讀后續(xù)寫指導(dǎo)(二)讀；關(guān)鍵細(xì)節(jié)課件高考英語作文復(fù)習(xí)專項

后續(xù)寫讀作文指導(dǎo)（二）讀梳兩線———抓主旨———找矛盾照前后文———抓關(guān)鍵———求方法思情節(jié)———慮銜接———繪細(xì)節(jié)（風(fēng)格；模仿）plot&emotionthemeconflict/problemimportantdetailssolutioncohesion:4處與上段尾情節(jié)銜接與給出句句際銜接detailstofocusonclimax&ending讀后續(xù)寫三大步九抓手characters內(nèi)容：梳兩線，抓主旨，找矛盾，抓重點，解決問題漲智慧！

分析、

比較、識別、創(chuàng)新邏輯：思情節(jié)、慮銜接，繪細(xì)節(jié)，自然連貫情節(jié)自然、銜接連貫，邏輯連貫嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)

情節(jié)簡、細(xì)節(jié)亮，繪聲繪色拿高分！語言：準(zhǔn)確、精煉、生動、多樣化表達(dá)此次作文問題：主題與內(nèi)容：主次不分。沒有抓住主要問題、主要矛盾，沒有合理解決問題，15以下。

沒有抓住最主要的“買specialpaintsandbrushes”，

抓了“沒錢吃飯，肚子餓。

第二段寫媽媽生氣，責(zé)備John（要正能量結(jié)尾）

主旨寫成：everyonehastherighttopursueyourdream邏輯與銜接：情節(jié)大邏輯不合理：第一段末沒有寄出畫作、參賽等無法銜接第二段的比賽結(jié)果細(xì)節(jié)小邏輯不合理：還在思考買作畫工具還是吃午餐

帶著錢先去報名

買了作畫工具還要放在家里藏好

接電話的無關(guān)細(xì)節(jié)媽媽搶著接電話

錢用來報名？？？花了2-3行寫乘車去城里買東西，畫畫只有1句。

沒有買specialpaintsandsomebrushes買paper？

畫畫之后買面包，面包丟，媽媽罵Whereisyourlunchmoney？獲獎之后

媽媽還責(zé)備

天外來客：畫品店的收銀員

看出我的內(nèi)心斗爭

給我開導(dǎo)

細(xì)節(jié)描寫：學(xué)會講故事！情節(jié)簡、細(xì)節(jié)亮，繪聲繪色拿高分！

如何作畫的過程？畫了什么畫？獲獎之后的心理和行為

心理描寫生搬硬套，不自然；獲獎后媽媽責(zé)備？

Johnstoodinfrontofthematerials,withbutterfliesinhisstomach.語言：語法錯誤：

時態(tài)、語態(tài)拼寫錯誤：although詞性錯誤：feltsoconfusedHismothersaidshewouldnotagainsthisdreamanymore.

Inspiteofhisheartstillseemedtobetorn,heboughtthepaintingmaterialsholdingthemoneyinhishand，hisheartwasinatangle.語言風(fēng)格不一致：第二段對話多王身穎，心理、情境細(xì)節(jié)描寫自然、有畫面感；一可語法錯誤多；梁欣、謝庭赫、王嘉儀書寫，張子彧

曾馨完全偏題黃子芊生搬硬套Johnaskedinatreblingvoice.Whenreceivingconfirmation,伶慧在文本上作了標(biāo)志

1.梳兩線—抓主旨—找矛盾拉波夫（Labov,1927）敘事結(jié)構(gòu)6要素completions進展orientation指向abstract點題evaluation評議resolution結(jié)局coda回應(yīng)概要總結(jié)：講一個什么故事;可有可無核心矛盾的解決可有可無;That'sit.That'ttheendofthestory.;故事對本人的影響;凸顯主題5W1H:Whenwherewhowhathowwhy背景：時間地點、人物環(huán)境等故事發(fā)展核心關(guān)鍵精彩點敘述者看法態(tài)度;主人翁內(nèi)心世界;出現(xiàn)在任何位置whenwherewhowhathowI&Mexicanfamilycarbrokedownnohelpfor3htheMexicanfamillyhelpedIgave$20&wasrefusedbythemangaveittoW;talkedwithGhelplessdisappointedhappyso?frommorningtonoonbytheroad也可以用不同符號在文中標(biāo)出：_____

┄gratefulWhatisthemainproblem？why？

Attheendoftheclass,Mr.SmithannouncedourassignmentfbrthenextMondaywastotalkaboutsomeoneweweregratefultoinsteadofabookreport.Uponhearingit,Icouldn'thelpcomplainingtoMareyathatIwassonervousabouthavingtotalkinfrontofthewholeclass.“You'vebeeninatleastthreeplays,"Mareyapointedout."Ifyoudon'tgetstagefrightinfrontofthosebigaudiences,whyareyoubotheredbyafewkidsinourclass?”Itwastrue,butinaplayyouwerepartofagroup.Ishookmyhead.Plus,thereweresomanypeopleIwasgratefulto.TherewasnowayIcouldpossiblypickjustone.Plus,evenifIpickedoneI'dhavenoideawhattosay.Plus,evenifIfiguredoutwhattosay,Iwasamillion-percentpositivethatI'dmessupifItriedtosayitoutloud!I'dbestandingtherewitheveryonestaringatme,waitingforwordstocomeoutofmymouth."Oh,mygoodness!Ipulledmysweatshirthood（風(fēng)帽）overmyface,putmyhandsovermycarsandsaid,"Idon'twanttotalkaboutit!"故事線task：

someonegratefulto情感、人設(shè)complainednervousfeltbotheredMcomfortedproblems：who？whattosay？messupifsayitoutloudupsetresisted抵制InahousefarfromthecitylivedJohnandhismother.John’sonlyhobbywaswanderinginthenearbypicturesqueforest.Initscenterwasashinyclearlakewithschoolsoffishdancinginit.Lovelyanimalssuchasdeerorrabbitswereplayingaroundandcutebirdsweresingingintrees.Fascinatedbythebeautyandlivelinessofnature,hedesiredtobecomeagreatartistandpresentallthebreath-takingscenestotheworld.Johnstudiedinthelocalprimaryschool.LifewasnoteasyforJohnandhismomafterhisfatherdied.Knowingwhathardworkhismotherdidtomakeendsmeet,Johnreallydidn’twanthismothertoworry.Hismotherknewthesignificanceofeducationinlifebutshewasagainsthisdreamofbecominganartist.“Theprofessionofartistcan’taidapersoninmeetinghisdailyexpenses,”shewouldsay.Butaseachdaypassed,John’sdreambecamemorepassionate.Duetothelivingcircumstances,evenbuyingsomenewcolorswouldbealuxury.Johnonlyusedtheworndrawingfileandlimitedcolorsforhisdailypractice.Thoughlackingfinepaintingmaterials,henevergaveupdrawing.Hespentasignificantamountoftimestayingintheforest,secretlyperfectinghiscraft.Withcontinuoushardworkandadistinctgiftforart,hedrewbeautifully.OnedayJohnreadaboutacompetitionbeingheldinthetown,whosedeadlinewasonlytwodaysaway.Hegottheperfectopportunitytofulfillhisdesirebuthewasinadilemmaasforthecompetitionheneededspecialpaintsandsomebrushes.Hedidn’thavethecouragetoaskhismotherformoneyasheknewherprejudiceagainstart.Thateveninghismomreturnedfromworkandhandedhimafewpapernotes,saying,“Thisisforyourlunchatschoolnextmonth.”Themoneywasenoughforhisdesiredmaterials!John’sfacelitup.

Earlythenextmorning,Johnsecretlylefthomewiththemoney.___________________

Aweeklater,aphonecallcametoJohn’shome._________________________________Plot:梳理寫在卷子空白處或者草稿上

Jhasstrongpassionforpainting----Mwasagainstpoorfamily----paintingcomptetition-----nomoneytobuyspecialpaintsandsomebrushes----Mgavehimmoneyforlunchlitup

Para1:buyspecialpaintsandbrusheswiththemoney—paintthepicturessqueforestsubmitandenterthecompetitionPara2:answerthephonecallandlearnttheresultJohnexcitement---fulfillhisdream

motherhappy----changeopinionandsupport

Charactersandtheiremotions：用不同符號圈劃在原文，關(guān)鍵細(xì)節(jié)打勾

John:picturesqueforestfascinateddesiretopresentthebreath-takingscenesthoughpoormorepassionate：lackingfinepaintingmaterialsnevergiveup

spenttimeperfectinghardworkdistinctgiftdrewbeatifullynomoneyforspecialpaintsandbrushesupsetmoneyforbreakfastlitupMother:hardworktomakeendsmeedwasagainsthisdream---won’thelpearnmoney---prejudice

Climax---solvethesecondproblem/conflictEnding---solvethefirstproblem/conflictstrongpassionforpaintinghardworkingpersistent/determinedtopursuehisdreamTheme：Follow/pursue/holdonto/stickto/workhardonyourdream,youwillmakeit/achieve/realize/fulfilP1P2S2S1

Para.1:Earlythenextmorning,Johnsecretlylefthomewiththemoney.Decidedly,heboughtpaperandpensforpainting,andthendashedtothecompetition.Aftersigningupforit,hewasgiventhetask.Havingcollectedhisthoughts,Johntookadeepbreathandgotdowntohispainting.Soabsorbedwashethatheignoredallthedistractionaroundhim.Onhispaperwasvisuallystrikingcolorandappealingpatterns.HardlyhadJohnfinishedthelaststrokewhenhesignedwithrelief,hislipscurvingintoasmile.Everyday,helookedforwardtotheresulthappilyandanxiously,thoughhefelthungry.(94words)

Para.2:Aweeklater,aphonecallcametoJohn’shome.Hearingwhatthemansaid,hismotherfeltpuzzled,notknowinghowhissonhaddoneit.WhenJohnreturned,hiswidenedeyesbetrayedhissurpriseashismotherrelayedthenews.Atthesametime,asenseofguiltflashedacrossJohn.Hethenexplainedthewholeprocessandaffirmedhisunwaveringdream.Understandingthetruth,John'smotherwasdeeplymoved,tearscloudinghervision.Sheunfoldedherarms,embracingJohntightly,murmuringapologies.Johnwashappy,becausehehadgottheperfectopportunitytofulfillhisdreamandshowcasehistalent.Besides,hewasawardedforhispainting!(100words)王身穎，心理、情境細(xì)節(jié)描寫自然、有畫面感；一可語法錯誤多；梁欣、謝庭赫、王嘉儀書寫，張子彧Johnaskedinatreblingvoice.Whenreceivingconfirmation,伶慧在文本上作了標(biāo)志

AMOTHER’SDAYSURPRISEThetwinswerefilledwithexcitementastheythoughtofthesurprisetheywereplanningforMother’sDay.HowpleasedandproudMotherwouldbewhentheybroughtherbreakfastinbed.TheyplannedtomakeFrenchtoastandchickenporridge.Theyhadwatchedtheirmotherinthekitchen.Therewasnothingtoit.JennaandJeffknewexactlywhattodo.Thebigdaycameatlast.Thealarmrangat6a.m.Thepairwentdownthestairsquietlytothekitchen.Theydecidedtoboiltheporridgefirst.TheyputsomericeintoapotofwaterandleftittoboilwhiletheymadetheFrenchtoast.Jeffbroketwoeggsintoaplateandaddedinsomemilk.Jennafoundthebreadandputtwoslicesintotheeggmixture.Next,Jeffturnedonthesecondstoveburnertoheatupthefryingpan.EverythingwasgoingsmoothlyuntilJeffstartedfryingthebread.Thepanwastoohotandthebreadturnedblackwithinseconds.Jennathrewtheburntpieceintothesinkandputintheothersliceofbread.Thistime,sheturneddownthefiresoitcookednicely.ThenJeffnoticedsteamshootingoutofthepotandthelidstartingtoshake.Thenextminute,theporridgeboiledoverandputoutthefire.Jennapanicked.Thankfully,Jeffstayedcalmandturnedoffthegasquickly.Butthestovewasamessnow.JennatoldJefftocleanitupsotheycouldcontinuetocooktherestoftheporridge.ButJeff’shandtouchedthehotburnerandhegaveacryofpain.Jennamadehimputhishandincoldwater.Thenshecaughtthesmellofburning.Ohdear!Thepieceofbreadinthepanhadturnedblackaswell.Paragraph1:

Asthetwinslookedaroundthemindisappointment,theirfatherappeared.

Paragraph2:Thetwinscarriedthebreakfastupstairsandwoketheirmotherup.

Plot:梳理寫在卷子空白處或者草稿上

Jhasstrongpassionforpainting----Mwasagainstpoorfamily----paintingcomptetition-----nomoneytobuyspecialpaintsandsomebrushes----Mgavehimmoneyforlunchlitup

Para1:buyspecialpaintsandbrusheswiththemoney—paintthepicturessqueforestsubmitandenterthecompetitionPara2:answerthephonecallandlearnttheresultJohnexcitement---fulfillhisdream

motherhappy----changeopinionandsupport

Charactersandtheiremotions：用不同符號圈劃在原文，關(guān)鍵細(xì)節(jié)打勾

Twins:picturesqueforestfascinateddesiretopresentthebreath-takingscenesthoughpoormorepassionate：lackingfinepaintingmaterialsnevergiveup

spenttimeperfectinghardworkdistinctgiftdrewbeatifullynomoneyforspecialpaintsandbrushesupsetmoneyforbreakfastlitupFather：Mother:hardworktomakeendsmeedwasagainsthisdream---won’thelpearnmoney---prejudice

Climax---solvethesecondproblem/conflictEnding---solvethefistproblem/conflictstrongpassionforpaintinghardworkingpersistent/determinedtopursuehisdreamTheme：Follow/pursue/holdonto/stickto/workhardonyourdream,youwillmakeit/achieve/realize/fulfilP1P2S2S1讀后續(xù)寫Requirement：提供一篇350詞以內(nèi)的語言材料，原文多是情節(jié)豐富的記敘文或者夾敘夾議文，要求考生依據(jù)該材料內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語進行續(xù)寫（150詞左右），將其發(fā)展成一篇與給定材料有邏輯銜接、情節(jié)架構(gòu)自然，且結(jié)構(gòu)完整的短文。（教育部考試中心）評分角度Assessment：◆內(nèi)容合理豐富：創(chuàng)造內(nèi)容的質(zhì)量，續(xù)寫的完整性以及與原文情境的融洽度。◆語言自然精當(dāng)：使用詞匯和語法結(jié)構(gòu)的準(zhǔn)確性、恰當(dāng)性和多樣性?！暨壿嬨暯舆B貫：上下文的銜接和全文的連貫性。素養(yǎng)要求competence：在具體的情境中，綜合運用學(xué)科知識與學(xué)科思維方式，在一定價值觀的引領(lǐng)下，分析問題、解決問題的能力。1.讀懂：把握關(guān)鍵信息，理清故事情節(jié)（明線、暗線）歸納文本大意，預(yù)測故事主題分析語言特點，把握文本風(fēng)格2.構(gòu)思：合理情節(jié)，豐富想象，連貫細(xì)節(jié)，有效對話，精彩結(jié)尾3.創(chuàng)寫：詞匯、語法、修辭準(zhǔn)確多樣

細(xì)節(jié)描寫塑造人物、推動情節(jié)（動作、場景、外貌、心理、語言）

銜接連貫，文風(fēng)一致，渾然一體Evaluationcriteria評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)第五檔（21－25）1.創(chuàng)造了豐富、合理的內(nèi)容，富有邏輯性，續(xù)寫完整（有明顯的結(jié)尾，體現(xiàn)一定的主題思想，如得到了大家的認(rèn)可、重拾信心等等）,與原文融合度高。2.使用了多樣并且恰當(dāng)?shù)脑~語和語法結(jié)構(gòu)（如靈活使用非謂語、倒裝句、強調(diào)句等結(jié)構(gòu)，合理使用），可以有個別錯誤，但完全不影響理解。3.有效地使用了語句間的銜接手段，全文結(jié)構(gòu)清晰，意義連貫。第四檔（16－20）1.創(chuàng)造了比較豐富、合理的內(nèi)容，比較有邏輯性，續(xù)寫完整,與原文融合度較高。2.使用了比較多樣并且恰當(dāng)?shù)脑~語和語法結(jié)構(gòu)（如靈活使用非謂語、倒裝句、強調(diào)句等結(jié)構(gòu)，合理使用），可以有些許錯誤(如大小寫、名詞單復(fù)數(shù)、冠詞、介詞等），但完全不影響理解。3.比較有效地使用了語句間的銜接手段，全文結(jié)構(gòu)比較清晰，意義比較連貫。讀后續(xù)寫評分基本步驟：

1.本題總分為25分，按5個檔次給分。

2.評分時，先根據(jù)所續(xù)寫短文的內(nèi)容和語言初步確定其所屬檔次，然后以該檔次的要求來衡量、確定或調(diào)整檔次，最后給分。

3.詞數(shù)少于130的，從總分中減去2分。

4.評分時，應(yīng)主要從以下四個方面考慮：

1.內(nèi)容的豐富性、合理；2.應(yīng)用語法結(jié)構(gòu)和詞匯的豐富性和準(zhǔn)確性；3.與所給短文及段落開頭語的銜接程度；4.上下文的連貫性。

5.拼寫與標(biāo)點符號是語言準(zhǔn)確性的一個重要方面，評分時，應(yīng)視其對交際的影響程度予以考慮。

6.如書寫較差以致影響交際，可將分?jǐn)?shù)降低一個檔次。（本學(xué)期

嚴(yán)格扣書寫分，將書寫問題在高二解決。）

字體丑、涂抹多、太大太小、超出書寫框，超行太多，第五檔：21-25高級表達(dá)第四檔：16-20部分復(fù)雜句第三檔：11-15簡單句、錯誤較多第二檔：6-10漢語思維句第一檔：1-5不成句零分作文Assessyourclassmates’article.Whataretheproblem?Whataretheadvantages?明源、鈺林、陳寧、爵昊、麗娟、盛隆、駿行、英茜、明聰、菲婭、珈伊、純樂、紫嫣、Advantages：detailedandvividdescription細(xì)節(jié)生動

使用佳句correlatewithpriviousdetails回應(yīng)前文goodsolutiontoproblem解決問題合理自然

endwithathemanticsentence以主旨句結(jié)尾Myfaceturnedredlikeabigripeapplejustlikehimonthebusthismorning.娟HesmiledatmejustlikeIhaddonetohimatlunchtime.博文Hesataloneintheclassroomjustlikehewasatthedinninghall.明源Intheend，weheldthethesameview：Trytocareaboutthepersonintroubleandfacethedifficultyconfidentlyatalltime.晨輝language：“Everyonewillhaveanembarassingtime.Butpeoplewillsoonforgetit.Justasyouwon’tremindmethethinghappentomethismorning”hesaid.Ifeltafeelingofwarmthraisingformmyheart.Iworethejeansandreadyforthecheer.“Becauseyousmileatmemademewarm.”IknewhowembarrasseditwassoIhelpyouinordertoavoidembarrassment.IcouldfeelthatRyanworriedabouttheothers'laughterhurtmyheart.關(guān)鍵單詞錯誤：Hetookacost.coatMyheartwasfilledwithattitude.gratitude時態(tài)語態(tài)錯誤：IrunningtowardsRyan.ran詞性錯誤：Ifeltembarrassment.Thisisreallyembarrassment.Heunderstoodmyconfused.confusion謂語動詞缺失：Iverysorrythat....自編詞語：Asenseofregretmentandthankmentheldmyheart.句子混雜：“Becauseyousmiledatmemademewarm.”anditmademefeelwarm從句缺主、謂：Hegotupsoearlythatfellasleepinclass.he佳句使用過度、不自然。Problem：1.不切要點：抓不住主要問題、主要矛盾、2.不抓主題：沒有主題、主題不清3.異想天開：解決問題的方式不合理、不自然

（穿上大衣，拿出牛仔褲，當(dāng)場換褲子，沒有人注意你，趕別人走，）4.對話腳本：對話多，與原文文風(fēng)不符，5.人設(shè)不對：人稱不對：Ryan被寫成女生6.銜接不當(dāng)：與首句銜接不當(dāng)。ThenIsawRyanrunningtowardsme.Asaresultofanaccident,Iwasthrownintoaworldofdarknessandsankintohopelessness.7.天外來客：老師跟我?guī)砹搜澴?，他人的出現(xiàn)8.節(jié)外生枝:

他跑過來，摔倒。第二段，他的衣服臟了，我?guī)退粒晃已埶浣?。與主旨無關(guān)的細(xì)節(jié)。9.綿延不絕：故事持續(xù)發(fā)展，停不下來。10.添加段落：不能寫第三段11.細(xì)節(jié)不足：心理、動作描寫see？hear？feel?touch？think？did？感官、修辭梳兩線———抓主旨———找矛盾照前后文———抓關(guān)鍵———求方法思情節(jié)———慮銜接———繪細(xì)節(jié)（風(fēng)格；模仿）plot&emotionthemeconflict/problemimportantdetailssolutioncohesion:4處與上段尾情節(jié)銜接與給出句句際銜接detailstofocusonclimax&ending讀后續(xù)寫三大步九抓手Chapter2TheBigNightThenFoxbegantoskate.Foxskatedforwardsandbackwardsandsideways.Sheskatedinperfectcirclesandfiguresofeight.Shewaselegantandamazing!Walruswatchedandhelovedwhathesaw.Foxmadeitalllooksoeasy.Next,itwasPolarBear’sturn.Herolledoutacrosstheicelikeabigwhitesnowball.Everybodyclappedwildly.ThenPolarBearbegantotumble.Hedidjumpsandspinsandsomersaults,andstoodonhishead.ImproveyourlanguageexpressionUseofsimpleandconcisewords.平時積累，考前強化記憶好詞好句。Hehung/dropped/lowered/bent/bowedhishead.Hesaid/whispered/shouted/cried/screamed/sighed/wailed.ImproveyourlanguageexpressionUseofthesenses（五種感官）ofsight，hearing，smelling，touch，tasteUseofrhetoricaldevices（修辭手法）:simile,metephor,personification,exaggeration,parallelsentences.Paragraph1:ThenIsawRyanrunningtowardsme.SuddenlythescenestruckmewherehefellflatandIlaughedathimcrazily.Ithoughtthiswouldbehischancetoreturnthefavor.Iloweredmyhead,myfaceburningwithembarrassment.ButunexpectedlyRyandidn'tlaugh.Instead,heapproachedmefrombehind,tookoffhisjacketswiftlyandofferedittome,signalingtometocovermytornjeans.Withoutanydelay,Ididit.Strugglingagainstmytears,Ididwanttoexpressmygratitudetohimbutcouragefailedme.Intotalsilence,Ileftthecourtyard.Paragraph2:Thatnight,afterthecheeratthefootballgame,IfoundRyan.Ithankedhim,givingthejacketbacktohimandtellinghimthecheerwentgreat.Thengatheringmycourage,Isincerelyapologizedtohimformymisconductonthebusandthankedhimagainforhishelpingmeoutofthedesperatesituation.Ryan,withabroadsmile,pattedmeontheshoulderandtoldmetoforgetaboutthat,jokinghefelllikethatalot.Hearingthat,IwasamusedandconvincedthathewassomeoneIwouldbefriendswith.Honestly,Mondaywasagreatdayindeed!

Mondaystartedoutgreat.Iwokeupontime,atebreakfastanddidsomelastminutestudyingformyfirsthourmathtest.Iwasconfidentofgettinggoodgrades.ThenIleftmyhouse.Tenminuteslater,Iwassettledwithmyfriendsontheschoolbus.Wewerebusychattingabouthowwespentourweekend.Atonestop,FatRyangotonhurriedly.Hetrippedoversomeone'sfootaccidentallyandTHUMP!Hefellflatontothefloor.Everyoneofusonthebuslookedonandlaughedcrazily.Ryanstruggledtohisfeet,dustedthejacketandmadehiswaytoanemptyseat.Hetriedtolaughwithus,buthisfacewasburningwithembarrassment.Therestofthemorningflewby.Ididwellinmymathtest.IreadtwomorechaptersofToKillaMockingbirdinEnglishclass.Itwasn'tlongbeforetherewentthelunchbell.Imetmyfriendsfromthecheerleadingteaminthedininghall.ThenIcouldn'thelpbutnoticeRyanafewtablesaway,sittingallalone.Hecaughtmelooking.Ismiledathimquicklyandlookedaway.Whenwefinishedeating,weheadedouttothecourtyardtopracticeacheerwewoulddoatthatnight'sfootballgame.Afteralittlepractice,wenailedthecheer,sowedecidedweonlyneededtogothroughitonelasttime.Again,justliketherestofmydaysofar,thecheerwasgoinggreat.Iraisedmylegforonelasttoetouch.RIIPPP!Ifeltmyjeanssplitdownthemiddleofmybackside.Ifroze.Ihadnoideawhattodobutstandstill.ThenIheardpeopleburstoutlaughing,andIsawthempointingatmytornjeans.Tryingtocovermyselfwithmyhands,Itriedtolaughtoo,butIfelttearsbegantowellupinmyeyes.注意：1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)150左右；2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。Paragraph1:ThenIsawRyanrunningtowardsme.______________________________________________________Paragraph1:Thatnight,afterthecheeratthefootballgame,IfoundRyan.____________________________________Problemswithyourwriting：Notfitinwellwiththegivensentences.沒有銜接段首句。2.Overimagined，notreasonableorlogical.過度想象，結(jié)局虛幻，不合實際或邏輯。3.Nopositiveending.沒有彰顯正能量主題。4.Nodetaileddescriptionofmovemets,conducts,speech,feelings,environment.動作、行為、言語、環(huán)境、情感描寫不夠細(xì)致。5.Nouseofrhetoricaldevicesorotherwritingtechniques.不會用各種修辭手法。Problemswithyourwriting：原文解讀不到位，導(dǎo)致續(xù)寫文不對題或主題不清，主題沒有彰顯正能量。情節(jié)不合邏輯，不符實際，或缺少創(chuàng)新，言之無物。與段首句不銜接，上下文細(xì)節(jié)缺少連貫和回應(yīng)。文風(fēng)不一致，描寫與敘述、對話與描寫比例失調(diào)。動作、行為、言語、環(huán)境、情感細(xì)節(jié)描寫不細(xì)致。不善于運用各種修辭手法。語言錯誤。時態(tài)、語態(tài)、大小寫、標(biāo)點符號、從句、分詞等使用不準(zhǔn)確。StepsforcontiuationwritingGuess

猜讀段首句，抓關(guān)鍵詞，猜故事內(nèi)容讀6要素，梳理故事發(fā)展情節(jié)、人物情感、主題文風(fēng)整合猜測與閱讀所獲，明確主題思想、構(gòu)思高潮與結(jié)局銜接段首句:新舊信息銜接原則寫故事的高潮結(jié)局:人物的所聽、所看、所思、所想、所說、所做的關(guān)鍵細(xì)節(jié)。體現(xiàn)人物情感，彰顯故事主題。Read讀Imagine思Continue續(xù)Write寫Igrewupinasmalltownwhereelementaryschoolwasaten-minutewalkfrommyhouseandinanage,notsolongago,whenwechildrencouldgohomeforlunchandfindourmotherswaiting.Atthetime,Ididn’tconsiderthistobesoimportant,althoughtodayitcertainlywouldbe.Actually,ourlunchtimetogetherinthepastyearshadhadagreatinfluenceonmylifebeforeIrealizedit.OurlunchtimewhenIwasinthethirdgradewillstaywithmealways.Ihadbeenpickedtobetheprincessintheschoolplay,andforweeksmymotherhadpainstakinglypractisedmylineswithme.ButnomatterhoweasilyIdeliveredthemathome,assoonasIsteppedonstage,everyworddisappearedfrommyhead.Finally,myteachertookmeaside.Sheexplainedpatientlythatsheneededanarratorandhadwrittenanarrator’sparttotheplay,andaskedmetoswitchroles.Herwords,kindlydelivered,stillhurtme,especiallywhenIsawmypartgotoanothergirl.Ididn’ttellmymotherwhathadhappenedwhenIwenthomeforlunchthatday.Butshesensedmyunease,andinsteadofsuggestingwepracticemylines,sheaskedifIwantedtowalkintheyard.Itwasalovelyspringdayandtherosevine(藤)wasturninggreen.Underthehugetrees,wecouldseeyellowdandelions(蒲公英)appearingunexpectedlythroughthegrassinbunches,asifapainterhadtouchedourlandscapewithsmallamountsofgold.Iwatchedmymothercasuallybenddownbyoneofthebushes.“IthinkI'mgoingtodigupalltheseweeds,”shesaid,pullingablossomupbyallitsroots.“Fromnowon,we’llhaverosesinthisgarden.”Iimmediatelyprotested,“ButIlikedandelions.Allflowersarebeautiful—evendandelions.”Whattoread?Whatinformationtofocuson?2.Read讀拉波夫（Labov,1927）敘事結(jié)構(gòu)6要點。completions進展orientation指向abstract點題evaluation評議resolution結(jié)局coda回應(yīng)概要總結(jié)：講一個什么故事;可有可無背景：時間地點、人物環(huán)境等故事發(fā)展核心關(guān)鍵精彩點敘述者看法態(tài)度;主人翁內(nèi)心世界;出現(xiàn)在任何位置核心矛盾的解決可有可無;That'sit.That'ttheendofthestory.;故事對本人的影響;凸顯主題2.Read讀whenwherewhowhathow敘事結(jié)構(gòu)6要點，把握篇章結(jié)構(gòu)記敘文6要素：5w1H梳理情節(jié)發(fā)展與人物情感猜測主題、把握文風(fēng)WhyIgrewupinasmalltownwhereelementaryschoolwasaten-minutewalkfrommyhouseandinanage,notsolongago,whenwechildrencouldgohomeforlunchandfindourmotherswaiting.Atthetime,Ididn’tconsiderthistobesoimportant,althoughtodayitcertainlywouldbe.Actually,ourlunchtimetogetherinthepastyearshadhadagreatinfluenceonmylifebeforeIrealizedit.OurlunchtimewhenIwasinthethirdgradewillstaywithmealways.Ihadbeenpickedtobetheprincessintheschoolplay,andforweeksmymotherhadpainstakinglypractisedmylineswithme.ButnomatterhoweasilyIdeliveredthemathome,assoonasIsteppedonstage,everyworddisappearedfrommyhead.Finally,myteachertookmeaside.Sheexplainedpatientlythatsheneededanarratorandhadwrittenanarrator’sparttotheplay,andaskedmetoswitchroles.Herwords,kindlydelivered,stillhurtme,especiallywhenIsawmypartgotoanothergirl.Ididn’ttellmymotherwhathadhappenedwhenIwenthomeforlunchthatday.Butshesensedmyunease,andinsteadofsuggestingwepracticemylines,sheaskedifIwantedtowalkintheyard.Itwasalovelyspringdayandtherosevine(藤)wasturninggreen.Underthehugetrees,wecouldseeyellowdandelions(蒲公英)appearingunexpectedlythroughthegrassinbunches,asifapainterhadtouchedourlandscapewithsmallamountsofgold.Iwatchedmymothercasuallybenddownbyoneofthebushes.“IthinkI'mgoingtodigupalltheseweeds,”shesaid,pullingablossomupbyallitsroots.“Fromnowon,we’llhaverosesinthisgarden.”Iimmediatelyprotested,“ButIlikedandelions.Allflowersarebeautiful—evendandelions.”orientation背景，abstract點題，evaluation評議completions進展，evaluation評議Paragraph1:“Doyoumeanthateveryflowerhasitsownbeauty?”askedmymotherthoughtfully.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Paragraph2:“Butyouwillbeabeautifulnarrator,”Momsaid.________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________\__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Resolution結(jié)局-----coda回應(yīng)

completions進展-----climax高潮

Igrewupinasmalltownwhereelementaryschoolwasaten-minutewalkfrommyhouseandinanage,notsolongago,whenwechildrencouldgohomeforlunchandfindourmotherswaiting.Atthetime,Ididn’tconsiderthistobesoimportant,althoughtodayitcertainlywouldbe.Actually,ourlunchtimetogetherinthepastyearshadhadagreatinfluenceonmylifebeforeIrealizedit.OurlunchtimewhenIwasin