公開課爸爸最美的花

ContinuationWriting

---HowtopolishacontinuationwritingLearningTarget:tolearnabouthowtopolishacontinuationwritingWarm-upwhatwouldyouthinofwhenitcomestothelovebetweenfamiliesWarm-uppureinnocentaffectiontouchone'sheartunconditionalwithoutanypurposeWarm-upNothingismoreiliesLoveisonethingwhichwillneverfadeawaydesentChildren'ssmilecanmaepeopleforgetthetroublesandunpleasantthingsCherishthisetraordinaryandnobleaffectionMydad'sbestflowerWhatisthemainideaofthistet我的爸爸非常愛種在陽臺上的康乃馨，每天給這些花澆水、插地，定期換泥、修剪，照看它們就像自己的親生孩子一樣。深受其影響，我們兩個孩子也非常鐘愛這些花。有一天，我們打算用某種方式來表達(dá)我們對爸爸和花的愛。logictitlegivenstorytwogivensentencesunderlinedwords“Mydad'sbestflower”referstocarnation康乃馨）whichdadlovesgreatlylovebetweenthefamiliesReadforinformation---TitleTip①:FocusonthetitlewhenwritingMariaMomLoveandtaecareofFlowerDaughterDaughterDadElderSister“I”DaughterReadforinformation---tetwhoTip②:Considerthepersonalitieswhenwritingwhenmyhomewasasmallaent我們家住在一個小公寓里的時候當(dāng)父親回來時看到了花已經(jīng)枯萎了。Oneday,myeldersister,wholoveddadverymuch,hadagreatideaWhenmydadarrived,hewentasusual,straighttothebalconyandsawhisflowerslyingonthefloorliedeadanimals一天，姐姐產(chǎn)生了一個想法。引發(fā)了后面花枯萎的事件。Readforinformation---tetwhen1Interation首句解讀：yeldersister,wholoveddadverymuch,hadagreatideaGivenInformation（Maria）thatbalconyIetimeswithmyeldersister,MariaymomwasabsentshewaslieamothertomePara1Readforinformation---giveninformation續(xù)寫首句解讀G-N策略）1Interation首句解讀：yeldersister,wholoveddadverymuch,hadagreatideaNewInformationWhatwasthegreatideaHowdidwecarryoutthegreatidea AndwhatdidwedowiththeflowersWhatwasMom’sreactiontowhatwedid/haddone/weredoingWhatdidwedoafterwardsReadforinformation---giveninformation續(xù)寫首句解讀G-N策略）ydadarrived,hewentasusual,straighttothebalconyandsawhisflowerslyingonthefloorliedeadanimalsHintsforthefirste：beforedad'sarrival②Event:thesisterdidsomethingwiththeflowerscausingbadresultdead:negativeemotionReadforinformation---giveninformation續(xù)寫首句Tip③:eeptherestrictionsthroughthehintsofthefirstsentenceinthesecondparagraphwhenwritingthefirstparagraphCharactersPlacesPlotdevelopmentmom,Maria,flowersbalcony,streetaadeasharpcut;lovely,fascinatingReadforinformation---underlinedwords關(guān)鍵詞解讀G-N策略）Tip④:DonotforgettheunderlinedwordswhenwritingHowtocontinueanarrativestoryStepⅡ:Writing123Maeanoutline列出提綱Mindyourlanguage注意語言Beclearaboutthemaringcriteria清楚評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)logictitlegivenstorytwogivensentencesunderlinedwordsInterpretationofwritingideas寫作思路解讀Idea1:madeasharpcutto“I”bandagedthestemwithasmallbandageMomFlowerMariamaeagiftofflowersformaeagiftofflowersforDadAngryandglaredatAngryandglaredatInterpretationofwritingideas寫作思路解讀Idea2:picthebestoutof“I”FlowerMariaheldtheflowerstightlyandgentlyDadaccidentallyfellwaitednervouslygotannoyedandstormedintoourroomyeldersister,wholoveddadverymuch,hadagreatideaWriteadraftBeclearaboutthemaringcriteria第五檔21-25與所給短文融洽度高，與所提供各段落、開頭語銜接合理；內(nèi)容豐富，應(yīng)用了5個以上短文中標(biāo)出的關(guān)鍵詞語；所使用語法結(jié)構(gòu)和詞匯豐富、準(zhǔn)確，可能有些許錯誤，但完全不影響意義表達(dá)；有效地使用了語句間的連接成分，使所續(xù)寫短文結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊。RememberCloselyrelatedbetweenparagraphsandwithinparagraphsSpecificwordsorvividdescriptionVarioussentencepatternsUnderlinedwordsTiaringcriteriainmindwhilewritingFeelings:angry---annoyed;furious;mad;irritatedhappy---joyful;delighted;pleased;cheerfulafraid---frightened;scared;frightfulPolish---touselowfrequencywords

替換低頻詞

Actions:wal---steultiply;snowballaniety/fright

Polish---touselowfrequencywords

替換低頻詞

Polish---phrasesfirst短語優(yōu)先

Feelings:amiture/combinationofdowntears“~”'thelpdoingsthdelight/regret/fearwithanger6beseiedbyanger

Polish---variationsofsentencesActionsinto;stormintotoone'saidsbtodosthout/picouttodooutPolish---variationsofsentences①合并簡單句（運(yùn)用適當(dāng)?shù)倪壿嬤B接詞）②轉(zhuǎn)換句子主語（涉及到Ving;Todo;It;從句作主語等）③運(yùn)用特殊句式或結(jié)構(gòu)（with復(fù)合結(jié)構(gòu)；謂語＋賓語賓語補(bǔ)足語；強(qiáng)調(diào)句型；狀語從句的省略；it作形式主語和形式賓語）④修辭手法（simile明喻）Polish---variationsofsentencesSteomfailedmymomSteeoccurstomethatoccurstomePolish---variationsofsentencesSteaedaddelightedseetheflowersmaesdaddelightedbringdelighttomydadmaesdaddelightedtoseetheflowersseieddadwhenseeingflowersPolish---variationsofsentencesAspectsGood3’Average2’Poor1’1.Closelyrelated銜接合理，結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊2.Specificwordsorvividdescription用詞準(zhǔn)確，生動3.Varioussentencepatterns句式表達(dá)豐富4.Underlinedwords應(yīng)用5個以上關(guān)鍵詞5.Handwriting書寫美觀Total總分____/15StepⅢ:AssessingPossibleversion1Oneday,myeldersister,wholoveddadverymuch,hadagreatideaWantingtoheltheirstemsandarrangedthemonthefloorShebelievedthatDadwouldbeverythatwayWhenMomrealiedwhatmysisterhaddone,shedidn'tsayawordMysister