讀后續(xù)寫+綠山墻的安妮：另類的調味品 高三英語二輪復習寫作專項

Analternativeflavouring長望瀏寧平一模讀后續(xù)寫講評CONTENTS010203HEADLINEHEREThoughtforcustomerservice"isthesacredmissionofhidesign.考題分析類似話題遷移語言表述積累01考題分析Wednesdaymorningcame.Annegotupatsunrisebecauseshewastooexcitedtosleep.SheplannedtomakeacakeforMrsAllan,thebestteachershehadevermet,whowasinvitedoverforatteaparty.Whenshefinallyshuttheovendoor,shetookalongbreath.“I'msureIhaven'tforgottenanythingthistime,Marilla.Butdoyouthinkitwillrise?Whatifthatcakedoesn'trise?”“We'llhaveplentywithoutit,"wasMarilla'suninterestedwayoflookingat,thesubject.Thecakedidrise,however,andcameoutoftheovenlookingperfect.Annewasred-facedwithdelightand,inimagination,sawMrsAllaneatingitandpossiblyaskingforanotherpiece!MrsAllanarrivedandtheyallenjoyedalovelytea.EverythingwentwelluntilAnne'scakewaspassed.MrsAllan,havingalreadybeenhelpedtoalotofdesserts,declinedit.ButMarilla,seeingthedisappointmentonAnne'sface,saidsmilingly:“Oh,youmusttakeapiece,MrsAllan.Annemadeitspeciallyforyou,expectingthatyouwouldloveit.”“InthatcaseImusttryit,"laughedMrsAllan.Shetookamouthfulandastrangeexpressioncrossedherface;notaworddidshesay,however,butcontinuedeating.Marillasawthisandhastened(急忙)totastethecake.“AnneShirley!"sheshouted,“whatonearthdidyouputintothatcake?Whatflavoringdidyouuse?”“Vanilla(香草精),onlyvanilla."saidAnne.“Goandbringmethebottleofvanillayouused.”AnnereturnedwithasmallbottleandMarillatookitandsmelledit.“Mercyonus.Anne,you'veflavoredthatcakewithANODYNELINIMENT(鎮(zhèn)痛劑).Whycouldn'tyouhavesmelledit?”Ashamedofhermistake,Anneburstintotearsandfledtoherroom.SoonalightstepsoundedonthestairsahdMrsAllanenteredtheroom.________________WhenMrsAllanleft,AnneturnedtoMarilla.____________________________________1.不懂alightstepsoundedonthestair的意思，導致首段情節(jié)構思錯誤；2.沒有厘清Anne和Marrilla的人物關系，導致第二段情節(jié)構思錯誤；3.結尾缺少對主題的提煉和升華?？紙鲆族e點：

NarrativeplotthemeperspectivesettingscharactersElementsofnarrativewritingAnneMrsAllanMarillaWednesdaymorningAthometomakeacakeforMrsAllanAnnewhomadeacakeforherteacherflavouredthatcakewithanodyneliniment(鎮(zhèn)痛劑)insteadofvanilla(香草精).ReadforSettings:ReadforCharactersAnne:

Annegotupatsunrisebecauseshewastooexcitedtosleep.SheplannedtomakeacakeforMrsAllan.

Annewasred-facedwithdelightand,inimagination,sawMrsAllaneatingitandpossiblyaskingforanotherpiece!Ashamedofhermistake,Anneburstintotearsandfledtoherroom.Marrilla:

EverythingwentwelluntilAnne'scakewaspassed.MrsAllan,havingalreadybeenhelpedtoalotofdesserts,declinedit.ButMarilla,seeingthedisappointmentonAnne'sface,saidsmilingly:“Oh,youmusttakeapiece,MrsAllan.Annemadeitspeciallyforyou,expectingthatyouwouldloveit.”Mrs.Allan:

“InthatcaseImusttryit,"laughedMrsAllan.Shetookamouthfulandastrangeexpressioncrossedherface;notaworddidshesay,however,butcontinuedeating.Marillasawthisandhastened(急忙)totastethecake.

SoonalightstepsoundedonthestairsahdMrsAllanenteredtheroom._____agirlwhoislovelyandgratefulforlifeacaringwomanateacherwhoisconsiderableandrespectablebeginningclimaxendingAction：Anne,Marilla,MrsAllanEmotion：MayaWednesdaymorningWhathappened?Emotions?whenMrs.AllancameoverAnnegotupatsunriseandplannedtomakeacakeforMrsAllan.Mrs.Allandeclinedthecakebecauseshehadeatenalotofdesserts.Shetookamouthfulandastrangeexpressioncrossedherface.ashamedSoonalightstepsoundedonthestairsahdMrsAllanenteredtheroom.excitedThecakecameoutoftheovenlookingperfect.delightedWhenMrsAllanleft,AnneturnedtoMarilla.ReadforplotsAftertheteatimeAnneflavouredthatcakewithanodynelinimentinsteadofvanilla.disappointednervousPara1:

SoonalightstepsoundedonthestairsahdMrsAllanenteredtheroom.時間：空間：主要人物：關鍵情節(jié)：Para2:WhenMrsAllanleft,AnneturnedtoMarilla.home.時間：空間：主要人物：關鍵事件：WhentheywerechattingIntheroomMrsAllan,AnnePlot1.WhatdidMrsAllansay?Plot2.HowdidAnnerespondandfeel?Plot3.WhatdecisiondidAnnemake?WhenAnneandMarillaweretalkingIntheroomPlot1.WhydidAnneturnedtoMarilla?Plot2.WhatwouldAnnesaytoMarilla?Plot3.Whatwastheending?Anne,MarillaWednesdaymorningcame.Annegotupatsunrisebecauseshewastooexcitedtosleep.SheplannedtomakeacakeforMrsAllan,thebestteachershehadevermet,whowasinvitedoverforatteaparty.Whenshefinallyshuttheovendoor,shetookalongbreath.“I'msureIhaven'tforgottenanythingthistime,Marilla.Butdoyouthinkitwillrise?Whatifthatcakedoesn'trise?”“We'llhaveplentywithoutit,"wasMarilla'suninterestedwayoflookingat,thesubject.Thecakedidrise,however,andcameoutoftheovenlookingperfect.Annewasred-facedwithdelightand,inimagination,sawMrsAllaneatingitandpossiblyaskingforanotherpiece!MrsAllanarrivedandtheyallenjoyedalovelytea.EverythingwentwelluntilAnne'scakewaspassed.MrsAllan,havingalreadybeenhelpedtoalotofdesserts,declinedit.ButMarilla,seeingthedisappointmentonAnne'sface,saidsmilingly:“Oh,youmusttakeapiece,MrsAllan.Annemadeitspeciallyforyou,expectingthatyouwouldloveit.”“InthatcaseImusttryit,"laughedMrsAllan.Shetookamouthfulandastrangeexpressioncrossedherface;notaworddidshesay,however,butcontinuedeating.Marillasawthisandhastened(急忙)totastethecake.“AnneShirley!"sheshouted,“whatonearthdidyouputintothatcake?Whatflavoringdidyouuse?”“Vanilla(香草精),onlyvanilla."saidAnne.“Goandbringmethebottleofvanillayouused.”AnnereturnedwithasmallbottleandMarillatookitandsmelledit.“Mercyonus.Anne,you'veflavoredthatcakewithANODYNELINIMENT(鎮(zhèn)痛劑).Whycouldn'tyouhavesmelledit?”Ashamedofhermistake,Anneburstintotearsandfledtoherroom.原文伏筆點Theme:selfgrowthClue:Intheroom,AnnemadeacakeforherrespectableteacherMrsAllan.However,AnnemadeamistakethatsheflavouredthecakewithANODYNELINIMENT(鎮(zhèn)痛劑).Ending:Agirlwhowaslovelyandgratefulforlifelearnedfromherexperienceandgotadmirationfromherteacher.ReadforTheme

Soon

a

light

step

sounded

on

the

stairs

andMrsAllanenteredtheroom.Hearingthefootstepapproaching,Annedidn'tevendaretowatchMrsAllanintheeye,weepinginregret.

“It'sjustafunnymistakethatanybodywouldmake.

I

appreciateyourkindnessandthoughtfulness.I’dliketotryagainnexttimeyoumakeacake!”said

Allan,as

she

huggedAnne

gently.

Somethingvital,motivated,leapedfromAllantoAnneatthetouchof

herwarmarms.Needlesstosay,Annewasdeeplymoved,especiallyMrsAllan,theteachershelikedbest,whoshowedappreciationforher.AninnervoicetoldAnnethatsheshouldmakeacakeagain.WhenMrs

Allan

left,Anne

turnedto

Marilla.

“

I’llnevermakethesamemistaketwice.”

MarillahadbeenworriedaboutAnneandwasregrettedofhercruelwords,

buthearingthis,shebreathedasighofreliefandapologizedtoAnne.“So,let'swaitforaperfectcake.”Havingmadethecaketogether,AllanandMarillaimmediatelysentittoMrsAllan.Seeingthecake,MrsAllanwastouchedbeyondwords,withtearswellingupinhereyesinaflash.ShepattedAnneonhershoulderandinvitedhertohavedinnertogether.Annefeltlikeshewasfloatinginanoceanofhappinessforshegotherfavouriteteacher’sinvitation.Shealsorealizedfromherexperiencethattheultimatesuccessdependsoneverydetailthatseem

sinsignificant.范文賞析

Soon

a

light

step

sounded

on

the

stairs

andMrsAllanenteredtheroom.Hearingthefootstepapproaching,Annedidn'tevendaretowatchMrsAllanintheeye,weepinginregret.

“It'sjustafunnymistakethatanybodywouldmake.

I

appreciateyourkindnessandthoughtfulness.

I’dliketotryagainnexttimeyoumakeacake!”said

Allan,as

she

huggedAnne

gently.

Somethingvital,motivated,leapedfromAllantoAnneatthetouchof

herwarmarms.Needlesstosay,Annewasdeeplymoved,especiallyMrsAllan,theteachershelikedbest,whoshowedappreciationforher.AninnervoicetoldAnnethatsheshouldmakeacakeagain.WhenMrs

Allan

left,Anne

turnedto

Marilla.

“

I’llnevermakethesamemistaketwice.”

MarillahadbeenworriedaboutAnneandwasregrettedofhercruelwords,

buthearingthis,shebreathedasighofreliefandapologizedtoAnne.“So,let'swaitforaperfectcake.”Havingmadethecaketogether,AllanandMarillaimmediatelysentittoMrsAllan.Seeingthecake,MrsAllanwastouchedbeyondwords,withtearswellingupinhereyesinaflash.ShepattedAnneonhershoulderandinvitedhertohavedinnertogether.Annefeltlikeshewasfloatinginanoceanofhappinessforshegotherfavouriteteacher’sinvitation.Shealsorealizedfromherexperiencethattheultimatesuccessdependsoneverydetailthatseem

sinsignificant.原文伏筆照應02類似話題遷移（成長感悟類）成長感悟類續(xù)寫經典考題列舉1.2021廣二模用雙手實現自己的夢想2.2021年4月寧波二模

一只手表帶來的啟發(fā)3.

重慶市高2023屆高三第一次質量檢測為打碎傳家寶向Missi媽媽道歉4.遼寧省名校聯盟2022年高三9月份聯合考試勇敢在眾人面前朗讀自己的作品成長感悟續(xù)寫考題分析Growth

成長感悟篇類的續(xù)寫文章一般屬于人與自我的主題語境。

整個世界中，靜止是相對的，而運動是絕對的。對于個人來說，個人的成長就是一個絕對的過程。個人成長是了解自我、完善自我、開發(fā)自我潛能的持續(xù)過程。

根據新課程標準，人與自我主題語境下包括兩大主題群：生活與學習；做人與做事。因此在讀后續(xù)寫中，個人的成長不僅涉及到知識層面上，更多涉及到情感、態(tài)度和價值觀(含品德)。語篇往往是學生比較熟悉的場景：學校生活、家庭生活及工作（勞動）場景。最終的升華指向：健康的生活方式，積極的生活態(tài)度，完善的自我,優(yōu)秀的品行及更好的規(guī)劃(學習,生活和職業(yè))。

按照情節(jié)的發(fā)展，語篇分為三個階段。成長感悟續(xù)寫考題分析Growth

按照情節(jié)的發(fā)展，語篇分為三個階段。階段情節(jié)重點成長前的困擾情境描寫+消極情緒的累積→高潮成長中的蛻變成長的動機+過程中變化的心情。成長后的升華成長后的收獲+積極情緒(喜悅、滿足和驕傲等)03語言表述積累

一、成長前的情境描寫：1、成長前：遇到困難/挑戰(zhàn)1)無意打碎傳家寶的場景（重慶市高2023屆高三第一次質量檢測）Thesoundofglassbreakingisinstantlyrecognizable.I’dbeentellingmybestfriendMissiasillystoryandhadspunaroundinthelivingroom（在客廳里旋轉）whenIheardthatsoundandfroze.WhenIlookeddownatthecarpet,itwascoveredwithpiecesofsparklingred,pinkandclearglass（鋪滿閃亮的紅的、粉紅的透明玻璃）.2)孤獨的場景（遼寧省名校聯盟2022年高三9月份聯合考試）Miafollowedtheotherkidsandrushedintothehallway.Otherswalkedingroups,chatted,andlaughed,usingthebreaktosocialize.Mia,instead,walkedalonealongthewallofthehallway（沿著走廊的墻邊孤獨地走著）,withherheaddown（低著頭）.Shewasashygirl,afraidtospeakinfrontofotherkids,anddidn'tthinkotherswouldlikeher.FunwasfarbeyondwhatMiadesired.Shejustwantedtobelikeotherkids—runningwithfriendsinthehallway,laughingandjokingbetweenclasses（在課間笑著鬧著）.Remindedofherpimply(長粉刺的)face,shefelthopelessanddisappointed（感到絕望和失望）.

二、成長前的情緒描寫：孤獨：Inevermadefriendseasily,andforatimeIdidlittlemorethangetonspeakingtermswithsomeboys.（2021年4月寧波二模）傷心：1.我在口袋里什么也沒發(fā)現，這個事實就像一把長矛刺進我的心臟，立刻開始流血。Ifoundnothinginmypocket,afactthatseemedlikeaspearpiercingintomyheartwhichstartedtobleedimmediately.（2021年4月寧波二模）2.我焦急地幾乎哭了起來。（2021年4月寧波二模）Lookingaroundanxiously,Ialmostburstintocrying.3.把它放回去，我慢慢地騎車去學校，痛苦得麻木了（2021年4月寧波二模）Puttingitback,Irodeslowlyontoschool,numbwithmisery.4.悲傷沉重地懸在空中。Sadnesshangheavilyintheair.5."That'sit?"Aramsaid,hisheartsinking（他的心沉下去了）.（2021廣二模）6.Awaveofdisappointmentstruckhim（失望如潮水般涌向他）.（2021廣二模）7.Sadnessoverwhelmedhim（悲傷淹沒了他）sosuddenlythathecouldn'tthinkofawordtosay.（2021廣二模）

二、成長前的情緒描寫：絕望：“Mymotherwouldn'tletmebringit,”Ilied,desperationboilinginsideme.我媽媽不讓我?guī)?，”我撒謊，絕望在我心中沸騰。（2021年4月寧波二模）嘲笑：他們大聲地笑著，像是在尖叫“多漂亮的破表??！”（2021年4月寧波二模）TheylaughedloudlywithCrawleyscreamingwordslike“Whatafinestbrokenwatch!”尷尬：1.尷尬把我完全包圍了。（2021年4月寧波二模）Embarrassmentenvelopedmetotally.

二、成長前的情緒描寫：驚訝：Raisinghereyebrowsinsurprise,MrsRossifroze,asifrootedontheground（仿佛定格在那里）.（2021廣二模）緊張：1."Why?WhatdidIdo?"Myfacereddened（我的臉紅了）.2."Abby,thatglassvasewasoneofthefewitemsmyrelativesbroughtwhentheycametoAmerica,Missirepliednervously（緊張地回應）.Mystomachwasinknots（我的心揪得緊緊的）.Wouldhermomyellatmeorpunishme?3.Icouldn'tstopplayingthefifteensecondsoverinmymind（我腦海里不?；胤拍?5秒）,mespinningfastandthesoundofglasscrashing.TheonlythingIcouldthinkoftosaywas“I'msorry.”（重慶市高2023屆高三第一次質量檢測）4.Miawasnervouswithherheaddown（緊張地低著頭）.Afterotherstudentsfinishedreadingthepapersonebyone,finally,itwasMia'sturn.Frozenwithfear（恐懼得手足無措）,Miastoodinfrontoftheclass,withherhandsholdingherpaper,shaking（手拿著她的試卷，在顫抖）.（遼寧省名校聯盟2022年高三9月份聯合考試）

三、成長中：解決困難/挑戰(zhàn)：1）誠實地道歉的場景：Icouldfeelmyvoiceshakingandtriednottocry（聲音顫抖，努力讓自己不哭出來）.“Whatisit,dear?"shegentlyasked,closingthedoorandwalkingclosertome.Ourhandsalmosttouched.Withhereyesstudyingme,myheartbeatfaster（她的眼睛注視著我，我的心跳得更快）.“I'msorry,”Iblurtedout（脫口而出）.“I...IwastalkingandlaughingwithMissiwhenIspunaroundandaccidentallybrokethevase.”Ifurtherexplainedthatwesavedthepiecesbuttriedinvaintofixit（試圖修復它卻失敗了）.Itstilllookedlikesmallpiecesofglass.（重慶市高2023屆高三第一次質量檢測）2）原諒他人錯誤的場景Hearingmyapology,Missi'smothereruptedintoaloudscreamofjoy（發(fā)出一聲歡樂的叫喊）.Sheembracedme,kissingmeonbothcheeks（擁抱我，親吻我的臉頰）.“Oh,thankyou!Ialwayshatedthatuglyvase.Nowit'sgone!You'vedonemeahugefavor!"hermomexclaimedwithdelight（高興地叫道）.Althoughrelievedtohaveapologized（對道了歉感到放松）,Iwasstillinshock,forthiswasnotatallthereactionIhadexpected.（重慶市高2023屆高三第一次質量檢測）

三、成長中：解決困難/挑戰(zhàn)：3）教育與成長的場景1.“That’snottherightway.Patience,Will.Patience,”avoiceechoedinmyearsaftertheboysleft.（2021年4月寧波二模）2.“Whatwasdonewasdone,”thoughtItomyself.“Whatisimportantnowistodocorrectthingsnext.”現在重要的是下一步要做正確的事情。（2021年4月寧波二模）3.盡管憤怒、尷尬和悲傷重重地籠罩在空氣中，但這個聲音還是讓我意識到我在試圖給同學留下深刻印象時犯下的錯誤。（2021年4月寧波二模）Thoughanger,embarrassmentandsadnesshungheavilyintheair,thevoicedrewmetotheawarenessofthemistakesIhadmadewhenIattemptedtoimpresstheboys.4.我不該如此匆忙的方式試圖融入，也不該把母親身后的手表偷走。（2021年4月寧波二模）Ishouldn’thavetriedtointegrateinsuchahastyway,norshouldIhavestolenthewatchbehindmymother.5.放學后，我會誠實地告訴媽媽，我偷了手表是為了給那些不是我真正朋友的朋友留下好印象。（2021年4月寧波二模）Afterschool,IwouldtellmymotherhonestlythatIhadstolenthewatchouttoimpressfriendswhoturnedoutnottobemytruefriends.四、成長后：成功/收獲場景描寫1）對人更加寬容和包容Itwasn'tuntilIreachedmyadultyearsthatIrecognizedwhataprofoundgifthermother'sgenerosityinwelcom