2020高考英語新創(chuàng)新一輪復(fù)習(xí)寫作第二編擴(kuò)充句告別瘦削骨感美在意韻豐滿學(xué)案含解析

1、擴(kuò)充句告別瘦削骨感美在意韻豐滿不是不會(huì)寫，而是不知寫什么，尤其是面對(duì)越來越開放化的寫作要點(diǎn)時(shí)，考生不善想象，不會(huì)發(fā)散，導(dǎo)致語句表達(dá)干癟無物，直譯要點(diǎn)，搜腸刮肚也湊不夠詞數(shù)，一臉窘態(tài)。如何合理想象、擴(kuò)充句式，讓寫作有血有肉，本部分從4個(gè)方面給予指導(dǎo)。擴(kuò)充策略(一)不走尋常路，靚句帶你飛追加成分高考英語書面表達(dá)不僅規(guī)定了寫作內(nèi)容，還明確規(guī)定了詞數(shù)，并在評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)中指出，如果“詞數(shù)少于80和多于120的，從總分中減去2分”。但在實(shí)際閱卷過程中，如果詞數(shù)過少，扣掉的不止是2分。因?yàn)槠^短，不能吸引閱卷老師細(xì)看以便查找諸如“高級(jí)詞匯”“較高級(jí)結(jié)構(gòu)”等“加分點(diǎn)”，自然影響得分檔次。在試題“注意”中有明確規(guī)

2、定：“1.詞數(shù)100左右；2.可以適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，以使行文連貫”。這里既規(guī)定了詞數(shù)，又指定了充實(shí)文章的方法，即“適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)”。“適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)”其中很重要的一個(gè)方法就是追加成分。目的擴(kuò)展句子，充實(shí)文章在要點(diǎn)句基礎(chǔ)上適當(dāng)增加合乎邏輯的附加成分，如定語(從句)、狀方法語(從句)(如目的、條件、原因、結(jié)果、方式等)、非謂語結(jié)構(gòu)、獨(dú)立主格結(jié)構(gòu)、舉例等，使表達(dá)更豐滿，內(nèi)容更充實(shí)，主題更突出特色結(jié)構(gòu)多變，句式多樣典例觀摩悟法1(提醒演講參賽選手)要守時(shí)、講衛(wèi)生、守紀(jì)律。Pleasearriveontime,keepquietanddontlitteraround.ItsPleasearrivethereon

3、time,forwhoeverislatewontbeallowedtoenter.badmannerstolitteraround.Andalwayskeepquietwhilewaitingforyourturn.分析原句雖然沒有直譯所給要點(diǎn)，且靈活化解了難點(diǎn)，但過于直白、語氣較為生硬；而改寫后的句子則進(jìn)行了拓展，具體明確。如“forwhoeverislate.”提醒參賽選手遲到后果的嚴(yán)重性；“Itsbadmanners.”使用it作形式主語的句型，指出亂扔?xùn)|西屬于不禮貌行為；“whilewaitingforyourturn”使用狀語從句的省略形式，進(jìn)行補(bǔ)充說明。因此，改寫后的句子更充實(shí)，

4、更適宜對(duì)參賽選手提建議的語境。2(演講注意事項(xiàng))要面帶微笑；要講慢些，講清楚。Besuretowearasmileonyourface.Besides,remembertospeakslowlyandclearly.Besuretowearasmileonyourfacerelaxed.Besides,remembertospeakslowlyandwhenyouspeak,whichwillmakeyouclearlysothatyoucanleaveagoodimpressionontheaudienceandjudges.分析加藍(lán)部分是根據(jù)語境所追加的成分，如“whichwillmake

5、yourelaxed”指出“演講時(shí)微笑”的好處；“sothatyoucan.”為“講慢些，講清楚”的目的，留下好印象是“演講”效果之一，也是能否獲得評(píng)委青睞的因素之一。適當(dāng)增加與所給信息相關(guān)的時(shí)間、原因、結(jié)果、條件、目的等成分來表達(dá)細(xì)節(jié)內(nèi)容，能夠使習(xí)作流暢、豐滿，達(dá)到應(yīng)有的表達(dá)效果。專題過關(guān)訓(xùn)練請(qǐng)發(fā)揮合理想象，擴(kuò)展句子(請(qǐng)注意括號(hào)內(nèi)提供的語境)1(開設(shè)英語電影欣賞課)建議多選擇英語電影。As_a_young_student,_IsuggesttheteacherchoosemoreEnglishfilmsthatappeal_to_us_teenagers,_thusmaking_Englis

6、h_learning_more_interesting.2(討論學(xué)生帶手機(jī)問題)不允許學(xué)生帶手機(jī)。Studentsareforbiddentotakeacellphonein_order_not_to_affect_our_studies/so_as_not_to_disturb_others_in_class.3(去看電影)你最好早點(diǎn)到。In_order_to_get_a_good_seat_for_seeing,_youdbetterarriveabitearlier.4(2018全國(guó)卷書面表達(dá))(通知學(xué)校放映電影)這部英文短片主要與我們學(xué)校的發(fā)展有關(guān)。TheEnglishshortfil

7、mismainlyrelatedtothedevelopmentofourschool,which_will_greatly_help_us_students_know_the_schools_history_better_and_appeal_to_us_to_make_contributions_to_our_schools_development.5(2018全國(guó)卷書面表達(dá))(介紹學(xué)校體育館)體育場(chǎng)館已經(jīng)建立起來，許多運(yùn)動(dòng)項(xiàng)目可在里面舉行。Tobeginwith,anewstadiumhasbeenbuiltup，which_has_become_the_new_landmark_in_

8、our_school.Moreover,withthestadiumsetup,awiderangeofsportseventsareabletobeheld,of_which_table_tennis,_football_as_well_as_running_competitions_enjoy_great_popularity.6(2018北京高考書面表達(dá))(咨詢來北京上大學(xué))建議你上北京大學(xué)，中國(guó)文學(xué)專業(yè)適合你。Learning_your_keen_interest_in_Chinese_culture,_IsuggestPekingUniversity,one_of_the_best_

9、universities_in_China.ItsChineseLiteraturemajorisperfectforyouapplyforyouwhere_you_can_be_completely_soaked_in_Chinese_profound_history_and_rich_culture.擴(kuò)充策略(二)鋪上紅地毯再出場(chǎng)補(bǔ)加語句補(bǔ)加語句是常見的“增加細(xì)節(jié)”的方法，這可以使文章顯得錯(cuò)落有致，這樣不僅使文章在形式上增加美感，而且使文章讀起來鏗鏘有力，從而使作文在內(nèi)容上更加連貫、豐滿。下面介紹補(bǔ)加語句的幾種技法：目的充實(shí)文章，增強(qiáng)連貫性根據(jù)行文走向，適當(dāng)增加一些與主題相關(guān)的語句，或由要

10、點(diǎn)方法衍生的句子，既起到前引后聯(lián)的作用，又能補(bǔ)充一些相關(guān)信息，幫助閱卷者理解所寫內(nèi)容。同時(shí)，還能協(xié)調(diào)句式，避免句式單調(diào)的問題特色協(xié)調(diào)句式，結(jié)構(gòu)多樣技法1列舉具體的實(shí)例進(jìn)行補(bǔ)充說明我喜歡讀書。Ilikereadingbooks.Ilikereadingbooks,suchasnovels,shortstories,magazinesandnewspapers.我要花一些時(shí)間和父母在一起。Illspendsometimestayingwithmyparents.Illspendsometimestayingwithmyparents,chattingwiththemanddoingsomehous

11、ework.我想找一個(gè)像我一樣喜歡旅行的筆友。Idliketoseekapenpalwhoisinterestedintravelingjustlikeme.Idliketoseekapenpalwhoisinterestedintravelingjustlikeme.Ifpossible,wecantraveltogetherorsharetravelingexperiences.技法2增添與所寫信息相關(guān)的神態(tài)、動(dòng)作、心理描寫以及背景渲染等內(nèi)容我有時(shí)去村西的小河游泳。Igoswimmingintheriverofthewestofthevillagenowandthen.Igoswimmin

12、gintheintheriverisveryclear.(Weatherpermitting,andthen.(相關(guān)背景)riverofthewestof背景渲染)Igoswimminginthetherivervillageofthenowandthen.Thewaterwestofthevillagenow旅行了一周后，他回到了家。Afteraweekstrip,hereturnedhome.Afteraweekstrip,hereturnedhome,tiredbutveryhappy.(心理描寫)技法3增加相關(guān)信息的時(shí)間、地點(diǎn)等內(nèi)容我要和父母一起去超市購(gòu)物。Imgoingtodosom

13、eshoppingwithmyparentsinthesupermarket.Imgoingtodosomeshoppingwithmyparentsinthesupermarketandwontbebackuntilabout5：00intheafternoon.(增加時(shí)間)我已經(jīng)帶來了你讓我歸還的這兩本書。Ihavetakenwithmethetwobooksyouaskedmetoreturn.IhavetakenwithmethetwobooksyouaskedmetoreturntotheCityLibrary.(增加地點(diǎn))典例觀摩悟法1(提醒觀眾注意)要按時(shí)進(jìn)入電影院。Besure

14、toenterthetheaterontime.Besuretoenterthetheaterontime.Whoeverislatewillmissthesplendidopening.分析要點(diǎn)句為簡(jiǎn)單句，補(bǔ)加復(fù)合句“Whoeverislate.”，通過指出遲到后果的方式引起觀眾的注意，同時(shí)，也使得句式多樣，表達(dá)豐富多彩。2(談?wù)撋瓶钣猛?募捐得來的錢將送給最急需的人。Themoneycollectedinthecharitysalewillbesenttothoseingreatneed.Themoneycollectedinthecharitysalewillbesenttothosei

15、ngreatneed.Thiswillnotonlyhelpthemgetthroughdifficulties,butalsogivethemwarmthandhappiness.分析通過復(fù)合句來增加“較復(fù)雜結(jié)構(gòu)”，同時(shí)也是上一句衍生的“效果”：幫助他們戰(zhàn)勝困難，還給予他們溫暖和幸福。專題過關(guān)訓(xùn)練請(qǐng)適當(dāng)補(bǔ)加語句，充實(shí)下面寫作片段1(描寫英語老師)Hisclassleftusstudentsadeepimpression.(1)He_tries_his_best_to_make_us_understand_what_he_is_teaching/He_has_a_free_talk_with_

16、us_in_simple_and_humorous_English/He_has_a_good_way_to_make_his_class_lively_and_interesting.Hespeaksslowlyandclearlysothatwecanfollowhimwell.Meanwhile,hewouldrepeatjustintimewhatthestudentsdidnotunderstand.(2)Greatly_inspired,_most_of_us_take_an_active_part_in_his_class/Our_English_has_greatly_impr

17、oved_with_his_help_and_guidance.2(說明自己所擅長(zhǎng)的兩項(xiàng)技藝)AsaChinese,Imgoodatmanyskillsrelatedwithourtraditionalculture.Butamongthem,Taichiismyfavoritebecauseitdoesmuchgoodtomyhealth.(1)Im_sure_American_friends_will_be_also_crazy_about_it_after_they_touch_it.Andasyouknow,Chinesecookingispopularallovertheworld.

18、(2)It_happens_that_Im_expert_at_it,_and_Im_glad_to_present_some_traditional_Chinese_dishes_to_everybody.3(2018浙江高考寫作)(應(yīng)聘志愿者的相關(guān)經(jīng)驗(yàn))Firstly,IcanspeakfluentEnglishand(1)I_have_little_difficulty_communicating_with_foreigners.Secondly,Ihelpedreceivesomevisitingforeignerstoourschoollastyear.(2)This_experie

19、nce_is_sure_to_enable_me_to_do_better_this_year.4(互聯(lián)網(wǎng)的好處)TheInternetisplayingamoreandmoreimportantpartinourdailylife.We_can_not_only_read_news_from_home_and_abroad,_but_also_get_information,_send_emails_and_attend_online_schools.擴(kuò)充策略(三)陡轉(zhuǎn)之處拐個(gè)彎增加過渡增加過渡是常見的“增加細(xì)節(jié)”的方法，過渡性詞語和過渡性語句的使用是語言連貫性得以實(shí)現(xiàn)的最常用手段。在句與句

20、之間，段與段之間恰當(dāng)?shù)厥褂靡恍┏猩蠁⑾碌倪^渡(連接)性詞語、句子可避免語句陡轉(zhuǎn)直下，不聯(lián)不搭，通過合理過渡，實(shí)現(xiàn)語句的銜接順暢。這就需要考生在日常學(xué)習(xí)中積累背誦常用的過渡詞。例如：表示列舉的firstly,secondly,thirdly,finally；表示自己看法的asfarasImconcerned,frommypointofview,inmyopinion；表示轉(zhuǎn)折的onthecontrary,however,everycoinhastwosides等。目的增加凝聚力，突出連貫性根據(jù)行文或段落需要，在句與句或段與段之間適當(dāng)增加過渡方法性詞語，或者過渡句，以使文章渾然一體，提高說服力特色

21、行文連貫，條理清晰典例觀摩悟法1(話題：家長(zhǎng)用車接送學(xué)生引起校門口擁堵)Ourtrafficdepartmentshouldstrengthenmanagementtomaketheparentsobeytrafficrules.Ourschoolshouldappealtousstudentstowalkorrideabiketoandfromschool,whichisnotonlyfriendlytoourtrafficenvironmentbutalsoisgoodforstudentshealth.Inmyopinion,theproblemcanbesolvedfromtwoasp

22、ects.Ononehand,trafficdepartmentshouldstrengthenmanagementtomaketheparentsobeytrafficrules.Ontheotherhand,ourschoolshouldappealtousstudentstowalkorrideabiketoandfromschool,whichisnotonlyfriendlytoourtrafficenvironmentbutalsoisgoodforstudentshealth.分析本段作者使用Inmyopinion,theproblemcanbesolved.our主題句，其中f

23、romtwoaspects讓讀者明白作者提供了兩個(gè)方面的建議，并以ononehand,ontheotherhand進(jìn)行展示。這些過渡性詞語和過渡句的恰當(dāng)使用，使文章語言連貫、過渡自然、渾然一體。2(去美國(guó)學(xué)習(xí)英語詢問具體問題)Imconcernedwithhowfaritisfromthehostfamilytomyschool.Imwonderingwhetheraprivatebedroomwillbeofferedtome.ItendtoknowifthereareanyspecialcustomsthatIshouldpayattentionto.Wouldyoupleasegivem

24、esomemoresuggestionsonhowtogetalongwellwiththehostfamily？Imsureyouradvicewillbenefitmealot.Firstly，Imconcernedwithhowfaritisfromthehostfamilytomyschool.Secondly,Imwonderingwhetheraprivatebedroomwillbeofferedtome.Furthermore，ItendtoknowifthereareanyspecialcustomsthatIshouldpayattentionto.Lastbutnotle

25、ast,wouldyoupleasegivemesomemoresuggestionsonhowtogetalongwellwiththehostfamily？Imsureyouradvicewillbenefitmealot.分析本段作者使用firstly,secondly,furthermore,lastbutnotleast使層次清晰連貫，使文章提高一個(gè)檔次，能彰顯作者實(shí)力。專題過關(guān)訓(xùn)練.用過渡性詞匯補(bǔ)全句子1(2018浙江高考to_make_matters_worse/worse_still(2(2018北京高考書面表達(dá)寫作)Welostourway更糟的是),itgotdark.)I

26、n_my_opinion/view(依我看intheforest)studyingforadegreeandinadifferentcultureisnevereasy.3First_of_all/To_begin_with(首先),themostsignificantthingistosetagoal,workoutaplanandcarryouttheplanstepbystep.4On_the_one_hand(一方面),theycansweepthetombsforthedead.On_the_other_hand(另一方面),theycangoforawalkinthecountry

27、inspringwhenthegrasshasjustturnedgreen.5In_a_word/In_conclusion/In_short/In_brief(總之),successisimportant,andsoisfailure,becauseitsthemotherofsuccess.閱讀下面短文，從方框中選擇適當(dāng)?shù)倪^渡性詞語填空近來，中學(xué)生普遍缺乏自我保護(hù)意識(shí)這一問題備受關(guān)注，請(qǐng)你用英語寫一篇短文：1概括中學(xué)生自我保護(hù)的重要性；2就如何保護(hù)自己談?wù)勀愕目捶?至少兩點(diǎn))。aboveall，besides，meanwhile，foronething，foranotherthing，p

28、ersonally，inawordRecently,ithasbeenagreatpublicconcernthatthestudentslackself-protectionawareness.Thereisalackofsocialexperienceamongstudentsandthereforelearninghowtoprotectourselvesisofgreatsignificancetousall.1.For_one_thing,_securitycomesfirst.Withoutsecurity,wecanachievenothingandcannotliveuptop

29、arentsthing,_protectingourselvescontributestothehealthydevelopmentofusstudents,whichisassociatedwiththehappinessofeveryfamily.3.Meanwhile,_italsohelpstobuildamoreharmonioussociety.4Personally,_inordertoprotectusstudents,5.above_all,_weshouldstrengthenoursecurityawareness.6.Besides,_whenaccidentsoccu

30、r,weshouldcalmdownandturntoteachersorparentsforhelp.Thegovernmentalsoplaysaleadingroleinprotectingstudents.7.In_a_word,_onlybythecombinedeffortsofeverysideinvolvedcanweliveandstudyinharmony.請(qǐng)?jiān)谙旅娴亩温鋬?nèi)加上適當(dāng)?shù)脑~語或句子，以充實(shí)文章(話題：是否禁止廣場(chǎng)舞)Idontthinksquaredancingshouldbeegin_with,_dancingisagoodwaytotakeexercise,

31、whichcanhelppeopletobuildthemselvesup.It3.alsoprovidesachanceforpeopletocommunicatewitheachother.4.Besides/Whats_more,_thesquareisagoodplaceforpeopletoworkout.擴(kuò)充策略(四)世界那么大，帶你去看看詳加描述詳加描述是常見的“增加細(xì)節(jié)”的方法，這可以使文章詞數(shù)達(dá)標(biāo)、內(nèi)容充實(shí)、結(jié)構(gòu)連貫、語意順暢。目的有詳有略，主次分明根據(jù)提示要求，首先確定主要點(diǎn)和次要點(diǎn)，然后在主要點(diǎn)上著方法筆潑墨。除了前面提到的采用“追加成分”以擴(kuò)展句子的方式外，還可把一些主

32、要點(diǎn)分開詳述，從而提升這些要點(diǎn)的分量特色詳略得當(dāng)，重點(diǎn)突出典例觀摩悟法下面是一位考生的習(xí)作，請(qǐng)進(jìn)行修改，以充實(shí)文章、突出主題。一家英語報(bào)社向中學(xué)生征文，主題是“我理想的大學(xué)生活”，請(qǐng)根據(jù)下列要求和你的暢想完成短文。1專業(yè)與課程；2.老師與同學(xué)；3.學(xué)校活動(dòng)。注意：1.詞數(shù)100左右；2可以適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，以使行文連貫；3開頭語已給出，不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)。Ioftenimaginewhatmylifewillbelikeinmydreamuniversity.學(xué)生習(xí)作(得分16分)Ioftenimaginewhatmylifewillbelikeinmydreamuniversity.Illbeadmi

33、ttedtoPekingUniversityandmajorinEnglish.Icanchooseavarietyofcourses,suchasEnglishliterature.Theprofessortherewillbefriendlyanddevotedtotheirteaching.Besides,Illhavelovelyandcaringclassmates.Inoursparetime,variousactivitieswillbeheldtobuildupourcourageandexperience,suchaspartiesandcompetitions.分析該文雖然

34、把題干中給出的三個(gè)要點(diǎn)一一列出，結(jié)構(gòu)清晰，還使用了一些高級(jí)詞匯如beadmittedto,avarietyof,bedevotedto,various等。然而由于簡(jiǎn)單羅列要點(diǎn)，全文只有約70詞，且缺少連貫性，未能完全完成試題規(guī)定的任務(wù)。下面是修改完成后的作文，請(qǐng)注意加黑句子對(duì)充實(shí)文章、突出主題的作用。Ioftenimaginewhatmylifewillbelikeinmydreamuniversity.AsfarasIcanimagine,IllbeadmittedtoPekingUniversity,whereIllmajorinEnglish.Icanchooseavarietyofco

35、urses,whichwillhelpmeimprovemyspokenEnglishandhaveabetterunderstandingofforeigncultures.Theprofessorstherewillbefriendlyanddevotedtotheirteaching,withwhosehelpnotonlycanIenrichmyknowledgebutalsoIcanbroadenmyhorizons.Inaddition,Illhavelovelyandcaringclassmates.Wellcompeteinourstudyandbeclosefriendsin

36、ourdailylife.Inourfreetime,variousactivitieswillbeheldtobuildupourcourageandexperience,suchaspartiesandcompetitions.Imsuremycollegelifewillberichandcolorful.分析修改后的文章篇幅適中(120words)，要點(diǎn)齊全、內(nèi)容充實(shí)、語言豐富、句式多樣、行文連貫，而且詳略得當(dāng)，主題突出。文中“詳加描述”合情合理(見加黑部分)，尤其是最后一句與文章首句照應(yīng)，結(jié)構(gòu)顯得非常緊湊。總之，要想使文章充實(shí)、連貫，就需要“適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)”。但是，這些細(xì)節(jié)的增加需要結(jié)

37、合體裁、主題以及行文走向，“畫龍點(diǎn)睛”式地增加，絕不能毫無節(jié)制地亂加一氣，以免沖淡主題，模糊文意，甚至“跑偏了”主題。專題過關(guān)訓(xùn)練1下面是一位考生的習(xí)作，請(qǐng)進(jìn)行修改，以充實(shí)文章、突出主題。近來，中國(guó)游客在海外的不文明行為備受熱議。假定你是李華，是一名國(guó)際旅行社的導(dǎo)游，就此寫一篇短文在一份英文報(bào)紙上發(fā)表自己的觀點(diǎn)。請(qǐng)根據(jù)下面的提示完成短文。1列舉不文明行為；2指出其影響；3提出建議。注意：1.詞數(shù)100左右；2可以適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，以使行文連貫；3開頭已給出，不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)。Asatourguideofaninternationaltravelagency,Ifinditsoembarrassingt

38、oseemanyChinesetouristsbehavebadlyabroad.考生習(xí)作Asatourguideofaninternationaltravelagency,IfinditsoembarrassingtoseemanyChinesetouristsbehavebadlyabroad.Suchbadbehaviorsoverseashavecauseddamagetothecountrysreputation.Measuresshouldbetakentostopthis.First,beforegoingabroad,touristsshouldbetrainedtoobeys

39、ocialandpublicorder,andrespectlocalreligionscustoms.Besides,kindergartensandprimaryschoolsshoulddomoretoteachtoberesponsiblecitizens.andthekids升格作文Asatourguideofaninternationaltravelagency,IfinditsoembarrassingtoseemanyChinesetouristsbehavebadlyabroad.Theyspeakloudlyinpublicplaces,carvecharactersontouristattractions,throwrubbish,spiteverywhere,andevencrosstheroadwhenthetrafficlightsarestillred.Suchbadbehaviorsoverseashavecauseddamagetothecountrysreputation.Measuresshouldbetakentostopthis.First,beforegoingabroad,touristsshouldbetrainedtoobeysocial