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哈佛大學(xué)個(gè)人陳述PS三篇優(yōu)秀范文示例撰寫留學(xué)文書最難的部分是personal statement(PS),我們可以通過以下三篇優(yōu)秀的哈佛大學(xué)優(yōu)秀essay來了解下,如何撰寫高質(zhì)量的文章。第一篇申請(qǐng)美國(guó)哈佛大學(xué)的Essay范文,以音樂才能為主題,采用的是場(chǎng)景描述式來制造戲劇沖突,引起讀者注意。Essay題材類型為talent。Essay短文講述了作者的才能:Music。A special PerformanceI stood behind the curtains listening to the applause to the previous act. I exhaled, realizing that this was a moment that fulfilled my childhood wish. Tonight was special because instead of an alto aria or a jazz lick, I had prepared a song unique to my identity. I curled my fingers around the microphone and waited impatiently as the curtains opened.My love for performance stemmed from my appreciation of music as a child. In the city in China where I spent the first ten years of my life, I never found a choir to join and never laid eyes on a grand piano. Nonetheless, I treasured my passion for song and sought ways to bring music into my life. I sang with our old record player when I was barely tall enough to reach it. On certain afternoons, my best friend and I would tape bed sheets to the ceiling as curtains and invite neighbors to come listen. There, we sang in duet, danced, and bowed while clasping each others hands. Captured in our own musical sanctuary, we never noticed the hours that passed by.Music evokes in me the emotions that words and pictures cannot. I also revel in the intellectual challenges that music offers. I find it thrilling to tackle difficult, delicious repertoire, and I enjoy composing my own melodies. Through music, I can share and celebrate my past. When I was asked to share my cultural talents at my high school, I looked for a song that my mother sang when I was young, but I could not find the sheet music. A week before tonight, I sat down by the old piano in the practice room at school. With only the old tune ringing faintly in my mind, my hands soon took a life of their own and experimented with chords, arpeggios, and trills. I superimposed these on the original melody and composed variations. My voice, too, frolicked with the piano as I sang the tune repeatedly. I was lost in another musical paradise. I felt like a child again, tucked under the covers, listening to my mothers song as I drifted away to dreams.Now, dressed in an old Chinese dress that my mother had worn in her youth, I stepped onto the empty stage illuminated by pale blue light. I held the microphone up to my lips and smiled before starting. Then, I brought to life the beautiful ballad that had brightened my childhood in China. My mind overflowed with warm memories of that faraway city as I lulled the audience with my melody. When I caught my mothers face in the audience, I knew she nestled in the same air of nostalgia.Music allows me to present my native culture and contribute to the diversity in my community. It has stimulated my mind and provided an outlet for my creativity. To me, nothing is more pleasurable than being imaginative. Carrying my childhood love of music through my teenage years has been a gratifying experience, and I look forward to continuing in my undergraduate years.哈佛大學(xué)Essay申請(qǐng)范文分析與點(diǎn)評(píng) AnalysisThe beauty of this students essay is that she opens herself up to us, the readers. She starts with a catchy opening, explaining in rich detail how she is standing behind the curtain and why the night is especially meaningful to her. We can feel what she feels as she stands there. She gives a detailed visual description and explains her thoughts as well.The author then explains the roots of her interest in music. By sharing her childhood experience, she demonstrates how this has been a lifelong passion for her. We can imagine her as a child with her friend, putting on performances for the neighbors. Knowing how an authors interest in a given field of study began can add depth and dimension to the readers overall characterization of the student.In the third paragraph, our musician shares what goes through her mind. This is valuable to admissions officers because they can see her ability to analyze her thoughts and her level of self awareness. Self refection demonstrates maturity and the capability to take a step back from a situation and see the deeper meaning of it. She explains why she is so tied to music and why it is an intellectual experience for her to recall her childhood song from memory and slowly piece it together.Through her essay, we understand why this specific performance holds such great meaning. We see the connection to her past and to her mother. She makes several accomplishments through her writingsharing an extracurricular interest, touching on her childhood growing up in China, revealing the intellectual side of her talent, and showing the connection that she has to her heritage and her family. After reading this essay, the admissions officers probably felt that they had a deeper understanding of who this student was and that she was someone theyd like to get to know better.My Heart is BigWhoever meets me the first time shows sympathy to my appearance. I am 5, 6” tall but just 80 pounds. Even my parents are concerned with my emaciation. My mom always told people when I was bom I was only three poundsand I was diagnosed with a severe heart problem. Nobody expected I could survive long. It seems that the fact I have turned 18 is nothing but a miracle of God. At home, my parents tried to prevent me from any heavy labor but they were wrong. Yes, I am very thin but I am okay. In reality, I often surprise people who belittle me. I might look emaciated, but my heart had been big and I am strong now.On the basketball courtBoys, especially on the basketball court, would pay a big price for their misjudging of me. One day I was playing basketball by myself. A group of boys came to me and asked me to clear the court for them. “ Why should I do that? I came first and I am still playing,” I refused their request. “Are you kidding me? You play basketball?” All of them started laughing at me. u Hey, you, do you dare to take a one-on-one with me?” Provoked by the boys, I picked the tallest one to be my opponent. Changing the speed, breaking through, and then a perfect hook shot, out of their expectations, I got one point easily. This is me, thin but not weak.As the monitorTeachers would show sympathy to my emaciated image. In the first day of senior year, nobody wanted to be the class monitor considering the heavy work load at this critical moment. When our new teacher was trying to find out what to do, I raised my hand, and said, “I want to be the monitor and I am confident I will do a great job.” After I volunteered to take the responsibility, the class fell into silence. I could see from my teacher s eyes that she doubted whether I was capable to do this job. “Give me three months probation period. If I fail, you could choose someone else,” I said to my teacher in a firm tone. It turned out that everyone s doubt was eliminated in the following three months because I kept everything in great order and our class was far ahead others in the evaluation of the whole grade. This is me, thin but not As the child of my parentsBelieve it or not even my parents were always underestimating my strength. In 9th grade, I was selected to be an exchange student in Singapore TanjongKatong Secondary School. Excited at the news, I told my parents immediately but they did not feel happy about it at all. Repeatedly they tried to persuade me out of this because they were worried about my health and they did not want me to go abroad alone. “Mom and Dad, you cannot protect me all the time. I can take care of myself. I promise. ” With great effort, I got their permission and spent a week alone in Singapore. I made friends with local students and I really enjoyed my life there. This is me, thin but not weak.Facing my futureWhen I decided to further my study in the United States, to my surprise my parents did not say “ no ” ; instead, they said that now they were convinced that their daughter was thin but not weak. I felt really grateful that my parents eventually saw the big heart in me. I don,t want to prove anything, but I don,t want to be belittled either. What I want to do is to be regarded as a normal person to share the same responsibilities and enjoy the same days.文章翻譯:我的心很大每個(gè)人第一次見到我都會(huì)露出一副憐惜的神情。我有著一米六八的個(gè)頭卻只有80斤重。就連我的爸 爸媽媽也擔(dān)心我太過瘦弱。媽媽經(jīng)常對(duì)別人講我出生的時(shí)候只有三斤多重,醫(yī)生診斷我患有嚴(yán)重的心臟病。人們都覺得我活不了多久,而我現(xiàn)在活到了 18歲可以說是一個(gè)奇跡。在家里,爸爸媽媽總是讓我遠(yuǎn) 離一切繁重的勞動(dòng),但其實(shí)他們錯(cuò)了。我的確很瘦弱,但是我可以的。實(shí)際上,我經(jīng)常讓那些看輕我的 人感到驚訝。我可能看上去很瘦小,但其實(shí)我的心很大,這讓我現(xiàn)在變得很強(qiáng)大。在籃球場(chǎng)上男生會(huì)因?yàn)閷?duì)我做出錯(cuò)誤的判斷而付出很大的代價(jià),特別是在籃球場(chǎng)上。一天我正在獨(dú)自打籃 球。一群男孩沖我走過來讓我騰出場(chǎng)地給他們玩?!拔覟槭裁匆@么做?我比你們先到,而且我還在玩 呢?!蔽揖芙^了他們的要求?!澳汩_玩笑呢吧?你會(huì)打籃球? ”所有人都開始嘲笑我?!昂伲?,你敢 不敢和我一對(duì)一來一場(chǎng)? ”我被這群男生激怒了,于是挑了其中最高的一個(gè)挑戰(zhàn)。變速,突破,然后一 個(gè)完美的勾手投籃,出乎他們意料的,我輕松得分。這就是我,盡管瘦小,但卻不軟弱。作為班長(zhǎng)老師們總是會(huì)因?yàn)槲沂萑醯耐庑味鴮?duì)我投來同情的眼光。在高三年級(jí)開始的時(shí)候,大家都不愿意在這 個(gè)關(guān)鍵的時(shí)候擔(dān)任班長(zhǎng)的職務(wù),承擔(dān)繁重的班級(jí)工作。當(dāng)我們的新老師不知所措的時(shí)候,我舉起了手,對(duì)老師說:“我想要當(dāng)班長(zhǎng),我有信心能夠做好班級(jí)工作?!痹谖冶硎驹敢獬袚?dān)班長(zhǎng)的職責(zé)之后,全班陷入了一片 沉默。從老師的眼中我看到了對(duì)我能否做好這份工作的懷疑?!敖o我三個(gè)月的試用期吧。如果我沒能通過考 察,你可以再選擇別人?!蔽矣脠?jiān)定的口吻對(duì)老師說。事實(shí)證明所有人的疑慮都是多余的,因?yàn)槲易尠嗬锏?大小事務(wù)都條理分明,我們班也在年級(jí)的評(píng)比中位列前茅。這就是我,盡管瘦小,但卻不軟弱。作為爸爸媽媽的孩子不管你是否相信,我的爸爸媽媽經(jīng)常低估我的能力。9年級(jí)的時(shí)候,我被選中作為學(xué)生代表到新加坡 新民中學(xué)交換學(xué)習(xí)。得知這個(gè)消息我很興奮,馬上告訴了爸爸媽媽,然而他們卻一點(diǎn)也不高興。多少次他們?cè)噲D說服我放棄這次機(jī)會(huì),因?yàn)樗麄儾幌胍屛乙粋€(gè)人出國(guó)學(xué)習(xí)。“爸爸媽媽,你們不能總是保護(hù)我。 我可以自己照顧自己。我保證。”費(fèi)了好大力氣,我終于得到了他們的允許,在新加坡獨(dú)自生活了一周。我 和當(dāng)?shù)貙W(xué)生成為了很好的朋友,我真的非常享受那里的生活。這就是我,盡管瘦小,但卻不軟弱。面對(duì)未來當(dāng)我決定到美國(guó)深造的時(shí)候,我的爸爸媽媽出乎我意料的沒有拒絕我。相反,他們告訴我現(xiàn)在他們相信他們的女兒盡管瘦小,但卻不軟弱。我非常感激爸爸媽媽終于看到其實(shí)我的心很大。我不想要證明 什么,但是我也不想要被輕視。我想要被當(dāng)成普通人,像普通人一樣承擔(dān)責(zé)任,享受生活?!炯盐木u(píng)】每個(gè)人可能都有被別人忽略的一面,每個(gè)人也可能都有想要證明自己的時(shí)候,區(qū)別就在于有的 人只是停留在言語上,而有的人就如作者一樣一點(diǎn)一滴地用行動(dòng)為自己正名。文章巧妙地運(yùn)用了一組對(duì)比身體的瘦小和心靈的強(qiáng)大,并且通過三個(gè)事例來支撐這種對(duì)比。小標(biāo)題式的分段方法增 強(qiáng)了每個(gè)事例的故事性,也讓每一個(gè)事例作為論據(jù)的說服力顯著提升。結(jié)尾處通過爸爸媽媽對(duì)作者出國(guó)留學(xué)的態(tài)度肯定了作者為自己正名的成果,而作者也借機(jī)表露了自己的心聲盡管身體瘦 弱,但卻足夠強(qiáng)大去承擔(dān)責(zé)任,享受生活。Signs of weakness, proof of strengthDare and the world always yields. If it beats you sometimes, dare it again and again and it will succumb. W.M Thackeray“800m.“are you kidding me?” Seeing the notice of P.E. test for High School Entrance Examination, I felt nothing but frustrated. The eight-hundred meter run might be an easy thing for other students but to me, it was an impossible task.Because I suffered from myocarditis when I was a kid, I could not afford to perform sports of high intensity. I still remember the first time I tried finishing an 800m test in the first year of middle school. It took me more than 5 minutes to get to the finishing line and I could feel that my heart was about to jump out of my mouth. After that, I was excluded from almost any kind of sports. Of course I could give up this P.E. test as well, but it meant I would lose 12 points in my total score of the High School Entrance Examination. I did not want that to happen. “I still have ten months. Perhaps I can create a miracle. ” I decided to take the test though I was not sure whether it would be the correct choice.With a crazy training plan, I started pursuing a miracle the next day. However things did not go on as easily as I expected it to be. Only after 200m, my heart started sending the “give up” signal. I could not breathe and it was really a terrible thing to hear the clear yet chaotic heartbeat in my chest. The fear of losing my breath forever forced me to stop. At that time I really felt like a loser.The same story took place in the following several days. I started my daily training with determination yet ended with disappointment and frustration. One day when I was about to give up once again, I saw a boy at the same age with me practicing walking with his twisted legs. In less than one minute, he must fall over three times or more. In my eyes, he could barely stand on his feet yet he was trying to walk without any assistance. I was so shocked by this scene that I did not realize I had stared at him for quite a long time until he noticed me.“ Sorry, but no offense. I just. ” hurriedly I apologized for being rude.“It s fine. ” He smiled to me, “besides, I am happy that someone has witnessed my big progress today. ”“ Big progress? ” I felt confused.“I just walked 10 steps, didn t you see that? One step was difficult enough for me, but I made it 10!” his voice was filled with pride. Those falls I just saw, which I took as signs of weakness, could also be taken as signs of strength. We all might have obstacles in front of us which are not easily overcome;as long as we still have the faith and courage with us, even setbacks and failures make us stronger people.Watching the boy practicing for his next big progress, I returned to my own training. “It,s true that today I can only finish 200m but tomorrow it will be 300m, then 400mand one day it will be 800m.” I said to myself, more firmly than ever.Ten months later, I was standing behind the starting line of the P.E. test for the High School Entrance Examination. After the gun fired, I started making myself a miracle. I still clearly felt the chaotic heartbeats of my own but they were no longer signs of weakness; instead, they were the proof of my efforts to conquer the obstacles in my way.3 minutes 22 seconds, I made it. It was really a great thing to force the workl yield
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