高中英語雙語閱讀Unit1Friendship為什么你的好朋友那么少素材新人教版必修1

為什么你的好摯友那么少？Makingfriendscanbehardbecauseofone'slackofsocialskills,becauseoursocietyisgenerallymakingusmoreisolated,becauseofourmodernbusylifestyles,orbecausewenolongerhaveacontextformeetingpeoplelikewedidincollegeorhighschool.交友瓶頸產(chǎn)生的緣由可以是我們?nèi)狈ι缃婚啔v，可以是我們被社會(huì)侵染得與世隔絕，可以是現(xiàn)代生活變得繁忙，也可以是我們不再有高?；蛑袑W(xué)那樣的環(huán)境。Thereisnosinglecausethatmakesthiscrucialskillhardforus—it’sactuallyagroupofcauses.Inthisarticle,we’regoingtotacklethemainreasonsyoumayfindithardtomakefriends,andhowtoovercomethemsoyoucangetthehappysociallifeyouwant.缺乏社交技能不是個(gè)別因素造成的----事實(shí)上有大大小小的緣由。編者將在這篇文章中與大家一起解決所謂的“交友難”問題，并且?guī)椭蠹以谏鐣?huì)生活里混得如魚得水。YouThinkthatEveryoneElseisAlreadyinaClosedGroupofFriends問題一：覺得別人的摯友圈早已“閑人勿進(jìn)”了Didyouknowthatthelonelierthepersonis,themoretheytendtoonlynoticeextrovertedpeoplewhohaveagreattimewithfriends?Somehowthemindgetsblindtoallotherswhoaremaybeevenmorelonely;it’sjustamentalillusion.Atthesametime,mostfriendshipsaresuperficial.Peoplecanhangoutwithothersjusttoavoidbeingalone.Everyoneiscravingformorecloseandloyalfriends,sodon’tbefooledbyappearances.你知道性格越孤僻的人就越憧憬陽光平和的人嗎？漸漸地，他們就會(huì)看不見那些比他們還要孤僻的人；這僅是精神錯(cuò)覺罷了。與此同時(shí)，多數(shù)人的友情都薄如蟬翼。摯友們相約出來可能僅僅是為了驅(qū)逐孤獨(dú)。因此，不要傻傻地光看表象。不僅是你，其他人都在渴望更密切忠厚的摯友呢！YouLearnedThatFriendsCanbeDisappointing問題二：一朝被蛇咬，十年怕草繩Ifyougothurtbyfriendsinthepast,youmightthinkthatfriendshipisrisky.Whatyoumayhavemissedisthatthesescarsarelessons.Theyarenewtricksunderyourbelt.Badfriendshipexperiencesaresignalsandnewskillsthatallowyoutofilterpeoplebetter.Yougettobecomemoresafeasyougatherfriendshipexperience,andyou’lltoseethewarningsignsbeforeyougetdisappointed.It’sawealthofknowledgethatyoushouldn'tthrowaway—youcanlearnfromthem.假如你過去被摯友損害過，可能就會(huì)覺得友情很危急。那些你揮之不去的傷痕也會(huì)隨時(shí)提示你。你認(rèn)為新?lián)从褧?huì)損害你，再加上過去糟糕的友情體驗(yàn)所發(fā)出的信號(hào)，你就會(huì)任憑受傷的信去篩選好人作摯友。一旦交友閱歷日益豐富，你會(huì)越來越有平安感。并且在摯友讓你悲觀前就嗅出危急的信號(hào)。這可是一筆珍貴的閱歷---能夠讓你獲益良多的閱歷。GreatResultsDon’tSeemtoAppearatFirstAttempt問題三：多重緣由導(dǎo)致被動(dòng)交友Ifit'sbeenalongtimesinceyoumadeanewfriend,thenknowingwheretostartcanbedifficult.Abigcommonmistakeisforsomeonetopsychthemselvesintogoingouttosocialize,thenquicklygetdiscouragedwhentheyseethatotherpeoplearen'tveryresponsivetothem.Yoursocialskillsmaybedormantoryoumayneverdevelopedthemasyoucouldhave.Ifyouwantagreatsociallife,youcan’tcountononesingleactionstep.Youneednewhabitsthatareeasytoimplementgradually,andasetofgreatsocialskillsandtechniquestouse.長(zhǎng)時(shí)間沒有結(jié)交新?lián)从褧?huì)讓你難以邁出第一步。一些人有個(gè)共同的缺點(diǎn)：一起先他們會(huì)憋足勁去搞人際關(guān)系，一旦別人沒有做出相應(yīng)的回應(yīng)，他們就泄氣了。如此一來，本應(yīng)得到發(fā)展的社交技巧也會(huì)停滯不前。若你希望有一個(gè)很棒的社交生活，就別希望一步到位了。得按部就班養(yǎng)成新的習(xí)慣，再協(xié)作著一系列的社交技巧來運(yùn)用。The“WhatIfTheyDon’tLikeMe?”Factor問題四：畏首畏尾Fearofrejectionisalsoabigblock.Ifyoutrytomakefriendswithsomeoneanditdoesn'tworkout,youcanrarelyknowwhy.It'susuallyalotofspeculation.Whetheryoubelievethatthinkyou'renotgoodenough,ortheythinkthatyou'retoogoodforthem,it'susuallyjustguesswork.Youcanneverknowwhat'sgoingonwithsomeoneyoudon'tknowverywell.Youdon'thavetochooseathinkingprocessthatdiscouragesyou.Ifsomeoneisn'treadytomeetorhangoutwithyou,letitgo.Itcanbeanything:theymustbebusy,theymaynotbereadyfornewfriends,theymayhavebeenhurtlately,etc.Itcanbeanything,sonevertakeaguessthatmayonlydiscourageyou.怕被拒絕同樣是一大障礙。假如你努力結(jié)交摯友，結(jié)果卻碰了一鼻子灰。天知道這是怎么一回事。你可能認(rèn)為自己不夠好，他們卻可能認(rèn)為你好的過余。緣由太難猜了。終歸對(duì)于那些你不了解的人你恒久也不會(huì)知道他們?cè)谙胧裁?。你大可不必讓志氣在猜疑中退卻。You’reAfraidtoRevealWhoYouAre問題五：膽怯 展露真實(shí)的自己Revealingwhoyouare(andyoursecrets)isakeypartofmakingfriends.Ifyou’renotreadytoopenup,thathesitancecanblockyoufrommakingnewconnections.Pleasenotethatyoudon’tneedtoopenupcompletelyatonce,andcandosoinstages.Peopleareusedtohavingotherstalkingaboutgeneralitiesatfirst.Ifyougetgoodatthat,youcanwaitandgettoknowpeoplebeforerevealingyourselfgradually.Atthesametime,neverthinkthatpeoplearethatwell-adjustedandperfect.Everyonehastheirownquirks;everyonehasasideofthemselvesthey'renottooproudof,ordon'thavethecouragetoreveal.You'renotalone.交友的關(guān)鍵部分就是展露真我（和隱私）。假如你尚未打算好敞快樂扉，這份遲疑就會(huì)成為阻礙。要知道你并不須要一次性就徹底曝光出來，得按部就班漸漸來。要是你在行人們習(xí)慣談?wù)摰娜粘，嵤拢憧梢韵日勚?，再伺機(jī)吐露心聲。同時(shí)要留意人們沒有你想象中那么有適應(yīng)性，也并非那么完備。每個(gè)人都有怪癖，每個(gè)人都缺乏志氣揭露自卑的一面。而你，只是眾多人之一。YouCan'tAcknowledgeThatYouActuallyNeedPeople問題六：不承認(rèn)自己須要摯友Thisisanothercommonreasonwhypeoplestayisolated.It'sokaytothinkofyourselfasanindependentpersonbut,whosaidthatindependentpeoplehavetobelonely?Ifyoufeelthatpowermeansthatyoudon’tneedotherpeople,it’smaybetimetorethinkthat.Theabilitytobringotherpeopleinyourlifeandhavethemonyoursideismorepowerful.Ifyoulearnhowtomakefriends,thenyou'llneverbeobligatedtobewithanybodythatdoesn'tdeserveyou.That’samoreevolvedwaytoseepower.Powermeansthatyouchoosewhoyouhangoutwith.這也是人們孤立的共同緣由。認(rèn)為自己獨(dú)立這點(diǎn)無可厚非，但是認(rèn)為獨(dú)立等同于孤獨(dú)就過猶不及了。假如你認(rèn)為有本領(lǐng)獨(dú)立的人就會(huì)有本領(lǐng)孤獨(dú)生活，那得好好反思一下。將別人引入你的生活，并讓他們擁護(hù)你，這才是更大的本領(lǐng)。一旦駕馭了交友技巧，你就再也沒必要跟不值得的人糾纏了，這是進(jìn)一步見證本領(lǐng)的方式。這里所謂的本領(lǐng)即選擇跟誰出去的權(quán)利在你。YourLonerHabitsAreTooStrongtoBreak?問題七：心墻太厚，難以攻破Habitsarelikerivers:youcan'tturnifyoudon'thaveenoughwillpower.Atthesametime,youdon’tneedtobesupermantogetasociallife.Allyouneedisasetofstrategictechniquesthatwillallowyoutonewhabitsthatautomatically