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讀后續(xù)做習寫作講義

Thehusbandwhovanished

Step1感知?閱讀導航

話題導入

Jim與Anne于1960年結(jié)婚,住在紐約郊區(qū)拉奇蒙特,他們雖然沒有孩子但

生活甜蜜。在1971年的某一個月,Jim連續(xù)遇到了幾個小意外,腦部受傷,后

突然失憶且失蹤。之后,Anne一邊外出工作維持生計,一邊堅定地等待他回來。

Jim失憶后陰差陽錯到了費城市區(qū),換了名字,開始了沒有過去的生活。1985

年,Jim又連續(xù)遇到了幾個小意外,竟然恢復了記憶?;謴陀洃浐蟮腏im會回到

Anne身邊嗎?Anne還在堅定地等待他嗎?

本文改編自一篇短篇小說,全文共519詞,建議用時8分鐘。

閱讀目標

1.把握故事的梗概和主要情節(jié)。

2.體會故事主人公之間恒久的愛及愛的力量。

3.模仿故事語言風格,合理構思情節(jié),展開讀后續(xù)寫,培養(yǎng)想象能力。

讀前預熱

I.Videotime

Haveyoueverheardthesongweplayedjustnow?Canyouuseonewordto

summarizetheapparentthemeandthehiddenthemeofthesong?

II.Discussion

Haveyoueverwaitedforsomeone?Howlongdidyouwaitandhowdidyou

feel?Andwhatifyouwait14yearsforsomeone?

1TheMcDonnell'slivedinasmallbrickhouseinLarchmont,asuburbofNew

YorkCity.Jimwastheforemanofmailcarriersatthepostoffice.Marriedin1960,

heandAnnewerechildless.

2Ontheeveningoftheeleventhanniversaryoftheirmarriage,carryingout

thegarbage,JimMcDonnellslippedonicysteps,andstruckhishead.Afewdays

later,drivingtowork,helostcontrolofthecar,hitatelephonepole,and

bangedhisforeheadagainstthewindshield.Thefollowingdayhefelloffthestairs

andbangedhishead.Foundunconscious,hewashospitalizedforthreedayswitha

cerebralconcussion(腦震蕩).Onedayinthesamemonth,Jimborroweda

friendsstationwagonanddrovetoKennedyAirporttopickupAnne'sbrotherand

family,unawarethatthewalletcontaininghisidentificationhadslippedoutofhis

pocketontothefloorofthecar.Afterreturningthecar,hewasneverseenagain.

3Forweeks,Annewalkedthehousewringingherhandsandpraying.Atnight,

watchingtelevision,shewouldstareatthearmchairwhereJimhaddozedoff

evenings.Sheoftendreamedhehadcomehome,onlytowakeupandfindhe

wasn/tthere.

4AfterJimsdisappearance,toearnaliving,Annetriedvariouskindsofjobs;

in1977,shetookhercurrentjobasanursingattendant.Annefellintothehabitof

workingatthehospitalonholidaysbecauseitwaseasierifshekeptbusy.Through

itall,shehadfaiththatJimwouldreturn.Shekepthisclothesintheclosetcovered

toprotectthemfromdust.Hisrazorandcanofshavingcreamremainedinthe

bathroomcabinet.

5SowhatreallyhappenedtoAnne/shusband?Duringhiswalkhome,Jim

hadindeedblackedout,losingallabilitytorememberwhohewasandwherehe

lived.Whathappenedthenisunclear.Thenextthingheknewwasthathewasin

downtownPhiladelphia.SeeingsignsadvertisingtheservicesofaJamesPeters,

arealestatebroker,JimadoptedJamesPetersashisownname.Hehadno

past;hisonlyrealitywasthepresent.JamesPetersgotaSocialSecuritycard,

whichcouldbeobtainedatthattimewithoutshowingabirthcertificate,andtook

ajobinahealthclub.HealsogotanightshiftjobattheP&Pluncheonette,where

hebecamewellknownforhisomelets(煎蛋卷),aswellashiskindnessandgood

humor.

6BernadineGolashovsky,awaitressatP&P,recalls,/zMyfatherhaddied

andJimapparentlyhadnofamily,soafterhestartedatP&Pweadoptedeach

other.Hebecamemyfatherfigure,andwe—myhusband,Pete,ourfour

childrenandI—werehisfamily.Thechildrenlovedhim.”

7InDecember,1985,awomanappearedinhisdreamagainandagain.On

December22,1985,Jimhadfallenandbangedhishead.Thenextdayhehad

fallenagain,strikinghishead.OnDecember24,heawokefeelingconfused,yet

excited.Afteralmost15years,heknewwhohewas!

Step2理解.文本解讀

I.Storymountain

[Climax:3][Resolution:][Buildup:2][Beginning:1]

A.JimbangedhisheadseveraltimesanddisappearedandthenAnnestarted

workingwiththefaiththathewouldcomeback.

B.Jimsuddenlyrecoveredhismemory.

C.JimandAnnemarriedandlivedinLarchmontinNewYorkCity.

II.Jimscharacter

[CluesinthetextPossiblecharacteristics...carryingoutthegarbage

1....hebecamewellknownforhisomelets,aswellashiskindnessand

goodhumour.2....we—myhusband,Pete,ourfourchildrenand

I—werehisfamily.Thechildrenlovedhim.3.]

III.Deepreading

1.DoyouthinkJimlovesAnnedeeply?Useevidencefromthestoryto

supportyouropinion.

2.DoyouthinkAnnelovesJimdeeply?Useevidencefromthestoryto

supportyouropinion.

3.WhydidnobodyknowJimspast?

Step3運用?讀寫整合

I.Predicttheplots

1.WhatwouldJimthinkanddoafterherecoveredhismemory?

2.DoyouthinkAnneisstillwaitingforJim?

3.WhatwouldhappenifJimandAnnemeeteachotheragain?

II.Explorethetheme

Whatcouldbethepossiblethemeofthestory?

III.Continuationwriting

請根據(jù)已給出的小說情節(jié)、語言特點及所給段落開頭語,續(xù)寫兩段,使之構

成一篇完整的小說。詞數(shù)應為150左右。

Paragraph1:

Suddenly,hebecamescared.

Paragraph2:

AnnehadjustreturnedhomefromChristmasMass,whereshelitcandlesand

prayedforJim.

Step4提升?素養(yǎng)建構

Writingtechniques

1.敘述(narrativewriting)VS描寫(descriptivewriting)

敘述和描寫是記敘文和故事中的兩種常用寫作方式。敘述是指將事情的經(jīng)過

記錄下來,一般采用時間順序或事情發(fā)展順序。在時空轉(zhuǎn)換較多,或為加快敘

事節(jié)奏時,宜使用敘述。描寫是把人物或景物的狀態(tài)具體形象地描繪出來,往

往借助感官,如聽覺、視覺、嗅覺等。在需要突出某個特定場景讓主人公留下

深刻印象時,宜使用描寫。敘述就如全景圖,而描寫就如近景圖,故事寫作中

往往會將兩者結(jié)合使用。在本故事中,故事原文時間跨度較大,多采用敘述;在

讀后續(xù)寫環(huán)節(jié)展現(xiàn)Jim與Anne相見時的情景時,宜使用描寫,讓故事更具畫面

感和沖擊力。

原文最后一段:InDecember,1985,awomanappearedinhisdreamagain

andagain.OnDecember22,1985,Jimhadfallenandbangedhishead.Thenext

dayhehadfallenagain,strikinghishead.OnDecember24,heawokefeeling

confused,yetexcited.

此處需快速交代Jim在一個月內(nèi)的幾次經(jīng)歷,故采用敘述。

讀后續(xù)寫部分的第二段,可使用描寫展現(xiàn)_,仙與Anne相見時的動人場景:

Anneopenedthedoor—therestoodamanwithawhitebeard.Immediatelyshe

recognizedhim.Wordsfailedher.HHello,Anne,"Jimsaid.Tohim,Annelooked

alittleolderbutprettier.Annestrokedhisface,tearsstreamingdownherface.

Thentheythrewthemselvesintoeachothersarms.Christmasbellwasringing,as

ifbringingthebestwishestothishappycouple.

本段融合了多種描寫方式,讓讀者感受到兩人久別重逢后的激動和喜悅,具

有較強的感染力。

2.展示而非講述(toshowratherthantotell)

以下方式能夠有效地直接或間接刻畫人物,突出某個場景。

a.感官描寫

借助感官描寫,如聽覺、視覺、嗅覺、味覺、觸覺等,能創(chuàng)造出身臨其境之

感。

b.多維描寫

刻畫人物、烘托場景時可采用動作描寫、語言描寫、神態(tài)描寫、外貌描寫、

心理描寫等多維描寫方式展現(xiàn)立體的人物形象或場景。

如讀后續(xù)寫部分第二段:Anneopenedthedoor—therestoodamanwitha

whitebeard.Immediatelysherecognizedhim.Wordsfailedher."Hello,Anne,"

Jimsaid.Tohim,Annelookedalittleolderbutprettier.Annestrokedhisface,

tearsstreamingdownherface.Thentheythrewthemselvesintoeachothersarms.

Christmasbellwasringing,asifbringingthebestwishestothishappycouple.

本段結(jié)合了動作描寫、語言描寫、外貌描寫、心理描寫、神態(tài)描寫、環(huán)境描

寫,讓讀者感受到夫妻之間的深情和重逢后的喜悅。

c.側(cè)面描寫

刻畫人物時可使用一些細節(jié)或例子展現(xiàn)人物性格特點。本文通過側(cè)面描寫很

好地體現(xiàn)了夫妻之間忠貞的愛。

原文中并沒有直接說明Anne對Jim的愛,但我們可以從以下兩個段落中深

刻地感受到:

Forweeks,Annewalkedthehousewringingherhandsandpraying.Atnight,

watchingtelevision,shewouldstareatthearmchairwhereJimhaddozedoff

evenings.Sheoftendreamedhehadcomehome,onlytowakeupandfindhe

wasn/tthere.

...Throughitall,shehadfaiththatJimwouldreturn.Shekepthisclothesinthe

closetcoveredtoprotectthemfromdust.Hisrazorandcanofshavingcream

remainedinthebathroomcabinet.

這兩段通過描寫Jim剛失蹤不久后Anne失魂落魄的樣子,以及Anne堅信Jim

會回來,在家里保留著Jim的衣物,很好地表現(xiàn)了Anne對Jim的愛。

Jim對Anne的愛可從原文最后一段第一句"InDecember,1985,awoman

appearedinhisdreamagainandagain."看出,失憶多年,妻子Anne突然出現(xiàn)在

Jim夢里,這足以體現(xiàn)Anne在他心中的地位。

答案

Step2理解.文本解讀

1.1?3CAB

II.1.considerateandhelpful2.kindandhumorous3.easygoingand

respectable

III.

1.Yes,JimlovesAnne.Firstly,theyspentthe11thanniversarytogether.

Secondly,AnnestartedworkingafterJimdisappearedtoearnaliving,which

indicatesAnnedependedonJimbeforehedisappeared.Thirdly,Jimdreamedof

Anne14yearsafterhelosthismemory.

2.Yes.Inthebeginning,itwashardforAnnetoacceptthefactthatJim

disappeared.Later,shefellintothehabitofworkingatthehospitalonholidays

becauseitwaseasierifshekeptbusy.Throughitall,shehadfaiththatJimwould

return.Shekepthisclothesintheclosetcoveredtoprotectthemfromdust.His

razorandcanofshavingcreamremainedinthebathroomcabinet.

3.BecausehelostallhisidentificationandadoptedJamesPetersashisname.

What/smore,helosthismemory.

Step3運用?讀寫整合

I.

1.HewouldbenervousandwanttoknowifAnnewasstillwaitingforhim.Also,

hewouldhurryhometoseeAnne.

2.Yes,AnnelovesJimdeeply.ShehadthefaiththatJimwouldcomeback.

3.Theywouldhugeachotherandcrytearsofjoy.

II.

ThestoryshowshowJimlosesandrecovershismemory.Throughoutthestory,

wecanalsofindsomecluesthatindicatedeeplovebetweenthecouple.Sothe

logicalendingshouldbereuni

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