高考英語人教版一輪復習課件寫作板塊四Part2典例示范2

寫作專項高分升級案Part2典例示范英語2022閱讀下面短文,根據(jù)其內容寫一篇60詞左右的內容概要。(2019年6月浙江高考)Parentseverywherepraisetheirkids.JennBerman,authorofThe

A

to

Z

Guide

to

Raising

Happy

and

Confident

Kids,says,“We’vegonetotheoppositeextremeofafewdecadesagowhenparentstendedtobemorestrict.”Bygivingkidsalotofpraise,parentsthinkthey’rebuildingtheirchildren’sconfidence,when,infact,itmaybejusttheopposite.Toomuchpraisecanbackfireand,whengiveninawaythat’sinsincere,makekidsafraidtotrynewthingsortakeariskforfearofnotbeingabletostayontopwheretheirparents’praisehasputthem.Still,don’tgotoofarintheotherdirection.Notgivingenoughpraisecanbejustasdamagingasgivingtoomuch.Kidswillfeellikethey’renotgoodenoughorthatyoudon’tcareand,asaresult,mayseenopointintryinghardfortheiraccomplishments.Sowhatistherightamountofpraise?Expertssaythatthequalityofpraiseismoreimportantthanthequantity.Ifpraiseissincereandfocusedontheeffortnottheoutcome,youcangiveitasoftenasyourchilddoessomethingthatdeservesaverbalreward.“Weshouldespeciallyrecognizeourchildren’seffortstopushthemselvesandworkhardtoachieveagoal,”saysDonahue,authorofParenting

without

Fear:Letting

Go

of

Worry

and

Focusing

on

What

Really

Matters.“Onethingtorememberisthatit’stheprocessnottheendproductthatmatters.”Yoursonmaynotbethebestbasketballplayeronhisteam.Butifhe’soutthereeverydayandplayinghard,youshouldpraisehiseffortregardlessofwhetherhisteamwinsorloses.Praisingtheeffortandnottheoutcomecanalsomeanrecognizingyourchildwhenshehasworkedhardtocleantheyard,cookdinner,orfinishabookreport.Butwhateveritis,praiseshouldbegivenonacase-by-casebasisandbeproportionate(相稱的)totheamountofeffortyourchildhasputintoit.【語篇解讀】這是2019年6月浙江高考真題的概要寫作,語篇文體為議論文,主要論述了父母過多地表揚孩子或者幾乎不表揚孩子都會給孩子帶來不良的影響。是否對孩子進行表揚,關鍵看孩子努力的過程而非結果,父母應該視其每一次努力的情況給予恰當?shù)谋頁P。全文共4段,語篇結構簡單清晰,主旨句明顯。每一段就是一個意義段,因此確定需歸納的要點應該為4個。下面我們分段落剖析。第一段:第一句首先揭示現(xiàn)狀:父母隨時隨地表揚孩子。第二句通過引用作家Jenn

Berman的話來表達對父母無時無刻表揚孩子的觀點加以評論,其意思是:幾十年前,父母對孩子要求過于嚴格,而今天我們走向了另一個極端。第三句說,父母認為多表揚孩子能培養(yǎng)他們的自信心,但事實上可能事與愿違。這是一個總結性的結論,是本段的主旨句。第四句作者再次強調自己的觀點:過多不誠懇的表揚會讓孩子害怕自己的表現(xiàn)不能達到父母的期望,從而不敢冒險嘗試新鮮事物。第二段:第一句強調不要走向另一個極端。第二句是主旨句,點明另一個極端:不肯表揚孩子,這和過多的表揚同樣會產(chǎn)生不良影響。第三句說明不良影響的具體表現(xiàn):孩子們會感覺自己做得不夠好,或者你根本不在乎,這樣,他們會感覺為了取得好的成績去付出努力也沒有什么意義。第三段:第一句首先提出疑問:怎樣給予表揚才是合適的呢?然后借助于專家的觀點:表揚的質量比數(shù)量更重要。這是本段的主旨句。第三句進一步闡述該觀點:假如表揚是虔誠的,關注孩子的努力而不是結果,那么,可以在孩子做了值得表揚的事情時及時口頭表揚。最后引用Donahue的話,強調父母應該看重孩子努力的過程,而非結果。第四段:前兩句提出:你兒子也許不是籃球隊里面最好的運動員,但是假如他每天都在外面努力打球,那么,不管他的球隊輸了還是贏了比賽,你都應該表揚他的付出。第三句指出,表揚努力的過程而不是結果也意味著當他們努力清掃庭院、做飯或完成讀書報告時,你也要認可他們的努力。最后一句是本段主旨句,總結作者觀點:表揚應該視情況而定,你的表揚應該與孩子們付出的努力相符合?！緦懽魉悸贰扛乓獙懽髯钣行У霓k法就是提煉主旨句,刪除細節(jié),用簡明、精練的語言對主旨句進行替換加工,然后使用語句間的連接成分,使之成為一篇結構緊湊,完全使用了自己的語言的內容概要。通過對語篇的分析,我們刪除了短文中的細節(jié)、例證等細枝末節(jié),確定了每段的主旨句,要點已經(jīng)明確。下面就要用自己的語言準確地轉述各段的要點。為避免和原文的句子重復,我們要使用詞匯替換、詞性改變、轉換句式等各種形式,對原文要點進行轉述表達。第一段主旨句Bygivingkidsalotofpraise,parentsthinkthey’rebuildingtheirchildren’sconfidence,when,infact,itmaybejusttheopposite.(段中)要點變式表達①Parentsbelievethatpraisingcanhelpcreatechildren’sconfidencewhiletoomuchpraisemayresultinoppositeeffects.(改變句子表達方式;用believe代替think;create替換build;toomuch替換alotof;改變opposite詞性)②Nowadays,parentstendtooffertoomuchpraisetotheirchildren,hopingtoboosttheirconfidence,butitmayproducetheoppositeeffect.(運用tendtooffer替代bygiving介詞短語;用boost替代build;運用非謂語動詞hoping...,語言簡練;用producetheoppositeeffect改變opposite詞性)第二段主旨句Notgivingenoughpraisecanbejustasdamagingasgivingtoomuch.(段中)要點變式表達①Kidsmayfeeldiscouragedwhennotgivenenoughpraise.(改變句式,用“連詞+非謂語動詞”,語言簡練;用feeldiscouraged替換bejustasdamagingas;用notgiven替代notgiving,更加靈活)②However,lackingpraisealsodoesharmtothechildren.(改變句式,語言簡練;用lack替換notgivingenough;用doesharmto替換bedamaging)③However,praisingthemtoolittlecanbeharmfulaswell.(改變句式,改變praise的詞性;用toolittle替換notenough;用harmful替代damaging)第三段主旨句Expertssaythatthequalityofpraiseismoreimportantthanthequantity.(段中)要點變式表達①Accordingtoexperts,itisthequalityofpraiseratherthanquantitythatmatters,andparentsshouldfocusonefforts.(運用了增分句式itis...ratherthan...thatmatters,句式升級;用accordingtoexperts替換expertssay)②Therefore,expertsclaimthatpraiseshouldbegivenfortheprocessnottheresult.(用高級詞匯claim代替say;用process表達quantity的含義;用result代替quality的含義)第四段主旨句Butwhateveritis,praiseshouldbegivenonacase-by-casebasisandbeproportionate(相稱的)totheamountofeffortyourchildhasputintoit.(段尾)要點變式表達①Praiseoffersrecognition,butparentsareexpectedtopraisekidsonareasonablebasisinaccordancewithkids’amountofefforts.(刪除細節(jié),改變句式;用areasonablebasis替換acase-by-casebasis;用inaccordancewith替換proportionate)②Meanwhile,kidsdodeservepraiseiftheystrivetodotheirdutybuttheamountofpraiseshoulddependonhowhardtheywork.(改變句式結構;巧用銜接詞meanwhile;用deserve替換shouldbegiven,用高級詞匯strive替換theamountofeffort,語言精練)③Theyaresupposedtogivepraiseaccordingtohowmuchefforttheirkidshavemadetodothejob.(高度概括;用besupposedto替換should;運用定語從句)【范文欣賞1】Parentsbelievethatpraisingcanhelpcreatechildren’sconfidencewhiletoomuchpraisemayresultinoppositeeffects.(要點1)Kidsmayfeeldiscouragedwhennotgivenenoughpraise.(要點2)Accordingtoexperts,itisthequalityofpraiseratherthanquantitythatmatters,andparentsshouldfocusonefforts.(要點3)Praiseoffersrecognition,butparentsareexpectedtopraisekidsonareasonablebasisinaccordancewithkids’amountofefforts.(要點4)【范文欣賞2】Nowadays,parentstendtooffertoomuchpraisetotheirchildren,hopingtoboosttheirconfidence,butitmayproducetheoppositeeffect.(要點1)However,lackingpraisealsodoesharmtothechildren.(要點2)Therefore,expertsclaimthatpraiseshouldbegivenfortheprocessnottheresult.(要點3)Meanwhile,kidsdodeservepraiseiftheystrivetodotheirdutybuttheamountofpraiseshoulddependonhowhardtheywork.(要點4)【簡要點評】這兩篇概要對原文理解都很準確,完全包括原文中的四個要點,結構清晰,一目了然。兩篇文章都準確地運用了連接成分,如:accordingtoexper