一個加拿大人在瑞士居住的感受伸手向你要錢的乞丐都是說5門外語

1、1/ 5這是之前國外比較火的一篇由一個居住在瑞士的加拿大人寫的吐槽文，甚 至網(wǎng)上后來還衍生了一個詞“ Mother Fucki ng Swis 麻痹瑞。瑞士人奇葩一般的存在著?！癐 have an acronym for situations like th-isMother Fucking Swiss. I love/hate thesepeople.我對瑞士人有一個縮寫-麻痹瑞。我心里同時喜歡/討厭這些人。You park a bit crooked, but still inside the lines, and the neighbors call the police? MFS 你停

2、車停得有點歪一一但還是在線里，然后下一秒，鄰居就叫來了 警察！麻痹瑞。Youre training for a triathlon, cycling top speed, and get passed by a man in a suit on amountainbike? MFS你在訓(xùn)練三項全能，騎車到最高速的時候，旁邊一個穿著西裝去上班的男 人騎著自行車輕松超過你。麻痹瑞。A (rare) homeless man hits you up for change, and it turns out that he speaks 5 Ian guages?MFS個流浪漢(極其罕見)向你討要零錢

3、，然后你發(fā)現(xiàn)他會五國語 言。麻痹瑞。Youremeetingfriendsinastrangetownandyourphonedies,soyouaskinbarsandhotelswhetheryoucanusetheirs,andeverysinglepersonlooksatyoulikeanalien;theycantevencomprehend the level of disorganization that would result in an unexpectedly dead phone, andallrefuse you help, thinking it must be

4、some kind of trick? MFS你和你朋友約在一個陌生的地方見面，但是你的手機沒電了，如果你進去 某個酒吧或者酒店里問他們是否能讓你打個電話，他們會用看外星人的眼光看 著你他們無法想象一個人生活居然可以這么沒有計劃，連手機沒電這種事 情都沒預(yù)先計劃好。然后就拒絕借用電話。麻痹瑞。Youre applying for an apartment with a garden, and ask if you can plant in it too. You know,sometomatoes,apumpkin,whatever.TheCorbusier-lookingmother*ers

5、uckshisteethandthenfinally says perhaps. if you can prove geometricallythat these plants would be elegant additionsto the overall theme of the space.MMMFFFFSSSS2/ 5你租個一個帶花園的房子，問你的房東是否可以在后院里種些南瓜，西紅 柿什么的，她會說?？梢园桑绻隳茏C明這些東西長成后不會破壞總體的空間和外觀和諧 度。麻麻麻麻痹瑞。Climbingaterrifyingridgeandgetpassedbyaheavilypregnan

6、twoman,annoyedatyourslowness. MFS攀登的時候被一個挺著大肚子的孕婦超過，臉上還帶著一副對你慢動作的 鄙視和厭煩。麻痹瑞。Fire needs to be lit / shed needs to be built / any physical task needs to be done properly?Ask theCanadian. MFS火得是點亮的，棚子得是搭好的，所有事情要按規(guī)律按秩序做好。麻痹 瑞。Thebarclosesat12:00.At11:55thebartenderannounceslastcall,at11:59:59thelastpatr

7、onleaves the door, and at12:00:01 the police appear. MFS酒吧 12 點關(guān)門， 11 點 55 分的時候酒吧會提醒說最后一次點酒， 11 點 59 分 59 秒的時候最后一個顧客離開， 12 點 01 分的時候如果還不關(guān)門警察就出 現(xiàn)。麻痹瑞。Youhikeuptoahighalpinecabin.Theother(swiss)climbers,inperfectunison,andwithouttalking about it, sit down to eat, consume their bread, soup, and cheese

8、in the same order,starttheir ovomaltine together, finish at the same time, go in shifts to brush their teeth, and, intotalsynchronicity hit the sack at precisely 10:00. The next day, without alarms, every personsteps outofbedat6:00,eatsbreakfast,andisgoneby7:00.Youhangoutuntilnoontosoakuptheincredib

9、le scenery and the sole staff member subtly mocks your hiking plans with his eyebrowandtone. Ze col de la Forcla in zose boots!? MFS你和其他瑞士人一起去騎行，他們在度假屋休息吃飯的時候，很有默契的 完全一句話沒說就各自坐好，然后點了一樣的面包，湯還有芝士。然后一起同 時吃完，輪流有序去刷牙， 10點準時上床睡覺。第二天全部 6 點準時起床，吃 早餐，然后 7 點全走了。你睡過頭了一直睡到中午，度假屋工作人員還會用眉 毛和語調(diào)嘲笑你的騎行計劃。麻痹瑞。You: We

10、 should get moving if were going to catch that train. MFS: What? Why? The train3/ 5leavesin 13 minutes and its only a 7 minute walk, or 9.5 if you stop to buy cigarettes.你：我們要快點走了，不然趕不及火車。麻痹瑞：為啥？火車 13 分鐘后才會開，我們走路 7 分鐘就到了，即使你停 下買包香煙，那也才 9 分半鐘。Hey, can I talk to you about a trip to Canada in January?

11、You: Ok, its a bit early for flightsandstuff but it pays to think in advance I suppose. wait. January of whatyear? MFS: 2015 麻. 痹瑞：我可以和你談?wù)勔辉碌臅r候去加拿大旅游的事嗎？你：現(xiàn)在訂機票還有點早，不過早點付款也不錯的。等等 是哪年的 一月？麻痹瑞：2015 年(文章發(fā)表于兩年前)Swiss boss: Lets meet at the hotel in Munich (300 km away) at 8:25 pm. And we did.麻痹瑞老板：我們早上

12、8 點 25 分在德國慕尼黑(距離 300 公里)的酒店碰 面吧。然后真的準時到達。Youbuysomelard(smokedbacon,meanttobeeatenuncooked)atthefarmersmarket.Itsgoodraw,butyouwanttotryitfried.Yourco- workersmellsitfromhisoffice,suspectswhatyoureup to, and bursts into the kitchen yelling You cannot DO zis! MFS你在農(nóng)產(chǎn)品市場里買了一些熏肉，可以生吃的，但你想試試炒一下。你的 同事聞到

13、了氣味然后報警，警察沖進你的廚房制止你：你不能這么做！麻痹 瑞。The used bike is 485 francs. I offer 400. Long stare. My price, I think, reflects the actualqualityof the frame, components, and labor. MFS二手車價格 485 法郎，你還價 400。麻痹瑞： “我的這個價格，我覺得，體 現(xiàn)了車的材料，設(shè)計工藝和勞力價格，所以是合理的 ”。麻痹瑞。 Im from Canada, have you been? Oh,on a small trip, I spent

14、 one month by bicycle inQuebec,andthenboughtamotorhomeanddrovetovancouver-whatalongdrive!Ilovedtheopenprairies - and then sold the motorhome and spent the next weeksskii ng. Whistler was nice but Iprefer Cham onix for the apreTell me, is the climbing in Squamish as good as theysay? And how do you co

15、mpare Big White4/ 5with Whistler? And do you prefer New York, Montreal,or San Francisco? I found things to loveabout each place. I.I, uh, Ive never been to any ofthose places.MFS“我來自加拿大，你去過加拿大了嗎？ ”麻痹瑞： “額。只去過一小段時間呢。我用了一個月在魁北克省（加拿大 地點，下同）騎行，然后買了個房車開著去溫哥華，開了很久！我喜歡沿途的 草原。然后我賣了房車，花了一個星期去滑雪?；菟估帐遣诲e但我還是更喜歡 霞慕尼的滑雪文化。對了，在斯闊米什登山真的像他們說的那么好玩嗎？大白 山滑雪度假村和惠斯勒比哪個更好？那你喜歡紐約， 蒙特利爾，還是舊金山？ 每個地方我都有喜歡之處。 ”“。我沒有去過這些地方 ”。麻痹瑞。People on the train begin to grumble and get exasperat