GMAT作文模板與作文范文,極智批改網(wǎng)VIP

GMATGMAT作文模板與作文范文作文模板與作文范文 極智批改網(wǎng)極智批改網(wǎng) 專屬外教批改團隊經(jīng)過嚴格選拔與考核 所有批改外教對于官方批 改標準的膜拜和遵守超乎想像 極智批改網(wǎng) SMARTPIGAI 專家團隊深度分析破解官方指南 獨創(chuàng) 作文九步批改法 和 口語四步批改法 最大程度真實還原 了出題機構(gòu)的作文與口語批改過程 確保為用戶提供最專業(yè)的作文與口語批改服務(wù) 同時還為用戶提供 戶個性化的 24小時加急批改 和 范文重寫 等特色批改服務(wù) 關(guān)注極智批改網(wǎng) SMARTPIGAI 微博獲得最新備考信息 e weibo smartpigai關(guān)注極智批改網(wǎng) SMARTPIGAI 微信第一時間 互動答疑 微信號smartpigai批改過程The conclusionendorsed inthis argumentisthatthe cityof Heliosisagood placefor paniesto establisha newbusiness To justifythe claim the authorproves provides offers1severalpiecesofevidence Firstly the authorpoints outthat Helioshas alower unemploymentrate thanaverage In addition the authorreasons that it isan industrialcenter What sis2more the authoralso3assumesthatHeliosisalsoseekingpaniesinordertoexp anditseconomicbase As weglance overreview the argument the author sargument4is somewhatconvincing but furtherreflection revealsthatitomits somethingimportant thatshouldbeaddressed tosolidify thisconclusion5 Therefore the reasoninginthis argumentisproblematic inseveral respects First ofall the authorclaims ithasthere is6alow unemploymentrateinHelios 7whichmeansitisdifficulttofindenou gh labors8forthosenew fledgelesscorporations Even thoughthey findenoughlabors9 new paniesmay notafford thehigh costof laborshigh staffcosts because of thelessavailableworkforce In otherwords the10low unemploymentrate willincrease thecost anddecrease theprofits ofthe pany 1動詞形式不當2縮合錯誤3此處文字多余 可刪除4重復(fù)使用5T he statementis excessivelyvague be specific 6從句使用不當7標點錯誤8可數(shù)名詞錯誤9可數(shù)名詞錯誤10 冠詞錯誤Moreover the authorshows thatthecityof Heliosis theindustrialcenteroftheregion whichwill behelpless11tothedevelopmentofpaniesinnewareas Heliosisseek ing forcorporations thatfocus onresearch andtechnologies but ithas nofoundation inthose areas As weall know itishard difficultforapanytoestablishundersuchabackground For example almost allthe12labors13there areis14good atindustrial technologybecause itistheindustrialcenteroftheregion What ifnew paniese intothis city 15how couldthey findproper workforce toworkforthem evenif theunemploymentrateis low Last Finallybutnotthe16least another problemwith thisargumentisthatitsuffers froma falseanalogy betweenthe pastand the17future In orderto reachtheconclusion the authormust assumethat allthe situationsare entirelythe same In otherwords all otherfactors inthe pastshould stayremain stable However this cannotbe guaranteed It isequally possiblethat someofthekey factorshave alreadychanged orwill changeinthefuture Although thecity hasprovided lotsofmany jobsin historythepast18 it willnot offerso manyjobs whilenot offeras manyvacancies ifthe thepolicyischangedinthefuture To conclude thisargumentis notpersuasive asit standsbecauseofthe logicalflaws discussedabove Aordingly it shouldwouldbe muchmore prudentforthe author toclaim thatwhether thelowunemploymentrateisgood forthose corporationsor not In orderto11Be specific helpless is unclear 12冠詞錯誤13可數(shù)名詞錯誤14動詞形式不當15標點錯誤16 冠詞錯誤17冠詞錯誤18選詞不當makethisargumentlogicallyaeptab le theauthorwould haveto showthat19howtheindustrialcenterwill helpsthose paniesgrow up Also to furtherbolster theconclusion theauthorshould provideconcrete evidenceas wellto demonstratethattheanalogy intheargumentis appropriate Only withmore convincingevidence couldthisargumentsubstantiate thisconclusion 19連詞使用不當或缺失總評及分數(shù)You havedeveloped aposition on the issue The lineof reasoningis sound The referencesare appropriate Structurally theresponse is adequate Some ofyour explanationsneed furtherclarity and thereare some minor fluencyissues whichneed tobeaddressed The essaygenerally maintainsproper focusonthe issue andis logicallyorganized The levelof cohesionis generallygood with someminor instances where itcould beimproved There areinstanceswheresentences havenot beendeveloped clearly As aresult they createsomeminordifficulty whilereading thetext Word selectionand sentenceformation needfurther review The rangeof vocabularyisadequate Item ExplanationScore Full Score is5 Task Response任務(wù)完成情況Effectiveness indeveloping an argument to support your evaluation oftheissue 準確分析題目并有效地論證自己的自己的觀點4Organiz ationlogical andsound reasoning suitably supported 例子說服力很強且完全展開 論證具有邏輯性和說服力 并能適當?shù)厥褂美舆M行支持4Grammar語法Command ofthe elementsof StandardWritten English incl grammar word usage spelling and punctuation能運用標準的書面英語 包括語法 詞匯 拼寫及標點 3Holistic assessment整體評分Effectively articulateanddevelopanargumenttosupportyourevaluationofthei ssue cohesivelyand3fluently inthe presentationofthetext 有效提出并支持自己的觀點 表達流暢 前后一致Total Score GMAT FullScoreis6 4 5專業(yè)批改 極速提分 就上極智批改網(wǎng) SMARTP IGAI 極智批改網(wǎng) SMARTPIGAI 由專屬外教團隊依據(jù)各大考試官 方指南為用戶提供專業(yè)的作文批改和口語批改服務(wù) 專屬外教批改團隊經(jīng)過嚴格選拔與考核 所有批改外教對于官方批 改標準的膜拜和遵守