2023年廣州一模讀后續(xù)寫jobos+on+the+hill+講義 高考英語作文復(fù)習(xí)專項

續(xù)寫原文SandyandJanecametoseethejobotreeonthehilltopagain.Jobosweretheirfavoritefruit,butthetreebelongedtoaladywholivedinthehousebythehill.Theyheardshewasdifficult,butthatsometimesshewouldgivefruitinreturnforanerrand（差使）.Thegirlsfinallygatheredtheircouragetoknockonherdoor.Anelderlywomanwithafiercelookanswered,staringdownatthegirls.“Weheard…,”saidSandy,hervoiceshaky,“thatyougivejobosinpaymentforrunninganerrand.”Theladyraisedoneeyebrow,thenwentintothekitchenandtooktwobaskets.Shepushedthemintothegirls’hands.“Gofillthesewithjobos,andcomerightback.”Thegirlsracedupthehilltothetreeandfilledthebasketswiththeripestjobos.Backatthehouse,theladyfilledabagwithriceandhandedittoSandy.“TakethisbagandonebasketofjobostotheBrownfamily.Andaskthemforthepayment,”theladyaddedwithatightsmile.“Ifyoureturnwithoutthepayment,youwon’tgetthefruit.”Thegirlsstruggledallthewaywiththebagandthebasket.Whentheywerethere,Mrs.Brownansweredthedoor.Insideonthefloorwerethreelittlechildren,eachpaintingsomethingonpapers.Mr.Brownwaslyingsickinbed.Timeswerehard.Thegirlshandedherthefood.“Thisisfromtheladywiththejobotree,”saidSandy.

“Sheaskedforthepayment,too.”Janesaidawkwardly.

“Thepayment!Thepayment!”Thechildrenrepeated,wavingthepaperintheirhandshappily.SandyandJanelookedateachotherstrangely.Withasmile,Mrs.BrownhandedSandyalargesealed（密封的）envelopesofullthatitwasalmoststartingtobreakopen.Thegirlssaidgoodbyeandleftquickly.“Iwonder,”Sandymurmured,“whetherMrs.Browncanaffordtopayforthatfood.”段首句

Worried,thetwogirlsdiscussedwhatwasintheenvelopeastheywalkedback.Theladyopenedtheenvelope,tookoutapileofpapers,andsmiled.主題：人與社會，助人話題

讀后續(xù)寫前文簡介一對小女孩很喜歡jobo果，但聽說jobo樹的主人是一個難相處的女士，有時可以通過幫她跑腿獲得jobo果。于是她們鼓起勇氣詢問了這個女士，幫這個女士送東西給MrBrown一家人，并須帶回“payment”才可獲得jobo果。后文的續(xù)寫一般在閱讀的前文中會埋下伏筆，我們在進行續(xù)寫時，要盡量貼近前文的內(nèi)容，使得續(xù)寫的故事與前文的故事情節(jié)能夠和諧地銜接起來。那我們?nèi)绾握曳P呢？

如何找伏筆

就這篇故事而言，我們在閱讀中發(fā)現(xiàn)，作者有意識地多處刻畫了thelady的神態(tài)，反復(fù)給讀者強調(diào)“Theyheardshewasdifficult”這個傳言。比如以下這幾句：

Theyheardshewasdifficult...

Anelderlywomanwithafiercelook...

theladyaddedwithatightsmile...這種對人物同一方面細(xì)節(jié)的多處刻畫，我們就要留心了，是否作者此處的刻畫是有意留伏筆呢。在故事閱讀到中后段時，出現(xiàn)對MrBrown一家的家庭現(xiàn)狀和情緒神態(tài)的描寫也顯得稍有矛盾，不合情理。既然這一家子里，MrBrown臥病在床，且還有三個年幼的娃要撫養(yǎng)，為什么在這一對姐妹提出payment時反而是興奮開心而非愁悶?zāi)?，且這一對姐妹也表達出了其中的奇怪之處。文中句子如下：

“Thepayment!Thepayment!”Thechildrenrepeated,wavingthepaperintheirhands

happily.

Witha

smile,Mrs.BrownhandedSandyalargesealed(密封的)envelopesofullthatitwasalmoststartingtobreakopen.因此，閱讀故事中感受到了與故事背景有明顯的矛盾或是不合情理之處，我們也要多留心，有可能是伏筆。

伏筆外顯

既然確定了伏筆，那續(xù)寫的內(nèi)容也比較好辦了。我們可以通過兩種方式來確定

寫作內(nèi)容。1.人物反差

原文：Theyheardshewasdifficult...

續(xù)寫：“Thepaintingsarethebestpaymentforme.MrsBrownhasatoughtimetogetthroughwithherhusbandsickandthreechildrentobringup.”

SandyandJanetrulyfelttherewas

agentleheartunderneathhertightsmile.2.回應(yīng)伏筆

原文：“Thepayment!Thepayment!”Thechildrenrepeated,wavingthepaperintheirhandshappily.

續(xù)寫：Sheplacedherpalmsonenvelope,reflectedonthefamilyandsuddenlysheclaimed,

“Paintings!Itmustbethegirls’paintings!”

原文：“Ifyoureturnwithoutthepayment,youwon'tgetthefruit.”

續(xù)寫：“Wedidn’tcomebackwiththepayment.關(guān)于此篇讀后續(xù)寫的第二段范本的看法：續(xù)寫的第二段內(nèi)容，故事主題稍微有點偏，故事內(nèi)容銜接上讀起來感覺也不太流暢。所以，重新根據(jù)自己的看法和對這篇故事的理解，對第二段續(xù)寫內(nèi)容重新改寫了一個版本寫作第二節(jié)(原范文第二段)Theladyopenedtheenvelope,tookoutapileofpapersandsmiled.0nthepaperswerecolorfuldrawingsfromthechildren.Atthisscene,SandyandJanelookedateachotherandsmiled.Then,thegirlsgainedtheirpayment-fullbasketofripejobos..Forthem,itturnedoutthattheirerrandnotonlygainedthemtheirfavoritefruit,butalsoasweettasteofgettingpaymentbytheirhardworkwhentheytookabite,thejuicewasassweetasthefeelinginsidetheirheart.寫作第二節(jié)(修改范文第二段)Theladyopenedtheenvelope,tookoutapileofpapersandsmiled.Asexpected,thepapersarepaintings.Withoutwaitinggirlstoaskforjobos，theladytookonebasketofjobos,andpushedittothegirls.Holdingthebaskettightly.SandyandJanelookedateachotherwithcuriosity.“Wedidn'tcomebackwiththepayment.Wouldyoustillofferusthejobos?”Sandyasked,withpuzzledeyes.paintingsarethebest