2025屆新高考英語沖刺復習讀后續(xù)寫：螢火蟲光芒下的父女親情讓我想到了朱自清的背影

2025屆新高考英語沖刺復習

讀后續(xù)寫

螢火蟲光芒下的父女親情，讓我想到了朱自清的背影

原文分析讀后續(xù)寫原文審讀多篇范文呈現(xiàn)解題思路分析讀后續(xù)寫可積累文本1.原文賞析Itwasthelate1980s.Iwas15.IthadbeennineyearssinceIlastsawmydad.Tomarkourreunioninthecountryofmybirth,mydad,whoadoredadventures,wantedmeto“visitallyourpeopleandseeeverycornerofyourbeautifulhome,”sohetookusonaroadtrip.However,admiringJamaica’slandscapewasthelastthingonmymindasIsatinthebackoftheBeetle,angryatmydadbecausehehaddroppedinandoutofourchildhood.Myaimwastogettoknowhimbetter.NotJamaica.Once,whenhewasunwell,IhadtotakethebusbacktoKingstonlaterthanusualinsteadofhimdrivingme.Thesunwassinking,andtheskywasdarkening.“Yousureyou’reOKtowalkuptheshortcuttothebusstop?”heasked,sensingmycity-girlnervesattheprospectofnavigatingalightlesscountrypath.“I’mfine,”Ilied.Herolledhiseyes,coughed,putonhisjacketandshoes,andledmeupthepath.Aswewalked,withleavesrustling(沙沙作響),hefoundtheenergytogivemeaminibiologylectureontheluminescent(發(fā)冷光的)powersofthefirefliesandinstructedmeto“spottheirguidinglights.”BeforeIknewit,weweresafeatourdestination.“Loveyou,besafe,”hewavedtome,beforeheadingbackdownthedarktrack,firefliesflashingaroundhim.“Bye,takecare.”Ireplied,lovinghimtoo,butnotalwaysabletosayit.注意：（1）續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應為150左右；（2）請按如下格式在答題卡的相應位置作答。Paragraph1:However,ashestartedtowalkbackdownthedarktrack,Ifeltasuddenurgetofollow.Paragraph2:Acoupleofdayslater,mydadtookadrivearoundJamaicawithme.2、

原文審讀

紅色定從/定語；藍色賓從；黃色狀從，從句斜體；下劃線+標黃單詞+斜體

為需掌握積累單詞、短語；黑體標黃，非謂語；可積累部分為

embody；

注釋(定語從句)

Itwasthelate1980s.Iwas15.IthadbeennineyearssinceIlastsawmydad(狀從).

Tomarkourreunioninthecountryofmybirth,mydad,whoadoredadventures(定從),wantedmeto“visitallyourpeopleand

seeeverycornerofyourbeautifulhome,”sohetookusonaroadtrip.(第一段往往交代背景信息，人物特點，事件起因等信息)However,admiring

Jamaica’slandscape(動名詞短語做主語)

wasthelastthingonmymind

asIsatinthebackoftheBeetle(原因狀從),angryatmydad(adj短語做補語)

becausehehaddroppedinandoutofourchildhood.(原因狀從)

Myaimwastogettoknowhimbetter.NotJamaica.Once,whenhewasunwell(狀從),IhadtotakethebusbacktoKingstonlaterthanusualinsteadofhimdrivingme.Thesunwassinking,andtheskywasdarkening(可積累環(huán)境描寫).“Yousureyou’reOKtowalkuptheshortcuttothebusstop(賓從)?”heasked,sensing(現(xiàn)在分詞短語做伴隨動作)

mycity-girlnervesattheprospectof

navigatingalightlesscountrypath.“I’mfine,”Ilied.Herolledhiseyes,coughed,putonhisjacketandshoes,

andledmeupthepath(動作串).Aswewalked,(狀從)

withleavesrustling(沙沙作響)(with復合短語),hefoundtheenergytogive

meaminibiologylectureontheluminescent(發(fā)冷光的)

powersofthefireflies

andinstructedmeto“spottheirguidinglights.”

BeforeIknewit(狀從),weweresafeatourdestination.“Loveyou,besafe,”hewavedtome,beforeheadingbackdownthedarktrack,firefliesflashingaroundhim(獨立主格).“Bye,takecare.”Ireplied,loving

himtoo(現(xiàn)在分詞短語做伴隨動作),butnotalwaysabletosayit.注意：（1）續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應為150左右；（2）請按如下格式在答題卡的相應位置作答。Paragraph1:However,ashestartedtowalkbackdownthedarktrack,Ifeltasuddenurgetofollow.Paragraph2:Acoupleofdayslater,mydadtookadrivearoundJamaicawithme.故事山模式：

銜接點1：位于續(xù)寫第一段段首，流暢銜接前面的記敘文和第一段段首語；銜接點2：位于續(xù)寫第一段段尾，流暢銜接第二段段首句；銜接點3：位于續(xù)寫第二段段首，續(xù)寫銜接第二段段首語；銜接點4：文章結尾升華，給予讀者正能量，揭示和強調主題。對提示句P1,P2做逐詞逐句的解讀，理解其背后深意；回溯原文，找到對應的文本，確定基本元素，時間，地點，人物，所涉及的物品，細節(jié)等信息；試圖對時間線，地點線結合P1,P2的提示句，看是否有所變化，以確定是否需要展開；構思情節(jié)讀懂最后2段尤其是最后1段的信息，合理結合生活實際，構思文章，并完成成長前的困擾情境描寫+消極情緒的累積→高潮

成長中的蛻變

成長的動機+過程中變化的心情成長后的升華

成長后的收獲+積極情緒(喜悅、滿足和驕傲等)動作描寫如何描述所見所聞、所說所思所做環(huán)境描寫人物描寫語言描寫心理活動描寫增加細節(jié)，展開續(xù)寫兩種構思方法“四到一行”“線索呼應”看聽想說做找出線索，前后呼應“兩法六句”1.讀后續(xù)寫分類與構思分析文章類型：本文屬于情感類讀后續(xù)寫，主要圍繞父女之間的情感變化展開，通過一次旅行和日常生活中的小插曲，逐步揭示父女之間的情感紐帶。續(xù)寫思路構思：布局：續(xù)寫應圍繞父女情感的進一步發(fā)展和主人公對父親的理解加深展開。第一段可以描寫主人公跟隨父親走回黑暗小路的心理變化，第二段則可以通過父親帶她游覽牙買加的場景，進一步展現(xiàn)父女之間的情感升華。提煉框架：情感變化（從疏離到理解）→關鍵情節(jié)（跟隨父親、游覽牙買加）→情感升華（父女關系的修復）。實施：通過細膩的心理描寫、動作描寫和環(huán)境描寫，展現(xiàn)主人公的情感變化和對父親的理解。承接原文事項：續(xù)寫需承接原文中主人公對父親的復雜情感，尤其是她對父親的愛與疏離感。同時，需延續(xù)原文中的自然描寫（如螢火蟲、黑暗的小路）和情感線索（如父親的關心、主人公的內心矛盾）。整體注意事項：續(xù)寫需保持情感的真實性和連貫性，避免突兀的情節(jié)轉折。語言風格應與原文一致，保持細膩的描寫和情感的漸進變化。巧妙設計續(xù)寫內容：可以通過自然環(huán)境的描寫（如螢火蟲、夜晚的寧靜）來烘托情感變化，同時通過對話和內心獨白展現(xiàn)主人公的心理活動。2.故事山模式與原文分析分析角度內容原文反應句人物刻畫父親：熱愛冒險、關心女兒；主人公：對父親有復雜情感，既愛又疏離?！癏erolledhiseyes,coughed,putonhisjacketandshoes,andledmeupthepath.”情感層次主人公從對父親的疏離感逐漸轉變?yōu)槔斫夂蛺邸！癓ovinghimtoo,butnotalwaysabletosayit.”關鍵情節(jié)點父親帶主人公走黑暗小路，展現(xiàn)關心；主人公跟隨父親走回小路，情感轉折?！癏owever,ashestartedtowalkbackdownthedarktrack,Ifeltasuddenurgetofollow.”語言特色語言細膩，注重心理描寫和環(huán)境描寫?！癟hesunwassinking,andtheskywasdarkening.”關鍵詞分析“fireflies”（螢火蟲）：象征希望與父愛；“darktrack”（黑暗小路）：象征情感困境?！皊pottheirguidinglights.”心理描寫主人公對父親的復雜情感，既有愛又有疏離感?！癕yaimwastogettoknowhimbetter.NotJamaica.”動作描寫父親的動作展現(xiàn)關心，主人公的動作展現(xiàn)內心變化?！癏erolledhiseyes,coughed,putonhisjacketandshoes,andledmeupthepath.”環(huán)境描寫夜晚的黑暗與螢火蟲的光形成對比，烘托情感變化?！癆swewalked,withleavesrustling,hefoundtheenergytogivemeaminibiologylecture…”隱含主題父女之間的情感修復與理解。“Loveyou,besafe,”hewavedtome…情感轉折主人公從疏離到理解的情感變化?！癏owever,ashestartedtowalkbackdownthedarktrack,Ifeltasuddenurgetofollow.”空間轉換從車內到黑暗小路，再到牙買加的游覽場景?！癆coupleofdayslater,mydadtookadrivearoundJamaicawithme.”時間過渡從夜晚到幾天后的白天，時間過渡自然?！癆coupleofdayslater…”伏筆處與沖突點：伏筆：螢火蟲的描寫暗示父愛的溫暖與希望；黑暗小路象征主人公的情感困境。沖突點：主人公對父親的疏離感與內心對父愛的渴望之間的沖突。隱含線索：螢火蟲的“guidinglights”象征父親對女兒的引導與關愛。

解決方案：通過跟隨父親走回小路和游覽牙買加，主人公逐漸理解并接受父親的愛。3.續(xù)寫語料推薦動作描寫例句：Hestumbledslightlybutquicklyregainedhisbalance,hishandreachingouttosteadyme.Shehesitatedforamomentbeforetakingastepforward,herheartpoundinginherchest.Thefirefliesflickeredaroundus,theirtinylightscreatingamagicalatmosphere.Heturnedtolookatme,hiseyesfilledwithamixtureofconcernandaffection.Shereachedouttotouchhisarm,feelingthewarmthofhispresence.Thewindrustledthroughthetrees,creatingasoothingsoundaswewalked.Hepausedforamoment,hisbreathvisibleinthecoolnightair.Shequickenedherpace,eagertocatchupwithhim.心理描寫例句：Awaveofguiltwashedoverherassherealizedhowmuchshehadmisunderstoodhim.Shefeltastrangesenseofpeaceasshewalkedbesidehim,herearlierangermeltingaway.Hiswordsechoedinhermind,stirringupemotionsshehadlongsuppressed.Shecouldn’thelpbutsmile,feelingadeepsenseofgratitudeforhispresence.Asenseoflongingfilledherheartasshewatchedhimwalkaway.Shefeltasuddenurgetotellhimhowmuchshelovedhim,butthewordsstuckinherthroat.Hermindracedwithconflictingemotions,unsureofhowtoexpresswhatshewasfeeling.Shefeltadeepsenseofreliefasshefinallyunderstoodhisintentions.環(huán)境描寫例句：Themooncastasoftglowoverthelandscape,illuminatingthepathahead.Theairwasfilledwiththescentofbloomingflowers,creatingasereneatmosphere.Thestarstwinkledabove,theirlightreflectingoffthecalmsurfaceofthelake.Thesoundofcricketsfilledthenight,addingtothesenseoftranquility.Thetreesswayedgentlyinthebreeze,theirleavesrustlingsoftly.Thesundippedbelowthehorizon,paintingtheskyinshadesoforangeandpink.Thefirefliesdancedaroundus,theirlightsflickeringliketinystars.Thecoolnightairbrushedagainstmyskin,sendingashiverdownmyspine.高級替換詞：Walk

→Stroll,Wander,Amble,Saunter,Trek場景：描述悠閑或緩慢的行走。Look

→Gaze,Glance,Peer,Stare,Glimpse場景：描述不同的看的方式。Say

→Whisper,Murmur,Utter,Mumble,Exclaim場景：描述不同的說話方式。Happy

→Elated,Jubilant,Content,Ecstatic,Thrilled場景：描述不同程度的快樂。Sad

→Melancholic,Sorrowful,Gloomy,Despondent,Mournful場景：描述不同程度的悲傷。4.高中語法現(xiàn)象與語料積累語法現(xiàn)象：過去完成時：例句：IthadbeennineyearssinceIlastsawmydad.分析：表示在過去某一時間之前已經完成的動作?，F(xiàn)在分詞作狀語：例句：Aswewalked,withleavesrustling,hefoundtheenergytogivemeaminibiologylecture.分析：表示伴隨動作。賓語從句：例句：HeaskedifIwassureIwasOKtowalkuptheshortcut.分析：從句作賓語，表示間接引語。地道搭配：Rollone’seyes：翻白眼（表示無奈或不耐煩）。例句：Herolledhiseyesatmysuggestion.Takecare：保重。例句：Shewavedgoodbyeandsaid,“Takecare.”Spotsomething：發(fā)現(xiàn)某物。例句：Heinstructedmetospottheguidinglightsofthefireflies.Headback：返回。例句：Afterthemeeting,heheadedbacktohisoffice.生詞短語：Luminescent

(adj.)：發(fā)冷光的。近義詞：Glowing,Radiant反義詞：Dark,Dull例句：Theluminescentfireflieslitupthenight./Thewatchhadaluminescentdial.Rustle

(v.)：沙沙作響。近義詞：Whisper,Murmur反義詞：Silence,Stillness例句：Theleavesrustledinthewind./Sherustledthepapersonherdesk.Navigate

(v.)：導航，找到方向。近義詞：Steer,Guide反義詞：Stray,Wander例句：Henavigatedtheshipthroughthestorm./Shenavigatedthebusystreetswithease.Reunion

(n.)：重聚。近義詞：Gathering,Meeting反義詞：Separation,Departure例句：Thefamilyreunionwasfilledwithlaughter./Theyplannedareunionafteryearsapart.5.PossibleVersionsVersionSpecial仿寫版Paragraph1:

However,ashestartedtowalkbackdownthedarktrack,Ifeltasuddenurgetofollow.Icouldn’tlethimgoalone,notwhenhewasstillcoughing

andclearlyunwell.(狀從，對原文的銜接)

“Dad,wait!”Icalledout,myvoicetremblingwithamixofconcernanddetermination(獨立主格，情緒描寫).

Heturned,hisfaceablendofsurpriseandrelief(獨立主格).“Youokay,love?”heasked,

hisvoicesoftbutfilledwithworry(獨立主格).Inodded,thoughmyheartwasracing(狀從，心理描寫).“Ijust…Iwanttomakesureyou’reokay(賓從),”Istammered,trying

tomaskmyfear(現(xiàn)在分詞短語做伴隨動作，心理描寫).

Hesmiledgently,pattingmyshoulder(現(xiàn)在分詞短語做伴隨動作).“I’mgladyou’rehere,”hesaid,hisvoicewarm(獨立主格).

Aswewalkedtogether(狀從),thefireflies’tinylightsflickeredaroundus(環(huán)境描寫，與原文的銜接),casting

agentleglowonthepath(現(xiàn)在分詞短語做伴隨動作).Inthatmoment,Ibegantosee

himnotjustas

thefatherwhohadbeenabsent(定從，與原文的銜接),butas

amanwhocarriedhisownburdensandregrets(定從).Thedistance

betweenus,oncesovast(插入語，對比描寫),

seemedtoshrinkwitheverystep

wetooksidebyside(定從).Paragraph2:Acoupledayslater,mydadtookadrivearoundJamaicawithme.Sitting

besidehiminthecar(現(xiàn)在分詞短語做伴隨動作),Ilistenedashespoke(狀從)---notjust

about

thelandscapes,butabout

hislife.(遞進句式，并列)

Hepointedouttheplaces

hehadexploredasayoungman(定從),therivers

heusedtoswimin(定從),andthesmallvillages

wherehehadmadefriends(定從)(并列結構).Everywaveheexchangedwithpassersby(定從),showedmeasideofhimIhadneverseenbefore(定從).Slowly,myfrustrationbegantofade(心理描寫),replacedbycuriosity,andthenadmiration(過去分詞短語做伴隨動作).Forthefirsttime,Isaw

Jamaicanotjust

aplacebutas

apartofhim(并列遞進)---hispast,hishome,hisidentity(并列，解釋).Andinembracinghisworld(介詞短語做方式狀語),IfoundmyselfunderstandinghiminawayIneverhadbefore(定從).Maybelovedidn’talways

havetobespoken;sometimes,itwassimplyabout

beingpresent,aboutchoosingtoseesomeoneforwhotheytrulywere(遞進句式).仿寫版Version2Paragraph1:However,ashestartedtowalkbackdownthedarktrack,Ifeltasuddenurgetofollow.Icouldn’tlethimgoalone,notwhenhewasstillunwell

andthepathwassodark(狀從，對原文的銜接).

“Dad,wait!”Icalledout,myvoicebreakingslightly(獨立主格).Heturned,hisfacelitbythefaintglowofthefireflies(獨立主格，人物描寫),andIsawaflickerofreliefinhiseyes(人物描寫).“Youokay,love?”heasked,hisvoicegentlebuttingedwithconcern(獨立主格，心理描寫).

Inodded,thoughmyheartwaspounding(狀從).“Ijust…Iwanttomakesureyou’reokay(賓從),”Isaid,myvoicebarelyaboveawhisper(聲音描寫，刻畫人物).Hesmiled,asoft,understandingsmile,(同位語)

andpattedmyhand.“I’mgladyou’rehere,”hesaid,

hisvoicewarm(獨立主格).Aswewalkedtogether(狀從),

thefireflies’lightdancedaroundus(環(huán)境描寫，與原文的銜接),andIfeltastrangesenseofpeace(心理描寫).Forthefirsttime,Isaw

himnotjustas

thefather

whohadleft(定從，對原文的銜接),butas

amanwhohadhisownstrugglesandregrets(定從)(遞進句式).

Thedistancebetweenus,oncesovast(同位語解釋說明),

begantofeelsmallerwitheverystepwetooktogether(升華主旨).Paragraph2:Acoupledayslater,mydadtookadrivearoundJamaicawithme.Sitting

besidehiminthecar(現(xiàn)在分詞短語做伴隨動作),Ilistenedashespoke(狀從)---notjust

about

thelandscapes,butabout

hislife.(遞進句式，并列)

Hepointedouttheplaces

hehadexploredasayoungman(定從),therivers

heusedtoswimin(定從),andthesmallvillages

wherehehadmadefriends(定從)(并列結構).Everywaveheexchangedwithpassersby(定從),showedmeasideofhimIhadneverseenbefore(定從).Slowly,myfrustrationbegantofade(心理描寫),replacedbycuriosity,andthenadmiration(過去分詞短語做伴隨動作).Forthefirsttime,Isaw

Jamaicanotjust

aplacebutas

apartofhim(并列遞進)---hispast,hishome,hisidentity(并列，解釋).Andinembracinghisworld(介詞短語做方式狀語),IfoundmyselfunderstandinghiminawayIneverhadbefore(定從).Maybelovedidn’talways

havetobespoken;sometimes,itwassimplyabout

beingpresent,aboutchoosingtoseesomeoneforwhotheytrulywere(遞進句式).情緒描寫Heartpounding（心跳加速）替換詞：Heartracing,pulsequickening例句：Herheartracedassheapproachedthestage.Hispulsequickenedatthesoundofhervoice.Frustrationbegantofade（憤怒逐漸消退）替換詞：Angerdissipated,resentmentmeltedaway例句：Herangerdissipatedasshelistenedtohisexplanation.Hisresentmentmeltedawaywhenhesawhersmile.Aflickerofrelief（一絲寬慰）替換詞：Aglimmerofhope,asparkofcomfort例句：Aglimmerofhopeappearedinhereyes.Asparkofcomfortwarmedhisheart.動作描寫Calledout（呼喊）替換詞：Shouted,exclaimed,criedout例句：Sheshoutedhisnameacrossthefield.Hecriedoutinsurprisewhenhesawtheresult.Pattingmyshoulder（輕拍我的肩膀）替換詞：Tapping,gentlytouching例句：Hetappedhershouldertogetherattention.Shegentlytouchedhisarmtoreassurehim.Exchangedwaves（揮手致意）替換詞：Greeted,acknowledged例句：Theygreetedeachotherwithafriendlywave.Heacknowledgedherpresencewithanod.語料升級替換Follow

→Accompany,trail,shadow例句：Shedecidedtoaccompanyhimonthejourney.Hetrailedbehindher,unsureofwhattosay.Understand

→Comprehend,grasp,perceive例句：Shefinallycomprehendedthecomplexityofthesituation.Hegraspedthemeaningbehindherwords.Share

→Recount,narrate,relate例句：Herecountedtheeventsofthedayindetail.Shenarratedthestorywithgreatemotion.Version1Paragraph1:

However,ashestartedtowalkbackdownthedarktrack,Ifeltasuddenurgetofollow.

Myheartraced(心理描寫)asItookafewhesitantsteps(狀從動作描寫),therustlingleavesundermyfeetechoinginthequietnight(獨立主格).Thefireflies’softglowseemedtoguideme(環(huán)境描寫),theirlightsflickeringliketinystars(獨立主格，環(huán)境刻畫).Icalledoutsoftly,“Dad,wait!”Heturned,hisfaceilluminatedbythefaintlight(獨立主格),

amixtureofsurpriseandwarmthinhiseyes(同位語解釋說明).Forthefirsttime,Inoticedhowtiredhelooked(賓從),yethestillmanagedasmile(動作描寫反應心理).“Ijust…Idon’twantyoutowalkalone,”Istammered,myvoicetrembling(獨立主格).Henodded,andtogetherwewalkedback,thesilencebetweenusfilledwithunspokenunderstanding(獨立主格).Paragraph2:

Acoupleofdayslater,mydadtookadrivearoundJamaicawithme.

Thesunwasshiningbrightly,casting

goldenhues

overthelushgreenhills(現(xiàn)在分詞短語做伴隨動作).Aswedrove(狀語),hepointedoutlandmarks,hisvoicefilledwithprideandnostalgia(獨立主格，補充信息).Ifoundmyselflaughingathisstories,

thetensionfromourearlierencountersmeltingaway(獨立主格).Atonepoint,hestoppedthecarandgesturedtowardabreathtakingviewoftheocean.“Thisisyourhome,”hesaidsoftly.

Ifeltalumpinmythroat

asIrealized(狀從)

howmuchhewantedmetoconnectwithmyroots(賓從).Forthefirsttime,IsawJamaicanotjustas

aplace,butas

apartofwhoIwas(賓從).加分點分析：獨立主格：例句：Thefireflies’softglowseemedtoguideme,theirlightsflickeringliketinystars.替換詞：Shimmering,Glimmering賓語從句：例句：Hesaidsoftly,“Thisisyourhome.”替換詞：Murmured,Whispered亮點詞匯短語：情緒描寫：Heartraced,Tremblingvoice,Unspokenunderstanding,Lumpinmythroat動作描寫：Hesitantsteps,Rustlingleaves,Turned,Gestured升級替換：Rustling

→Whispering,MurmuringTrembling

→Shaking,QuiveringGestured

→Pointed,SignaledVersion

2Paragraph1:

However,ashestartedtowalkbackdownthedarktrack,Ifeltasuddenurgetofollow.

Myfeetmovedalmostontheirown(動作描寫比喻),drawn

byaninvisibleforce(過去分詞短語做原因狀語).Thedarknessseemedlessintimidatingnow,thefireflies’gentleglowcastingamagicalauraaroundus(獨立主格).“Dad,”Icalledout,myvoicebarelyaboveawhisper(獨立主格).

Hestoppedandturned,hissilhouetteframedbytheflickeringlights(獨立主格).“I…Ijustwantedtosaythankyou,”Imumbled,mycheeksburningwithembarrassment(獨立主格).Hechuckled

softly,thesoundwarmandreassuring(獨立主格).“You’rewelcome,kiddo,”hereplied,histonefilledwithaffection(獨立主格).Aswewalkedbacktogether(狀從),Ifeltasenseofpeace

Ihadn’tknowninyears(定從).Paragraph2:

Acoupleofdayslater,mydadtookadrivearoundJamaicawithme.

Thevibrantcolorsofthelandscapeseemedtomirror

thenewfoundjoyinmyheart(環(huán)境描寫).Hesharedstoriesofhischildhood,hisvoicetingedwithnostalgiaandpride(獨立主格).Atonepoint,hepulledover

nearasmallvillageandintroducedmetoanelderlywomanwhohadbeenaclosefriendofhis(定從).

“Thisismydaughter,”hesaid,hisvoicebrimmingwithpride.Thewomansmiledwarmly,hereyestwinklingwithkindness(獨立主格，情緒描寫).Aswedroveaway(狀從),Irealized

thatthistripwasn’tjustabout

seeingJamaica—itwasabout

reconnectingwithmyfatherandunderstandingwhereIcamefrom(賓從).加分點分析：過去完成時：例句：IfeltasenseofpeaceIhadn’tknowninyears.替換詞：Experienced,Felt現(xiàn)在分詞作狀語：例句：Thevibrantcolorsofthelandscapeseemedtomirrorthenewfoundjoyinmyheart.替換詞：Reflecting,Echoing賓語從句：例句：Hesaid,“Thisismydaughter.”替換詞：Declared,Announced亮點詞匯短語：情緒描寫：Burningcheeks,Senseofpeace,Newfoundjoy,Twinklingeyes動作描寫：Movedontheirown,Pulledover,Introduced,Smiledwarmly升級替換：Chuckled

→Laughed,GiggledBrimming

→Overflowing,FilledTwinkling

→Sparkling,ShiningVersion

3Paragraph1:

However,ashestartedtowalkbackdownthedarktrack,Ifeltasuddenurgetofollow.Myheartpounded(心理描寫)

asIsteppedintotheshadows(狀從),thefireflies’glowlightingmyway(獨立主格).“Dad,wait!”Icalled,myvoicebreakingthesilence(獨立主格).Heturned,hisfaceamixofsurpriseandconcern(獨立主格).“I…Ijustwantedtowalkwithyou,”Iadmitted,myvoicetrembling(獨立主格).Hesmiled,asoft,understandingsmilethatmademychesttighten(定從).“Alright,”hesaidsimply,andwewalkedsidebyside,therustlingleavesandflickeringlightscreatingaserenebackdrop(獨立主格).Forthefirsttime,Ifeltaconnectionthatwordscouldn’tfullycapture(定從).Paragraph2:

Acoupleofdayslater,mydadtookadrivearoundJamaicawithme.

Thesunbathedthelandscapeingoldenlight,andtheairwasfilledwith

thescentofbloomingflowers.

Hepointedoutplacesthatheldspecialmemories

forhim(定從),hisvoicefilledwithwarmthandnostalgia(獨立主格).Atonepoint,hestoppedthecarandhandedmeasmall,wornphotograph.“Thisisyourgrandmother,”hesaid,

hiseyesglisteningwithemotion(獨立這股).Istaredat

thephoto,feeling

adeepsenseofbelonging(現(xiàn)在分詞短語做伴隨動作心理描寫).Aswecontinuedourjourney(狀從),Irealized

thatthistripwasnotjustabout

seeingJamaica—itwasaboutdiscoveringapartofmyself

Ihadneverknown(定從)(遞進句式).加分點分析：現(xiàn)在分詞作形容詞：例句：Therustlingleavesandflickeringlightscreatingaserenebackdrop.替換詞：Forming,Shaping賓語從句：例句：Hesaid,“Thisisyourgrandmother.”替換詞：Explained,Revealed亮點詞匯短語：情緒描寫：Heartpounded,Tremblingvoice,Senseofbelonging,Glisteningeyes動作描寫：Steppedintotheshadows,Handed,Pointedout,Stared升級替換：Serene

→Peaceful,CalmGlistening

→Shimmering,Spark