新高考背景下的作文講評(píng)課名師公開(kāi)課課件

writingForClass16,SeniorThreeSixstepsforthewritingpractice:

Howtogetonwithourparents

Step1:examinethetopicStyle:______________________________________

tense:______________person:_______________Paragraphs:Paragraph1:Paragraph2:Paragraph3:議論文（ArgumentativeWriting）

presentfirstthecommonproblem:parentscareforeverythinghowparentscareforeverythignofusthewaytosolvetheproblemStep2:listthemainpoints

thesameproblemcareforeverythingmakethegenerationgapdeeperworryabouteverythingmakeusgrowuphealthilyandlivehappilymoreunderstandingbetween…Step4&5:connectthesentencesandmakesomeappolishment.Step6:Copyitoutcarefullyandclearly.

Proofreading(findout5errors)

Ourparentsconcernabouteverythingthatwehavedone,whichmakeusannoyed.Theyalwaysworryabouteverythingandeverybody,suchasourstudy,entertainmentandfriends.Asisoftenthecase,theysometimeslookourdiarywithoutourpermit.“It’sgoodforyou.”explaintheyeverytimeweaskthemwhy.Childrenasweare,therearesomebasicpersonalrights,whichshouldbeprotected.Howtogetonwellwithourparents?It’saproblem.However,thereisnoreasonforustobeagainsttoourparentsjustbecauseofit.Onlywhenwetryourbesttocommunicatewiththemcanwemakeeachofusunderstand.It’syoursincerityandpatiencecancalltheirrespectonyou.Whynothaveatry?_______makes_____read___________permission＼∧thatSuggestionsformakingourwritingoutstanding:advancedwordsandphrases;differentabundantsentencepatterns;correctconjunctions.Copy2:Whatwemustfacewithisthatourparentsalwaysgeteverythingofusundercontrol,whichmakesusfeelratheruncomfortable.Toourdisappointment,parentsalwaysworryaboutwhatweweareveryday,howwebehaveatschoolandourstudies,ourmeals,eventhefriendswehavemade.What’smore,theyoftensaythattheintensionfortheseistoletusgrowuphealthilyandhappily.Forfearoftheirfeelingsad,wehavetoactastheyrequire,ratherthansayaword.ChildasIam,Ientirelyunderstandmyparents.Ithinkthekeytoitistounderstandthem.Ontheotherhand,weshouldmakeourparentsunderstandus,either.Withthelovebetweenparentsandus,wecanleadacomfortableandsensefullife!24(張武斌)Copy3:Itisbelievedthatourparentsalwayspayattentiontoeverythingwedo.Theymakeitarulethatwhateverwedo,weshouldtellthem.Forexample,tellthemthereasonandyoucangetthemoneywhichyouaskfor.Tellthemwhereyougoandthenyoucangoout.Theyalwaysworryaboutus.Theytakeitforgrantedthatwhatevertheydoforusisgood.Theyonlywantustolivehappilyandhealthily.However,hadrdlydotheychangetheirmindnomatterhowwecomplain.Theapproachtosolvetheproblemistounderstandourparentsandmakeourselvesunderstood.Onlyinthiswaycanwegetonwellwithourparents.26(徐佳峰)Copy4:Ourparentscareforeverythingwedo.Theyalwaystelluswhatweshoulddoandstopusdoingwhateverweliketodo,whichmakesourgenerationgapdeeper.However,asourparents,whatevertheydoismakeusgrowuphealthilyandlivehappily.Fromthetimewewereborn,theyworryaboutwhatweeat,howmuchsleepwegetandhowwebehaveatschool.Infact,wehavebeenbecomgpartoftheirlivesandcarryingalltheirhopesandexpectationsfromourbirth.Itistheywhobringourlivesaswellascomfortinlife.Therefore,moreunderstandingbetweenusisamusttoshortenourgapandimproveourrelationship.Onlyinthiswaycanwegetonwellwitheachotherandenjoythecompanionship.(apossibleversion)Sixprinciplesofmakingsentences(造句成文六大原則)：1.advancedwords(高級(jí)詞匯原則)2.adverbialadvanceed(狀語(yǔ)提前原則)3.phrasespreferred(短語(yǔ)優(yōu)先原則)4.compoundsentence,compositesentenceandsentenceofspecialkind(并列句、復(fù)合句和特殊句式原則)5.longandshortsentencesalternately(長(zhǎng)短句交替原則)6.passagesinparagraphs(短文分段分層原則)Fivecharacteristicsofoutstandingwriting:(高分作文的五大特性)1.senseoforder(條理性:段落完整，層次分明）2.accuracy(準(zhǔn)確性:語(yǔ)