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讀后續(xù)寫原題目呈現(xiàn):Forcourage,myfingersclungtotheharness(背帶、保護(hù)帶)onCho'sbroadbackaswepassedthefenceofmyneighborMr.Groll'syard.WalkingbyMr.Groll'syardisthebestpartofourmorningwalk,andalsotheworst.Itisthebestpartbecausetherosestalktous.“Goodmorning,Cho,”whispertherosescentstomyguidedog'snose.Otherrosesshouttome,“Hello,Mai!”Nowcomestheworstpart:Mr.Groll.Asusual,friendlyChthumpshertail.ButCh6isjustadog;howcansheknowthatthisneighbordoesnotlikemeatall?“Hello,Mr.Groll.”IgreetedhimasIdideverymorning.Andlikeeveryothermorning,hedidnotanswerme.ButIknewhewasthere,watching,behindhisfence.Healwayssoundsoutofbreath.andthecreakygateswingsnervouslyinhishand.Maybehe'safraidofmebecauseI'mblind.Disabilitiesdoscaregrown-upssometimes.ThenIremembered:theotherdayIheardhimplayingcheckers(西洋跳棋)withmyfriendJimmy,who'sinawheelchair.Ch6andImarchedon,andmythoughtskeptstep.WhydidMr.Grollignoreme?It'samysterytome.Papahastoldmethatsomefolksdonotlikepeoplefromfarawayplaces.Doesthissolvethemystery?MaybeMr.Grolldoesnotlikeneighborsfromfarawayplaces.No,thatcan'tbeit.EverySaturdayMr.Grollandmybigbrother,Lien,helpeachotherwithyardwork.Theyarefriends.Well,then,Iwondered,whywouldn’thetalktome?Thetoeofmyshoescuffedthesidewalk.andIthink,maybehedidn'tlikemebecauseI'magirl.Thesidewalkhummedbeneathmyfeet.Askateboardzoomedby.“Hello,MaiandCho!”myfriendJanayelled.“Hi,Mr.Groll”Iwaited.IfMr.GrollignoredJana,thenthemysterywassolved.Buthisvoicecalledout,“Hello,Jana!”Paragraph1:Thesoundofittwistedmyheart.Paragraph2:“ItisCh6thatscaresmywordsaway.”hereplied.文本分析:五要素分析:Who--I;Ch6mydog;MrGroll;JanaWhere--byMr.Groll'syardWhen--inthemorningWhy--Iwondered,whywouldn'thetalktome?Iwantedtomakeitclear.What--“HelloMr.Groll.’IgreetedhimasIdideverymorning.Andlikeeveryothermorning,hedidnotanswerme.Mainidea這篇文章主要講述了一個(gè)盲人女孩Mai(我)和導(dǎo)盲犬Ch6在早晨散步時(shí)經(jīng)過(guò)鄰居Mr.Groll的院子,描述了我與Ch的友好互動(dòng)以及與Mr.Groll之間的沉默和隔閡。我每天都會(huì)向Mr.Groll打招呼,但他總是不回應(yīng),讓我感到困惑。我覺得可能的原因,可能因?yàn)樽约旱囊曈X障礙、或者因?yàn)槲襾?lái)自遠(yuǎn)方,甚至可能是因?yàn)槲沂桥ⅲ惨灰慌懦?。這時(shí),剛好朋友賈娜看到了鄰居Mr.Groll,并打招呼。我在觀察,如果格羅爾先生無(wú)視賈娜,那么這個(gè)謎團(tuán)將被揭示然而,格羅爾先生卻回應(yīng)了賈娜。故事情節(jié)發(fā)展線:1.Forcourage,myfingersclungtotheharness(背帶、保護(hù)帶)onCho'sbroadbackaswepassedthefenceofmyneighborMr.Groll'syard.(happy)2.“Hello.Mr.Groll.’IgreetedhimasIdideverymorning.Andlikeeveryothermorning,hedidnotanswerme.(polite)3.Thetoeofmyshoescuffedthesidewalk,andIthink,maybehedidn’tlikemebecauseI'magirl.(worriedandsad)4.Buthisvoicecalledout,“Hello.Jana!”5.續(xù)寫第一段:Thesoundofittwistedmyheart.續(xù)寫第二段:ItisChothatscaresmywordsaway.’hereplied.沖突和矛盾:沖突1greetedhimvsdidnotanswermeBlind?girl?unsure?沖突2responsedtoJanavsignoredmetwistedmyheart.主題:Mai嘗試與MrGroll打招呼,但后者始終保持沉默,形成了一種隔閡。Mai通過(guò)自己的內(nèi)心獨(dú)白思考可能的原因,包括自身的視覺障礙、身份和性別,突顯了人與人之間因差異而產(chǎn)生的困擾。整個(gè)故事呈現(xiàn)了一種對(duì)于溝通、理解和克服障礙的渴望和努力。TheStruggleforConnectionAmidstSilenceandDifferences.構(gòu)建續(xù)寫框架:Paragraph1:Thesoundofittwistedmyhear1.WhatdidIfeelafterIheardhisresponse?(情緒+心理描寫銜接1(事件+心理活動(dòng))2.WhatdidIdothen?andhowaboutCho(3.WhatquestiondidIaskhim?(狀態(tài)+心理活動(dòng))銜接2Paragraph2:*ItisChothatscaresmywordsaway.”hereplied.過(guò)渡1(小情節(jié)構(gòu)建)1.HowdidIfeelwhenIheardMrGrollsanswer?(情緒+心理描寫銜接32.WhatwouldIdo?(動(dòng)作+心理描寫3.Ending---WhatdidIrealizeafterthisevent?過(guò)渡2(小情節(jié)構(gòu)建)感悟+主題升華【參考范文】Thesoundofittwistedmyheart.NowIunderstoodsomethingIdidn’tknowbefore:unfriendlyMr.GrolllikesJimmy.AndLien.AndJana.ButnotmeandChó...NotMeandChó!Anideabrightenedmymystery.ButIshouldknowwhyMr.Grolldidn’ttalktome!Repulsedbyconfusion,aswellasirritation,Ifeltmywayalongthefencetoapproachmyneighbour.Thegatesqueakedopen.“Mai!Becareful!”Mr.Groll’sstartledvoicesteadiedmycouragewhilehishandsteadiedmyelbow.“Youcanpleasesolvemymystery,”Istammered.“IsitbecauseI’mblindthatyoudon’tlikeme?OrbecauseIamagirlfromafarawayland?”“ItisChothatscaresmywordsaway.”hereplied.
“Ilikeyou,justasIlikeLien,andJana,”hesoundedbreathless,maybebecauseofanxietyoreagerness.“Butyouknow,Iamjustafraidofyourdog.”hecontinued.Hisearnestexplanationmadeeverythingcometolight.“Comewithme.”Itoldhim,“MakeacquaintancewithChó.”IledhimtoChó,andtoldMr.GrollhowgentleChówas.ThenItookMr.Groll’shandinmineandguidedittoCho’shead.Hesitantly,Mr.GrollstrokedCho’sears.FriendlyChóthumpedhertail.Andnowthatthemysterywassolved,ournewfriendshipcouldbegin.下水文:Paragraph1:Thesoundofittwistedmyheart.Mr.Groll'ssilencewasaweighthungintheair,heavierthanthemorningdewontheroses.Cho'stailthumpedcheerfully,oblivioustothetension.Igrippedherharnesstighter,myfingersseekingreassuranceinthefamiliarleatherstraps.Therose-scentedwhispersseemedtofade.drownedbytheunspokenmystery.Idecidedtofindoutthereason,andaskedMr.Groll.“wouldyoupleasetellmeifitwasmyblindnessthatkeptyousilent?”hereplied.Paragraph2:"ItisChothatscaresmywordsawayturned,startled.Mr.Groll.Theadmissioncameunexpectedly,breakingtheoppressivesilence.Istoodthere,hisfacesoftenedbyvulnerability.Hisbreathswerestilluneasy,buthis"I'veneverbeengoodwithdogs,especiallybigones.Theyintimidategazemetmine
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