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高考讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)素材積累:動(dòng)作與神態(tài)描寫(xiě)1Nanacollapsingsuddenly,
herbody
tightening,
becomingrigid(僵硬的),
hereyesrollingback,
herarmsandlegs
shaking
asifsomethingwerethrottling(壓制)
herfromtheinside,
thefroth(泡沫)
atthecornersofhermouth,white,sometimespinkwithblood.
描述可憐的Nana發(fā)病時(shí)的狀態(tài):herbody--tightening,
becomingrigid(僵硬的);hereyes--rollingback;herarmsandlegs--shaking;
thefroth(泡沫)
atthecornersofhermouth--white,sometimespinkwithblood.作者從Nana身體的各個(gè)部位進(jìn)行描述,給人以真實(shí)感,人物造型栩栩如生,使文章生動(dòng)形象。2WhenMariamspoke,hisattentionneverwavered動(dòng)搖.He
noddedslowly
and
smiledwithalookofgratitude,asif
hehadbeengrantedacoveted渴望的
privilege.ItwaseasytotellMullahFaizullahthingsthatMariamdidn’tdaretellNana.本句描述了師生的關(guān)系和諧,其中在描述老師傾聽(tīng)
Mariam講話時(shí)的神態(tài)特別形象:noddedslowly
and
smiledwithalookofgratitude描寫(xiě)動(dòng)作時(shí),為了讓動(dòng)作更豐滿(mǎn),更靈動(dòng),可以適當(dāng)運(yùn)用副詞,介詞短語(yǔ)等來(lái)補(bǔ)充說(shuō)明。比如本句中:noddedslowly;根據(jù)情景我們還可以用noddingquickly等等。再比如,在表達(dá)微笑的時(shí)候,本句中smiledwithalookofgratitude=smilegratefully;根據(jù)情景,還可以有smilebroadly,開(kāi)懷地笑。smilecharmingly迷人地笑.smilecunningly狡猾地笑。smilepleasantly令人愉快地笑smilefaintly微微一笑;等等。3“Isthatwhatyouwant?”MullahFaizullahsaid,
lookingatherwithhissoft,wateryeyes,
hishandsbehindhisstoopingback,theshadowofhisturbanfallingonapatchofbristlingbuttercups.對(duì)老師講話時(shí)的神態(tài)描寫(xiě):眼睛lookingatherwithhissoft,wateryeyes手:hishandsbehindhisstoopingback4Whenshelaughed,she
coveredhermouthwithafisttohidethebadtooth.娜娜笑的時(shí)候的神態(tài)描寫(xiě):coveredhermouthwithafisttohidethebadtooth.用拳頭蓋住她的嘴巴以掩飾她糟糕的牙齒,體現(xiàn)了她愛(ài)美,又不太自信的神態(tài)。5She
waiteduntilherlegswerestiff(堅(jiān)硬的).Thistime,shedidnotgobacktothekolba.
She
rolledupthelegsofhertrouserstotheknees,
crossed
thestream,and,forthefirsttimeinherlife,
headeddown
thehillforHerat赫拉特(阿富汗西北部城市)用動(dòng)作表達(dá)她內(nèi)心的掙扎與果敢:waiteduntilherlegswerestiff(堅(jiān)硬的)rolledupthelegsofhertrouserscrossed
thestreamheadeddown6Finally,onThursdays,allshecoulddowassitagainstawall,
eyesgluedtothestream,andwait.IfJalilwasrunninglate,
aterribledreadfilledherbitbybit.Herkneeswouldweaken,andshewouldhaveto
gosomewhereandliedown.等候父親的神態(tài)描寫(xiě):eyesgluedtothestream體現(xiàn)了她的渴望;aterribledreadfilledherbitbybit;Herkneeswouldweaken;...gosomewhereandliedown用具體的身體反應(yīng)與動(dòng)作表達(dá)她的恐懼與焦慮。7
Alookofconfusioncrossed
thegirl’sface.Then,
aflashofrecognition.Therewas
afaintsmile
onherlipsnow,and
anairofeagerness
abouther,ofanticipation.“Waithere,”thegirl
saidquickly.神態(tài)的細(xì)微變化:先是Alookofconfusioncrossed
thegirl’sface然后aflashofrecognition.之后是
afaintsmile
再是
anairofeagerness
最后是thegirl
saidquickly.一連串的神態(tài)變化,細(xì)微的表情特寫(xiě),最后輔以動(dòng)作。就像是看電影,有木有?8She
swung
herfeetoverthesideofthebedandhurried
over.She
kissed
hishandasalwaysand
heherbrow.She
pulled
himup
achair.一連串的動(dòng)作描寫(xiě):
swung--hurried
over--kissed
--heherbrow(kiss)
--pulled
himup
這一連串的動(dòng)作將瑪麗亞姆對(duì)父親到來(lái)的熱情與愛(ài)表達(dá)出來(lái)了。9Jalil’seyes
liftedslowly,
metMariam’s,lingered
foramoment,thendropped.
He
openedhismouth,
butallthatcameforthwas
asingle,painedgroan.細(xì)膩的神態(tài)描寫(xiě):父親Jalil的反應(yīng):
Jalil’seyes--
liftedslowly--metMariam’s--lingered
foramoment--dropped--
openedhismouth--asingle,painedgroan描寫(xiě)了父親對(duì)女兒要出嫁的復(fù)雜心情,這些動(dòng)作描寫(xiě)表現(xiàn)了人物的內(nèi)心世界,以外顯內(nèi)。10Theirgazes
metbriefly
intheglassand
slidaway.細(xì)膩的神態(tài)描寫(xiě):陌生不自在的碰撞:metbriefly--slidaway11He
crossedanduncrossed
hisarms.他手臂交叉在胸前,又放了下來(lái)。動(dòng)作描寫(xiě):將一組相對(duì)的詞“交叉cross"與"使不交叉,放下uncross”放在一起表達(dá),表達(dá)了人物的矛盾心理。12Jalil
lookeddown,and,likeanovergrownchild,
dugat
somethingwiththetoeofhisshoe.Jalil,(瑪麗亞姆的父親)朝下看,用鞋尖磨蹭地面什么的dugatsomethingwiththetoeofhisshoe。本句用了比喻的手法,
likeanovergrownchild就像一個(gè)大孩子,形象地描寫(xiě)了父親感到愧疚的神態(tài)。13
Aloneinthehouse,Mariam
pacedrestlessly,fromthekitchentothelivingroom,upthestepstoherroomanddownagain.She
endedupback
inherroom,
doingherprayersorsitting
onthebed,
missing
hermother,
feeling
nauseatedandhomesick.描述Mariam一個(gè)人在家無(wú)聊的場(chǎng)景一、動(dòng)作的不斷變換:不安地走動(dòng)pacedrestlessly;endedupback返回;doingherprayers祈禱orsitting
onthebed坐在床上,同時(shí)想念母親missing
hermother...想家
feeling
nauseatedandhomesick...
二、場(chǎng)景的不斷變換fromthekitchentothelivingroom從廚房到客廳,upthestepstoherroomanddownagain去樓上房間又下來(lái)...這些并不是累贅的文字,這些文字讓讀者更加了解瑪麗亞姆在家無(wú)所事事百無(wú)聊賴(lài)的心情。我們似乎看到了瑪麗亞姆在陌生的家里孤單的身影。14
She
pushed
untilsomehowshewasintheclearandthenshe
ranup
thestreet.Itwasn’tuntilshe’d
reached
theintersectionthatshe
realized
she’drunthewrongway.She
turnedaround
andranback
intheotherdirection,
headeddown,
tripping
onceand
scrapingherkneebadly,thenupagainand
running,bolting
pastthewomen.形象地描述Mariam慌不擇路的窘態(tài):逃跑,方向錯(cuò)了,返回跑,又摔倒受傷了。
15
He
gave
hera
woundedlook.經(jīng)過(guò)一系列的事情,瑪麗亞姆感覺(jué)父親并不真正愛(ài)她,內(nèi)心極度受挫極為傷心。她說(shuō)她永遠(yuǎn)不要聽(tīng)到他消息。這時(shí),父親傷心地望了她一眼。這一眼,體現(xiàn)了父親怎樣復(fù)雜的感情呢?16
“Don’tleavelikethis,”he
saidinathinvoice.瑪麗亞姆憎恨父親將她嫁出去,拒絕與父親交流。在出嫁那天與父親分別時(shí),態(tài)度冷漠,于是父親軟弱無(wú)力地說(shuō):別這樣離開(kāi)我。用"thin"這個(gè)詞來(lái)表達(dá)他內(nèi)心的那種傷感,內(nèi)疚與心虛。17
Rasheed
buried
hisfaceintoherpillow,andMariam
stared,
wide-eyed,attheceilingabovehisshoulder,
shivering,lips
pursed,feelingtheheatofhisquickbreathsonhershoulder.描述瑪麗亞姆與丈夫首次身體的接觸,后面幾句都是類(lèi)似的。大家可以酌情處理。這類(lèi)描述也可以用在其他情景中,如某人很興奮,很恐懼等。18Hishandwasonherrightbreastnow,squeezingithardthroughtheblouse,andshecouldhearhim
breathingdeeplythroughthenose.19.Therewasamomentofhesitation,andthenhishandwasonherneck,histhickfingers
slowlypressing
theknobsinthebackofit.Histhumb
sliddown,andnowitwasstrokingthehollowabovehercollarbone,thenthefleshbeneathit.Mariambeganshivering.Hishand
crept
lowerstill,lower,hisfingernailscatchinginthecottonofherblouse.20
Mariam
closed
hereyes,
grittedherteeth(咬緊牙關(guān)).21.Mariamsatonhisbed,embarrassedandconfused.Shecuppedherfacewithherhandsandclosedhereyes.Shebreathedandbreatheduntilshefeltcalmer.神態(tài)描寫(xiě):困擾與尷尬。作者是這樣描述的:雙手捧住臉,閉上眼睛cuppedherfacewithherhandsandclosedhereyes.然后她不斷地呼吸直到感覺(jué)平靜些Shebreathedandbreatheduntilshefeltcalmer。這種具體的神態(tài)與動(dòng)作描寫(xiě)把她的尷尬與困惑形象地表達(dá)出來(lái)了。22Hungermadehimcurt,irritable,impatient.饑餓帶來(lái)的反應(yīng)。簡(jiǎn)單粗暴,易怒,沒(méi)有耐心:curt,irritable,impatient.23Meanwhile,achangehadcomeoverRasheedeversincethedayatthebathhouse.Mostnightswhenhecamehome,hehardlytalkedanymore.Heate,smoked,wenttobed,sometimescamebackinthemiddleofthenightforabriefand,oflate,quiteroughsessionofcoupling.瑪麗亞姆丈夫Rasheed在她流產(chǎn)后,對(duì)她的態(tài)度發(fā)生了極大變化?;丶液螅苌僦v話。他就是吃飯,抽煙。上床睡覺(jué),或者午夜回家一會(huì)兒。動(dòng)作描寫(xiě)很簡(jiǎn)單ate,smoked,wenttobed,,但我們能深刻體會(huì)到這種壓抑的生活氛圍,以及瑪麗亞姆在這種環(huán)境下生存,該多么不易。24Occasionally,hetookheraroundtownonFridays,likeheusedto,butonthesidewalkshewalkedquicklyandalwaysafewstepsaheadofher,withoutspeaking,unmindfulofMariamwhoalmosthadtoruntokeepupwithhim.Hewasn’tsoreadywithalaughontheseoutingsanymore.Hedidn’tbuyhersweetsorgifts,didn’tstopandnameplacestoherasheusedto.Herquestionsseemedtoirritatehim.丈夫Rasheed在她流產(chǎn)后的又一表現(xiàn):帶她上街少了Occasionally,hetookheraroundtown。即使在街上,走路很快,不顧瑪麗亞姆能否跟上。事實(shí)上,瑪麗亞姆跟不上,要跑著才能跟上他walkedquicklyandalwaysafewstepsaheadofher,withoutspeaking,unmindfulofMariamwhoalmosthadtorunt。而且不講話,不買(mǎi)禮物給她了,也不停下來(lái)介紹地名給她didn’tbuyhersweetsorgifts,didn’tstopandnameplacestoherasheusedto,瑪麗亞姆如果問(wèn)問(wèn)題,似乎也會(huì)激怒他irritatehim。足見(jiàn)他的不耐煩,以及對(duì)瑪麗亞姆的嫌棄。他對(duì)瑪麗亞姆已經(jīng)沒(méi)有愛(ài)了。25Hedidn’tlookatherwhenhesaidthis.Thesedays,heneverdidanymore,andMariamwasn’teversureifshewasbeingspokento.丈夫Rasheed對(duì)瑪麗亞姆的冷漠的態(tài)度:說(shuō)話不看她,而且有一段時(shí)間了,Hedidn’tlookatherwhenhesaidthis.Thesedays,heneverdidanymore,這相當(dāng)于冷暴力。26Itwasn’teasytoleratinghimtalkingthiswaytoher,tobearhisscorn,hisridicule,hisinsults,hiswalkingpastherlikeshewasnothingbutahousecat.可憐的Mariam要容忍丈夫?qū)λ睦淠c侮辱:bearhisscorn,hisridicule,hisinsults;這里多個(gè)his的重復(fù),是修辭中的平行對(duì)照手法,形式整齊勻稱(chēng),音律節(jié)奏鏗鏘,富有感染力。在燦爛千陽(yáng)中,類(lèi)似的句子表達(dá)有很多。在這里,我們可以感受到她丈夫?qū)Υ拖穹孔永锏囊恢回?,不把她?dāng)人看待,讓我們對(duì)瑪麗亞姆的命運(yùn)產(chǎn)生深深的同情。27Heputitinhismouth,chewedonce,thentwice,beforegrimacing(做鬼臉)andspittingitoutont
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