2024年11月稽陽聯(lián)考讀后續(xù)寫分析講義-高三上學期英語一輪復習專項

2024年11月稽陽聯(lián)考讀后續(xù)寫解析和范文閱讀下面材料，根據其內容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構成一篇完整的短文。Isat.Heglaredatme.“YoucangiveittomeorIcantakeit,yourchoice.Whatwillitbe?”Ipulledthepackageofhairribbonsoutofthepocketofmyjeans,handedittohimandbegged,“You’renotgoingtocallmydad,areyou?”“I’mcallingthepolice.Theywillcallyourfather.”MyheaddroppedontomyhandsandIsobbed,“No,please!Can’tyoujustletmego?Icanpayyou.Ihavemoneyinmypocket.I’monlyfourteenyearsold.Please,Iwon’tevershopliftagain!”“Saveyourtears.Theywon’tworkonme.I’msickofyoubadkidsstealing,justforthethrillofit.”微信公眾號ClassroomMissYanIsatthere,tremblinguncontrollably.Thepreviousexcitementbroughtbystealinglipstick,teenmagazineandallthatstuff...nowgavewaytoimmensefearandshame.Thepolicearrived,andthepolicemenwalkedmetotheirblackandwhitecarandopenedthebackdoor.Igotin,andtheydrovemethroughthemiddleofoursmalltown.IsloucheddownintotheseatsonoonecouldseemeasIlookedoutthewindowattheeveningsky.ThenIsawthesteeple(尖塔)ofmyfamily’schurch,andtheguiltpiercedmelikeadagger.“HowcouldIhavebeensostupid?I’vebrokenmyfather’sheart...andGod’s,”thoughtI.Wearrivedatthestation,andaroundwomanwithasquarefaceaskedmequestionsuntilIranoutofanswers.Shepointedtothedoorofalargeopencellandsaid,“Sit.Wait.”Iwalkedin,andmyfootstepsmadeanechothatbouncedoffthebars.ThetearsstartedagainasIsatdownonahardbenchandheardherdialthetelephoneandsay,“Ihaveyourdaughterinacellatthepolicestation.No,she’snothurt.Shewascaughtshopping.Canyoueandgether?Okay.You’rewele,goodbye.”Sheyelled,“Heykid,yourfather’sonhisway.”注意：1．續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應為150左右；2．請按如下格式在答題卡的相應位置作答。Aboutonehundredyearslater,Iheardhisvoicesaymyname.Afterwearrivedhome,Dadfinallyaskedme,“Why?”文本分析很多同學拿到文章就急著寫，就想可以用哪一些華麗的句式和詞匯，忽略了文章的背景和前提，常常文章情節(jié)就上下文不一致，這樣分數(shù)基本不高。10分出頭的樣子。所以一定要多花幾分鐘看文章。微信公眾號ClassroomMissYanIpulledthepackageofhairribbonsoutofthepocketofmyjeans,handedittohimandbegged,“You’renotgoingtocallmydad,areyou?”Thepreviousexcitementbroughtbystealinglipstick,teenmagazineandallthatstuff...nowgavewaytoimmensefearandshame.從上面兩句的文字可以看出主角的父親應該是對于女兒的偷竊行為是不知情的。而且主角之前還偷過一些唇膏，雜志，還有這次的發(fā)飾，偷這一些東西主要是為了刺激。IsloucheddownintotheseatsonoonecouldseemeasIlookedoutthewindowattheeveningsky.ThenIsawthesteeple(尖塔)ofmyfamily’schurch,andtheguiltpiercedmelikeadagger.微信公眾號ClassroomMissYan這邊點明了事情發(fā)生的時間是evening,而且這邊有出現(xiàn)church這個意向，可以很好的作為主角反省，自我改變的一個意象。具體可以參考O’Henry的《警察和贊美詩》的結局部分描寫（附在后面），可以參考一下。Shepointedtothedoorofalargeopencellandsaid,“Sit.Wait.”Iwalkedin,andmyfootstepsmadeanechothatbouncedoffthebars.這邊的cell是指牢房，bars是指牢房的鐵欄桿，主角是被關進了牢房。很多學生在這里理解錯誤了?！癐haveyourdaughterinacellatthepolicestation.No,she’snothurt.Shewascaughtshopping.Canyoueandgether?Okay.You’rewele,goodbye.”從“no,sheisnothurt”這句話看出來她的父親問的第一句話是“isshehurt?”所以這是一個關心女兒的父親，沒有第一時間責備女兒，而且馬上人就來警局也可以看出是關心在意女兒的好父親形象。有不少同學一上來就責備女兒，這就跟原文不一致了。但是女兒應該是覺得父親是要責備她的，這邊可以形成一個反差，進一步感化主角。總結：文章線索比較清晰，但是很多細節(jié)學生沒有注意，注意力都集中在描寫各種心理等，導致前后不一致，無效描寫。立意可能也會產生偏差或者過于膚淺。寫一寫，打個樣：Aboutonehundredyearslater,Iheardhisvoicesaymyname.Huddlingmyselfintheshadowofthecell,itriedtomakemyselfinvisible.Hemustbereallydisappointedandexasperateatme.Nevertheless,therewasnothingbutconcerninhisvoice.Asthesquarefacedofficeropenedthedoorofthecell,hescrutinizedmethoroughly,checkingifihadtheslightestinjury.Asuddenwaveofwarmthmingledwithinfiniteguiltyfloodedmyheart.Tearschokedallthewordsofexplanationandapology,soijustsilentlyfollowedmyfatheruntilhebailedmeoutandtookmeoutofpolicestation.Despitenumerousquestionsandwordsonbothofourminds,thewholeridebackhomewasinawkwardsilence.(113)微信公眾號ClassroomMissYanAfterwearrivedhome,Dadfinallyaskedme,“Why?” Withhistremblingvoicefilledwithselfblamebreakingtheice,icouldnothelpreflectingonhowigotwhereiwasdefinitelynotbecauseofmylackofmoneyorlove,itwasjustabitrebellionwhichcouldbringmeahintofthrill.However,nevercouldiimagineitcouldhavesuchseriousconsequence.Noexcusecouldcoverupthewrongihaddone.“Iamsorry,dad...imadeamistake.”Iconfessed.Thepunishmentithoughtitotallydeserveddidn’te.Instead,ireceivedawarmandforgivinghug.AsIlookedoutofthewindow,steepleofmyfamily’schurchrevealeditselfinthegentlemoonlight,settinguparesolutioninsidemethatiwasgoingtomakeabetterpersonofmyself.(128)參考范文Onepossibleversion:Aboutonehundredyearslater,Iheardhisvoicesaymyname.Itwassoft,yetfilledwithamixofdisappointmentandconcern.Thenthewomancalledmeuptothedeskatthreetimesthenecessaryvolume.IkeptmyeyesonthefloorasIwalkedtowardthem.Isawmydad’sshoes,butIdidn’tspeaktohimorlookathim.Hesignedsomepapersandwewereallowedtoleave.Theairwasdarkandcoldaswewalkedtothecarinheavysilence.Thenhewhisperedinasadandfarawayvoice,“Mydaughter...athief...”Imeltedintoregretfultears.Themileshomefeltlikeforever.微信公眾號ClassroomMissYanAfterwearrivedhome,Dadfinallyaskedme,“Why?”ItoldhimaboutthefirsttimeIstoleatubeoflipstickandhowIfeltequalamountsofthrillandguilt.Then,gradually,theguiltfadedasthethrillgrew.HottearsbitmyfaceasIsaid,“Pleaseforgiveme.I’llneverdoitagain.”DadrequiredmetomakealistofalltheplacesIstolefromandgotorepaytheowners.Thenextmorning,Ididexactlyasheasked.Itwasimpossiblyhard,butIdidit.Thankstohiscourage,Ineverstoleagain.歐亨利小說欣賞OnhisbenchinMadisonSquareSoapymoveduneasily,andherealizedthefactthatthetimehadeforhimtoprovideagainsttheingwinter.ThewinterambitionsofSoapywerenotofthehighest.InthemtherewerenodreamsofMediterraneanvoyagesorblueSouthernskies.ThreemonthsontheIslandwaswhathissouldesired.Threemonthsofassuredboardandbedandgoodpany,safefromnorthwindsseemedtoSoapythemostdesirablething.微信公眾號ClassroomMissYanJustasthemorefortunateNewYorkershadboughttheirticketstoPalmBeacheachwinter,SoapyhadmadehisarrangementsforhisannualjourneytotheIsland.Andnowthetimehade.ThereweremanyinstitutionsofcharityinNewYorkwherehemightreceivelodgingandfood,buttoSoapy’sproudspiritthegiftsofcharitywereundesirable.Youmustpayinhumiliationofspiritforeverythingreceivedatthehandsofmercy.Soitwasbettertobeaguestofthelaw.微信公眾號ClassroomMissYanSoapy,havingdecidedtogototheIsland,atoncesetaboutacplishinghisdesire.HelefthisbenchandwentupBroadway.Hestoppedatthedoorofaglitteringcafe.Hewasshavenandhiscoatwasdecent.Ifhecouldreachatableintherestaurant,theportionofhimthatwouldshowabovethetablewouldraisenodoubtinthewaiter’smind.Aroastedduck,withabottleofwine,acigarandacupofcoffeewouldbeenough.Suchadinnerwouldmakehimhappy,forthejourneytohiswinterrefuge.ButasSoapyenteredtherestaurantdoor,theheadwaiter’seyefelluponhisshabbytrousersandoldshoes.Stronghandspushedhiminsilenceandhasteoutintothestreet.Someotherwayofenteringthedesirablerefugemustbefound.AtacornerofSixthAvenueSoapytookastoneandsentitthroughtheglassofaglitteringshopwindow.Peoplecamerunningaroundthecorner,apolicemanattheheadofthem.Soapystoodstill,withhishandsinhispockets,andsmiledatthesightofthepoliceman.“Whereisthemanthathasdonethat?”askedthepoliceman.“Don’tyouthinkthatIhavehadsomethingtodowithit?”saidSoapy,friendly.ThepolicemanpaidnoattentiontoSoapy.Menwhobreakwindowsdon’tremaintospeakwithpolicemen.Theyrunaway.Hesawamanrunningandrushedafterhim,stickinhand.Soapy,disgusted,walkedalong,twiceunsuccessful.微信公眾號ClassroomMissYanOntheoppositesideofthestreetwasarestaurantforpeoplewithlargeappetitesandmodestpurses.Soapyenteredthisplacewithoutdifficulty.Hesatatatableandatebeefsteakandpie.Andthenhetoldthewaiterhehadnomoney.“Goandcallacop,”saidSoapy.“Anddon’tkeepagentlemanwaiting.”“Nocopforyou,”saidthewaiter.“Hey!”ThenSoapyfoundhimselflyinguponhisleftearonthepavement.Herosewithdifficulty,andbeatthedustfromhisclothes.Arrestseemedarosydream.TheIslandseemedfaraway.Afteranotherunsuccessfulattempttobearrestedforharassingayoungwoman,Soapywentfurthertowardthedistrictoftheatres.微信公眾號ClassroomMissYanWhenhesawapolicemanstandinginfrontofaglitteringtheatre,hethoughtof“disorderlyconduct”.OnthesidewalkSoapybegantosingdrunkensongsatthetopofhisvoice.Hedanced,cried,andotherwisedisturbedthepeace.ThepolicemanturnedhisbacktoSoapy,andsaidtoacitizen,“ItisoneoftheYaleboyscelebratingtheirfootballvictory.Noisy,butnoharm.”微信公眾號ClassroomMissYanSadly,Soapystoppedhisuselesssinginganddancing.TheIslandseemedunattainable.Hebuttonedhisthincoatagainstthenorthwind.Inacigarstorehesawawelldressedmanwhohadsethissilkumbrellabythedoor.Soapyenteredthestore,tooktheumbrella,andwentoutwithitslowly.Themanwiththecigarfollowedhastily.“Myumbrella,”hesaid.“Oh,isit?”saidSoapy.“Well,whydon’tyoucallapoliceman?Itookyourumbrella!Whydon’tyoucallacop?Therestandsoneonthecorner.”Theumbrellaownerslowedhissteps.Soapydidlikewise.Thepolicemanlookedatthemcuriously.“Ofcourse,”saidtheumbrellaman,“well,youknowhowthesemistakesoccur…ifit’syourumbrellaIhopeyou’llexcuseme–Ipickeditupthismorninginarestaurant–ifit’syours,Ihopeyou’ll…”“Ofcourseit’smine,”saidSoapy.微信公眾號ClassroomMissYanTheexumbrellamanretreated.Thepolicemanhurriedtohelpawelldressedwomanacrossthestreet.Soapythrewtheumbrellaangrily.Hewasangrywiththemenwhowearhelmetsandcarryclubs.Theyseemedtoregardhimasakingwhocoulddonowrong.AtlastSoapystoppedbeforeanoldchurchona