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讀后續(xù)寫讀后續(xù)寫賦分25分,提供一段350詞左右的語言材料(多為故事類文章或夾敘夾議類文章),要求考生依據(jù)該材料內(nèi)容、所給段落開頭語進(jìn)行續(xù)寫,為其補(bǔ)充一篇150詞左右,與給定材料有邏輯銜接、情節(jié)合理和結(jié)構(gòu)完整的短文。讀后續(xù)寫是一種將閱讀與寫作緊密結(jié)合的考查形式,旨在考查學(xué)生的綜合語言運(yùn)用能力。與應(yīng)用文不同,故事續(xù)寫除了要求學(xué)生掌握豐富的詞匯和句式外,還注重學(xué)生的內(nèi)容構(gòu)思和情節(jié)銜接的能力。可以利用“七三四法則”一擊破讀后續(xù)寫
題型概述閱讀下面材料,根據(jù)內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段,使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。Duringavacationoneyear,mymomandIleftourhome,Wewentonatwo-weektriptothecountrysidewheremymotherhadgrownup.IwasexcitedbecauseIcouldn'twaittoseemygrandparents.ThelasttimeIhadvisitedthemwaswhenIwasonlythreeyearsold.Ialsowishedtogosightseeing.rideelephants,anddomanymorethingsthere,Theymustbeverywonderful.Withgreatwishes,wearrivedatmygrandparents’houseinthecountryside.Duringthefirstseveraldays,Istayedintheirhouseforfun.Butsoon,Igotbored.Iwonderedwhatadventureswereinstoreforme.Onemorninglsaidtomymom,"Ireallywanttogooutsidetoplay."Mymomreplied,"Stephanie,todaywe'regoingtoaschool.Thechildrentherearestudyinginpoorconditions.Idecidedtousesomeofmyownmoneytobuysomeschoolsupplies(日用品)forthem."Hearingthat,1wasabitunhappy."Wecangooutandplayanotherday.Todayweneedtospendalittletimehelpingthesepoorchildren,"momadded.Ihadnochoicebuttoagree.Afewminuteslater,mymomdrovemetotheschool.Ontheway,shesaid,"We'dfirstvisittheschooltoknowwhatkindofthingsthesechildrenwantmost.Thenwe'lltrytobuythem."Ithoughttomyself:whatavacationIamhaving!Icomeheretogosightseeing,notdocharitywork.Whenwereachedtheschool,Ijustcouldn'tbelievemyeyes.Therewasonlyonesmallbuilding,whichlookedasifitwereahundredyearsold.Therewasnoplayground,noparkinglot.Itwassosmall,theschoolIwenttobackhomewasamilliontimesbigger.Howunluckythechildrenherewere!Wemetateacherintheschool,andmymomtoldhimthepurposeofourvisit.Theteacherwasverygladandthankedus.Thentheteacherguidedusintoaclassroom._______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Holdingtheshoppinglist,mymomandIheadedforastore._______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________讀懂大意,理清脈絡(luò)根據(jù)記敘文的六要素(when,where,who,what,why,how)弄清文章大意,特別要弄清故事的人物,時(shí)態(tài)(通常是一般過去時(shí)),事件(故事的起因和經(jīng)過),語言特色。注意:人物、時(shí)態(tài)、事件、語言特色不要變。寫作過程Duringavacationoneyear,mymomandIleftourhome.Wewentonatwo-weektriptothecountrysidewheremymotherhadgrownup.IwasexcitedbecauseIcouldn'twaittoseemygrandparents.ThelasttimeIhadvisitedthemwaswhenIwasonlythreeyearsold.Ialsowishedtogosightseeing,rideelephants,anddomanymorethingsthere,theymustbeverywonderful.深度解讀語篇深度解讀語篇Withgreatwishes,wearrivedatmygrandparents’houseinthecountryside.Duringthefirstseveraldays,Istayedintheirhouseforfun.Butsoon,Igotbored.Iwonderedwhatadventureswereinstoreforme.Onemorninglsaidtomymom,"Ireallywanttogooutsidetoplay."Mymomreplied,"Stephanie,todaywe'regoingtoaschool.Thechildrentherearestudyinginpoorconditions.Idecidedtousesomeofmyownmoneytobuysomeschoolsupplies(日用品)forthem."Hearingthat,1wasabitunhappy."Wecangooutandplayanotherday.Todayweneedtospendalittletimehelpingthesepoorchildren,"momadded.Ihadnochoicebuttoagree.深度解讀語篇Afewminuteslater,mymomdrovemetotheschool.Ontheway,shesaid,"We'dfirstvisittheschooltoknowwhatkindofthingsthesechildrenwantmost.Thenwe'lltrytobuythem."Ithoughttomyself:whatavacationIamhaving!Icomeheretogosightseeing,notdocharitywork.angry深度解讀語篇Whenwereachedtheschool,Ijustcouldn'tbelievemyeyes.Therewasonlyonesmallbuilding,whichlookedasifitwereahundredyearsold.Therewasnoplayground,noparkinglot.Itwassosmall,theschoolIwenttobackhomewasamilliontimesbigger.Howunluckythechildrenherewere!Wemetateacherintheschool,andmymomtoldhimthepurposeofourvisit.Theteacherwasverygladandthankedus.深度文本解析(1)梳理主要情節(jié)Duringavacationoneyear,mymomandIleftourhome.Wewentonatwo-weektriptothecountrysidewheremymotherhadgrownup.IwasexcitedbecauseIcouldn'twaittoseemygrandparents.ThelasttimeIhadvisitedthemwaswhenIwasonlythreeyearsold.Ialsowishedtogosightseeing.rideelephants,anddomanymorethingsthere.Theymustbeverywonderful.Withgreatwishes,wearrivedatmygrandparents’houseinthecountryside.Duringthefirstseveraldays,Istayedintheirhouseforfun.Butsoon,Igotbored.Iwonderedwhatadventureswereinstoreforme.Onemorninglsaidtomymom,"Ireallywanttogooutsidetoplay."Mymomreplied,"Stephanie,todaywe'regoingtoaschool.Thechildrentherearestudyinginpoorconditions.Idecidedtousesomeofmyownmoneytobuysomeschoolsupplies(日用品)forthem."Hearingthat,1wasabitunhappy."Wecangooutandplayanotherday.Todayweneedtospendalittletimehelpingthesepoorchildren,"momadded.Ihadnochoicebuttoagree.Afewminuteslater,mymomdrovemetotheschool.Ontheway,shesaid,"We'dfirstvisittheschooltoknowwhatkindofthingsthesechildrenwantmost.Thenwe'lltrytobuythem."Ithoughttomyself:whatavacationIamhaving!Icomeheretogosightseeing,notdocharitywork.Whenwereachedtheschool,Ijustcouldn'tbelievemyeyes.Therewasonlyonesmallbuilding,whichlookedasifitwereahundredyearsold.Therewasnoplayground,noparkinglot.Itwassosmall,theschoolIwenttobackhomewasamilliontimesbigger.Howunluckythechildrenherewere!Wemetateacherintheschool,andmymomtoldhimthepurposeofourvisit.Theteacherwasverygladandthankedus.(2)分析人物特點(diǎn)themother,theson,theteacher,thechildren(3)明確故事主題Helpthosewhoinneed.(4)品味寫作風(fēng)格哪些細(xì)節(jié)描寫為主:心理,動(dòng)作,語言,表情,環(huán)境,外貌2.深度文本解析Duringavacationoneyear,mymomandIleftourhome.Therewasonlyonesmallbuilding,whichlookedasifitwereahundredyearsold.Withgreatwishes,wearrivedatmygrandparents’houseinthecountryside.Howunluckythechildrenherewere!Hearingthat,Iwasabitunhappy.3.讀后續(xù)寫語言特色時(shí)間狀語with復(fù)合結(jié)構(gòu)非謂語感嘆句非限制性定語從句兩段首句定一框Para.1:Thentheteacherguidedusintoaclassroom.Para.2:Holdingtheshoppinglist,mymomandIheadedforastore.從第一段首句和第二段首句預(yù)測(cè):①Whatdid"I"see?②Howdid"I"feel?③Whatdid"I"do?二、細(xì)讀首句,構(gòu)思框架二框二首正能量Para.2:Holdingtheshoppinglist,mymomandIheadedforastore.從第二段首句和正能量結(jié)局預(yù)測(cè)①Howtoexpresshissympthy?②Howdid"I"feel?3)Thethemeofthestory:Helpthosewhoinneed.三、增加細(xì)節(jié),開始寫作Para.1:Thentheteacherguidedusintoaclassroom.Para.2:Holdingtheshoppinglist,mymomandIheadedforastore.三、增加細(xì)節(jié),開始寫作Para.2:Holdingtheshoppinglist,mymomandIheadedforastore.在已定框架范圍內(nèi),依據(jù)情節(jié)發(fā)展和生活常識(shí),推斷故事中人物所見、所聞、所思、所說、所做等給每段增加5至8個(gè)具體細(xì)節(jié),我們稱之為叫“58細(xì)節(jié)添加法”情感:sympathy,thankful,grateful,moved,bemovedtotears(感動(dòng)到落淚)Toucheddeeply,thetearswelledupintheone’seyes.(深受感動(dòng),熱淚盈眶)動(dòng)作:lowerhishead(低頭),touchhishead(拍頭),pathisshoulder(拍他的肩)說:say,speak,guess,ask,explain,argue,continue,deny(否認(rèn)),remark(議論),add(接著說),murmur(低聲說)Tips:借助心理描寫,有效對(duì)話,動(dòng)作描寫,場(chǎng)景描寫讓續(xù)寫內(nèi)容生動(dòng)形象三、增加細(xì)節(jié),開始寫作Paragraph1Thentheteacherguidedusintoaclassroom.Theclassroomwassosmall,buttherewereaboutthirtychildrensittinginit,makingitextremelycrowded.lfoundmostofthestudentswearingworn-outclothesandhavingnoschoolsuppliesexceptsomeoldbooksandpencils.lmmediately,lfeltsympathyforthem.Aftertheteacherintroducedustothemandexplainedwhywecamehere,allthechildrenwerewildwithjoyandtoldusthethingstheyhadwantedforlong,suchasschoolbags,picturebooks,newpencilsandsoon.Mymommadealistofthesethings.(作者看見很多學(xué)生穿著破舊的衣服,作者讓他們說出想要的東西,作者和媽媽列了清單)四、修改潤色,整齊謄寫審讀初稿,注意語義是否銜接,前后是否連貫,事件是否符合邏輯,語言特色是否與前文一致。在修改潤色之后,整齊工整地譽(yù)寫在答卷上。Paragraph2:Holdingtheshoppinglist,mymomandlheadedforastore.Therelhelpedmymompickupthethingsonthelist.Tomymother'ssurprise,Idecidedtobuysomethingforthechildrenusingmyownpocketmoney,forwhichmymompraisedmealot.Ialsoaddedsomecandiestooursupplies.Thesechildrenweresogratefulthattheythankedusagainandagainwhenreceivingthegifts.Someofthemstartedreadingthepicturebooksandsharingthecandiesrightaway.Seeingtheirsmilingface,llearneddoingsomethingmeaningfulforotherscouldalsobeawonderfulthing.(作者和媽媽一起去購物,作者用自己的零花錢買這些東西,孩子們收到禮物很感動(dòng))讀后續(xù)寫五步法
01讀后續(xù)寫題型解讀1題型解讀
讀后續(xù)寫:
提供一篇350詞以內(nèi)的材料,要求考生依據(jù)材料內(nèi)容、所給段落開頭語進(jìn)行續(xù)寫(150詞左右),將其發(fā)展成一篇與給定材料有邏輯銜接、情節(jié)和結(jié)構(gòu)完整的短文。(滿分25分)(Read+Write)閱卷時(shí)主要考慮:1.與所給短文及段落開頭語的銜接程度;2.內(nèi)容的豐富性;3.語法結(jié)構(gòu)和詞匯的非富性和準(zhǔn)確性;4.上下文的連貫性。2考情分析年份卷別類型話題2024新高考I&II卷人與社會(huì)打車時(shí)司機(jī)給我的幫助2023新高考I&II卷人與自我在老師的鼓勵(lì)下參加作文比賽2023浙江1月卷人與自然“我”與蜂鳥的神奇邂逅2022新高考I&II卷人與自我鼓勵(lì)身殘志堅(jiān)男孩繼續(xù)參加越野賽2022浙江6月卷人與社會(huì)為無家可歸的人們發(fā)放食物2022浙江1月卷人與社會(huì)與“最不合拍”搭檔成為好友2021新高考I&II卷人與自我雙胞胎在母親節(jié)給媽媽做早餐2021浙江6月卷人與社會(huì)作者上學(xué)時(shí)的一次打工掙錢的經(jīng)歷2021浙江1月卷人與社會(huì)少年意外將頭卡在南瓜中而爆紅網(wǎng)絡(luò)讀后續(xù)寫所提供的材料一般都是故事性較強(qiáng)的文章。文章通俗易懂,故事線索的邏輯性較強(qiáng),要求考生續(xù)寫的部分多是故事發(fā)展的高潮或結(jié)局。情節(jié)曲折跌宕,線索性和邏輯性較強(qiáng)。3評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)檔次描述第六檔(22-25分)——?jiǎng)?chuàng)造了新穎、豐富、合理的內(nèi)容,富有邏輯性,續(xù)寫完整,與原文情境融洽度高;——使用了多樣且恰當(dāng)?shù)脑~匯和語法結(jié)構(gòu),表達(dá)流暢,語言錯(cuò)誤少,且完全不影響理解;——自然有效地使用了段落間、語句間銜接手段,全文結(jié)構(gòu)清晰,前后呼應(yīng),意義連貫。第五檔(18-21分)——?jiǎng)?chuàng)造了比較豐富、合理的內(nèi)容,比較有邏輯性,續(xù)寫比較完整,與原文情境融洽度較高;——使用了比較多樣且恰當(dāng)?shù)脑~匯和語法結(jié)構(gòu),表達(dá)比較流暢,有個(gè)別錯(cuò)誤,但不影響理解;——比較有效地使用了語句間銜接手段,全文結(jié)構(gòu)比較清晰,意義比較連貫。第四檔(15-17分)——?jiǎng)?chuàng)造了基本合理的內(nèi)容,有一定的邏輯性,續(xù)寫基本完整,與原文情境相關(guān);——使用了比較恰當(dāng)?shù)脑~匯和語法結(jié)構(gòu),表達(dá)方式不夠多樣性,表達(dá)有些許錯(cuò)誤,但基本不影響理解;——使用了語句間銜接手段,全文結(jié)構(gòu)比較清晰,意義比較連貫。第三檔(11-14分)——?jiǎng)?chuàng)造了基本完整的故事內(nèi)容,但有的情節(jié)不夠合理或邏輯性不強(qiáng),與原文情景基本相關(guān);——使用了簡(jiǎn)單的詞匯和語法結(jié)構(gòu),有部分語言錯(cuò)誤和不恰當(dāng)之處,個(gè)別部分影響理解;——尚有語句銜接的意識(shí),全文結(jié)構(gòu)基本清晰,意義基本連貫。
第二檔(6-10分)內(nèi)容和邏輯上有一些重大問題,續(xù)寫不夠完整,與原文有一定程度脫節(jié);所用的詞匯有限,語法結(jié)構(gòu)單調(diào),錯(cuò)誤較多且比較低級(jí),影響理解;未能有效地使用語句間銜接手段,全文結(jié)構(gòu)不夠清晰,意義欠連貫。第一檔(1-5分)內(nèi)容和邏輯上有較多重大問題,或有部分內(nèi)容抄自原文,續(xù)寫不完整,與原文情境基本脫節(jié);所使用的詞匯非常有限,語法結(jié)構(gòu)單調(diào),錯(cuò)誤極多,嚴(yán)重影響理解;幾乎沒有使用語句間銜接手段,全文結(jié)構(gòu)不清晰,意義不連貫。不得分未作答;所寫內(nèi)容太少或無法看清,以致無法評(píng)判;所寫內(nèi)容全部抄自原文,或與題目要求完全不相關(guān)。4評(píng)分原則1.本題總分為25分,按六個(gè)檔次給分。2.評(píng)分時(shí),應(yīng)主要從內(nèi)容、詞匯,語法和篇章結(jié)構(gòu)三個(gè)方面考慮,具體為:(1)續(xù)寫內(nèi)容的質(zhì)量、完整性以及與原文情境的融洽度。(2)所使用詞匯和語法結(jié)構(gòu)的準(zhǔn)確性、恰當(dāng)性和多樣性。(3)上下文的銜接和全文的連貫性。3.評(píng)分時(shí),先根據(jù)作答的整體情況初步確定其所屬檔次,然后以該檔次的要求來綜合衡量,確定或調(diào)整檔次,最后給分。4.評(píng)分時(shí)還應(yīng)注意:(1)詞數(shù)少于120的,酌情扣分。(2)書寫較差,以至影響交際的,酌情扣分。(3)單詞拼寫和標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號(hào)是寫作規(guī)范的重要方面,評(píng)分時(shí)應(yīng)視其對(duì)交際的影響程度予以考慮。英、美拼寫和詞匯用法均可接受。5低分剖析缺乏邏輯性:續(xù)寫部分只顧文字無效堆砌,內(nèi)容偏離文章主題。忽視每段首句的導(dǎo)向性:續(xù)寫最常犯的錯(cuò)誤,就是只考慮故事情節(jié)的延續(xù),忽視了與段落開頭的銜接,這樣很容易偏離主題。忽視語法結(jié)構(gòu)的準(zhǔn)確性:錯(cuò)用動(dòng)詞時(shí)態(tài)、語態(tài)、人稱等都會(huì)影響得分,各種特殊句式或從句的錯(cuò)用也是扣分的一大原因。忽視詞匯和句式的豐富性:不能充分運(yùn)用豐富的詞匯和多變的句法結(jié)構(gòu)也使文章過于平淡過度運(yùn)用對(duì)話:為追求長句,過多使用對(duì)話,使文章過于口語化,缺乏深度和閱讀體驗(yàn)。情節(jié)平鋪直敘,缺乏創(chuàng)新:古人云:“文似看山不喜平”。即寫文章就像觀賞山峰那樣,喜歡起伏,不喜歡平鋪直敘。所以續(xù)寫應(yīng)當(dāng)體現(xiàn)跌宕起伏和矛盾沖突。缺乏細(xì)節(jié)描寫:人物的外貌、心理、肢體動(dòng)作、環(huán)境等細(xì)節(jié)描寫都會(huì)增加立體性和飽滿度字跡潦草,卷面缺乏美感:卷面臟亂容易引起閱卷不適,也是扣分點(diǎn)。02讀后續(xù)寫寫作指導(dǎo)1三大原則1.原文一致原則內(nèi)容要前后銜接,上下連貫語言表達(dá)風(fēng)格一致。2.正能量原則故事內(nèi)容一定要正能量,弘揚(yáng)社會(huì)主義核心價(jià)值觀。如迷路了但最終一定回到了家;失敗了或遇到困難了,但最終一定成功了;吵架了但最后一定是言歸于好,和睦相處;犯錯(cuò)了,最后一定會(huì)改過自新,重新做人;賊逃了,最后一定是繩之以法,等等。3.曲折性原則凡是故事都應(yīng)有跌宕起伏,其中人物會(huì)遇到困難或問題,但最終能解決。讀后續(xù)寫寫什么?一般給出的閱讀材料會(huì)給出故事的開頭/起因(opening),發(fā)展(buildup)和高潮(climax),續(xù)寫的部分往往是故事的解決方法(resolution)和結(jié)果(ending)。欲知后事如何,且聽下文分解!五步法:第一步:讀原文,知大意。第二步:理線索,找沖突。第三步:猜結(jié)局,寫關(guān)鍵。第四步:多維度,添細(xì)節(jié)。第五步:布好局,成文章。讀后續(xù)寫怎么寫?閱讀下面材料,根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段,使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。Asasinglemother,I’veneverdoubtedmydaughterJane’sdreamtobeasingeronthestage.Atanearlyage,shewascrazyaboutsinging.Whenevershehadachance,shewouldsingtoherheart’scontent(讓她心滿意足).Hersweetandcharmingvoicetendedtogetpeoplearoundattractedtohersongs.Livinginasmallcity,Itookseveraloddjobs(零工),determinedtodoeverythinginmypowertosupporther.SoonafterJaneattendedschool,hermusicteacherMarynoticedhertalentbychanceandvolunteeredtogivehersomeguidanceonhowtosing.Janepracticedsohardthatbeforelongshemadegreatprogressinsinging.Unfortunately,ayearlater,Janewascrossingthestreetwhenacarelessdriverknockedherdown.Shewasrushedtohospital.WhenIhurriedthere,thedoctortoldmethatmydaughterwouldprobablynotstandonherownfeet.Ifrozewithshock,feelingasifIhadbeenthrownintoadarkworld.Weakanddizzy,Iwasabouttofalltothegroundwhensomeonetookholdofme.ItwasMary,whogotthenewsandracedhere.Shecomfortedme,sayingfirmly,“Grace,Janeneedsyou.Youmuststaycalmandstrong.”Inodded.Havingcalmeddown,IenteredthewardwithMary.Thatnight,Janerecoveredherconsciousness(知覺)andopenedhereyes.Holdingherhand,Isaid,“Mydear,everythingwouldbefine.”Marycomfortedhergently,“Iknowyouareastronggirl,Jane.Don’tworry.We’llbestandingbyyou.”IwasheartbrokentoseetearsstreamingdownJane’scheeks.Aftertwomonths,wereturnedhomefromhospital.Herteachersandfriendsfrequentlyvisitedher.Janeeventuallyacceptedthefactthatshewouldhavetogetaroundinawheelchair.Neverdidshereferto(提起)thesubjectofsingingagain.Iknewshewasaniceandunderstandinggirl,whowasafraidthattalkingaboutheroriginaldreamwouldupsetthetwoofus.注意:1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150個(gè)左右;2.請(qǐng)按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。
Para1:Oneday,however,Marycamewithgoodnews.Para2:WhenthehostannounceditwasJane’sturn,shewaswheeledontothe
stage.
第一步:讀文章,知大意whoI,mydaughter,themusicteacherwhenAyearafterdaughterattendschoolwhereatschoolwhyMydaughterhasatalentforsinging,butshecouldn’tstandafteracaraccident.whatJaneeventuallyacceptedthefactthatshewouldhavetogetaroundinawheelchair.Neverdidsherefertothesubjectofsingingagain.howIwantedtohelpherbutdon’tknowhowOpeningAtanearlyage,Janewascrazyaboutsinging.MarynoticedhertalentbychanceandvolunteeredtogivehersomeguidanceBuildupWhencrossingtheroad,Janewasknockedbyacar,
unabletostandonherownfeet..ClimaxJaneeventuallyacceptedthefactthatshewouldhavetogetaroundinawheelchair.Neverdidsherefertothesubjectofsingingagain..Resolution???Ending???第二步:理線索,找沖突待解決問題:Jane認(rèn)為自己不可能再登上舞臺(tái),不再追求自己的夢(mèng)想兩段首句定一框,二框二首正能量。
第三步:猜結(jié)局,寫關(guān)鍵第一段給出開頭后的第一句(根據(jù)第一段給出的開頭確定)第一段末尾句(根據(jù)第二段給出開頭確定)第二段給出開頭后的第一句(根據(jù)第二段給出開頭確定)第二段最后一句(根據(jù)全文升華主題句)抓住四個(gè)點(diǎn),寫好四句話1.Action-----Response原則某個(gè)人所說、所做、所想會(huì)引起其他人物的反應(yīng)。2.Conflict----Solution原則在故事原文中出現(xiàn)的矛盾或沖突在續(xù)寫部分要得到解決。3.Negative----Positive原則寫作中一定要體現(xiàn)情感的變化,但無論前面是怎樣的變化,最終都應(yīng)該是積極的。牢記三原則,提問定邏輯,動(dòng)作描寫增加細(xì)節(jié)所見、所聞所說所思所做環(huán)境描寫人物描寫
語言描寫心理描寫第四步:多維度,添細(xì)節(jié)所見、所聞(環(huán)境描寫、人物描寫)1.看到:Atthesightof...
Whatcameintomysightwas...一看到......NoticingSusan'sunhappiness,…Seeingthemessyroom,…
Lookingaround/scanningtheroom,…2.聽到:atthesoundof一聽到……h(huán)avingheard……聽到了……Onhearingthescream,he…
一聽到......
3.感到:Sensinghisanxiety,…
Feelinganxious,…4.想到;atthethoughtof…一想到Thinkingthat…,…所說(語言描寫)具體詞匯代替在對(duì)話標(biāo)簽中常用詞say,讓你的描寫更生動(dòng)傳神。Whisper低聲說出(常指耳語、竊竊私語);Murmur
喃喃自語(
多指別人不易聽到的低語);
complain抱怨著說;
Call
喊叫;Cry
叫喊;Shout呼喊;Scream驚嚇地尖叫;Yell
喊叫著說;
exclaim
驚叫;add補(bǔ)充說道=continue繼續(xù)說道;explain解釋道;state陳述道;protest抗議道;sob哭訴道;agree同意地說;promise承諾道;assure保證道;insist堅(jiān)持說;repeatv.重復(fù)地說;inquire詢問;announce/declare宣布
;
claim/state聲稱
。1.對(duì)話標(biāo)簽“”+嗓音(voice)
ina+adj.+voice2.對(duì)話標(biāo)簽+語氣(tone)
inatoneof+n3.對(duì)話標(biāo)簽+介詞短語/副詞所思(心理描寫/情感描寫)(三)、情感銜接/心理描寫銜接1.toone’ssurprise/amazement/toone'srelief2.Encouraged/Inspiredbyhiswords,…3.Whatamazed/delighted/disappointedmemostwasthat…4.unexpectedly/surprisingly/amazingly/fortunately/unfortunately/thankfully5.adj1andadj2,主句,doing…6.量詞+表情感狀態(tài)的名詞+動(dòng)詞+sb常用量詞:aburst/wave/flood/surge/senseof…常用動(dòng)詞:seize,grasp,takeholdof,crawl/creep爬,swallow吞噬,wellup涌出,flashacross掠過surge涌動(dòng),sweepover
沖;卷,overwhelm充溢,壓倒6.(doing…),so+adj/adv+部分倒裝+that…,(doing…)所做(動(dòng)作描寫)動(dòng)作鏈構(gòu)造大法1.動(dòng)作三連結(jié)構(gòu)(A,BandC結(jié)構(gòu))第1句:“男孩們跳入湖中嬉戲”想一想:跳入湖中,這個(gè)動(dòng)作前面或后面會(huì)有哪些動(dòng)作?2.非謂語結(jié)構(gòu)adj./v-ed,sbdidsth(doingsth.,sb.didsth./sb.didsth.doingsth.)老人靜坐=坐在夕陽下+
看報(bào)紙+
聽廣播沒有買到票=
排了很久隊(duì)+
被告知票賣完了
跳入湖里嬉戲=
沖向湖邊
+
脫掉衣服
+
跳入水中
Theboys
rushed
excitedlytothelake,
tookoff
theirclothesand
jumpedinto
thewater.Theoldmansatunderthesunset,
reading
thenewspaperand
listening
totheradio.Havingqueued
for3hours,he
wastold
thatthetickethadbeensoldout.
主旨升華1.OnlythendidIrealizethat……2.Itwasthisunique/unforgettable/valuableexperiencethatmademeunderstand/realize……3.Finallysomebodydidsomething.Whatanunforgettableexperience!Itturnedoutthat……1.直到那時(shí)我才意識(shí)到……2.正是這種獨(dú)特的/難忘的/寶貴的經(jīng)歷讓我明白/意識(shí)到……3.最后某人做了某事。多么難忘的經(jīng)歷啊!結(jié)果是……第五步:布好局,成文章兩段共寫150詞,每段5至8句話。檢查拼寫與語法,字體工整高分拿。第五步:布好局,成文章續(xù)寫思路引導(dǎo)續(xù)寫銜接和情節(jié)推進(jìn)的四種方法(提問問題的四種方法):假設(shè)提示句是:Adid/wassth.方法1:B’sresponse---針對(duì)A的行為,B做了什么?或者B有什么感受?方法2:Then,Adid...---A然后做了什么?或者A是如何做這件事情的?方法3:Explanation---具體解釋提示句中的某一個(gè)關(guān)鍵詞方法4:Cause-Effect---A為什么會(huì)這樣做?A這樣做會(huì)帶來什么結(jié)果?
第五步:布好局,成文章Para1:Oneday,however,Marycamewithgoodnews.Para2:WhenthehostannounceditwasJane’sturn,shewaswheeledontothe
stage.銜接:【方法3】Mary帶來了什么好消息?銜接:【方法1】當(dāng)觀眾看到Jane上臺(tái)后,會(huì)有怎樣反應(yīng)?過渡:【方法1】對(duì)于這個(gè)消息,Jane的反應(yīng)是怎樣的?我會(huì)怎樣鼓勵(lì)她?過渡:【方法1】Jane的表現(xiàn)如何?觀眾在Jane表演結(jié)束后有何反應(yīng)?銜接:【方法2】Jane在接下來的日子里會(huì)如何表現(xiàn)?過程順利嗎?結(jié)尾:【方法4】當(dāng)我看到Jane謝幕,我會(huì)有什么心理活動(dòng)?情節(jié)1“我們學(xué)校將有一場(chǎng)才藝比賽!為什么不參加并展示你的歌唱才能呢?”她用鼓勵(lì)的聲音建議道。(對(duì)話標(biāo)簽+語氣(tone)
inatoneof+n)“Therewillbeatalentcompetitioninourschool!Whynottakepartinitandshowyoursingingtalent?”shesuggestedinatoneofencouragement.情節(jié)2簡(jiǎn)臉上掠過一絲期待的神情。然而,她的表情變成了沮喪。(量詞+表情感狀態(tài)的名詞+動(dòng)詞+sb)AlookofexpectationflashedacrossJane'sface.However,itgavewaytoherexpressionoffrustration.情節(jié)2“不要讓任何事情阻止你追求你的夢(mèng)想,”我輕輕地說.(對(duì)話標(biāo)簽+介詞短語/副詞)“Don’tletanythingstopyoufromrealizingyourdream,”Iwhisperedgently.聽了我的鼓勵(lì),簡(jiǎn)抬起頭,眼睛里充滿著自信。(havingheard……聽到了……)Havingheardmyencouragingwords,Janeliftedherhead,withhereyesfilledwithconfidence.情節(jié)3在接下來的幾天里,簡(jiǎn)不知疲倦地為比賽排練,決心克服挑戰(zhàn)。(sb.didsth,adj/v-ed)Inthefollowingdays,Janetrainedtirelesslyforthecompetition,determinedtoovercomethechallenges.情節(jié)1一看到簡(jiǎn)和她的輪椅,觀眾們都驚呆了,眼睛睜得大大的,嘴巴微微張著。(Atthesightof...)
AtthesightofJaneandherwheel,theaudiencewassoastonishedthattheireyeswidenedandmouthsslightlyopened.情節(jié)2簡(jiǎn)坐在輪椅上,深吸一口氣,開始唱歌。(doingsth.,sb.didsth)Sittinginherwheelchair,Janetookadeepbreathandthenstartedsinging.被她的表演深深打動(dòng)了,一些觀眾甚至流下了眼淚。(adj./v-ed
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