不能對愛人說的話.doc

不能對愛人說的話 1.ItsyourfaultSometimes,afinancialdecisiongoesbad,oneofyourchildrengetsintroubleatschool,orsomehouseholdcalamityoccurs.Andknowthisthingsdogobadfromtimetotimeinanyrelationship.Decisionsturnoutwrong.StuffhappensButtheblamegameneverworksItalienates.Itdivides.Itmostcertainlyunderminestrustandopenneinyourrelationship. 1.那是你的錯有時會做出錯誤的經(jīng)濟開支決定你的個孩子在學校闖禍了或者出了一些家庭災難你需要知道這些事情在任何家庭中都屢次發(fā)生做出錯誤的決定自然就發(fā)生了這樣的事但是“責備”絲毫不會奏效它只會疏遠和離間你們而且毫無疑問地會傷害到你們之間的信任和坦誠 2.ItoldyousoTrustusonthisthesefourwordsarerarelyeverusedinsuccessfulmarriages.Thiskindofeuppancehasnoplaceinalovingrelationship.Thereisnoneedtoremindyourspousethatyouwererightaboutsomethingandtheywerewrong.Talkaboutwastedcriticism 2.我早告訴過你相信我在成功的婚姻里幾乎不會出現(xiàn)這幾個字在愛情中不應有這種類似于“幸災樂禍”的責難你完全沒有必要去提醒你的愛人關(guān)于一些事你是對的而TA是錯的那些批評沒有任何意義 3.SayingIamupsetwithyouaboutthisorthat.inapublicsetting.Tellingprivatesecretsorcriticizingyourspouseinpublicortosomeoneelsecandopermanentdamagetothetrustinyourrelationship.Trueornotitdoesntmatter.Keepprivatethingsprivate. 3.在公共場合就說：“我真受不你這樣或那樣”在別人面前揭你愛人的短或批評將會對你們感情中的信任造成永久性的傷害對錯并不重要家里的事家里解決 4.Whydoyoualways.Focusingonyourspousesweakneratherthanbuildingontheirstrengthswillonlyincreasetheirweakneanddiminishtheirstrength.Thishabitcansendarelationshipintoadownwardspiralifweaknessesarepointedoutandmentedupon.Succedoesbreedsuccess.Stickwiththestrengthsanddontfocusonweakness. 4.你老是?總盯著你愛人的缺點而不是放大TA的優(yōu)點只會讓TA的優(yōu)點更少缺點更多指出并批評愛人的缺點這一毛病會讓你們的感情每況愈下成功孕育成功多注意對方的優(yōu)點不要總盯著缺點 5.Askforyourspousesopinionandthendotheopposite.Wehaveheardfrommanyangrydivorcedoralmostdivorcedcouplesthatthisisthegreatestindicatorofdisrespect.Ifyouaskwhereyourspousewantstogotodinnerandhe/shesuggestsacoupleofplaces,thenyouselectadifferentone,byyouractionsyousaid,Idonotrespectyouropinionanddontcarewhatyouthink 5.問過你愛人的意見卻反其道而行從很多憤怒的離婚的或即要離婚的人們口中我們都有所耳聞這是最大的“不尊重”如果你問你的愛人想去兒吃晚飯她說了幾個地方而你卻挑了一個別的你是在用行動告訴好：“我不尊重你的意見也不在乎你想” Sincesayingnegativeorhurtfulthingscanbedamagingtoalovingrelationship,itiswisetotakeextracautionbeforeengagin