讀后續(xù)寫 濰坊二模：人與自然-救助一只小鳥講義 高三英語寫作專項(xiàng)

閱讀下面材料、根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。WhenIarrivedhomefromschoolnightwasfalling.Acallcamefromthepublic:abirdofunknownspecieswasbeingattackedbyagroupofnoisychildreninhisfrontgarden.Hescaredthemoffandgrabbedtheirvictim.IimmediatelycalledformyclassmateJacktothespot.Wewerestandinginfrontofastranger’shouseinanunfamiliarstreet,rescueboxinhand.Myheadfullofinstructionstofollow.“Thebirdwouldbeourfirsttestasavolunteerwildliferescuer!”Jacksaidexcitedly.Wehadcompletedthetwo-dayintensivetrainingcoursethepreviousmonthandlearnedthebasicskillsofrescuinganimalsinvarioussituations.Butwewereanxious,too.Afterall,itwasthefirstlimeforustorescueabird.WouldIbeabletotransferthebirdneatlyintomyrescuebox?Manyworriesflashedinmymind.Sensingmyuneaseabouttheactahead,Jacksaid,“Thesethingsareprettyeasytodealwith!”Iwaswonderingwhatkindofbirditwaswhenakind-lookingmanappearedandledusinsidetoseeourveryfirstpatient.Iliftedtheedgeoftheshoeboxveryslightlytoseeanangry-lookingbirdstandingloattentiononverythinandlonglegs,togetherwithasliceofbananaandasmalldishofwater.Hedidn’tknowitstruenamebutthefolkscalledthecreatureRedFan.“It’seatensomebanana,”saidthemanproudly.Thepoorsoulseemedrathernervous,soIdecidednottograbitbyhandbutjusttransferthewholeshoeboxintomyrescuebox.Backhome,wecouldonlyseesomeminorinjuriesintheleftwing,buttherewasnobloodonitsfeathers.Jackmanagedtotreattheinjurieswithsomeiodophor（碘伏藥水）.Weassesseditsconditiontofindoutifitwasappropriatetoreleasethebirdthenextday.Howcouldwehelpitspendthenightpeacefully?Wehadn’tseenthisspeciesofbirdbefore,letaloneitshabits.注意：1.

續(xù)寫詞數(shù)要求應(yīng)為150左右；2.

請(qǐng)按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答?！癢hynotdoasearchontheInternet?”suggestedJack.Thenextday,weweregladtoseethebirdwaswellenough.試題分析:這是--篇記敘文。文章敘述了作者和同班同學(xué)Jack利用他們所學(xué)的救援野生動(dòng)物知識(shí)和技能成功救助了--只受傷的小鳥的故事。本寫作符合當(dāng)今新時(shí)代下愛護(hù)動(dòng)物、熱愛自然、與自然和動(dòng)物和諧相處的社會(huì)主義核心價(jià)值觀，適合高中學(xué)生寫作。五要素分析：When--onenight;thenextdaywhere--inastreet;attheauthor'shomeWho--主要人物:l;Jack;thebird;次要人物:thepublic;children;astranger;amanWhy--Abirdwashurtbysomechildren.What--andJacktookaninjuredbirdbacktohometocare.主次人物分析:根據(jù)原文和續(xù)寫兩段首勾可知是續(xù)寫第--段的主要人物第二段續(xù)寫的主要人物也應(yīng)該是為全文的主要事件是圍繞救助傷鳥展開的。人物情感和性格分析根據(jù)文本第-一段最后-一句IimmediatelycalledformyclassmateJacktothespot，可以看出作者和Jack都是非常善良的孩子，根據(jù)第三段最后-一句可知，Jack還是-位細(xì)心的孩子:根據(jù)第五段的描述可知，作者和Jack都是富有同情心的孩子。故綜合分析，可判斷出作者和Jack均是且是的孩子。故續(xù)寫部分也應(yīng)該星現(xiàn)作者和的性格特點(diǎn)。場(chǎng)景分析：根據(jù)第--、五段中的home和續(xù)寫第--段的首句可知，續(xù)寫第--段的故事--定發(fā)生在戶外，再結(jié)合第二段的首句可知，續(xù)寫第二段應(yīng)該主要發(fā)生在家里，因?yàn)樽髡咭疹櫺?dòng)物。動(dòng)作分析根據(jù)第五段的描述，可知作者和Jack把小鳥帶回家中并對(duì)其進(jìn)行了仔細(xì)檢查和簡(jiǎn)單的傷口處理，但他們并不知該如何護(hù)理它。再結(jié)合給文第二段中作者想成為野生動(dòng)物救援志愿者和他們所學(xué)到了救援知識(shí)，以及續(xù)寫第-一段的首“WhynotdoasearchontheInternet?’suggestedJack可我初續(xù)寫第--段應(yīng)該設(shè)計(jì)作者和Jack的-一些動(dòng)作。結(jié)合第二段段首句Thenextday,weweregladtoseethebirdwaswellenough可知，續(xù)寫第二段可設(shè)計(jì)的救助小鳥的一些動(dòng)作。心理活動(dòng)分析續(xù)寫給文中對(duì)作者和Jack的心理描寫較少，僅有第三段中anxious，worries和unease等詞，從這些詞中可以看出作者的心情。因此可以判斷出續(xù)寫部分可以適當(dāng)?shù)乜坍嬑恼碌匿亯|和伏筆根據(jù)abirdofunknownspecies，Hedidn'tknowit‘struenamebutthefolkscalledthecreatureRedFan等信息為續(xù)寫部分設(shè)計(jì)做了鋪墊。文本的第二段中Jack的話和對(duì)他們學(xué)習(xí)野生動(dòng)物救援知識(shí)的0敘述為續(xù)寫部分感悟埋下了伏筆。此外，文本最后-一段對(duì)作者和Jack二人為的描寫以交代了他們要但對(duì)如何把小鳥護(hù)理得更好產(chǎn)生了疑問。這些信息也為續(xù)寫部分設(shè)計(jì)埋下了伏筆。作者的對(duì)傷鳥的擔(dān)心和關(guān)愛。分析續(xù)寫段首，確定續(xù)寫方向由第--段首句“WhynotdoasearchontheInternet?”一下呢?”suggestedJack.”(“為什么不在網(wǎng)上搜索杰克建議道)可設(shè)問如下:1.DidIsearchontheInternetandwhatdidIfind?2.HowdidIfeelthenandwhatIdidnext?3.whatdidJackdothen?4.Whatdidwedoforthebirdnext?Whatdidthebirdandwedofinally?根據(jù)第二段首句Thenextday,weweregladtoseethebirdwaswellenough(第二天，我們很高興看到兒身體很好)可設(shè)問如下Whatwasthebirddoingthen?Didwewanttofreethebird?Howdidwedothat?WhatdidIsaytothebird?Whatdidthebirddoandwhatdidwedo?Howdidwefeltabouttheexperience?借助文本資源，創(chuàng)設(shè)續(xù)寫情節(jié)Paragraph1:[開端]杰克提議網(wǎng)上搜索[情節(jié)發(fā)展]“我”們上網(wǎng)搜索烏人信息和生活習(xí)性一“我”們按照建議護(hù)理小鳥一看到小烏很舒適，我們彼此會(huì)心一笑Paragraph2:[高潮]看到小鳥狀態(tài)很好“我”們開心一小鳥在盒子里又叫又跳一小鳥恢復(fù)能量一我們開心并欣慰決定放飛小鳥。一“我”們與小鳥對(duì)話。[結(jié)局]小鳥聽懂了我的話，開心飛走。[感悟]感到自豪并認(rèn)為成為野生動(dòng)物救援志愿者是合格的。高分范文“WhynotdoasearchontheInternet?”suggestedJack.

Weactedquicklyand

surfed

theInternet

tofigure

outtherelevantinformationaboutthebird,

suchasitsspeciesandhabits.Followingthe

given

advice,

weputsomecotton

atthebottomofthebox

tokeep

itwarmandplaceditnearthefireplace.

Inordertorecover

itsenergy,

wegaveitsomefoodandwater.

The

birdlookedabitmorecomfortable,

andsoonitfellasleep.Havingensured

thebirdwasingoodcondition,

wefelt

relieved.Thenextday,

weweregladtoseethebird

waswellenough.

Itwassingingandbouncingaroundintherescuebox.Obviously,

it

hadregained

itsenergy!Realizingitwas

fully

readyforfreedom,

wetooktheboxoutside,

placed

the

birdinm