新高考英語讀后續(xù)寫：如何推動其故事情節(jié)發(fā)展(思路分析+出彩表達)

新高考英語讀后續(xù)寫：如何推動其故事情節(jié)發(fā)展（思路分析+出彩表達）讀后續(xù)寫是新高考模式的一個重要的改革，這個題型對學(xué)生的讀和寫提出了更高的能力要求，學(xué)生要能夠基于文章的理解用自己的語言對原文進行續(xù)寫，想要寫出一個情節(jié)邏輯合理，對老師和學(xué)生來說無疑是一個巨大的挑戰(zhàn)。下面以浙江高考2020年和2018年真題為例，一步一步講解分析。2020年真題原題材料閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個完整的故事。Onefall,mywife

Elli

andIhadasinglegoal:to

photograph

polarbears.Wewerestayingataresearchcampoutside“thepolarbearcapitaloftheworld”—thetownofChurchillinManitoba,Canada.Taking

pictures

ofpolarbearsisamazingbutalsodangerous.Polarbears—likeallwildanimals—shouldbephotographedfroma

safe

distance.WhenI’mfacetofacewithapolarbear,Ilikeittobethrougha

camera

withatelephotolens.Butsometimes,thatiseasiersaidthandone.Thiswasoneofthosetimes.AsElliandIcookeddinner,ayoungmalepolarbearwhowasplayinginanearbylakesniffed,andsmelledourgarlic

bread.Thehungrybearfollowedhisnosetoourcamp,whichwassurroundedbyahighwire

fence.Hepulledandbitthewire.Hestoodonhisbacklegsandpushedatthewoodenfenceposts.Terrified,ElliandItriedallthebeardefenseactionsweknew.Weyelledatthebear,hitpotshard,andfiredblankshotgunshellsintotheair.Sometimesloud

noises

likethesewillscarebearsoff.Notthispolarbearthough—hejustkepttryingtoteardownthefencewithhismassivepaws(爪子).

Iradioedthecampmanagerforhelp.Hetoldmeahelicopterwasonitsway,butitwouldbe30minutesbeforeitarrived.Makingthebestofthiscloseencounter（相遇）,Itooksomepicturesofthebear.ElliandIfearedthefencewouldn’tlastthrough30moreminutesofthebear’spunishment.ThecampmanagersuggestedIusepepper

spray.Thesprayburnsthebears’eyes,butdoesn’thurtthem.SoIapproachedouruninvitedguestslowlyand,throughthefence,sprayedhimintheface.Withanangryroar（吼叫）,thebear

ran

tothelaketowashhiseyes.注意：1.

所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；2.

至少使用5個短文中標(biāo)有下劃線的關(guān)鍵詞語；3.

續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語已為你寫好；4.

續(xù)寫完成后，請用下劃線標(biāo)出你所使用的關(guān)鍵詞語。5.

Afewminuteslater,thebearheadedbacktoourcamp.

Atthatverymoment,thehelicopterarrived.

2

續(xù)寫思路分析

【思路一】

本文主要講述了人與熊對抗，之后成功脫險的故事。主人公的感情線變化為：興奮渴望→驚恐→放松。劇情線以主人公如何與北極熊周旋并成功擺脫它展開。由第一段的段首提示句可知：幾分鐘后，熊又回到營地。接下來可通過場景渲染，描寫當(dāng)時令人顫栗驚恐的畫面，例如“Roarsandscreamspiercedthesilencewithneedle-likeshrillness.”這不僅合理地描寫了熊的反應(yīng)，也描繪出讓人戰(zhàn)栗的場景。由第二段的段首提示句可知：此時，直升機到了。如果想要進行續(xù)寫兩段的合理銜接，第一段的結(jié)尾可描寫成“Afterthoroughlyscrutinizingthearea,thebeartrottedforwardafewsteps.”這樣可以營造出危急的場景。“我們”看到直升機的到來，感到絕處逢生的喜悅，可以以人物心理描寫作為第二段的開頭，重點描寫喜極而泣的狀態(tài)，例如“MyheartleapedwithjoyasIknewwewerelikelytobesaved.”最后，結(jié)尾部分需要迅速收束，并說明成功逃脫的結(jié)局。關(guān)于畫線詞：Elli作為女主人公，是續(xù)寫內(nèi)容中應(yīng)該出現(xiàn)的畫線詞，noises,pictures,fence,spray與熊有關(guān)，也在兩段續(xù)寫內(nèi)容中出現(xiàn)。最終，兩人回歸安全狀態(tài)，因此畫線詞safe也可自然而然地出現(xiàn)在續(xù)寫內(nèi)容中。由此劃分畫線詞，可迅速鎖定需使用的畫線詞范圍，輔助構(gòu)思。【參考答案】Afewminuteslater,thebearheadedbacktoourcamp.

Roarsandscreamspiercedthesilencewithneedle-likeshrillness.The

noises

turned

Elli

andIpalewithhorror.Ifearedthatthegiantwoulddestroyourwhole

fence.Heroaredrepeatedly,shattering

whatwasleftofthesilence.Elliseizedthisopportunitytotakesome

pictures

ofthebear.Theanimal’snoisesechoedallaroundus.Webetrayedourfeelingsbyhuddling

together,shiveringwithfear.Afterthoroughlyscrutinizing

thearea,hetrotted

forwardafewsteps.Atthatverymoment,thehelicopterarrived.

MyheartleapedwithjoyasIknewwewere

likelytobesaved.Elli

usedpepper

spray

againtobuyusenoughtime.Butthistimethebearbecamemorealert.He

regarded

uswiththemercilessnecessityofhunger,sowethrowallthefoodwehave.Hethenturnedawayandstarteddevouring.Aswewereclimbingtheropeladder,Elliprayedlikeathousandtimestoshowthankfulnessofbeing

safe

andsound.

（154詞，21分）【思路二】

由第一段的段首句可知，熱愛攝影的“我”和妻子Elli處于危險之中——北極熊再次向他們靠近了，表明情況不容樂觀。而第二段的首句明確了救援的直升機終于趕來，一切就此出現(xiàn)了轉(zhuǎn)機。所以在構(gòu)思時，越是將第一段寫得危急，就越能與后面的轉(zhuǎn)折形成鮮明對比，增加故事性。因此，聯(lián)系前文背景，續(xù)寫第一段可以先描寫熊的動向和作者的心理，之后描寫作者的應(yīng)對舉措。由前文和段首句分析可知，胡椒噴霧并未阻擋熊繼續(xù)靠近，反而激怒了它。而“我”作為攝影師，看到拍攝對象不斷進入自己的取景范圍不禁想要立刻實現(xiàn)夢想去拍攝，然而求生的本能讓“我”無暇他顧。后面采取的措施可以是作者急中生智，決定和妻子把面包給熊來拖延時間等待救援。而眼看著可怕的熊在不斷靠近，面包也即將耗盡。至此，作者夫婦二人幾乎陷入絕境。這一部分可以進行生動的描寫讓作者的心理刻畫更為生動，例如“Whileitwasloominglikeadarkcloud...”。第二段首，直升飛機抵達，至此，可以進一步渲染危急的場景，繼續(xù)描寫熊的動作，例如猛擊柵欄。在描寫完二人獲救后，結(jié)尾呼應(yīng)前文，作者一路有驚無險，成功用相機拍到夢寐以求的照片，不虛此行。關(guān)于畫線詞：Elli作為女主人公，是續(xù)寫內(nèi)容中應(yīng)該出現(xiàn)的畫線詞，除此以外，spray的提及可呼應(yīng)前文，交代故事發(fā)展，photograph,camera可以直接呼應(yīng)“我”采取的一些行動，bread是我們想到的解決方案，fence與熊相關(guān)。由此展開畫線詞，保證了故事的合理性?！緟⒖即鸢浮緼fewminuteslater,thebearheadedbacktoourcamp.

Hecouldnotresistthetemptationofthebread.Thepepper

spray

hadslowedthebearbutwasn’tenoughtostopthebeast.Onthecontrary,itprovokedthebearandmadehimeven

morefurious.MuchasIwantedto

photograph

theapproachingbear,mysurvivalinstinctovertookmydesiretocapturetheperfectphoto.Inamomentofpanic,

Elli

andIdecidedtogivehimwhathewanted—thegarlic

bread.Whileitwasloominglikeadarkcloud,wethrewthebreadatthebearalittlebitatatimeuntilithad

run

out.Atthatverymoment,thehelicopterarrived.

Buttheirritatedbearhasalreadystartedtowhackthe

fence.Ifearedthatthebearwouldteardownthefenceatanyminute.Luckily,therangerscametoourrescue.Theymanagedtocalmthebeardownanddistracthimwithsomesortofacoustics.Eventhoughmyheartwasstillthumpingwildlyinsidemychest,Isnatchedmy

camera

andsnappedonelastshotofthebear,aphotothatIhadalwayslongedtocapture.Thoughriskingmylife,I’vegotthebestpictureeverandit’sallworthit.

（200詞，22分）【思路三】續(xù)寫兩段中，故事的劇情在第一段結(jié)尾達到高潮，之后開始回落；可以推測主人公的情緒呈現(xiàn)出緊張→驚恐→松一口氣→徹底放松的變化。第一段北極熊返回后，可以通過熊的新一輪進攻引出劇情，隨著熊的攻擊愈發(fā)猛烈，主人公需要采取新方法避險。例如，可以描寫熊再次攻擊柵欄，“我”如何使用隨身物品應(yīng)對進攻，保護自己和妻子的安全。同時也可以描寫妻子的動作和情緒，烘托場面的危急。通過“我”與熊的動作交替，在第一段最后一句將人與熊的矛盾推至最大。第二段直升機到來后，可以描寫“我”避險的動作，例如立刻調(diào)轉(zhuǎn)方向跑回營地。之后利用直升機的優(yōu)勢解決問題，如利用螺旋槳發(fā)出的巨大聲響嚇退經(jīng)驗不足的北極熊。結(jié)尾處呼應(yīng)開頭，總結(jié)作者此行的目的是否達成。關(guān)于畫線詞：Elli作為女主人公，是續(xù)寫內(nèi)容中應(yīng)該出現(xiàn)的畫線詞，除此以外，fence的描寫與熊相關(guān)，“我”用camera進行攻擊防身，以達到safe的目的，動作描寫包含run，危機時刻直升飛機的noises保證了可以擊退熊，最終提及pictures呼應(yīng)此行目的。由此展開畫線詞，布局合理自然，符合故事邏輯。

Afewminuteslater,thebearheadedbacktoourcamp.

Thefurrygiantmusthavegatheredhiswits,forhesuddenlyrearedupandattackedthe

fence

withferociousstrength,leavinganarrowopeningonit.Behindme,

Elli

muffledacryofterror.Myeyeswerefixedontheintruder.Mymindracedlikeflashasmyhandsgropedforanythingthatmightkeepus

safe

fromthebear’srampage.That’swhenIfeltthe

camera.Withlittlehesitation,Ishovedtheequipmentthroughtheopeningasthepolarbearclosedhisjawsonthelensandthenpulledmywholecameraoutandsmashedit.Atthatverymoment,thehelicopterarrived.

I

ran

backtothecamp,stumblingahundredtimesinmyhaste.Ellicontactedthepilotovertheradio.Hearingthatwehadnotsufferedanyphysicalinjury,thepilottoldustostayputandcoverourears.Theharshwhooshing

noise

oftheapproachinghelicopterspookedtheyoungbear.Theanimaltookafewhesitantstepsbackandeventuallydisappearedbacktowardsthelake.Althoughmycamerahasmetitsgloriousend,andthoughallour

pictures

werelost,ourmemoryofthisunexpectedencounterremainsfreshtillthisday.

（187詞，23分）2

出彩表達積累單詞sniff

v.

嗅；聞massive

adj.

巨大的encounter

n.

遭遇；邂逅roar

v.

吼叫，咆哮shatter

v.

（使）破碎，破裂huddle

v.

擠在一起，縮成一團scrutinize

v.

仔細查看trot

v.

碎步急行regard

v.

注意，關(guān)注devour

v.

（尤指因饑餓而）狼吞虎咽地吃光provoke

v.

激怒furious

adj.

狂怒的instinct

n.

本能，直覺irritate

v.

使煩惱（尤指不斷重復(fù)的事情）ranger

n.

護林員distract

v.

轉(zhuǎn)移（注意力）thump

v.

怦怦地跳；捶擊snap

v.

拍照furry

adj.

覆蓋著毛皮的wits

n.

機智，智慧ferocious

adj.

兇猛的muffle

v.

壓抑（聲音）intruder

n.

侵入者grope

v.

摸索rampage

n.

暴跳如雷shove

v.

猛推jaw

n.

頜骨stumble

v.

跌跌撞撞地走haste

n.

急忙，倉促harsh

adj.

刺耳的whoosh

v.

發(fā)出嘶嘶聲spook

v.

驚嚇smash

v.

打碎短語facetoface

面對面scare...off

嚇跑teardown

拆毀pull

out

拔出rearup

用后腿站立句子Itiseasiersaidthandone.

說起來容易，做起來難。（諺語表達）Terrified,ElliandItriedallthebeardefenseactionsweknew.

在驚恐萬分的情況下，埃利和我嘗試了我們所知道的所有應(yīng)對熊的防衛(wèi)措施。（過去分詞作狀語）He

stoodon