【省級公開課】讀后續(xù)寫講評 Honesty Wont Let You Down

讀后續(xù)寫講評HonestyWon’tLetYouDown

Asad,an_______andhardworkingboy,wasanewcomertotheschoolwithoutfriendsaround.Onedayhewasinsucha________thatheforgottotake______withhim.Asaresult,hehadeitherto_________foodorborrowmoneyfromFahad,anarrogantboywhowasoneoftherichestboysandthoughteveryoneelsewasa_________.

Naturally,Fahad_____________hisrequestandevenlaughedathim,whichmadehim__________(embarrass).Leftaloneonthebenchinfrontofthecanteen,hequite______________spottedawalletonthebench.Heimmediatelyrecognizedit_________toFahad,withalotofmoneyinside.UnderstandingthestoryturneddownhurrymoneygowithoutloserhonestembarrassedaccidentallybelongedUnderlinetheimportantdetailsinthetext.Asadwasa13-year-oldboywhowasveryhonest

andhardworking.Recently,hehadenteredanew

schoolsohehadno

friendsyet,OnMondaymorning,hewasnearlylate

for

school.Thenightbefore,hisfamilyattendedhiscousin’sweddingandreachedhomelate,whichwaswhyhecouldn’t

get

up

on

timeasusual.

Atschool,Asadcouldnotpayattentiontoanythingandwantedthebelltoringsothathecouldbuy

something

to

eat.Afterafewhours,whenthebellrang,Asadquicklyopenedhisschoolbagtofindhismoney,butjustthenherememberedthathehadleftforschoolinahurryinthemorningandforgotten

totakemoney,Helookedunderhisbooks,hopingtofindsomemoneybuttherewasnothing.

Notknowingwhattodo,hewalkedoutoftheclassroomandsatonabenchinfrontofthecanteen.Hesawafewofhisclassmatesthere,amongthemwasFahad.Hewasoneoftherichest

kidsinhisclassbuthewasaveryarrogantboywhothoughteveryoneelsewasaloser.ButasAsadwasnew,hedidn’tknowmuchaboutFahad.

WhenhewenttowardsFahadandaskedifhecouldborrowsomemoneyforhislunch,Fahadlaughed

alotandsaid,“Iknewyouwerealoser,maybeabeggar?"Fahadlaughedoutsoloudthatotherkidsalsoheardandmadefunofthesituation.Hedidn’tanswerFahad,andslowlywalkedbacktowardsanempty

bench.ReadingWhenhereachedthebench,henoticedsomethinglyingnearit.Itwasawallet.Hepickeditup

andrecognizeditasFahad's,asherememberedFahadshowingittohisfriendsandtellingthathisuncleboughtitforhimfromtheUK.Therewasquitealotofmoneyinsideforakid.

Para1:Atfirst,AsadwantedtoKeepitasecretandpunishedFahad.

______________________________________________________________________________

Para2:ThenFahadsaid,“Whyareyougivingitback?”______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ReadingReading

problem---solution---problem---solution---problem---solutionUnderstandingthestoryStorylineEmotionlineStorylinenew,nofriends,nomoneyborrow…fromFahadFrefusedtherequest,laughatSpottedF’swalletWhattodowiththewallet？lonely,helplesshopefulunhappy,embarrassedexcitedtorn？Echotheimportantdetailsinyourwriting.

Para1:Atfirst,Asadwantedtokeepitasecretandpunished

Fahad.

Para2:ThenFahadsaid,“Whyareyougivingitback?!”Whatinformationcanyougetfromthegivensentences?WhathappenedbeforeFahadaskedthequestion?1.DidAsadchangehismindatthelastminute?Whatmadehimchangehismind?2.Whatwashisnewidea?3.HowdidhegivebackthewalletandwhatwasFahad’sreaction?1.HowdidAsadexplainthewholething?Andhowdidhefeel?2.DidFahadbelievehisexplanation?Andwhatdidhedo?3.Asad’sreflections./Whatdidtheyeachlearnfromtheincident?Threeconnectionsandonecoda點1:位于續(xù)寫第一段段首，流暢銜接前面的記敘文和第一段段首語：點2:位于續(xù)寫第一段段尾，流暢銜接第二段段首語：點3:位于續(xù)寫第二段段首，續(xù)寫銜接第二段段首語；點4:文章結(jié)尾升華，給予讀者正能量，揭示和強調(diào)劇情的寓意。Makeadraft:Threeconnectionsandonecoda(Payattentiontowordchoice)續(xù)寫參考思路：

Paragraph1:Atfirst,AsadwantedtokeepitasecretandpunishedFahad.思路1：我內(nèi)心糾結(jié)

---做誠實的人這一信念讓我做出歸還的決定---我追上去，歸還錢包---

Fahad不解地拿了回去；

思路2：我想看他出丑，作為對我嘲笑的報復(fù)---理智（做個誠實人）讓我把錢包還給他。

Paragraph2:ThenFahadsaid,"Whyareyougivingitback?"思路1：我解釋了我內(nèi)心的想法----被觸動，他對我表示感謝，對所有人表示歉意---請我們吃午餐，成為好朋友

---誠實讓我收獲了友誼和信任；思路2：Fahad懷疑我的動機---我解釋原因---借我錢，成了好朋友–反思：honesty伴我同行。

Soembarrassedwashethathestoodthereclumsily,feelingtheblood

rushtohisface.Helowered

hisbody,hesitatedforamoment,wonderinghowtohidehisinner

embarrassment.Heopenedhermouth,his

face

turning

red.Alltheairseemedtodisappearandhefelt

as

ifthewholeworldwerewatchinghim.Languageaccumulation--embarrassment

AninnervoiceaskedmetobuythepairofbootsIliked,butanothervoicecameintomymind,urgingmetobuysomedecorationsandfeastsforthefamily.

Feelingquitetornbetween....And....,

Icouldhardlymakethedecision.Languageaccumulation–糾結(jié)Honest---Beinghonest--Honesty

Asadcongratulatedhimselfonmakingtherightdecision,makingtheschoollifeaheadnolongerlonely.Thebelief“Beinghonestwon’tletyoudown”willstickwithhimthroughthetoughdaysahead.

Asadscratchedhishead,notknowinghowtorespondtoFahad’sapologies,butheknewhewas,hasbeenandwillbehonest.

MakeagoodendingA.Message點睛式：

Beinghonestnotonlyhelpedhimgainothers’trustbutalsomadenewfriendsinthisnewschool，anewchapterof

lifebeginningtounfoldbeforehim.

MakeagoodendingB.環(huán)境描寫烘托式：

Bathedinthewarmnoonsunshine,Asadcouldn’thelpsmiling,gladthathissimplehonestywasrewardedwithsuchalargecircleofnicefriends!

Moreexamples:

Outsidethewindow,thebirdsperchedonthetopofthebranchessinging

happily,asifcelebratingmywisechoice.

MakeagoodendingC.展望將來式：

Withmorefriendsaround,Asadwasconvincedthatanewlifewaswaitingforhimtoexplore.

MakeagoodendingD.回首反思式：

Lookingback,Asadcongratulatedhimselfonmakingtherightdecision,whichhelpedhimturnoverachapteroflife.

MakeagoodendingE.自然過程式：Bybeinghonestandsayingthetruth,notonlydidAsadgetsomemoneytobuylunchwhenFahadlenthimsome,buthewasalsoabletomakenewfriends.Ontheotherhand,Fahad’slifechanged,allhisprideandselfishnesswentawayandhelearnedanimportantlesson,that“Honestywon’tletyoudown.”MakeagoodendingAtfirst,AsadwantedtokeepitasecretandpunishedFahad.Atleasthecouldaffordthelunchnow.However,anothervoicepoppedup,urginghimtogiveitbacktoFahad,whichmadehimfeeltorn.“Ishouldneverkeepthewalletatthecostofmyhonesty,andFahadwouldbeextremelyembarrassedwithoutanymoneyinthepresenceofsomanyclassmates!”Asadconvincedhimself.Oncehemadeuphismind,heacceleratedhispaceandcaughthimup.“Fahad,it’syourwalletandIfounditonthebench.”Takingoverthewallet,FahadstaredintoAsad’seyeswithapuzzledlookwritten