讀后續(xù)寫 濰坊二模：人與自然-救助一只小鳥講義 高三英語寫作專項

閱讀下面材料、根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構成一篇完整的短文。WhenIarrivedhomefromschoolnightwasfalling.Acallcamefromthepublic:abirdofunknownspecieswasbeingattackedbyagroupofnoisychildreninhisfrontgarden.Hescaredthemoffandgrabbedtheirvictim.IimmediatelycalledformyclassmateJacktothespot.Wewerestandinginfrontofastranger’shouseinanunfamiliarstreet,rescueboxinhand.Myheadfullofinstructionstofollow.“Thebirdwouldbeourfirsttestasavolunteerwildliferescuer!”Jacksaidexcitedly.Wehadcompletedthetwo-dayintensivetrainingcoursethepreviousmonthandlearnedthebasicskillsofrescuinganimalsinvarioussituations.Butwewereanxious,too.Afterall,itwasthefirstlimeforustorescueabird.WouldIbeabletotransferthebirdneatlyintomyrescuebox?Manyworriesflashedinmymind.Sensingmyuneaseabouttheactahead,Jacksaid,“Thesethingsareprettyeasytodealwith!”Iwaswonderingwhatkindofbirditwaswhenakind-lookingmanappearedandledusinsidetoseeourveryfirstpatient.Iliftedtheedgeoftheshoeboxveryslightlytoseeanangry-lookingbirdstandingloattentiononverythinandlonglegs,togetherwithasliceofbananaandasmalldishofwater.Hedidn’tknowitstruenamebutthefolkscalledthecreatureRedFan.“It’seatensomebanana,”saidthemanproudly.Thepoorsoulseemedrathernervous,soIdecidednottograbitbyhandbutjusttransferthewholeshoeboxintomyrescuebox.Backhome,wecouldonlyseesomeminorinjuriesintheleftwing,buttherewasnobloodonitsfeathers.Jackmanagedtotreattheinjurieswithsomeiodophor（碘伏藥水）.Weassesseditsconditiontofindoutifitwasappropriatetoreleasethebirdthenextday.Howcouldwehelpitspendthenightpeacefully?Wehadn’tseenthisspeciesofbirdbefore,letaloneitshabits.注意：1.

續(xù)寫詞數(shù)要求應為150左右；2.

請按如下格式在答題卡的相應位置作答。“WhynotdoasearchontheInternet?”suggestedJack.Thenextday,weweregladtoseethebirdwaswellenough.試題分析:這是--篇記敘文。文章敘述了作者和同班同學Jack利用他們所學的救援野生動物知識和技能成功救助了--只受傷的小鳥的故事。本寫作符合當今新時代下愛護動物、熱愛自然、與自然和動物和諧相處的社會主義核心價值觀，適合高中學生寫作。五要素分析：When--onenight;thenextdaywhere--inastreet;attheauthor'shomeWho--主要人物:l;Jack;thebird;次要人物:thepublic;children;astranger;amanWhy--Abirdwashurtbysomechildren.What--andJacktookaninjuredbirdbacktohometocare.主次人物分析:根據(jù)原文和續(xù)寫兩段首勾可知是續(xù)寫第--段的主要人物第二段續(xù)寫的主要人物也應該是為全文的主要事件是圍繞救助傷鳥展開的。人物情感和性格分析根據(jù)文本第-一段最后-一句IimmediatelycalledformyclassmateJacktothespot，可以看出作者和Jack都是非常善良的孩子，根據(jù)第三段最后-一句可知，Jack還是-位細心的孩子:根據(jù)第五段的描述可知，作者和Jack都是富有同情心的孩子。故綜合分析，可判斷出作者和Jack均是且是的孩子。故續(xù)寫部分也應該星現(xiàn)作者和的性格特點。場景分析：根據(jù)第--、五段中的home和續(xù)寫第--段的首句可知，續(xù)寫第--段的故事--定發(fā)生在戶外，再結合第二段的首句可知，續(xù)寫第二段應該主要發(fā)生在家里，因為作者要照顧小動物。動作分析根據(jù)第五段的描述，可知作者和Jack把小鳥帶回家中并對其進行了仔細檢查和簡單的傷口處理，但他們并不知該如何護理它。再結合給文第二段中作者想成為野生動物救援志愿者和他們所學到了救援知識，以及續(xù)寫第-一段的首“WhynotdoasearchontheInternet?’suggestedJack可我初續(xù)寫第--段應該設計作者和Jack的-一些動作。結合第二段段首句Thenextday,weweregladtoseethebirdwaswellenough可知，續(xù)寫第二段可設計的救助小鳥的一些動作。心理活動分析續(xù)寫給文中對作者和Jack的心理描寫較少，僅有第三段中anxious，worries和unease等詞，從這些詞中可以看出作者的心情。因此可以判斷出續(xù)寫部分可以適當?shù)乜坍嬑恼碌匿亯|和伏筆根據(jù)abirdofunknownspecies，Hedidn'tknowit‘struenamebutthefolkscalledthecreatureRedFan等信息為續(xù)寫部分設計做了鋪墊。文本的第二段中Jack的話和對他們學習野生動物救援知識的0敘述為續(xù)寫部分感悟埋下了伏筆。此外，文本最后-一段對作者和Jack二人為的描寫以交代了他們要但對如何把小鳥護理得更好產(chǎn)生了疑問。這些信息也為續(xù)寫部分設計埋下了伏筆。作者的對傷鳥的擔心和關愛。分析續(xù)寫段首，確定續(xù)寫方向由第--段首句“WhynotdoasearchontheInternet?”一下呢?”suggestedJack.”(“為什么不在網(wǎng)上搜索杰克建議道)可設問如下:1.DidIsearchontheInternetandwhatdidIfind?2.HowdidIfeelthenandwhatIdidnext?3.whatdidJackdothen?4.Whatdidwedoforthebirdnext?Whatdidthebirdandwedofinally?根據(jù)第二段首句Thenextday,weweregladtoseethebirdwaswellenough(第二天，我們很高興看到兒身體很好)可設問如下Whatwasthebirddoingthen?Didwewanttofreethebird?Howdidwedothat?WhatdidIsaytothebird?Whatdidthebirddoandwhatdidwedo?Howdidwefeltabouttheexperience?借助文本資源，創(chuàng)設續(xù)寫情節(jié)Paragraph1:[開端]杰克提議網(wǎng)上搜索[情節(jié)發(fā)展]“我”們上網(wǎng)搜索烏人信息和生活習性一“我”們按照建議護理小鳥一看到小烏很舒適，我們彼此會心一笑Paragraph2:[高潮]看到小鳥狀態(tài)很好“我”們開心一小鳥在盒子里又叫又跳一小鳥恢復能量一我們開心并欣慰決定放飛小鳥。一“我”們與小鳥對話。[結局]小鳥聽懂了我的話，開心飛走。[感悟]感到自豪并認為成為野生動物救援志愿者是合格的。高分范文“WhynotdoasearchontheInternet?”suggestedJack.

Weactedquicklyand

surfed

theInternet

tofigure

outtherelevantinformationaboutthebird,

suchasitsspeciesandhabits.Followingthe

given

advice,

weputsomecotton

atthebottomofthebox

tokeep

itwarmandplaceditnearthefireplace.

Inordertorecover

itsenergy,

wegaveitsomefoodandwater.

The

birdlookedabitmorecomfortable,

andsoonitfellasleep.Havingensured

thebirdwasingoodcondition,

wefelt

relieved.Thenextday,

weweregladtoseethebird

waswellenough.

Itwassingingandbouncingaroundintherescuebox.Obviously,

it

hadregained

itsenergy!Realizingitwas

fully

readyforfreedom,

wetooktheboxoutside,

placed

the

birdinm