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書面表達(dá):續(xù)寫2023年全國(guó)I卷讀后續(xù)寫(滿分25分)閱讀下面材料,根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段,使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。WhenIwasinmiddleschool,mysocialstudiesteacheraskedmetoenterawritingcontest,Isaidnowithoutthinking.Ididnotlovewriting.MyfamilycamefromBrazil,soEnglishwasonlymysecondlanguage.WritingwassodifficultandpainfulformethatmyteacherhadallowedmetopresentmypaperonthesinkingoftheTitanicbyactingoutaplay,whereIplayedalltheparts.Noonelaughedharderthanhedid.So,whydidhesuddenlyforcemetodosomethingatwhichIwassuretofail?Hisreply:“BecauseIloveyourstories.Ifyou’rewillingtoapplyyourself,Ithinkyouhaveagoodshotatthis.”Encouragedbyhiswords,Iagreedtogiveitatry.IchosePaulRevere’shorseasmysubject.PaulReverewasasilversmith(銀匠)inBostonwhorodeahorseatnightonApril18,1775toLexingtontowarnpeoplethatBritishsoldierswerecoming.Mystorywouldcomestraightfromthehorse’smouth.Notabrilliantidea,butfunny,andunlikelytobeanyoneelse’schoice.Whatdidthehorsethink,asspedthroughthenight?Didhegettired?Havedoubts?Didhewanttoquit?Isympathizedimmediately.Igottired.Ihaddoubts.Iwantedtoquit.But,likerevere’shorse,Ikeptgoing.Iworkedhard.Icheekedmyspelling.Iaskedmyoldersistertocorrectmygrammar.Icheckedoutahalf-dozenbooksonpaulReverefromthelibrary.Ievenreadafewofthem.WhenIhandedintheessaytomyteacher,hereadit,laughedoutloudandsaid,“Great.Now,writeitagain.”Iwroteitagain,andagainandagain.WhenIfinallyfinishedit,thethoughtofwinninghadgivenwaytotheenjoymentofwriting.IfIdidn’twin.Iwouldn’tcare.注意:1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150個(gè)左右;2.請(qǐng)按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。Afewweekslater,whenIalmostforgotthecontest,therecamethenews.
Iwenttomyteacher’officeaftertheawardpresentation.讀后續(xù)寫高考評(píng)分原則1.本題總分為25分,按五個(gè)檔次進(jìn)行評(píng)分。2.評(píng)分時(shí),應(yīng)主要從內(nèi)容、詞匯語法和篇章結(jié)構(gòu)三個(gè)方面考慮,具體為:
(1)創(chuàng)造內(nèi)容的質(zhì)量,續(xù)寫的完整性以及與原文情境的融洽度。
(2)使用詞匯和語法結(jié)構(gòu)的準(zhǔn)確性、恰當(dāng)性和多樣性。
(3)上下文的銜接和全文的連貫性。3.評(píng)分時(shí),先根據(jù)作答的整體情況初步確定其所屬檔次,然后以該檔次的要求來綜合衡量,確定或調(diào)整檔次,最后給分。4.評(píng)分時(shí)還應(yīng)注意:
(1)詞數(shù)少于120的,酌情扣分。
(2)單詞拼寫和標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號(hào)是寫作規(guī)范的重要方面,評(píng)分時(shí)應(yīng)視其對(duì)交際的影
響程度予以考慮。英、美拼寫及詞匯用法均可接受。
(3)書寫較差以致影響交際的,酌情扣分。續(xù)寫評(píng)分參考【各檔次的給分范圍和要求】第五檔:(20—25分)1)創(chuàng)造了豐富、合理的內(nèi)容,富有邏輯性,續(xù)寫完整,與原文情境融洽度高。2)使用了恰當(dāng)且多樣的詞匯和語法結(jié)構(gòu),可能有個(gè)別小錯(cuò),但完全不影響理解。3)有效地使用了語句間銜接手段,全文結(jié)構(gòu)清晰,意義連貫。第四檔:(16—20分)1)創(chuàng)造了比較豐富、合理的內(nèi)容,比較有邏輯性,續(xù)寫比較完整,與原文情境融合度較高。2)使用了比較恰當(dāng)、多樣的詞匯和語法結(jié)構(gòu),可能有些許錯(cuò)誤,但不影響理解。3)比較有效地使用了語句間銜接手段,全文結(jié)構(gòu)比較清晰,意義比較連貫。Afewweekslater,whenIalmostforgotthecontest,therecamethenews.Completelyoutofmyexpectation,Iwonthefirstprizeinthecontest.Mysisterpattedonmyshouldergently,smiledandsaid,"Youdeserveit.Nowlet'sgoandgettheaward."Duringtheawardpresentation,theschoolhallwasfilledwiththecrowds.Themomentthehostcalledoutmyname,Isteppedontothestage,withmylegstrembling.MemoriesaboutRevere'shorsefloodedovermymind,Iwasoverwhelmedbycuriosityandconfusion."Howcouldsuchafunnystorywinthefirstprize?"Iaskedmyselfsoftly.Iwenttomyteacher'sofficeaftertheawardpresentation.Iexpressedmygratitudeandmyconfusiontohim.Hearingmywords,hegavemeatoothysmilewhichmademerelaxed.Thenheexplainedinagentlevoice,"Throughyouressay,alljudgesfoundthehorsehard-working,patient,andnevergiveup,whichisjustlikeyou.What'smore,anessaydoesn'tneedtobeserious,itneedstobecreative,andyouressayreachedthestandard."Hiswordsdeeplytouchedme.ItistruethatIcankeeppassionateaboutwritingwithmyimagination第五檔作文
20-25分檔(23分)第四檔作文
16-20分檔(18分)Afewweekslater,whenIalmostforgotthecontest,therecamethenews.Mystorywontheaward.Thatincrediblyamazedme.Idneverthoughtmywritingswouldgetawards.Didnttheyfeelthestorystrange?Istillsearchedforthereasons.ButIfailed.Suddenly,someoneannouncedmetoparticipateintheawardpresentation.Alongtheway,Iwasoverwhalmedbyafloodofjoy.Hearingtheapplause,Irealizedthatitwasn't
adream.ItwasrealWriting,whichmademefeeldifficultandhardpast,promotedmetowintheawardnow.Iwassoproudofmyself.Iwenttomyteacher'sofficeaftertheawardpresentation.Atthefirstsightofme,myteachercouldn'tcontrolhissmile.Awildjoyspreadacrosshisface.Hehuggedmetightly,saying"Iknowyoucoulddoit.Everyonewassurprisedwhentheysawyourstory,whichcamestraightfromthehorse'smouth."Iwassoglad.Throughthisexperience,I'dknownthat
writingnotonlyboradenedmyhonzens,butalsolitupmythoughts.Iwouldbeappreciatedthatwritingtaughtmealotofthings,notthroughtheresults,butthroughtheprocess.What'smore,Imustexpressmygratitudetomyteacher.Itwasmyteacherwhoencouragedmetowriteandgavemeconfidence.Ireallythankedhim.【各檔次的給分范圍和要求】第三檔:(11—15分)1)創(chuàng)造了基本合理的內(nèi)容,有一定的邏輯性,續(xù)寫基本完整,與原文情境相關(guān)。2)使用了簡(jiǎn)單的詞匯和語法結(jié)構(gòu),有一些錯(cuò)誤或不恰當(dāng)之處,但基本不影響理解3)基本有效地使用了語句間銜接手段,全文結(jié)構(gòu)基本清晰,意義基本連貫。第二檔:(6—10分)1)內(nèi)容或邏輯上有一些重大問題,續(xù)寫不夠完整,與原文情境有一定程度脫節(jié)。2)所使用的詞匯有限,語法結(jié)構(gòu)單調(diào),錯(cuò)誤較多,影響理解。3)未能有效地使用語句間銜接手段,全文結(jié)構(gòu)不夠清晰,意義不夠連貫。Afewweekslater,whenIaimostforgotthecontest,therecamethenews.Isurprislywonthefirstprize,whichIneverdreamedbefore!ItalmostlikedreamingwhenIwasattendtheawardpresentation.Myworkbecameaboominthecontestandalargenumberofpeopleconsidermyselfasawriterwhohasthegifttoachievemoreinfuture.IwassohappythatmyvoicebecamesheakingwhenIsharedmywork,ifIhavechoices,IthinkIwoulddecidedtostayatthatsecondforever.Ijustcan'thelptosharemywildhappnesswithmyteacher.Afterall,hehelpedmetofindmycourageback.Iwenttomytencher'sofficeaftertheawardpresentation.Tomysurprise,helookedclam,"whatmakesyousuccessinyouropenion?"Heaskedme.“TheideaofchosePeaul‘sharseasthesubject,ofcourse.”Iansweredquickly.Buthejustshookhisheadslowlyandsaid."No."BeforeIspokesomethingmove,headded:"Thetrulysecretthatbringyouthegoaliskeptworkinghard,justthinkinghowmanytimeyouhavespendinthecontest.Thepriceisn’teverything,butthehardworkingissomething."Ifinallyunderstoodwhyheaskedmetoattendthecontest.Iwillkeptthislessonforalifelongtime.第三檔作文
11-15分檔(13分)第二檔作文
6-10分檔(8分)Afewweekslater,whenIalmostforgotthecontest,therecamethenews.Igetfirst?”IwassohappyandunbelievablethatIaskother.HearingtheiranswerwasYes.Ijumpedupanddown.andshoutedtoshowmyexcitement.Aswinner,Iwasledtoschooltoadoptmyawardpresentationnextday.Attheschoolhall,allstudentsandteacherssatunderthetabletohearthewinner'sstory.Andthen,Icamethehalltogetmyprize.Meanwhile,thehosterhadsaid,"Wechoosehimaswinnernotonlyhisstoryisfond,butalsohiswritingisbestinthealljoiner."Listentotheword,IwasmoreconfidentwhichIhaven'tbefore.Iwenttomyteacher'sofficeaftertheawardpresentation.Lookingatmycoming,helaughedandsaid."Ididn'tmiss,Youarethebesthard-workeradmostfunnypersonIhavesaw."Listentohisword,myearsbecamehotandrad."ItisyourhelpthatIcangetthisachievement!"Isaidbyheart."No!Isyourhardandgiftachievedyou.I'mjustgiveyouaplattoshowyourself"Theteachersaidwithsmile.NowIwasafamousnovelistintheworld.
Myfunnynovelspreadatallcountries.AlthoughIwaswritingbetterthanbefore.IstillleavethePaulRevere,Becauseitgavemyconfidencetowalkmyfirststep.【各檔次的給分范圍和要求】第一檔:(1—5分)1)內(nèi)容或邏輯上有較多重大問題,或有部分內(nèi)容抄自原文,續(xù)寫不完整,與原文情境基本脫節(jié)。所使用的詞匯有限,語法結(jié)構(gòu)單調(diào),錯(cuò)誤很多,嚴(yán)重影響理解。3)幾乎沒有使用語句間銜接手段,全文結(jié)構(gòu)不清晰,意義不連貫。不得分:(0分)未作答:所寫內(nèi)容太少或無法看清以致無法評(píng)判;所寫內(nèi)容全部抄自原文或與題目要求完全不相關(guān)。第一檔作文
1-5分檔(3分)Afewweekslater,whenIalmostforgotthecontest,therecame
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