【課件】2024浙江首考讀后續(xù)寫作文課件

讀

后

續(xù)

寫2024屆浙江省1月首考害怕長跑的“路癡”---實現(xiàn)小目標(biāo)，完成大任務(wù)故事設(shè)定：高中的第一周??可預(yù)判主題與“適應(yīng)新環(huán)境”有關(guān)

主要矛盾：find

herwayinthehugeschoolbuilding在偌大的校園中容易迷路，感到陌生

語言點：keepone’sheadabovewater勉強維持清醒Evaspentthefirstweekofhighschooltryingtokeepherheadabovewater.Oneofthemajorheadachesforherwasfindingherwayinthehugeschoolbuilding.Itwasasix-storybuilding.Oneachfloor,hallwaysstretchedinfourdirections,leadingtoclassrooms,laboratories,andteachers’offices.Somewhereinthebuilding,therewasalsoalibrary,acafeteria,andagym.困難：主人公Eva方向感差

矛盾沖突點：自我設(shè)限，決定只記得教室，不探索學(xué)校的其余地方。Havingapoorsenseofdirection,Evafounditimpossibletogetaroundinsuchahugebuilding.Allthedifferenthallwaysandroomsweretoomuchtothinkabout,letalonecommittomemory.Shedecidedthatshewouldmemorizewhereherclasseswereandthenpretendthattherestoftheplacedidn’texist.支線任務(wù)：體育課上要求跑1公里，這也是Eva感到害怕和無法完成/做好的事。

語言點：track跑道InherfirstP.E.class,EvawasshockedwhenCoachPittannouncedthateveryonehadtorunonemilearoundthetrackoutside.Shesearchedthefacesofherclassmatesforsignsofpanic.Therewasnothingshefearedmorethanhavingtorunawholemile.ToEva,“amile”wasusedtodescribelongdistances.Itwastenmilesfromherhometohergrandfather’s,andthatalwaysseemedlikealongway,eveninacar!先抑后揚，主人公預(yù)判自己一定是倒一，續(xù)寫處可寫出她取得了意料之外的成績。

語言點：edgeahead領(lǐng)先；beleftinthedust同學(xué)們都絕塵而去，她被落在后面WhenCoachPittblewhiswhistle(哨子),Evafiguredshewouldbeleftinthedust.However,whilesomeofherclassmatesedgedahead,othersactuallyfellbehind.“It’sjustthebeginning,”shethought.“I’llcomeinlastforsure.”情節(jié)進展：當(dāng)Eva疲憊無法堅持時，她開始做自己的心里工作，把路程分解，每一次跑一段路，不知不覺就跑完4圈了。

語言點：lap一圈SoonEvabegantobreathehard,withherheartpoundingandlegsshaking.Feelingdesperate,Evastartedusingamindtrickonherself.Shestoppedthinkingabouttheword“mile.”Instead,shefocusedonreachingtheshadoweastonthetrackbyanoaktreeupahead.Thensheconcentratedonjoggingtothespotwherethetrackcurved(拐彎).Afterthat,shetriedtoseeifshecouldcompleteherfirstlap.Onelapturnedintotwo,thenthree,thenfour.主題語境：人與自我主題：成長類主題意義：超越自我話題：使用心術(shù)，克服恐懼Paragraph1:WhenCoachPittsaid“Nicework!toheratthefinishline,Evawassurprised.Paragraph2:Evadecidedtousethesametricktodealwiththeschoolbuilding.我們可以理解為面對問題——找到方法——實現(xiàn)成長。按照角色的成長歷程，我們可以將其分為三部分：

自我擺爛——自我領(lǐng)悟——自我蛻變。續(xù)寫框架搭建(不唯一):

Paragraph1:WhenCoachPittsaid“Nicework!toheratthefinishline,Evawassurprised.[Eva]驚訝的內(nèi)容具體解釋CoachPitt和其他同學(xué)們]都祝賀Eva，鼓掌鼓勵[Eva]的反應(yīng):原來自已還可以這樣做成功一件事情[銜接]Eva把這次成功經(jīng)驗和教學(xué)樓迷路聯(lián)系起來Paragraph2:Evadecidedtousethesametricktodealwiththeschoolbuilding.[Eva]立刻開始行動[結(jié)果]通過這個方法，Eva終于熟悉了整個教學(xué)樓[結(jié)尾升華]從自我設(shè)限、路癡膽小到變得勇敢、不再路癡，順利融入高中生活分句寫作:

Paragraphl:WhenCoachPittsaid“Nicework!"toheratthefinishline.Evawas

surpfisea.[Eva]驚訝的內(nèi)容具體解釋+[CoachPitt和其他同學(xué)們]都祝賀Eva，鼓掌鼓勵思考:Eva具體驚訝什么呢?—————————————————————————————不知不覺中完成了比賽，還跑了不錯的名次“CanitbetruethatIfinishedamileandwonthethirdprize?Ihavesurelynotbeendreaming

haveI?Evamurmuredtoherself,disbelieflingeringuntilshesawCoachPitt'sthumbs-upand

heardtheclaps.[Eva]的反應(yīng):原來自己還可以這樣做成功一件事情“Imadeit!”shethought,amixofastonishmentandnewfoundconfidencesurgingthroughherbody.Afantasticfeeling.previouslyunfamiliar,tookrootinherheart.直接聯(lián)系起來:Onherwaybacktotheclassroom,Evacouldn'tresistreplayinghervictoryoverthemileinthePEclass.Whensheapproachedthesix-storybuilding.sheslowedherpace,raisinghereyestotheoaktreesaround.Anideablossomedinhermind[銜接]Eva把這次成功經(jīng)驗和教學(xué)樓迷路聯(lián)系起來

[Eva]立刻開始行動

思考:Eva具體會有哪些行動?

不記具體的目標(biāo)位置，相反，記路線中有趣的標(biāo)志或者目標(biāo)位置附近的有趣的標(biāo)志，一步步完成任務(wù)Withoutdelay,shesprangintoaction.Duringthesubsequentweeks,thegirldiscoveredaShakespearesculpturethatcouldserveasamarkerguidingher

tothelibrary.Thelonghallwaydecoratedwithsomecelebrities'picturesleadingtothelaboratory

andevenadistinctiveshapeofshadowneartheteachers’officesbecameadditionalcuesin

herself-madetreasuremap[結(jié)果]通過這個方法，Eva終于熟悉了整個教學(xué)樓ItturnedoutthatwhenEvaleftthegrandmissionbehindandinsteadfocusedon

observingthevarioussignsaround,thestructureoftheconstruction,asifbymagic,seemedto

unfoldin