讀后續(xù)寫：糾正自己的錯誤 講義-高三英語寫作專項

讀后續(xù)寫原材料：Paul

grabbedhis

batandglove,andracedoutofthedoortowardsthe

Steve’s.Summervacationjustbegan.Theboysplannedtoplaybaseballeveryday,sotheycouldmaketheteaminthefollowingsemester.Paul

waswaitingoutsidefor

Steve."Whatareyoudoing?Where'syourstuff?"

Steve

asked,liftinghisbatontohisshoulder.

Paul

shookhishead,"Ihaveto

clean

Mr.

Thompson'sgaragebeforeIcango.Withhisbrokenarm,hecan'tdoithimself.Mymomalwaysvolunteersmeto

help

the

Thompson's.Shethinksthey'rekindofoldandcan'taffordtohireacleaner."Togettheworkdoneearlier,

Steve

offeredtohelp.Theboyswentdowntheblocktothe

Thompson'sandgotstarted.Theyfounda

couple

ofbrooms.Beforetheyswept,theyputboxesscatteredaroundthegarageflooronshelves.As

Paul

putabigboxona

shelf,itfelloffandwithitfellanenvelope.Hepickeditup.Itwasn'tsealed,soheopenedit.Outofhissurprise,therewereseveralonehundreddollarbillsinside."You'vegottoseethis."Hepulledoutthebillsandshowed

Steve,"Itjustfelldownwhentheboxfell.There'sgottobeseveralhundreddollarshere."

Paul

lookedpast

Steve

tothe

garage

doorandcontinued,"Nobody'shere.Ifwetakesome,Ibetnoonewilleverknow."Beforehisvoicediedaway,

Paul

hadalreadydrawnoutonebillandstuffeditintohispocket.Steve

frownedandshookhishead."Areyoucrazy?That's

stealing."

Paul

ignoredhimandprotested,"Well,Idoalotofchoresforthemanddon'tget

paid.It'snotreallystealing.It'skindofpaymentformyhardwork.Andonehundredwilldoforabatandglovein

I

go'sSportsStore".Withthis,

Paul

puttherestmoneyback.Steve

wasabouttograbthemoneyfrom

Paul'spocketwhentheyheardavoice,"Hello,boys.Comeinforachocolatecake!

I

madeoneforyou."Paragraph1：AtthesightofMr.

Thompson,

Paul

and

Steve

frozeinshock.Paragraph2：Whentheywereabouttoleave,Mr.

Thompson

handed

Paul

abrandnewbatandglove.已知線索：Steve邀約Paul外出打棒球——Paul答應(yīng)媽媽幫Thompson先生打掃車庫——Steve提議一同干活然后再去玩——打掃時有信封掉落——孩子們發(fā)現(xiàn)大量現(xiàn)金——Paul想據(jù)為己有——Steve極力打消Paul的想法?？衫m(xù)寫線索：Paul與Steve之間會有爭吵？Thompson夫婦會發(fā)現(xiàn)他們的行為嗎？Thompson拿來蛋糕后兩位孩子會有怎樣的思考？設(shè)置問題鏈：Para.1:Q1:Howdidthetwoboysreact?

Q2:

WhatdidMr.Thompsonsay?

Q3:What

wasPaul’sinnerthoughtwhenhewashavingthecake?

Q4:

Howlongdidtheyfinishthetask?Para.2:Q1:HowdidPaultakethebatandtheglove?

Q2:

WhydidMr.ThompsongivePaulthegift?

Q3:

WhatdidPauldecidetodowhenreceivingthegift?

Q4:

WhatlessondidPaullearnfromthisexperience?

參考范文“Boys,Ibakedachocolatecake,”Mr.Thompsonwalkedintothegarage.CatchingsightofMrsThompson,thetwofrozewithfearandfollowedhisstepwithracinghearts.Afewminuteslater,theywereservedwithlargeslicesofcake.Deliciousasthecakewas,theydidn’thaveanyappetite.Mr.Thompsonseemedtonoticesomethingwaswrong,“Boys,doyoulikethecake?”PaulnoddedwithhiseyesdroppingtoavoidanyeyecontactwithMr.Thompsonandgrowingguiltcreptintohisheart.Whentheywereabouttoleave,Mr.ThompsonhandedPaulabrand-newbatandglove.Paullookedatthem,hisfaceblushingwithshame.“Th...thankssomuch.”Voicetrembling,Paulthenbravelypouredouteverythingabouttheenvelopeandapologizedforhisbehavior.Mr.Thompson,insteadofboilingwithanger,pattedhimonthebackandsaidgently:“Oh,thankyouforhelpingmefindtheenvelope.ItotallyforgotwhereIhadputit.”Inthatsplitmoment,itdawnedonhimthatwhatreallymattersissimplyhonestyandkindness.分析：1.CatchingsightofMrsThompson,thetwofrozewithfearandfollowedhisstepwithracinghearts.

Ving+句子+with復(fù)合結(jié)構(gòu)，寫出了兩個小孩的害怕。2.Deliciousasthecakewas,theydidn’thaveanyappetite.

As的倒裝寫出了小孩有心事的表現(xiàn)。3.Paullookedatthem,hisfaceblushingwithshame.

句子+獨立主格結(jié)構(gòu)寫出了Paul的羞愧。4.Inthatsplitmoment,itdawnedonhimthatwhatreallymattersissimplyhonestyandkindness.

Itdawnedonsb.that....和whatmattersis....句型來升華主題.

下水作文：Paragraph1:

＂Boys，Ibakedachocolatecake，＂Mr.Thompsonwalkedintothegarage.

Quicklythrustingthemoneyintohispocket,PaulnudgedStevewithhisankle,signalinghimnottosayanythingaboutthemoney.Steve’sfaceflushedredandhewasyellinginhisheart,“whendidPaulbecomesodishonestandselfish?”However,atnotimewouldhebetrayhisbestfriend.Bothboysquicklyregainedtheircomposureandforcedaresponse,“thankyousomuch,Mr.Thompson,wecouldhardlywaittosampleyouryummychocolatecake!”Then,theyfollowedMr.Thompsonintothekitchenandmunchedonthecakewithawanderingmind.

Paragraph2:

Whentheywereabouttoleave,Mr.ThompsonhandedPaulabrand-newbatandglove.“Ihopethiscanwinyouatickettothefreshmanteam!”Mr.Thompsonsaidsincerely.Faceburningred,neverhadPaulanticipatedthisunexpectedgift,especiallywithMr.Thompson’smoneyenvelopbulgingupinhispocket.TakingoverthebatandglovefromMr.Thompson,Paulreachedintohispocketandhandedhimtheenvelopback,“wefoundthisinyourgarage.”

Expressionchangingfromsurprisetoquestionandfinallytoapproval,Mr.ThompsonsanghighpraiseforPaulandSteven’snobledeed.Crackingthebrightestsmilehehadeverhad,

SteveknewhishonestanddecentfriendPaulhadmadeasuccessfulcomeback.分析：1.Quicklythrustingthemoneyintohispocket,PaulnudgedStevewithhisankle,signalinghimnottosayanythingaboutthemoney.

thrust,nudge,signal三個動詞和非謂語的配合，讓整個畫面感很足。2.Bothboysquicklyregainedtheircomposureandforcedaresponse,“thankyousomuch,Mr.Thompson,wecouldhardlywaittosampleyouryummychocolatecake!”gain

one’s

composure高級短語的使用

andforce動詞的使用，使得文章更加高大上。3.theyfollowedMr.Thompsonintothekitchenandmunchedonthecakewithawanderingmind.

這里withawonderingmind的使用寫出了小孩有心思。4.Expressionchangingfromsurprisetoquestionandfinallytoapproval,Mr.ThompsonsanghighpraiseforPaulandSteven’snobledeed.

From....to...to......寫出了Thompson先生的表現(xiàn)三變化，同時singhighpraisefor...短語的使用也給文章增彩不少。5.Crackingthebrightestsmilehehadeverhad,

SteveknewhishonestanddecentfriendPaulhadmadeasuccessfulcomeback.

Crackthebrightsmile...crack的使用寫出小孩發(fā)自內(nèi)心的笑。

下水作文“Boys,Ibakedachocolatecake.”

Mr.Thompsonwalkedintothegarage.

Thrustingthemoneyintohispocket,Paulquicklytookthecake,andsaid“Thankyou”,tryingtoactnormally.

①Ashamedandnervous,Stevejusthadthecake,loweringhisheadallthetime!

Afterasimpleandshortconversation,Mr.Thompsonwasreadytogo.

②TherefollowedacoupleofminuteswhenPaulwasinadilemmaastowhethertohandinthemoneyorkeepithimself.However,

③aninnervoicekepton