英漢翻譯評(píng)析(附參考譯文)

英漢翻譯講解（1）英漢之間的差別：“對(duì)于中國(guó)學(xué)生最有用的幫助是讓他認(rèn)識(shí)英語和漢語的差別?！?-----呂叔湘國(guó)內(nèi)學(xué)者的共識(shí)是：漢語是綜合性的，描寫性的，而英語是分析性的，邏輯性的。在語言學(xué)上最重要的區(qū)別在于形合和意合的對(duì)比（contrastbetweenhypotaxisandparataxis），英語重形合（形式上的融合），漢語重意合（意思或意境的融合）。在句法方面，有學(xué)者形象地把英漢比喻為以下幾種：雄孔雀/雄獅-----即英語習(xí)慣于把最著重的事物放在句首先說出來，開門見山，一語破的，然后再把各種標(biāo)志一條條補(bǔ)述，一步步交代，慢條斯理，從容不迫，形成一條頭短尾長(zhǎng)地線性鏈，象頭小尾大地雄孔雀。而漢語則相反，其線性序列的展開好比畫龍點(diǎn)睛，先把外圍的環(huán)境與襯托一一交代周到，最后點(diǎn)出話語的信息中心，水到渠成，給人以豁然開朗之感，形成雄獅型頭大尾小地局式。例如：Iwasallthemoredelightedwhen,asaresultoftheinitiativeofyourGovernmentitprovedpossibletoreinstatethevisitsoquickly.譯文：由于貴國(guó)政府的提議，才得以這樣快地重新實(shí)現(xiàn)訪問。這使我感到特別高興。又如：Theassertionthatitwasdifficult,ifnotimpossible,forapeopletoenjoyitsbasicrightsunlessitwasabletodeterminefreelyitspoliticalstatusandtoensurefreelyitseconomic,socialandculturaldevelopmentwasnowscarcely（不足地，不充分地；一定不，絕不）contested（斗爭(zhēng)；比賽）.譯文：如果一個(gè)民族不能自由地決定其政治地位，不能自由地保證其經(jīng)濟(jì)、社會(huì)和文化的發(fā)展，要享受其基本權(quán)利，即使不是不可能，也是不容易的。這一論斷幾乎是無可置辯的了。葡萄/竹竿-----即把英語句子比作“葡萄型”結(jié)構(gòu)，葡萄主干很短，其上附結(jié)著豐碩的果實(shí)。而漢語句子則較短，一個(gè)短句接一個(gè)短句地往下敘述，逐步展開，內(nèi)容像竹竿一樣一節(jié)一節(jié)展開，常稱為“竹竿型”結(jié)構(gòu)。Shewasbeautiful,withlongdarkhairandbrilliantgreeneyes.她長(zhǎng)得很美，一頭烏黑亮麗的長(zhǎng)發(fā)，一雙晶瑩明亮的綠色眼睛。Shehassmoothakinaspaleandiridescentasthemoonshiningoverasnow-coveredlandscape.她光滑的肌膚白里透紅，宛如皎潔的月光灑在茫茫血地上。多枝共干----英語句子中還有兩個(gè)或幾個(gè)動(dòng)詞共受一個(gè)狀語修飾，共有一個(gè)主語或賓語，或者兩個(gè)或幾個(gè)狀語共同修飾一個(gè)動(dòng)詞，兩個(gè)或幾個(gè)主語或賓語共一個(gè)動(dòng)詞，這就好比幾根樹枝長(zhǎng)在同一根樹干上，我們稱為“多枝共干”式結(jié)構(gòu)。也有學(xué)者認(rèn)為英語是一種彌漫著“男子氣”的語言。邏輯性、組織性和理性是以英語為母語的民族的思維支撐點(diǎn)，從而就形成了英語的“陽剛之美”。而漢語自有漢語之美。漢語不注重對(duì)客觀現(xiàn)實(shí)作符合邏輯的形式的描摹，不執(zhí)著于形式結(jié)構(gòu)的規(guī)范，中國(guó)人的思維支撐點(diǎn)似乎更具有抽象，深邃和疏放的取向，由此繁衍生出的是顯赫的暗示和幽遠(yuǎn)的意境從而形成漢語的“陰柔之美”。漢語的魅力在于她的流散和疏放，系于她超凡的暗示力和意境性。所以漢語的形式機(jī)制很弱，主謂賓沒有形式標(biāo)定，主謂間關(guān)系松散，賓語無定格，無定位，主語的超句承接功能很強(qiáng)。如果說漢語是一種“人治”語言，那么，英語則是一種“理性”語言。漢語能化邏輯為內(nèi)在，英語則必須將邏輯外化，化作種種行合的標(biāo)記，化作啟轉(zhuǎn)承合的紐帶。英語語法規(guī)范森嚴(yán)，理性十足；英語形式邏輯縝密，滴水不漏。5．漢語是一種意境語言，一種藝術(shù)語言。寥寥數(shù)詞，就能出意境，出氛圍，出畫面。當(dāng)然，英語表情達(dá)意的優(yōu)勢(shì)也不能低估。比如，metaphor比喻就是英語最大的優(yōu)勢(shì)。這個(gè)比喻并非狹義上的把A比作B不使用比喻詞如as,like,asif等的隱喻/暗喻，而是廣義上英語詞匯的比喻義。換言之，也可以說是英語詞匯denotation（本義）之外的connotation（轉(zhuǎn)義）。試譯下面句子，仔細(xì)體會(huì)漢語在這里給人體現(xiàn)出來的意境的美，英語體現(xiàn)的邏輯很清楚的理性的美。）1．Shewasinafloodoftears.她淚流如注。（注意flood（本義是水災(zāi)）這個(gè)詞的轉(zhuǎn)義所表現(xiàn)出來的英語的美：）Thecorridorswerefloodedwithgirls.走廊里擠滿了女孩子。Strawberriesfloodedthemarketandpricesdroppeddown.草莓充斥市場(chǎng)，價(jià)格下跌。Beerfloodedfromtheglass.啤酒從杯中溢出。2．她就是這樣風(fēng)里來，雨里去，成年累月地工作著。Thisishowshecarriesonherwork,rainorshine,alltheyearround.3.人言鼎沸：Manypeopletalktogetherandthenoisetheymakeislikethebubblingofwaterboilinginacauldron.4.面如菜色：hungrylooking;lookfamished5．西湖如明鏡，千峰凝翠，洞壑幽深，風(fēng)光奇麗。（這里的漢語只有17個(gè)字，卻勾勒出西湖的意境的美，而英語則要把這里的邏輯弄清楚，再把漢語內(nèi)在的邏輯完全外化出來）TheWestLakeislikea6．Thestageofmentalcomforttowhichtheyhadarrivedatthishourwasonewhereintheirsoulsexpandedbeyondtheirskins,andspreadtheirpersonalitieswarmlythroughtheroom.他們那時(shí)所達(dá)到的歡暢階段是：神游身外，脫卻形骸，滿眼生花，滿室生春。 7．《紅樓夢(mèng)》襲人說：一百年還記得呢比不得你，拿著我的話當(dāng)耳邊風(fēng)，夜里說了，早起就忘了。（漢語具有的超凡的暗示力，英語則要把暗示的邏輯外化出來。） “IwillrememberifIlivetobeahundred”saidAroma.“Iamnotlikeyou,lettingwhatIsaygoinatoneearandoutattheotherforgettingwhat’ssaidatnightbythenextmorning.” 8.Wehadplentyofcompanyinthewayofwagon-loadsandmule-loadsoftourists---anddust.同路的有許多旅客，有乘旅游馬車的，也有騎騾子的---一路塵土飛揚(yáng)。9.Clearly,whenitcomestomarriage,practicingbeforehanddoesn’tmakeperfect.顯然，在婚姻問題上，婚前同居并不能令婚姻生活趨于完美。10.Changeispartoflifeandthemakingofcharacter.Whenthingshappenthatyoudonotlike,youhavetwochoices:Yougetbitterorbetter.變化是生活的一部分，而且也塑造了人的意志品德。當(dāng)你不喜歡的事情發(fā)生了，你有兩種選擇：要么痛苦不堪，要么痛快達(dá)觀。試翻譯以下短文：SV(studentversion),RV(revisedversion)CommentariesontheVersionof“一個(gè)女人是這樣衰老的”一個(gè)女人是這樣衰老的題目的翻譯SV：HowaWomanAges/AWoman’sAging/AWomanFadesThus/WhatcausesaWomantoGrowOld/TheWayinWhichawomanisAging/HowaWomanGetsOldRV:TheWayWomanWithers點(diǎn)評(píng)：RhetoricalDevice:distillationandaesthetichightlightsoflanguage,eitherChineseorEnglish/Thesuccessfulemploymentofalliteration(頭韻)二十歲的時(shí)候，我穿著一條背心式牛仔裙在校園里走來走去，一說話就臉紅。三十歲的我穿著名牌套裝，坐在辦公桌前，滿臉冷酷地對(duì)下屬說：“這么愚蠢的問題你也敢問也不先打個(gè)草稿。”SV:Attheageoftwenty,Iwalkedaboutonthecampus,wearingavestlikejeanskirt.MyfacewouldturnredwheneverIspeak.AfterIhaveturnedthirty,Iamseatedinfrontofabureau,inasuitoffamousbrand,reproachingasubordinatecoldly“HowdareyouasksuchastupidquestionWhydidn’tyoumakeadraftfirst”RV:Attheageoftwenty,wearingajeansjumper,Imovedaboutonthecampus,myfaceblushingthemomentIhadtheinclinationtomakeanutterance.Attheageofthirty,I,wearingafamous-brandsuitandacoldlook,reproachmysubordinatebluntly,“Howcanyougosofarastoraisesuchasilly,mindlessquestion”點(diǎn)評(píng)：Zeugma(軛式修飾法)：afigureofspeechinwhichasingleword,usuallyaverboradjective,issyntacticallyrelatedtotwoormorewords,thoughhavingadifferentsenseinrelationtoeach.Moreexamples:Thesenatorpickeduphishatandhiscourage/Shepossessedtwofalseteethandasympatheticheart/Helostthegameandhistemper.二十歲的時(shí)候，從圖書館借的是《莎士比亞全集》、《一個(gè)青年藝術(shù)家的自畫像》和《尤里西斯》。三十歲之后，床頭擺的是《跟莊密笈》、《ELLE》和《經(jīng)理人的個(gè)人魅力》.SV:Attheageoftwenty,TheCollectedWorksofShakespeare,ThePortraitofanArtistasaYoungMan,andUlysseswereborrowedfromthelibrary.Afterthirty,StrategyofSpeculationonStocks,ELLEandManager’sPersonalCharmwereputonthebedside.RV:Attheageoftwenty,IborrowedbooksfromthelibrarylikeShakespeare’sCompleteWorks,APortraitoftheArtistasaYoungMan,Ulysses.Afterthirty,onmybedside,liesuchbooksandmagazinesasTheRecipeonStocks,ElleandManager’sCharm.點(diǎn)評(píng)：Syntactically（依照句法地）,aestheticvaluegoestoEng-WeightnessinEnglish,whichisnotthecasewithChinese.Forexample:GonearethedayswhenIwasyoung.VS.ThedayswhenIwasyoungaregone.Wordcamethatbribery行賄hassenthimtoprison.VS.Wordthatbriberyhassenthimtoprisoncame.二十歲的暑假，在家鄉(xiāng)的大街上偶遇自己的暗戀對(duì)象，聽說他考上了研究生，被他的進(jìn)步所打擊，心如刀絞，想到這輩子終于不能出色得讓他看我一眼，不禁悵然淚下。三十歲之后，到處打聽那里可以花錢買個(gè)MBA.SV:At20,duringasummerholidayIencounteredmybelovedoneonthestreetofmyhometown.Iheardhewasadmittedtobeagraduate.Iwasstruckbyhisadvance.Icouldn’thelpsheddingtearsinmyextremegrief.IthoughtthatforthislifeIcouldneverachievemuchtolethimseemeinanewlight.After30,IinquireeverywherewheretopurchaseanMBAcertificate.RV:Attheageoftwenty,IranintotheyoungmanwhomIlovedinprivateinthestreetofmyhometown.Uponhearingthathehadbeenenrolledasagraduate,IwasvirtuallydealtaheavyblowbelievingreluctantlysopainfulafactthatIcouldneverdowellenoughtowinhisfavor,bittertearsstreamingdownmycheeks.Afterthirty,Ibusymyselfhereandthere,inquiringwhereIcouldbyanMBAdiploma.點(diǎn)評(píng)：Aesthetically（審美地）speaking,Englishappreciatessentencepossessingashortmainclause,withmanywords,phrasesandclausesattachedtoit,somethinglikeaclusterofgrapes,whileChinesefavorssentencestructureresemblingbamboo,onsegmentafteranother.二十歲的時(shí)候，隨時(shí)隨地向人透露我的年齡，答得比問的還快。三十歲之后，最恨別人問年齡，你要是非問不可，你猜啊。SV:Attheageoftwenty,Iwasalwaysreadytodisclosemyageonalloccasionsandcouldnotwaittospeakouttheansweruntiltheinquirerfinishedhiswords.AfterIhaveturnedthirty,Ihateanyinquiryaboutmyage.Ifyouinsist,haveaguess.RV:Attheageoftwenty,Iwassoreadytorevealmyage,tellingpeopleaboutmyagefrequentlybeforetheyinquired.Afterthirty,agebecamealmostatabootome.Ifsomebodyissonosy,Irespond,“Guess.”點(diǎn)評(píng)：Englishisalanguageofmetaphor,leavingnostoneunturnedinexploitingthemetaphoricalmeaning,orrathertheconnotative(轉(zhuǎn)義的)meaning,ofverysingleword,whileChineselanguageisheavilydenotation（本義）-dependent.二十歲的時(shí)候，一心想和體育系、美術(shù)系的男生約會(huì)。三十歲后，我簡(jiǎn)直認(rèn)為自己當(dāng)年是白癡。SV:Wheninmytwenties,Iwasonlywillingtodateboysfromsportsorartdepartment.Afterthirty,IeventhoughtIhadbeenanidiotbefore.RV:Attheageoftwenty,Ididlongtodatewiththeboysfromeitherphysicaleducation,ortheartdepartment.Afterthirty,itseemssounbelievablethatIonceidioticallypossessedthatthought.點(diǎn)評(píng)：Lexically（詞匯地）speaking,partoftheaestheticvaluegoestoflexiblewordformationinEnglishwhichdwarfsChinese二十歲的時(shí)候，有書店必須逛，有書必買。三十歲之后，對(duì)書店視而不見，直接去了隔壁的美容院。SV:Attheageoftwenty,IfrequentedthebookstoresandboughtwhateverIfound.Afterthirty,Iignoredthemandwentaheadintothenearbybeautyparlor（店?duì)I業(yè)室）.RV:Attheageoftwenty,thebookstorewasamustforme,andIwasabigbookbuyer.Whileafterthirty,payingnoattentiontothebookstore,Ibreezeintothebeautyparlornextdoor.點(diǎn)評(píng)：Itisuniversallyacknowledgedthatobscurityandabstract,occasionallycreatesmoreaestheticvalue,whichcanaccomplishmoreaccuracyandgracefulness.二十歲的時(shí)候，老媽打電話，不等說完三句就恨不能掛了電話。三十歲之后，一聽到媽的聲音就禁不住哭出聲來：“媽呀，您老的所有擔(dān)心現(xiàn)在都應(yīng)驗(yàn)了……”SV:Attheageoftwenty,whenmotherphonesme,Iamanxioustohangupimmediately.Aftertheageofthirty,onhearingmother’svoiceonthephone,Icannothelpcryingout,“Mom,allthatyouworryabouthavecometrue.”RV:Attheageoftwenty,whiletalkingwithmymotheroverthephone,Iwantedtohangupbeforemymotherhadfinishedafewwords.Afterthirty,thevoiceofMominvariablytriggersmycrying,“Mom,yourworriesaboutmymarriagehaveallcometrue.”點(diǎn)評(píng)：Chineseexpressionsinvolvemoreobscurity,asignoflavishlyartistically-conceived（持有藝術(shù)的）language,whileEnglishpins（緊扣）moreaestheticvalueonclarityandlegibility（易辨認(rèn),易理解）,amanifestationofalanguagelargelygovernedbylogic.傅雷：東方人和西方人的思想方式有基本分歧，我人重綜合、重歸納重暗示、重含蓄；西方人則重分析，細(xì)微曲折、挖掘惟恐不盡，描寫惟恐不周。王力：西洋語法是硬的，沒有彈性；中國(guó)語法是軟的，富有彈性。中國(guó)語法以達(dá)意為主。楊振寧：中國(guó)的文化是模糊、朦朧及總體的方向走，而西方的文化是向準(zhǔn)確而具體的方向走。漢語，寫詩卻是一個(gè)優(yōu)點(diǎn)。二十歲的時(shí)候，我真想往前沖，誰也別擋我。三十歲之后，我真想賴著不走啊，又快過年了。SV:Attheageoftwenty,Idashedforwardwithoutanyapprehension.Inmythirties,Istrivetohangontothemoment:anotherNewYearislooming.RV:Attheageoftwenty,Idashedforwardwithoutanyconcernforthepassingdaysandyears.Inmythirties,Istrivetohangontoeverymoment:Unfortunately,anotherNewYearloomsonthehorizon.點(diǎn)評(píng)：TheChinesetextseemstobevagueandimplicit;theliteralversiondonebymystudentgoeslikethis:Attheageoftwenty,Idashedforwardwithoutanyapprehension.Inmythirties,Istrivetohangontothemoment:anotherNewYearislooming.CouldyouunderstandthisliteralversionButIwouldmakeafewchanges:“Attheageoftwenty,Idashedforwardwithoutanyconcernforthepassingdaysandyears.Inmythirties,Istrivetohangontoeverymoment:Unfortunately,anotherNewYearloomsonthehorizon.”二十歲的時(shí)候，我想出名要趁早，一個(gè)人到了三十歲還籍籍無名那還活個(gè)什么勁呀三十歲之后，名是不指望了，只希望在四十歲的時(shí)候能象我老板一樣有錢。SV:Attheageoftwenty,Isaid,togainfame,theearlierthebetter.Howdullitshouldbeoneisstillinfamousinherthirties!Inmythirties,reputationisnolongermydesire.Ionlyhaveawishtobeasrichasmybossinmyforties.RV:Attheageoftwenty,it’sbettertobefamousbeforeit’stoolate,Ibelieved.Whatwouldbethespiceoflifeforapersondeserted(放棄)byfamewhenapproachingthirtyAfterthirty,fameseemsstillbeyondreach,yetbeingasrichasmybossatfortybecomesmynewdream.點(diǎn)評(píng)：OneoftheimportantcriteriainaestheticjudgementforEnglishishypotaxis(形合),whileChineseisalanguageofparataxis(意合);thelogicsyntacticalrelationshipisself-evident.Makeacomparison:燕子去了，有再來的時(shí)候；楊柳枯了，有再青的時(shí)候；桃花謝了，有再開的時(shí)候。但是，聰明的，你告訴我，我們的日子為什么一去不復(fù)返呢 Swallowsmayhavegone,butthereisatimeofreturn;willowtreesmayhavediedback,butthereisatimeofregreening;peachblossomsmayhavefallen,buttheywillbloomagain.Now,youthewise,tellme,whyshouldourdaysleaveus,nevertoreturn10．二十歲的時(shí)候，擁擠在人頭攢動(dòng)的公共大巴上，吃著甜筒，挺開心。三十歲之后，看見破舊骯臟的的士都心煩，拜托！油價(jià)一跌，就去買車吧，一路開往小康。SV:Attheageoftwenty,Ifelthappysqueezedinacrammedbuseatinganice-cream.AfterIhaveturnedthirty,Ihatetolookatthedirty,worn-outtaxis.Thankgoddess!Oncetheoilpricedeclines,I’’llbuyacartomyselfanddriveallthewaytoacomfortablelife.RV:Attheageoftwenty,Ifeltsocontentedsandwichedinajammedbus,eatingicecream.Afterthirty,eventhesightofashabbyandsordid(骯臟的)taximaysickenme.Ok!Whentheoilpricegoesdown,Iwillbuyacar,drivealongtheroadofWell-To-Do(小康的).點(diǎn)評(píng)：ImpersonalSubjectSentenceistheprideofEnglishlanguage,invitingmuchaestheticvalue,whileChinese,syntacticallyneglectingtheemploymentofsubject,employfewimpersonalsubjects.11．二十歲的時(shí)候，打賭說我這輩子不可能土到死守在一個(gè)地方，生活在別處嘛。三十歲之后，我為了在這座城市買個(gè)滿意又便宜的房子跑斷了雙腿。SV:Attheageoftwenty,IbettherewasfatchancethatIshouldrusticallylivemylifetimeinoneplace,asthesayinggoes,abeautifullifeoccurselsewhere.Inmythirties,Isparenostrengthrunningforadecentandinexpensivehouseinthelocalcity.RV:Attheageoftwenty,IbetthatIwouldneverresideinonecitytherestofmylife.I’dchoosetoliveindifferentplaces.Afterthirty,Iranmyfeetoffsearchingforanapartment,satisfyingandcheap.點(diǎn)評(píng)：Awaytoachieveend-weight:after-positionadjectivesForexample:Hecomesintothelightofevery-daylikeagreatleviathan(《圣經(jīng)》中象征邪惡的)海中怪獸,巨物)ofthedeep,breakingthesmoothsurfaceofacceptedthings,gay,serious,andsportive.12．二十歲的時(shí)候，看小說專挑和愛情有關(guān)的情節(jié)看。三十歲之后，我在聊天室里的代號(hào)叫“不談愛情”。SV:Attheageoftwenty,Ionlyreadparagraphsaboutliveinreadingnovels.Attheageof30,mynamewas“nospeakinglove”inchat-roomontheInternet.RV:Attheageoftwenty,whilereadinganovel,Iabandonedmyselftothechaptersexclusivelydevotedtoromance.Afterthirty,Idubbedmyselfas“NoMentionofLove.”intheInternetchat-room點(diǎn)評(píng)：Carefulhandlingofregisterrecruitinvitesmoreaestheticappreciation.13．二十歲的時(shí)候，一聽到名人就激動(dòng)不已，就歡呼雀躍，就奮不顧身往前沖。三十歲之后，一聽到名人就若有所失，就心煩意亂，就怒火中燒，就……不知道什么滋味，特別是年輕的，漂亮的，女的名人。SV:WhenIwastwenty,hearingthenameofthefamousman,IwouldbesoexitedthatIcouldalmostjumpupwithcheeranddashedaheadregardlessofmysafety.Afterthirty,Iwasindifferent,annoyed,flewintoatemperandIhadnofeelingtohearthenameo