高三第三次聯(lián)考讀后續(xù)寫+見證奇跡的一夜+講義

高三第三次聯(lián)考讀后續(xù)寫：Iwasworkingasasupervisorinasmall,ruralhospitalonabittercoldMidwesternwinterin1992.Iwasn’tevensupposedtobeworkingtheeveningshift,buthadagreedtoswapwithacolleaguewhoneededthenightoff.Amongmymanydutieswastoassistintheemergencyroom(ER)ifourERnurseneededhelp.Suddenly,mypager(尋呼機)

echoeddownthehallwaythatquietevening.1992年，在中西部一個嚴寒的冬天，我在一家小型農(nóng)村醫(yī)院擔(dān)任主管。我甚至不應(yīng)該上夜班，但我同意與一位需要休息一晚的同事交換。我的許多職責(zé)之一是，如果急診室護士需要幫助，我會在急診室提供幫助。突然，我的尋呼機(尋呼機)在那個安靜的夜晚，走廊里回響著?！癐needyourhelpnow,”

anurseinERsaidurgently.

“Wehaveanambulanceoutonalittleboy.Notmanydetails,butitdoesn’tsoundgood.Hewasfoundoutsideinasnowbank,andthefirstrespondershavestartedCPR.”

Myheartsank.Itwasthirtydegreesbelowzerowithwindchill.Thechilddidn’thaveachance.“我現(xiàn)在需要你的幫助，”急診室的一名護士急切地說?！拔覀冇幸惠v救護車在救一個小男孩。沒有太多細節(jié)，但聽起來不太好。他在外面的一個雪堆里被發(fā)現(xiàn)，急救人員已經(jīng)開始心肺復(fù)蘇?！蔽业男囊怀痢鉁貫榱阆氯?，風(fēng)寒交加。這個孩子沒有機會。Ienteredtheemergencyroom.Theambulancewasjustpullingup,andwhenthegurney(輪床)rolledintotheERitwasmetwithdeadsilence.CPRwasinprogress.Theblondboylaylifelessandpalewithlittlehandsfrozensosolid.

Becauseofthecircumstances,wewereobligatedtocontinueCPRuntil

hiscorebodytemperaturewasraised.

Nooneintheroomseemedtoholdanyhopeofbringingbackthislittleboy.我進入了急診室。救護車剛停下來，輪床(輪床)滾進急診室時，一片死寂。心肺復(fù)蘇術(shù)正在進行中。金發(fā)男孩躺在那里，臉色蒼白，小手凍得僵硬。由于當(dāng)時的情況，我們有義務(wù)繼續(xù)進行心肺復(fù)蘇，直到他的核心體溫升高。房間里似乎沒有人抱著把這個小男孩帶回來的希望。Thenexthourpassedquicklyasmanywayswereconductedtowarmhimup.Istoodsilentlyoverhim,

tearsrunningdownmycheeks,asIprayedsilentlyforhimandhisfamily.Icouldn’tevenhelpunderstandingthepainhisparentswereexperiencing.接下來的一個小時過得很快，人們采取了許多方法讓他暖和起來。我默默地站在他身邊，淚流滿面，默默地為他和他的家人祈禱。我甚至忍不住理解他父母所經(jīng)歷的痛苦。Hewasthesameageasmylittleboy,withthesamebeautifulblueeyesandblondhair.IthoughtofhowmuchIlovedmysonandtriedtorememberthelasttimeItoldhimIlovedhimso.Whatifhediedtonight?WouldhedieknowinghowmuchIlovedhim?Irealized,watchingagroupofdoctorsandnursesdesperatelytryingtodotheimpossible,thatIhadn’teven

huggedhimbeforeleavingforwork.AndIdeeplyregrettedthatnow.他和我的小男孩同齡，有著同樣美麗的藍眼睛和金發(fā)。我想起了我是多么愛我的兒子，并努力回憶起我最后一次告訴他我如此愛他時的情景。如果他今晚去世了怎么辦？知道我有多愛他，他會死嗎？看著一群醫(yī)生和護士拼命想做不可能的事，我意識到，在去上班之前，我甚至沒有擁抱過他。我現(xiàn)在對此深感遺憾。

第一段：Thenamiracle

(奇跡)

occurred.第二段：Watchingthescene,Imadeapromisetomyselfthatnight.前文大意：1992年“我”在一家鄉(xiāng)村小醫(yī)院當(dāng)主管。一個晚上來了一個小男孩，男孩幸存的機會很小。

考情分析：寫好不易！從學(xué)生的反饋看，有兩個難點：1.

第一段首句出現(xiàn)了一個超標詞miracle(奇跡)，這對中差生不友好。2.

第二段首句madeapromise(作出承諾)，很多同學(xué)不知道是什么承諾。此外，學(xué)生普遍反映：似乎沒有什么話可寫。

如果覺得無話可寫時，破解的辦法是“多回扣前文”，即盡量多地使用前文的單詞、詞塊或句子。回扣前文是一種很好的續(xù)寫手段和技巧，這樣寫出的“續(xù)寫”，不僅與前文的吻合度高，而且語言的質(zhì)量高，錯誤相對比較少。需注意的是：不能整段整段去抄前文。

下水作文(注意：有5處回扣前文)：Thenamiracle

(奇跡)

occurred.

Theboy’scorebodytemperaturewasraised

(回扣前文).

Hislipsbegantoturnred.Ialsoobservedthegentlemovementofhischestashebreathed.

Ifinallybreathedasighofreliefthat

we

broughtbackthislittleboy

(回扣前文).

Afteraboutanhour,withhiseyesclosed,theboysaidtohimself,

“Mom,

Iknowhowmuchyouloveme,soI’mnotgoingtodie.

(回扣前文)”

Theboy’smotherheldhishandfirmly,

tearsrunningdownhercheeks

(回扣前文).(77words)Watchingthescene,Imadeapromisetomyselfthatnight.

Isworethat

I’dlovemysonmorethanever,

huggingmysonbeforeleavingforwork

(回扣前文).Iknewwhatmysonneededwasalotofloveandaffection.Onlyinanenvironmentofdeepmotherlylove

couldmysongrowupmorehealthily.He’dbesomeonewithagreatloveoflife.He’dbesomeonewiththeconfidencehehadgainedfromhavingawarmandlovingfamily.

I’dcherish

thepresentmoment!Whoknew

whichwouldarrivefirst,tomorrowortheaccident?(明天和意外誰會先到呢？)

(87words)[164words]

官方范文：Thenamiracle

(奇跡)

occurred.

Thelittleboy’sheartbegantobeat.Slowlyatfirstandthenmoresteadily.Intenminutes,hiscolorturnedabeautifulshadeofpinkandhispupilsbecamereactive.Alldoctorsandnursespresentwerewildwithdelight.Andreliefsweptovermybodyandtearsstreameddownmyface.IwasinaweknowingIhadreceivedaveryspecialinvitationtowitnessamiracle.WhenItoldthegoodnewstohisparents,theywerechokedwithtearsandcouldn’twaittoseetheirson.(88words)Watchingthescene,Imadeapromisetomyselfthatnight.

ApromisetoneveragainletadaygobywhenIdidn’thugmysonandtellhimthatIlovedhim.HewouldneverleavethisEarthwithoutknowinghowmuchIlovedhim.Itnolongermatteredifhereturnedmyloveorifhepushedmeaway.Ijustwantedhimtobehealthyandgrowupinanenvironmentsurroundedbylove.Inthemonthsandyearsthatfollowed,Ikeptmypromise.Hehasdoneverywellandistodayaveryhappy,lovinglittleboy.(92words)[180words]默寫版：Thenamiracle

(奇跡)

occurred.

Thelittleboy’sheartbegantobeat._______________________________開始慢慢地，然后更穩(wěn)定。______________________________________________________________________________十分鐘后，他的顏色變成了美麗的粉紅色，他的瞳孔變得反應(yīng)遲鈍。Alldoctorsandnursespresentwerewildwithdelight._____________________________________我如釋重負，淚流滿面。IwasinaweknowingIhadreceivedaveryspecialinvitationtowitnessamiracle.______________________________________________________________________________________當(dāng)我把這個好消息告訴他的父母時，他們淚流滿面，迫不及待地想見到他們的兒子。(88words)Watchingthescene,Imadeapromisetomyselfthatnight.

______________________________________________________________承諾再也不會讓我不擁抱兒子并告訴他我愛他的那一天過去.HewouldneverleavethisEarthwithoutknowinghowmuchIlovedhim._____________________________________