關(guān)于英語(yǔ)勵(lì)志演講稿

Word文檔關(guān)于英語(yǔ)勵(lì)志演講稿WhenIwasinmy20s,Isawmyveryfirstpsychotherapyclient.IwasaPh.D.studentinclinicalpsychologyatBerkeley.Shewasa26-year-oldwomannamedAlex.NowAlexwalkedintoherfirstsessionwearingjeansandabigslouchytop,andshedroppedontothecouchinmyofficeandkickedoffherflatsandtoldmeshewastheretotalkaboutguyproblems.NowwhenIheardthis,Iwassorelieved.Myclassmategotanarsonistforherfirstclient.(Laughter)AndIgotatwentysomethingwhowantedtotalkaboutboys.ThisIthoughtIcouldhandle.

ButIdidnthandleit.WiththefunnystoriesthatAlexwouldbringtosession,itwaseasyformejusttonodmyheadwhilewekickedthecandowntheroad.Thirtysthenew20,Alexwouldsay,andasfarasIcouldtell,shewasright.Workhappenedlater,marriagehappenedlater,kidshappenedlater,evendeathhappenedlater.TwentysomethingslikeAlexandIhadnothingbuttime.

Butbeforelong,mysupervisorpushedmetopushAlexaboutherlovelife.Ipushedback.

Isaid,Sure,shesdatingdown,shessleepingwithaknucklehead,butitsnotlikeshesgoingtomarrytheguy.

Andthenmysupervisorsaid,Notyet,butshemightmarrythenextone.Besides,thebesttimetoworkonAlexsmarriageisbeforeshehasone.

ThatswhatpsychologistscallanAha!moment.ThatwasthemomentIrealized,30isnotthenew20.Yes,peoplesettledownlaterthantheyusedto,butthatdidntmakeAlexs20sadevelopmentaldowntime.ThatmadeAlexs20sadevelopmentalsweetspot,andweweresittingthereblowingit.ThatwaswhenIrealizedthatthissortofbenignneglectwasarealproblem,andithadrealconsequences,notjustforAlexandherlovelifebutforthecareersandthefamiliesandthefuturesoftwentysomethingseverywhere.

Thereare50milliontwentysomethingsintheUnitedStatesrightnow.Weretalkingabout15percentofthepopulation,or100percentifyouconsiderthatnoonesgettingthroughadulthoodwithoutgoingthroughtheir20sfirst.

Raiseyourhandifyoureinyour20s.Ireallywanttoseesometwentysomethingshere.Oh,yay!Yallsawesome.Ifyouworkwithtwentysomethings,youloveatwentysomething,yourelosingsleepovertwentysomethings,IwanttoseeOkay.Awesome,twentysomethingsreallymatter.

SoIspecializeintwentysomethingsbecauseIbelievethateverysingleoneofthose50milliontwentysomethingsdeservestoknowwhatpsychologists,sociologists,neurologistsandfertilityspecialistsalreadyknow:thatclaimingyour20sisoneofthesimplest,yetmosttransformative,thingsyoucandoforwork,forlove,foryourhappiness,maybeevenfortheworld.

Thisisnotmyopinion.Thesearethefacts.Weknowthat80percentoflifesmostdefiningmomentstakeplacebyage35.Thatmeansthateightoutof10ofthedecisionsandexperiencesandAha!momentsthatmakeyourlifewhatitiswillhavehappenedbyyourmid-30s.Peoplewhoareover40,dontpanic.Thiscrowdisgoingtobefine,Ithink.Weknowthatthefirst10yearsofacareerhasanexponentialimpactonhowmuchmoneyyouregoingtoearn.WeknowthatmorethanhalfofAmericansaremarriedorarelivingwithordatingtheirfuturepartnerby30.Weknowthatthebraincapsoffitssecondandlastgrowthspurtinyour20sasitrewiresitselfforadulthood,whichmeansthatwhateveritisyouwanttochangeaboutyourself,nowisthetimetochangeit.Weknowthatpersonalitychangesmoreduringyour20sthanatanyothertimeinlife,andweknowthatfemalefertilitypeaksatage28,andthingsgettrickyafterage35.Soyour20sarethetimetoeducateyourselfaboutyourbodyandyouroptions.

Sowhenwethinkaboutchilddevelopment,weallknowthatthefirstfiveyearsareacriticalperiodforlanguageandattachmentinthebrain.Itsatimewhenyourordinary,day-to-daylifehasaninordinateimpactonwhoyouwillbecome.Butwhatwehearlessaboutisthattheressuchathingasadultdevelopment,andour20sarethatcriticalperiodofadultdevelopment.

Butthisisntwhattwentysomethingsarehearing.Newspaperstalkaboutthechangingtimetableofadulthood.Researcherscallthe20sanextendedadolescence.Journalistscoinsillynicknamesfortwentysomethingsliketwixtersandkidults.Itstrue.Asaculture,wehavetrivializedwhatisactuallythedefiningdecadeofadulthood.

LeonardBernsteinsaidthattoachievegreatthings,youneedaplanandnotquiteenoughtime.Isntthattrue?Sowhatdoyouthinkhappenswhenyoupatatwentysomethingontheheadandyousay,Youhave10extrayearstostartyourlife?Nothinghappens.Youhaverobbedthatpersonofhisurgencyandambition,andabsolutelynothinghappens.

Andtheneveryday,smart,interestingtwentysomethingslikeyouorlikeyoursonsanddaughterscomeintomyofficeandsaythingslikethis:Iknowmyboyfriendsnogoodforme,butthisrelationshipdoesntcount.Imjustkillingtime.Ortheysay,EverybodysaysaslongasIgetstartedonacareerbythetimeIm30,Illbefine.

Butthenitstartstosoundlikethis:My20sarealmostover,andIhavenothingtoshowformyself.IhadabetterrsumthedayafterIgraduatedfromcollege.

Andthenitstartstosoundlikethis:Datinginmy20swaslikemusicalchairs.Everybodywasrunningaroundandhavingfun,butthensometimearound30itwaslikethemusicturnedoffandeverybodystartedsittingdown.Ididntwanttobetheonlyoneleftstandingup,sosometimesIthinkImarriedmyhusbandbecausehewastheclosestchairtomeat30.

Wherearethetwentysomethingshere?Donotdothat.

Okay,nowthatsoundsalittleflip,butmakenomistake,thestakesareveryhigh.Whenalothasbeenpushedtoyour30s,thereisenormousthirtysomethingpressuretojump-startacareer,pickacity,partnerup,andhavetwoorthreekidsinamuchshorterperiodoftime.Manyofthesethingsareincompatible,andasresearchisjuststartingtoshow,simplyharderandmorestressfultodoallatonceinour30s.

Thepost-millennialmidlifecrisisisntbuyingaredsportscar.Itsrealizingyoucanthavethatcareeryounowwant.Itsrealizingyoucanthavethatchildyounowwant,oryoucantgiveyourchildasibling.Toomanythirtysomethingsandfortysomethingslookatthemselves,andatme,sittingacrosstheroom,andsayabouttheir20s,WhatwasIdoing?WhatwasIthinking?

Iwanttochangewhattwentysomethingsaredoingandthinking.

Heresastoryabouthowthatcango.ItsastoryaboutawomannamedEmma.At25,Emmacametomyofficebecauseshewas,inherwords,havinganidentitycrisis.Shesaidshethoughtshemightliketoworkinartorentertainment,butshehadntdecidedyet,soshedspentthelastfewyearswaitingtablesinstead.Becauseitwascheaper,shelivedwithaboyfriendwhodisplayedhistempermorethanhisambition.Andashardasher20swere,herearlylifehadbeenevenharder.Sheoftencriedinoursessions,butthenwouldcollectherselfbysaying,Youcantpickyourfamily,butyoucanpickyourfriends.

Welloneday,Emmacomesinandshehangsherheadinherlap,andshesobbedformostofthehour.Shedjustboughtanewaddressbook,andshedspentthemorningfillinginhermanycontacts,butthenshedbeenleftstaringatthatemptyblankthatcomesafterthewordsIncaseofemergency,pleasecallShewasnearlyhystericalwhenshelookedatmeandsaid,WhosgoingtobethereformeifIgetinacarwreck?WhosgoingtotakecareofmeifIhavecancer?

Nowinthatmoment,ittookeverythingIhadnottosay,Iwill.ButwhatEmmaneededwasntsometherapistwhoreally,reallycared.Emmaneededabetterlife,andIknewthiswasherchance.IhadlearnedtoomuchsinceIfirstworkedwithAlextojustsittherewhileEmmasdefiningdecadewentparadingby.

Sooverthenextweeksandmonths,ItoldEmmathreethingsthateverytwentysomething,maleorfemale,deservestohear.

First,ItoldEmmatoforgetabouthavinganidentitycrisisandgetsomeidentitycapital.Bygetidentitycapital,Imeandosomethingthataddsvaluetowhoyouare.Dosomethingthatsaninvestmentinwhoyoumightwanttobenext.IdidntknowthefutureofEmmascareer,andnooneknowsthefutureofwork,butIdoknowthis:Identitycapitalbegetsidentitycapital.Sonowisthetimeforthatcross-countryjob,thatinternship,thatstartupyouwanttotry.Imnotdiscountingtwentysomethingexplorationhere,butIamdiscountingexplorationthatsnotsupposedtocount,which,bytheway,isnotexploration.Thatsprocrastination.ItoldEmmatoexploreworkandmakeitcount.

Second,ItoldEmmathattheurbantribeisoverrated.Bestfriendsaregreatforgivingridestotheairport,buttwentysomethingswhohuddletogetherwithlike-mindedpeerslimitwhotheyknow,whattheyknow,howtheythink,howtheyspeak,andwheretheywork.Thatnewpieceofcapital,thatnewpersontodatealmostalwayscomesfromoutsidetheinnercircle.Newthingscomefromwhatarecalledourweakties,ourfriendsoffriendsoffriends.Soyes,halfoftwentysomethingsareun-orunder-employed.Buthalfarent,andweaktiesarehowyougetyourselfintothatgroup.Halfofnewjobsareneverposted,soreachingouttoyourneighborsbossishowyougetthatun-postedjob.Itsnotcheating.Itsthescienceofhowinformationspreads.

Lastbutnotleast,Emmabelievedthatyoucantpickyourfamily,butyoucanpickyourfriends.Nowthiswastrueforhergrowingup,butasatwentysomething,soonEmmawouldpickherfamilywhenshepartneredwithsomeoneandcreatedafamilyofherown.ItoldEmmathetimetostartpickingyourfamilyisnow.Nowyoumaybethinkingthat30isactuallyabettertimetosettledownthan20,oreven25,andIagreewithyou.ButgrabbingwhoeveryourelivingwithorsleepingwithwheneveryoneonFacebookstartswalkingdowntheaisleisnotprogress.Thebesttimetoworkonyourmarriageisbeforeyouhaveone,andthatmeansbeingasintentionalwithloveasyouarewithwork.Pickingyourfamilyisaboutconsciouslychoosingwhoandwhatyouwantratherthanjustmakingitworkorkillingtimewithwhoeverhappenstobechoosingyou.

SowhathappenedtoEmma?Well,wewentthroughthataddressbook,andshefoundanoldroommatescousinwhoworkedatanartmuseuminanotherstate.Thatweaktiehelpedhergetajobthere.Thatjoboffergaveherthereasontol