《三笑三國》英語話劇

第第頁《三笑三國》

旁白—黃麗清趙云—歐日斌曹操—周會軍夏侯敦—羅靖慧蔣干—黃忠麗劉備—楊愛榮諸葛亮—申海怡張飛—劉汝強道具：一坨布（代表阿斗）、槍（劍）。

開場介紹

Ladies

and

gentlemen,let

me

introduce

the

actors.

The

first

is

ZhaoYun,he

is

the

mostlyactor

today.And

his

black

brotherisZhangFei

,and

there

bossis

LiuBei

.Don't

forget

the

other

side

Mr

Cao,and

his

adviser

JiangGan,and

the

most

strong

XiaHou

Dun.At

last,Don't

forget

who

behind

the

scenes

MEthe

Director.

第一幕：人物，趙云

夏侯敦

曹操

蔣干

旁白：就在剛才不久，一個黑大漢從曹操軍中救出劉備之子劉阿斗，現(xiàn)在正向這里殺過來，他就是張飛！?。。ㄚw云出場）Not

too

long

ago,a

black

general

saved

the

son

of

LiuBei

-Liu

A

Dou.now,he

is

coming.

His

name

is

ZhangFei.

趙云：no！本人姓趙名云，乃常山子龍也！

no!

my

family

name

is

Zhao

my

middle

name

is

Yun

and

my

given

name

is

ZiLong

~

（趙云從背后拿出一坨布，代表阿斗）

趙云：看！這就是主公的最后一點骨血！劉阿斗！我從火場之中把他救出，而我自己的臉卻早已……唉……化作焦炭?。櫽白詰z狀）Look!

this

is

the

last

blood

of

the

boss

!

Liu

aDou

.

Ittook

him

out

from

the

fire

,but

my

face

hasalreadyturnedintocoke

...ai

~.

（夏侯敦挺著槍呈貓腰狀殺出）

夏侯敦：小賊，莫跑，要不然我就大開殺戒了（沖到）hey，

guy!stop

there

or

I

will

kill

you

.

（趙云左手抱阿斗，右手與之搏斗）

趙云：可惡！居然敢偷襲我！fuck,!!

you

bitch

dare

to

attack

me

??

（二人裝腔作勢打斗數(shù)招）

趙云：看我九陰白骨爪！！stop!!

wait!!!

one

two

three...

nine

dark

white

bone

fingers!!

夏侯敦：唔?。ǖ沟兀?/p>

oh

my

gad

I'm

over

.趙云：此地不宜久留，還是快去尋主公?。ㄏ拢﹜eah~

guy!

I

will

go

to

look

for

my

boss

,

goodbye~

（曹操、蔣干二人上）

曹操：沒想到我們初次出兵便殺得敵人望風(fēng)而逃！真可謂出師未捷身先死。長使英淚滿襟！

I

didn't

expect

that

we

can

beat

the

enemy

with

our

first

attack.

It

reminds

me

of

a

poem,

"Dead

Before

the

Ship

Even

Sank.

Long

the

hero

Tearful"

蔣干：丞相，您說這話，真不見得怎么吉利。

Prime

minister,It

does

not

sound

good

about

what

you

have

said.（曹操險些被地上的夏侯敦絆倒）

曹操：咦？這是誰扔的西瓜皮？（轉(zhuǎn)身，看見倒在地上的夏侯敦）Huh?

Who

threw

the

banana

rind?

曹操：是夏侯愛卿。難道他又在搞什么行為藝術(shù)?

XiaHou

Dun?

Is

he

engaged

in

what

somethingaboutperformance

art?

（蔣干上前將夏侯敦一頓拍打，二人站起）

曹操：夏侯愛卿為何要在地上裝西瓜皮？？Why

do

you

want

to

install

banana

rind

on

the

ground?

夏侯敦：有一人臉如黑炭

手抱孩子A

very

black

people

with

baby

in

his

band

.

蔣干：是敵人的保姆！還帶個孩子?。?！it

Is

enemy's

maid

with

a

child

in

his

arm.

曹操：那你呢？What

did

you

do?

夏侯敦：I

II……

I

rushed

to

him

and

fight

with

him.I’mfighting

fighting

fighting!!我

我……

我沖上去與之打斗

打

打

打

曹操：然后呢？What

then?

蔣干：丞相，看來是夏侯敦將軍殺退了敵人！

Prime

minister,

it

is

likely

that

general

Houdun

has

defeated

the

enemy

.

夏侯敦：唔唔！ZhaoYunusedhisninedarkwhitebonefingerstome!Iwassofearful.趙云用他的九陰白骨爪對付我，我好害怕?。ㄊ謩萑缦拢褐钢搁T外，右手作“九”的樣子，隨即作全身發(fā)冷狀，然后指向自己的衣服，再指向曹操，作爪擊狀）

曹操：然后呢？

Then

what

happened?

夏侯敦：No！No

！No！

I

was

defeated

he

used

the

nine

cloud

white

bone

finger

,it's

so

terrible

（曹操、蔣干二人將夏侯敦拉起）

曹操：如此看來，敵人應(yīng)該還沒有走遠。咱們乘勝追擊?。犊疇睿㊣t

seems

that

the

enemy

should

not

go

far.

Let's

run

after

them.

蔣干：有時候我真的很佩服丞相您這樂觀的心理……（贊同狀）

Sometimes

I

really

admires

prime

minister

very

much

about

your

optimistic

psychology

夏侯敦：Yes!Fighting,Fighting!Let’sgo!好！打！打！上?。。⊕嗥饍扇?，作欲與敵人搏斗狀）

（三人下）

第二幕:人物：劉備

張飛

諸葛亮

趙云

（劉備、張飛、諸葛亮三人上）

旁白：這是的劉備一行人正在軍營外觀看敵情~~~LiuBeiand

his

team

are

looking

something

out

of

his

military

camp.

（諸葛亮走在前面，張飛、劉備二人緊跟其后）

諸葛亮：（轉(zhuǎn)頭）主公啊，按理說是您走先啦?。üЬ礌睿㎝ymaster,you

should

walk

in

front

of

us!

Is

not

it?

劉備：不啦，軍師您身后有好大塊蔭涼，躲在這里避避暑也不錯。No，it's

very

cool

that

I

stand

just

behind

you，I

can

avoid

summer

heat

.

諸葛亮：（眺望狀）主公，如果我所料不錯，現(xiàn)在馬上就要下雨了！Oh!Mymaster,come

here!

I

tell

you

a

secret!

I

think

it

is

about

to

rain!

劉備：先生神算！人所不及！不知先生如何知道將要下雨？great

prediction！No

one

can

compare

with

you！just

wonder

how

do

you

know

it's

going

to

rain？

諸葛亮：首先，天氣預(yù)報說今天有雨；其次，（以手指前方）看天，那邊有一塊黑云。First,the

weather

report

told

us

it

is

going

to

rain

today;second,look

at

the

sky,so

many

dark

clouds

are

coming!

旁白：BythistimeZhaoYundesperatelyrunfromthefront.ZhangFeibecomesoexcitedatthismoment.這時候趙云從前方拼命地趕過來。張云變得很興奮。這時候（趙云上）

張飛：哇！那就是子龍啊，想不到這一會不見子龍就換了個新桌面。夏侯敦：我靠，又一個黑人，黑人都是很牛x的，我怕了。

black

man

come

again

，

Blacks

are

very

powerful，I'm

fearful.曹操：閣下是何人，何以竟有如此美妙的聲音！Excuse

me.

May

I

know

your

name?

What

a

wonderful

voice

you

have!

張飛：我便是那燕（yān）人張翼德?。ㄒа溃㊣

am

Zhang

YiDe

from

NaYan!

(clenches

teeth)

（咬牙切齒的樣子）曹操：閹人？？原來只是一個太監(jiān)……夏侯敦，上去解決他！

You

are

the

so

called

coward,aren't

you?HouDun,beat

him!

（夏侯敦低頭貓腰沖出）

夏侯敦：唔！唔~唔！

（二人打在一起）旁白：真是厲害的車輪戰(zhàn)啊，這時候夏侯已經(jīng)被張飛打得狼狽不堪了。IsreallyfierceCheLunZhanah!Atthistime,XiaHouDunhasbeenZhangFeiplayedindisorder.（定格）

蔣干：丞相，這一仗咱們必輸，一會還有橋斷水倒流呢！快叫夏侯將軍下來吧。

Prime

minister,

we

must

have

lose

this

Campaign

,

the

bridge

will

also

cut

off

the

water

soon!Let's

call

XiaHouDun

general

to

get

down

quickly.

曹操：你怎么知道？How

do

you

know

it?

蔣干：《真三國無雙叁》，長坂的任務(wù)啊??！

"Really,it

is

the

game's

duty

of

Three

countries

Unparalleled

Three"!!

曹操：干啊，我看你是太沉迷于網(wǎng)絡(luò)游戲了。這樣既浪費時間又上海身體，你還是聽為丞相的一句話吧！珍愛生命，遠離三俗??！

I

think

you

are

too

addicted

to

online

games.

What

a

waste

of

time,

and

It's

harmful,listen

to

me

,You

must

take

good

care

of

yourself.

（張飛與夏侯敦二人繼續(xù)，張飛一槍擊中夏侯敦）

夏侯敦：oh

!my

gad

!

I

am

over

again.又被打敗了

（蔣干上前將夏侯敦拖回）曹操：唉，如今這世道變了，太監(jiān)都這么厲害啦??？

Nowtheworldhaschanged.Why

does

that

coward

become

so

brave?

張飛：曹賊聽著！今日汝等必不能生過此橋！

CaoCao

,!Shutup!

Listentome!Today

you

all

can't

pass

this

bridge

with

a

live

one!

曹操：汝休得猖狂！今日要不是我手下典韋身死，許諸拉稀，于禁肺炎，李典麻疹，文聘肝癌，張遼痔瘡，才不會輸給你！shut

up!If

general

DianWei

was

still

alive,We

would

not

be

defeated!

張飛：你手下終究無人可用！啊，面對此景次請，我真想賦詩一首——Nobody

may

go

to

battle

for

you

,Facing

this

scenery,I

really

want

to

sing

a

song.er,

on

On

（音樂起）only

you

~~~~~only……you……

（夏侯敦躍起）

夏侯敦：唔唔唔……（以手捂耳，跑下）It’sveryunpleasanttohear!太難聽了！

曹操：??！Help!（慘厲的叫聲，并以手捂耳）

蔣干：??！Itissimply,makethegodscry!簡直是驚天地，泣鬼神?。。☉K厲的叫聲，并以手捂耳）

曹操：這難道就是傳說中的門得爾松的c大調(diào)《鬼叫》協(xié)奏曲！何以如此震撼！（驚惶狀）Why

is

this

so

shocking!

Itseems,reallybeatm