讀后續(xù)寫七美元的夢(mèng)想 人與社會(huì) 傳遞友善-高考英語(yǔ)作文備考

SummarizethestoryinyourownwordsAnadvertisementremindedmeofmypast:Iusedtodreamabouthavingaviolinofmyown,whichseemedimpossibleduringtheGreatDepressionwhenmyfamilystruggledtoearn

aliving.MyfatherturnedtoMr.Finkle,fromwhomIgotaviolinwhichonlycost7dollars.Judgingfromthetwosentences,whatmustbecoveredineachparagraph?Para.1InoticedthetearsinDaddy’seyesasIfinallycomprehendedthatitwasmine!____________________________________WhathappenedafterIfinallygottheviolin?realizedmydreamJudgingfromthetwosentences,whatessentialsmustbecoveredineachparagraph?Para2.Iforcedmythoughtstothepresentandreadagaintheadvertisement.____________________________________WhathappenedafterIreadtheadvertisementagain?passedthelove/dreamonWorkouttheoutlineParagraph1.實(shí)現(xiàn)夢(mèng)想WhathappenedafterIfinallygottheviolin?Ifinallyrealizedmydreamofplayingintheschoolorchestra.Paragraph2.傳遞夢(mèng)想WhathappenedafterIreadtheadvertisementagain?Ihandedavoilintothekidwhoresembledyoungerme.Adddetails--findechoingdetailsinthestory!Whatdescriptionscanbeusedtoecho

thetheme?(Para.1)Ifinallyrealizedmydreamofplayingintheschoolorchestra.Someday,I’llsitupthere.(Para.2)Ihandedavoilintothekidwhoresembledyoungerme.“Ifounditinapawnshopforsevendollars.It’sagoodviolin.MaryLoushouldbeabletomakeabeautifulmusicwithit.”Adddetails--toshow,nottotell!(Para.1)Ifinallyrealizedmydreamofplayingintheschoolorchestra.(Para.2)Ihandedavoilintothekidwhoresembledyoungerme.Whatweremyfeelings?Howtoshowtheemotions?Adddetails--transitionalsentencesInoticedthetearsinDaddy’seyesasIfinallycomprehendedthatitwasmine!____________A.Withmyhandstrembling,Itookovertheviolinandheldittightly.B.Iwasfrozenonthespotandcouldn’tbelievewhathadhappened.C.Filledwithexcitement,IhuggedDaddyandsaid,“Thankyou,Daddy!”D.Iwasseizedbyawaveofhappinessandexcitement.______________________________________Iforcedmythoughtstothepresentandreadagaintheadvertisement.

A.Thoughsomanyyearshadpassed,the7-dollarviolinwasstillpreservedcarefullyinmycloset.B.Ikeptpracticingwiththat7-dollarviolinandsuccessfullymadeabeautifulmusicwithit.C.Itsuddenlyoccurredtomethatthe7-dollarviolinwasjustawhitelie.D.Thatdayremainsthemostpreciousmemoryinmymind.Iforcedmythoughtstothepresentandreadagaintheadvertisement.________________________A.Iguessitmustbewrittenbysomeonewhoisalsoinapooreconomiccondition.B.Withouthesitation,Icontactedtheadvertiser,offeringaviolinforonlysevendollars.C.Itwasn’teasytofindtheboy’shome.D.Iclosedmyeyesandpicturedachilddreamingaboutaviolin,whosefamily,however,isalsoinpoorcondition.LastsentenceA.Nevergiveupyourdreamandalwaysgiveahelpinghandtothosewhoareontheirwaytotheirdreams.B.Irecognizedthesmilingfacewhichwaslitupwithhappiness,justlikemineinthatfine,oldhouse.C.SoIfinallydecidedthatIwouldsellitat7dollars,theexactpriceithadusedtobe.D.Althoughtheviolinwassoldat7dollars,dreamispriceless.E.“Sevendollars.”Iputdownthephonewithabroadsmile,knowingthatthe7-dollarsdreamwouldbepassedon.Feedback1.主題方向和情節(jié)設(shè)置大部分同學(xué)都能踩對(duì)，即“把愛傳下去”，必須提到我贈(zèng)琴給他人的情節(jié)，否則不及格2.細(xì)節(jié)描寫必須對(duì)主題的完成有價(jià)值，部分同學(xué)在一些不重要的細(xì)節(jié)上花費(fèi)過多筆墨，如“疑惑小提琴到底值不值7美元”，“拉琴的細(xì)節(jié)”、“7美元對(duì)我的家庭來(lái)說(shuō)是不是一大筆錢”、“我找了一把什么樣的小提琴送給孩子”

“我在送出琴之前激烈的心理斗爭(zhēng)”等，都屬于偏題與文章主題無(wú)關(guān)的細(xì)節(jié)都可以不用深究InoticedthetearsinDaddy’seyesasIfinallycomprehendedthatitwasmine!

“It’sbeautiful.”Isaid,barelybreathing.Iknew

Daddy’s

prayer,andmine,hadbeenanswered.Backhome,Ipracticeddaily,feelingnotiredness.WhenIwasreadytojointheschool

orchestra,Itrembledwithexcitement.DaddyandMothersmiledproudlyintheaudienceattheirlittlegirlwhoheldhercherished

violin

forthewholeworldtoadmire.Finally,myhardworkpaidoffandIbecamethefirstchairviolin.Thosepreciousyearsseemedtorunmoreswiftlythen.Iforcedmythoughtstothepresentandreadagaintheadvertisement.Layingthepaperaside,Iwenttofindmyviolin.AndIdialedthenumber.Laterthatafternoon,amaninhisthirtieswithayounggirlknockedonthedoor.“I’vebeenprayingsomeonewouldanswermy

advertisement.Mydaughterwantsaviolinsobadly.”Hesaid,“Howmuchareyouasking?”“Sevendollars,”Ihandedthecasetothegirl,sayin