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Unit3奧斯陸I remember on my first trip to Europe going alone to a movie in Copenhagen. In Denmark you are given a ticket for an assigned seat. I went into the cinema and discovered that my ticket directed me to sit beside the only other people in the place, a young couple locked in the sort of passionate embrace associated with dockside reunions at the end of long wars. I could no more have sat beside them than I could have ask to join in-it would have come to mush the same thing-so I took a place a few discreet seats away.1記得我第一次去歐洲旅行的時(shí)候,我在哥本哈根獨(dú)自一人去看電影。在丹麥,電影票是對(duì)號(hào)入座的。(此文來(lái)自袁勇兵博客)我走進(jìn)電影院,發(fā)現(xiàn)在我的票對(duì)應(yīng)的座位旁,只有一對(duì)年輕情侶。這對(duì)情侶如膠似漆地?fù)肀г谝黄?,如同一?chǎng)持久戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)結(jié)束后碼頭上親人的團(tuán)聚。我很不情愿坐在他們旁邊,就如我絕不會(huì)要求加入他們的行為一樣這兩者對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)并沒(méi)有什么不同因此我謹(jǐn)慎地隔幾個(gè)座位坐了下來(lái)。People came into the cinema, consulted their ticket and filled the seats around us. By the time the film started there were about 30 of us sitting together in a tight pack in the middle of vast and otherwise empty auditorium. Two minutes into the movie, a woman laden with shopping made her way with difficulty down my row, stopped beside my seat and told me in a stern voice, full of glottal stops and indignation, that I was in her place. This cause much paly of flashlights among the usherettes and fretful re-examining of tickets by everyone in the vicinity until word got around that I was an American tourist and therefore unable to follow simple seating instructions and I was escorted in some shame back to my assigned place.2人們陸續(xù)地走進(jìn)影院,參照電影票找到位子,在我們周?chē)讼聛?lái)。電影開(kāi)場(chǎng)時(shí),這個(gè)寬敞空曠的觀(guān)眾席中間,扎堆地坐了約30人。電影開(kāi)場(chǎng)兩分鐘后,一個(gè)拎著大包 小包購(gòu)物袋的女士艱難地?cái)D到我這排,在我座位旁停下,并用嚴(yán)厲的口吻憤怒地朝我用充滿(mǎn)了喉塞音的丹麥語(yǔ)說(shuō)道,我坐在了她的位子上。女引座員馬上打開(kāi)手電筒查看情況,身邊所有的人都不安地重新確認(rèn)自己票上的座位號(hào),直到大家都清楚了,我是一個(gè)美國(guó)游客,因此沒(méi)有遵循簡(jiǎn)單的就座指示。在羞愧中我被送回指定的位子。So we sat together and watch the movie, 30 of us crowed together like refugees in an overloaded lifeboat, rubbing shoulders and sharing small noises, and it occurred to me then that there certain things that some nations do better than everyone else and certain things that they do far worse and I began to wonder why that should be.3接下來(lái)我們坐在一起看電影,30人如同一艘超載的救生船上的難民一般擠作一團(tuán)。肩膀相互摩擦著,忍受著各種細(xì)小的噪聲。那時(shí)我想,有些國(guó)家在某些事情上做的比任 何其他國(guó)家都好,然而在另外一些事情上,他們卻糟糕很多。我開(kāi)始思考為何會(huì)有如此反差。Sometimes a nations little contrivances are so singular and clever that we associate them with that country alonedouble-decker buses in Britain, windmills in Holland (what an inspired addition to a flat landscape: think how they would transform Nebraska), sidewalk cafes in Paris. And yet there are some things that most countries do without difficulty that others cannot get a grasp of at all.4有時(shí)候某個(gè)國(guó)家的小發(fā)明是如此獨(dú)特和精巧,以至于我們總是由它而聯(lián)想到這個(gè)國(guó)家英國(guó)的雙層巴士,荷蘭的風(fēng)車(chē)(給原本單調(diào)的景觀(guān)增添了多么美妙的創(chuàng)意:想想這些風(fēng)車(chē)是如何改變了內(nèi)布拉斯加州),還有巴黎人行道上的露天咖啡館。然而, 也有一些事情,大部分國(guó)家能不費(fèi)吹灰之力地辦到,但某些國(guó)家卻完全想不到。The French, for instance, cannot get the hang of queuing. They try and try, but it is beyond them. Wherever you go in Paris, you see orderly lines waiting at bus stops, but as soon as the bus pulls up the line instantly disintegrates into something like a fire drill at a lunatic asylum as everyone scrambles to be the fist aboard, quit unaware that this defeats the whole purpose of queuing.5比如說(shuō),法國(guó)人無(wú)法掌握排隊(duì)的竅門(mén)。他們一遍遍地嘗試,但這似乎超出了他們的能力范圍。無(wú)論你去巴黎的任何地方,總會(huì)看到整齊的隊(duì)伍在公交車(chē)站候車(chē)。但一旦公交車(chē)靠站,隊(duì)伍立刻瓦解,就像精神病院的消防演習(xí)一樣,所有人都爭(zhēng)搶著第一個(gè)上車(chē),完全沒(méi)意識(shí)到,這樣一來(lái)排隊(duì)的意義就蕩然無(wú)存了。certain of the fundamentals of eating, as evidenced by their instinct to consume hamburgers with a knife and fork.To my continuing amazement, many of them also turn their fork upside-down and balance the food on the back of it. Ive lived in England for a decade and a half and I still have to quell an impulse to go up to strangers in pubs and restaurants and say, Excuse me, can I give you a tip thatll help those peas bouncing all over the table?6另一方面,英國(guó)人則不能領(lǐng)略吃的基本要領(lǐng)。證據(jù)就是他們本能地使用刀叉來(lái)食用漢堡。更令我驚訝的是,他們大多數(shù)都把叉子顛倒放置,將食物擱在它的背上。我已經(jīng) 在英國(guó)居住了 15年,但我仍不得不壓制這種沖動(dòng),想要走向酒吧或餐館里的陌生人說(shuō):“打擾一下,可以允許我告訴你一個(gè)小技巧嗎?(此文來(lái)自袁勇兵博客)那樣你就不會(huì)把豆子散落在整張桌子上了。Germans are flummoxed by humor, the Swiss have no concept of fun, the Spanish think there is nothing at all ridiculous about eating dinner at midnight, and the Italians should never, ever have been let in on the invention of the motor car.7德國(guó)人被幽默困擾,瑞士人對(duì)樂(lè)趣毫無(wú)概念,西班牙人絲毫不覺(jué)得在半夜吃晚飯有什么滑稽之處,而意大利人從不,也絕不會(huì)讓別人告訴他們汽車(chē)是如何發(fā)明的。One of the small marvels of my first trip to Europe was the discovery that the world could be so full of variety, that there were so many different of doing essentially identical things, like eating and drinking and buying cinema tickets. It fascinated me that Europeans could at once be so alike-that they could be so universally bookish and cerebral, and drive small cars, and live in little houses in ancient towns, and love soccer, and be relatively unmaterialistic and law-abiding, and have chilly hotel rooms and cosy and inviting places to eat and drink-and yet be so endlessly, unpredictably different from each other as well. I love the idea that you could never be sure of anything in Europe.8這次歐洲之旅帶給我很多驚奇的小事,其中一個(gè)就是我發(fā)現(xiàn)世界竟能如此多樣化,對(duì)于本質(zhì)上相同的事物處理起來(lái)卻方式各異,比如說(shuō)吃喝或是買(mǎi)電影票。有趣的是,歐洲人有時(shí)可以突然變得如此相似他們普遍好學(xué)而理性,開(kāi)著小車(chē),住在古鎮(zhèn)的小房子里,喜歡足球,不怎么注重物質(zhì)生活,遵紀(jì)守法,而且他們住寒冷的賓館房間,去溫暖舒適的地方吃喝然而卻同時(shí)擁有著如此琢磨不透、永無(wú)止盡的差異。在歐洲沒(méi)有什么是百分之百肯定的,對(duì)此我十分贊同。I still enjoy that sense of never knowing quite whats going on. In my hotel in Oslo, where I spent four days after returning from Hammerfest, the chambermaid each morning left me a packet of something called Bio Tex Bla,a “minipakke for ferie,hybelog weekend”, according to the instruction, I spent many happy hours sniffing it and experimenting with it, uncertain whether it was for washing out clothes or gargling or cleaning the toilet bowl. In the end I decided it was for washing out clothesit worked a treatbut for all I know for the rest of the week everywhere I went in solo people were saying to each other, ”you know, that man smelled like toilet-bowl cleaner.”9我仍然享受著對(duì)事情進(jìn)展的未知感。從哈默菲斯特返回后,我在奧斯陸的賓館呆了四天,女服務(wù)員每天早上都留給我一盒叫做Bio Tex Bla的東西,說(shuō)明上說(shuō)是一種 “minipakke for ferie,hybelog weekend”。我不清楚它到底是用來(lái)洗衣服的,還是漱口的, 或是用來(lái)淸洗抽水馬桶的,我通過(guò)聞它的氣味,并試驗(yàn)它各種可能的用法,度過(guò)了好幾個(gè)快樂(lè)的小時(shí)。最后我判定它是甩來(lái)洗衣服的它的確有效然而就我所知,在奧斯陸度過(guò)的剩下幾周中,無(wú)論我去哪兒,都聽(tīng)見(jiàn)有人互相議論:“你知道嗎?那個(gè)人身上有馬桶清潔劑的味道?!盬hen I told my friends in London that I was going to travel around Europe and write a book about it, they said, ”oh ,you must speak a lot of languages.”10當(dāng)我告訴倫敦的朋友,我將周游歐洲各地并將其寫(xiě)成書(shū)時(shí),他們說(shuō):“喔,你肯定會(huì)說(shuō)很多語(yǔ)言吧?!眛hey would look at me as if I were crazy. But thats the glory of foreign travel, as far as I am concerned. I dont want to know what people are talking about, I cant think of anything that excites a greater sense of childlike wonder than to be in country where you are ignorant of almost everything. Suddenly you are five years old again. You cant read anything, you have only the most rudimentary sense of how things work, you cant even reliably cross a street without endangering your life. Your whole existence becomes a series or interesting guesses.11 “為什么,我不會(huì),”我會(huì)帶著一點(diǎn)傲氣回答,“我只會(huì)英語(yǔ)?!比缓笏麄兙涂粗?,好像我瘋了。(此文來(lái)自袁勇兵博客)但是就我而言,那正是國(guó)外旅游的美妙之處。我并不想知道人們?cè)谡f(shuō)些什 么。置身于一個(gè)對(duì)你而言完全陌生的國(guó)家,能激發(fā)一種孩子般的好奇心。除此之外,我想不出還有什么更好的辦法。突然之間你又回到了五歲。你無(wú)法讀懂任何東西,你對(duì)事物運(yùn)行方式只有最基本的感知,你甚至無(wú)法安全地穿過(guò)馬路。你的整個(gè)存在變成了一系列有趣的猜想。I get great pleasure from watching foreign TV and trying to imagine what on earth is going on. On my first evening in Oslo I watched a science program in which two men in a studio stood at a lab table discussing a variety of sleek, rodent-like animals that were crawling over the surface and occasionally up the hosts jacket, “and you have sex with all these creatures, do you?” the host was saying.12 看國(guó)外電視節(jié)目,試著想象到底發(fā)生了什么事,這讓我樂(lè)此不疲。比如說(shuō),在奧斯陸 的第一個(gè)晚上,我收看一個(gè)科學(xué)節(jié)目,演播室里的兩個(gè)男子站在一張實(shí)驗(yàn)桌旁,討論著一種有著光滑皮毛的貌似嚙齒目的動(dòng)物,它們?cè)谧烂嫔吓佬?,偶爾爬上主持人的外套。主持人正在說(shuō):“那么你與所有這些動(dòng)物做愛(ài),是嗎? “certainly,” replied the guest,” you have to be careful with the porcupines, of course, and the lemmings get very neurotic and hurl themselves off cliffs if they feel you dont love them as you once did, basically these animals make very affectionate companions, and the sex is simply out of this world.”13 “當(dāng)然,”嘉賓回答道,“你必須對(duì)豪豬十分小心,當(dāng)然,旅鼠若是感覺(jué)你不再像以前 那樣愛(ài)它們,會(huì)變得焦躁不安并跳下懸崖,但總的來(lái)說(shuō),這些動(dòng)物是非常親切的伴侶, 并且性也是十分美妙的?!皐ell, I think thats wonderful. Next week well be looking at how you can make hallucinogenic drugs with simple household chemicals from your own medicine cabinet, but now its time for the screen to go black for a minute and then for the lights to come up suddenly on the host of the day looking as if he was just about to pick his nose. See you next week. ”14 “哎呀,我覺(jué)得那很棒。下周讓大家見(jiàn)識(shí)一下你是怎么用藥柜中的簡(jiǎn)單家庭用藥制造出致幻藥的。(此文來(lái)自袁勇兵博客)該讓熒幕空白幾分光突然亮起,然后讓燈光突然亮起,照在主持人身;讓他看起來(lái)似乎就像正要摳鼻子。下周見(jiàn)。”After Hammerfest, Oslo was simply wonderful. It was still cold and dusted with grayish snow, but it seemed positively tropical after Hammerfest, and I abandoned all thought of buying a furry hat. I went to the museums and for a day-long way out around the Bygdoy peninsula, where the citys finest houses stand on the wooded hillsides, with fetching views across the icy water of the harbour to the downtown. But mostly I hung around the city center, wandering back and forth between the railway station and the royal palace, peering in the store windows along Karl Johans Gate, the long and handsome main pedestrian street, cheered by the bright lights, mingling with the happy, healthy, relentlessly, youthful Norwegians, very pleased to be alive and out of Hammerfest and in a world of daylight. when I grew cold. I sat in cafs and bars and eavesdropped on conversations that I could not understand or brought out my Thomas Cook European Timetable and studies it with a kind of humble reverence, planning the rest of my trip.15 去過(guò)哈默菲斯特后,就貨得奧斯陸簡(jiǎn)直妙不可言。天氣依然很冷,到處還撒著灰蒙蒙 的雪花,但是比起哈默菲斯特來(lái)那可要暖和多了,這也讓我徹底放棄了想要買(mǎi)毛皮帽的想法。我參觀(guān)了博物館,并花了一天時(shí)間游覽巴度半島,那里叢林茂密的山坡上矗立著該城市最美的房子,其視野可跨越海港冰面一直延伸到市區(qū),十分迷人。但是大多數(shù)時(shí)間我就在市中心閑逛,在火車(chē)站和皇宮之間來(lái)回溜達(dá),在卡爾約翰街向街旁的商店櫥窗里張望。在路邊明亮的燈光的照耀下,長(zhǎng)長(zhǎng)的卡爾約翰步行街富麗堂皇, 與健康快樂(lè)、不屈不撓又充滿(mǎn)朝氣的挪威人融合在一起。我很高興能離開(kāi)哈莫斯菲特并來(lái)到這個(gè)充滿(mǎn)活力、猶如白晝的世界。當(dāng)我覺(jué)得寒意逼人時(shí),我便進(jìn)入咖啡館或酒吧坐下,偷聽(tīng)那些我無(wú)法明白的對(duì)話(huà),抑或拿出我的托馬斯庫(kù)克歐洲時(shí)刻表,滿(mǎn)懷敬意地加以研究,做接下來(lái)的旅行安排。Thomas Cook European Timetable is possibly the finest book ever produced. It is impossible to leaf through its 500 pages of densely printed timetables without wanting to dump a double armload of clothes into an old Gladstone and just take off. Every page whispers romance :“Montreux-Zweisimmen-Spiez-Interlaken”,“Beograd-Trieste-Venezia-Verona-Milano”,“Goteborg-Laxa-Hallsberg-Stockholm”,“Ventimiglia-Marseille-Lyon-Pairs”. who could recite these names without ex
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