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文檔簡(jiǎn)介

那少女披著一襲輕紗般的白衣,猶似身在煙中霧里,看來(lái)約莫十六七歲年紀(jì),除了一頭黑發(fā)之外,全身雪白,面容秀美絕俗,只是肌膚間少了一層血色,顯得蒼白異常。楊過(guò)抬起頭來(lái),與她目光相對(duì),只覺(jué)這少女清麗秀雅,莫可逼視,神色間卻是冰冷淡漠,當(dāng)真是潔若冰雪,也是冷若冰雪,實(shí)不知她是喜是怒,是愁是樂(lè)。aloof冷漠的;離群的unemotional不動(dòng)感情的

ethereal縹緲的;飄逸的;

Criteria第五檔:(21-25分)在內(nèi)容上,續(xù)寫(xiě)故事首先要“與所給短文融洽度高,與所提供各段落開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)銜接合理”,續(xù)寫(xiě)的每一段要與所給原文融洽,同時(shí)續(xù)寫(xiě)的每一段要緊貼所給首句的線索來(lái)寫(xiě)。dancewithshackles讀

續(xù)

寫(xiě)

探----捕捉和照應(yīng)續(xù)寫(xiě)點(diǎn)

可續(xù)寫(xiě)點(diǎn)(continuationpoints):

一篇完整的文章中,作者通常會(huì)圍繞(revolvearound)某個(gè)主題來(lái)寫(xiě),在篇首,篇中或篇末設(shè)置伏筆(ahintforeshadowinglaterdevelopmentsinastory),這些統(tǒng)稱為可續(xù)寫(xiě)點(diǎn)。捕捉和照應(yīng)續(xù)寫(xiě)點(diǎn)

品讀首段提煉原文主題關(guān)注特定情節(jié)留意細(xì)節(jié)描寫(xiě)關(guān)注高頻詞留意原文結(jié)尾解讀續(xù)寫(xiě)所給首句閱讀下面短文,根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫(xiě),使之構(gòu)成一個(gè)完整的故事。

OneweekendinJuly,

Jane

andherhusband,

Tom,haddriventhreehourstocampovernightbyalakeintheforest.Unfortunately,onthewayanunpleasantsubjectcameupandtheystartedtoquarrel.Bythetimetheyreachedthelake,JanewassoangrythatshesaidtoTom,"I'mgoingtofindabetterspotforustocamp"and

walked

away.

Withnopathtofollow,Janejustwalkedonforquitealongtime.Aftershehad

climbed

toahighplace,sheturnedaround,hopingtoseethelake.Tohersurprise,shesawnothingbutforestand,farbeyond,asnowcappedmountaintop.Shesuddenlyrealizedthatshewaslost."Tom!"shecried."Help!"

Noreply.IfonlyshehadnotlefthermobilephoneinthatbagwithTom.Janekeptmoving,butthefarthershewalked,themoreconfusedshebecame.Asnightwasbeginningtofall,Janewassotiredthatshehadtostopforthenight.Lyingawakeinthedark,JanewantedverymuchtobewithTomandherfamily.Shewantedtoholdhimandtellhimhowmuchshelovedhim.

Janeroseatthebreakofday,hungryandthirsty.Shecouldhearwatertrickling(滴落)somewhereatadistance.Quicklyshefollowedthesoundtoa

stream.

Tohergreatjoy,shealsosawsomeberrybushes.Shedrankandateafewberries.Neverinherlifehadshetastedanythingbetter.Feelingstrongernow,Janebegantowalkalongthestreamandhopeitwouldleadhertothelake.

Asshepickedherwaycarefullyalongthestream,Janehearda

helicopter.Isthatforme?Unfortunately,thetreesmadeitimpossibleforpeopletoseeherfromabove.Afewminuteslater,anotherhelicopterflewoverhead.Janetookoffher

yellowblouse,thinkingthatsheshouldgotoanopenareaandflagthemiftheycamebackagain.

Paragraph1:

Butnomorehelicopterscameanditwasgettingdarkagain.__________________________________________________Paragraph2:ItwasdaybreakwhenJanewokeup.______________________________________________________________________1、仔細(xì)品讀原文首段:故事背景OneweekendinJuly,

Jane

andherhusband,

Tom,haddriventhreehourstocampovernightbyalakeintheforest.Unfortunately,onthewayanunpleasantsubjectcameupandtheystartedtoquarrel.Bythetimetheyreachedthelake,JanewassoangrythatshesaidtoTom,"I'mgoingtofindabetterspotforustocamp"and

walked

away.背景續(xù)寫(xiě)點(diǎn):_________________________________________________________背景照應(yīng)方式:_____________________________________________________________JulyJane,Tombyalakeintheforest第一段可寫(xiě)天黑后Jane的感受。AlthoughitwasalreadyJuly,Janestillfeltverycoldintheforest,feelingextremelyregretfulforleavingTom.Thegurgleofstreamaddedhercoldnessandloneliness.WhenWhoWhere2、仔細(xì)品讀原文,提煉原文主題,續(xù)寫(xiě)時(shí)你會(huì)如何照應(yīng)原文主題。原文主題:

_____________________________________________________照應(yīng)主題方式:___________________________________________________________OneweekendinJuly,JaneandherhusbandTom,hadanunpleasantbutunforgettablejourney.Fortunately,Janewaseventuallyrescuedandsheandherhusbandcontinuedtheirexcitingandunforgettablejourney.3、仔細(xì)品讀原文,關(guān)注特定情節(jié):對(duì)續(xù)寫(xiě)有推動(dòng)或暗示作用的情節(jié)。特定情節(jié)續(xù)寫(xiě)點(diǎn):

____________________________________________________________照應(yīng)方式:____________________________________________________________Lyingawakeinthedark,JanewantedverymuchtobewithTomandherfamily.第1段天黑后Jane獨(dú)自一人感到后悔想念他們的感受。AgainJanelayawakeonlyinthedark,missingTomandherfamilydesperatelyandwantingtobethemimmediately.4、仔細(xì)品讀原文,留意細(xì)節(jié)描寫(xiě):語(yǔ)言描寫(xiě)、動(dòng)作描寫(xiě)、神態(tài)描寫(xiě)、外貌描寫(xiě)、環(huán)境描寫(xiě)、情感變化描寫(xiě)

細(xì)節(jié)描寫(xiě)可續(xù)寫(xiě)點(diǎn)

照應(yīng)方式

動(dòng)作語(yǔ)言心理語(yǔ)言動(dòng)作心理I’mgoingtofindabetterspotforustocamp.Theystartedtoquarrel.Janewassoangry.Asnightwasbeginningtofall,Janewassotiredthatshehadtostopforthenight.Thebestspottocampistheplacewhereyouare.HowshewishedshehadneverquarreledwithTom!HerangerandtirednessweresweptawaytheinstantshesawTom.Or

HerangerandtirednesswereovertakenbytheloveshefeltforTom.5、仔細(xì)品讀原文,關(guān)注高頻詞:原文中反復(fù)出現(xiàn)或重點(diǎn)描寫(xiě)的特定物品。高頻詞可續(xù)寫(xiě)點(diǎn):____________________________________________________________照應(yīng)方式:________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________helicopter,yellowblouse續(xù)寫(xiě)第二段可寫(xiě)Janewavedheryellowblouseonhearingthehelicopter.Tomspottedheryellowblousefromthehelicopter.6.仔細(xì)品讀原文,留意原文結(jié)尾,捕捉可續(xù)寫(xiě)點(diǎn),續(xù)寫(xiě)時(shí)你會(huì)如何照應(yīng)續(xù)寫(xiě)點(diǎn)。原文結(jié)尾續(xù)寫(xiě)點(diǎn):____________________________________________________________照應(yīng)方式:________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Janetookoffheryellowblouse,thinkingthatsheshouldgotoanopenareaandflagthemiftheycamebackagain.Janegatheredherstrengthtowalktoanopenarea,wavingheryellowblouse.Tohergreatjoy,thehelicopterdidn’tflyawaythistime.7.仔細(xì)品讀原文,留意所給首句:第二段的開(kāi)頭隱藏著第一段結(jié)尾所包含的信息。所給首句續(xù)寫(xiě)____________________________________________________________照應(yīng)方式:____________________________________________________________Paragraph1:Butnomorehelicopterscameanditwasgettingdarkagain.Paragraph2:

ItwasdaybreakwhenJanewokeup.第二段續(xù)寫(xiě)可寫(xiě)ShewassafewithTom.Toherrelief,sheneedn’tstayintheforestforanothernight.捕捉和照應(yīng)續(xù)寫(xiě)點(diǎn)

品讀首段提煉原文主題關(guān)注特定情節(jié)留意細(xì)節(jié)描寫(xiě)關(guān)注高頻詞留意原文結(jié)尾解讀續(xù)寫(xiě)所給首句契訶夫之槍

Chekhov'sGun)Writingtip:Findoutthegunsandfirethem.Respondtothedetailsmentionedinthegivenmaterials.Possibleversions:Paragraph1:Butnomorehelicopterscameanditwasgettingdarkagain.ItwasevenharderforJanetofindthelake.Shestoppedandrestedagainstatreebythestream.“l(fā)shouldn'thavequarreledwithTomaboutthetinythings."sheregretted,"lflhadn’twalkedawayangrily,Iwouldn’thavegotlost."AgainJanelayawakeinthedark,missingTomandherfamily.HerangerwasovertakenbytheloveshefeltforTom.Sheknewhewasconcernedabouthersafetyandwassearchingforher.Gradually,shecalmeddownandfellasleep.Paragraph2:ItwasdaybreakwhenJanewokeup.Shebecameenergeticafteranight'ssleep.Aftereatingsomeberries,shemovedontofindthelake.Walkingalongthestream,JanewaswavingheryellowblouseandprayingthatTomwouldfindhersoon.Herprayerwasreallyheard!Tomspottedheryellowblouseinthehelicopter.Tomdashedtohugherassoonasthehelicopterlanded.Theyapologizedtoeachother,forgaveeachotherwithtearsintheireyesandwenthomehappily,planningnextcampintheforestagain.Possibleversions:Paragraph1:

Butnomorehelicopterscameanditwasgettingdarkagain.

Jane

hadtostayaloneintheforestforanothercoldnig

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