2021英語短笑話_1

1、英語短笑話?What do you call a sheep with no legs?A cloud.(Jon)?Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what i just said.When did you first notice this problem?What problem? (Scott)?What is defference between man and Superman?Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over

2、the trouser. (Tejas Chachcha)?How do you know if your a red neck?You go to the family reunon to find a date! (Faithe Ainsworth)?Yo mamma so stupid, she tried to commit suicide by jumping out her basement window. (Kyle Burglie)?Yo mamma so fat, every time she turns around its her b-day! (Pisshead Bon

3、ehead)?Sam: Would you punish me for some thing i didnt do? Teacher: no, of course not.Sam: good, because i didnt do my homework. (Scott)?What is green and smells?Hulks fart.(Azbar Kahleed)?Why did the elephant bring toilet paper to a party?Becase he was a party pooper. (Briana)?You so short you have

4、 to look up to look down. (Crystal)?Yo mamma is so fat:She eats Wheat Thicks.Were in her right now.?She was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for a new world. She lay on the beach and people ran around saying, FREE WILLY. (M.P. Monaghan)?Yo mamma so ugly when she was born, your mother said

5、, What a treasure! and your father said, Yea lets go bury it. (M. P. Monaghan)?Yo mamma so ugly, she got arrested for mooning when she looked out a window. (M. P. Monaghan)?How do you make a blondes eyes sparkle?Shine a torch into her ear.?How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?His lips are moving.

6、?Why wont sharks attack lawyers?Professional courtesy.?What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? Not enough sand.?Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?Take your foot off his head.?Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?No? Good!?Whats the difference between a lawyer an

7、d a bucket of shit?The bucket.?Whats the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?A vampire only sucks blood at night.?Yo mamas so fat she had her ears pierced by harpoon.?Yo mamas so fat she needs a watch on both arms because she covers two time zones.?Yo mamas so fat she needs a hula hoop to keep

8、 up her socks.?Yo mamas so fat when she goes to a restaurant she doesnt get a menu, she gets an estimate.?Yo mamas so fat, she sets off car alarms when she runs.?Yo mamas so fat, when she fell in love she broke it.?How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb ?Two. One to change it, and a

9、nother one to change it back again.?How many Conservative economists does it take to change a lightbulb ?None. The invisible hand does it.?How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. If the light bulb really needed changing, market forces would have already caused it to happen.?

10、Have you ever noticed. anybody going slower than you is an idiot. And anyone going faster is a maniac.George Carlin?You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Shes 97 today and we dont know wherethe hell she is.Ellen DeGeneris?I think men who have pie

11、rced ears are better prepared for marriage. They have experience pain and bought jewelry.Rita Rudner?Im not into working out. My philosophy: No pain. No pain.Carol Leifer?I have a great diet. You are allowed to eat anything you want. But you must eat it with naked fat peple.Ed Bluestone?I went into MacDonalds yesterday and said Id like some fries. The girl at the counter said Would you like some fries with that.Jay Leno?Why dont oysters give to charity?Because theyre shellfish.?What can you do in radiation-contaminated rivers?Nuclear fission.?Wh