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Commentsoncontinuationwriting
agoodContinuationwritingStorytheme(主題)plot(情節(jié))feelingpositiveendingvividdescriptionlinkwords對第五檔(21-25)作文的描述:與所給短文融洽度高,與所提供各段落、開頭語銜接合理。所使用語法結(jié)構(gòu)和詞匯豐富、準(zhǔn)確,可能有些許錯(cuò)誤,但完全不影響意義表達(dá);有效地使用了語句間的連接成分,使所續(xù)寫短文結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊;評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)scoringcriterion讀后續(xù)寫考查什么??把握關(guān)鍵信息和語言特點(diǎn)的能力?語言運(yùn)用的準(zhǔn)確性和豐富性?對語篇結(jié)構(gòu)連貫的把控能力?創(chuàng)造新思維能力correctrichlogicalLearningaims:
Bytheendoftheclass,wewillbeableto1.Learnhowtocreatealogical(邏輯的)endingbasedonthetheme.2.Learntopolish(潤色)yourwritingbyusingvivid(生動(dòng)的)description
andproperlinkwords.Process:
MrsMeredith,offeredhelptothepoorfamilies,aboycaughthereye.Beginning:economicdepression(蕭條),struggletomakeendsmeet(收支相抵.Clamax:SheaskedherchildrentoassisttheboyEnding:
How?AgoodideahitJohnWhat'sthestoryabout?Self-evaluation:Para.1:WhenMrs.MeredithheardofJohn'sidea,shethoughtitwasagoodone,too.
□1.Whatdidshesaythen?□
2.Whatdidthechildrendo?(prepare/buy/make)□
3.Shouldwemention(提及)Bernardinpara1?Para.2:Witheverythingready.Bernardstartedoutonhisnewbusiness.
□4.HowdidBernardgotosellthepopcorn?□5.Didtheymeetsomedifficulties?□6.Whathappenednext?□7.Howdidtheyfeel?□8.Didyoushowyourthemeintheend?
邏輯混亂,前后不連貫沒有人物情感變化體現(xiàn)與所提供開頭語銜接不夠用詞不準(zhǔn)確,不豐富沒體現(xiàn)主題Keytopolishingyourcontinuationwriting
1.Usespecific(具體的)actionverbs
2.Usevivid(生動(dòng)的)
description
3.Useadvancedsentencepatterns
Usespecificactionverbsyell(吼叫),shout,chat,talk,scream(尖叫),cry,state,announce(布),advise,mention(提及),add,agree,whisper(低聲說),sigh(嘆氣),reply,respond
Face:
burstintotears/laughter,wearasmile,laughheartilyBody:tremble,,shake,jump,frown(皺眉)
sprangtoone’sfeet.,beexcitedlyheadingintoFeeling:傷心失望:hopeless,disappointed,embarrassed(尷尬的),beclosetotearsHelowered/benthisheadinshame,beingeagertofindaholetohidehimself.高興心情:bemovedtotearsNeverinherlifehadshetastedanythingbetter(delicious)Abrightsmilespreadacrosshisface.Hiseyestwinkled(閃耀)withexcitement.Tearsofjoyfloodedhiseyes.
UsevividdescriptionUsevividdescriptionExample:1).Firsttheybegantomakepopcorn.Secondtheyputthepopcornintopaperbags.→
2)Meredithwenttosupermarketandboughtalotofpaperbags→ →3).Thepopcornlookedbeautiful,smelledsweetandtasteddelicious.→
4).Hewassosadandsatonthechairinthestreet.5)“Yes,I’dliketo.”saidaperson.Bernardfelthappy.
→Meredithwasexcitedlyheadinginto…
Neverinherlifehadshetastedanythingbetter.Hewassosadandstoodtheresilently,tearsrollingdownhischecks.Thekidswerebusymakingpopcornwhiletheirmotherwentouttobuythepaperbags,andthentheyputthepopcornintothem.Bernardsprangtohisfeetandsmiledhappily.Bernard'seyestwinkledwithexcitement.
Linkwords:從句引導(dǎo)詞:thatwhowhichwhatwhy
連接詞:first,second,next,firstofall,tobeginwith,atlast/intheend,justatthattime,asaresult,inaddition/besides,what'smore,however,therefore
關(guān)聯(lián)詞:too…to…,so…that…,eigher…or…neither…nor…notonly…butalso…ontheonehand,ontheotherhandUselinkwordsUselinkwordproperlyYourpopcornissotastythatI’manxioustobuymore
Theyonlysold3bags,sodidtheseconddayandthethirdday....,whichenabledBernardtoearnmoremoneytohelphisfamily.1.習(xí)作:Thankstotheirhardwork,theyfinallymadethesweetpopcorn.polish:2.習(xí)作:Bernardwastoomovedtosayaword.polish:
3.習(xí)作:Bernardtooksomebagsofpopcornaroundthehouses
polish:
4.習(xí)作:Butnooneansweredhim,hefeltdown.Hisparentsfacesflashedintohishead.
polish:AppreciationButnooneansweredhim,hefeltdownand
wasclosetotears,justatthistimehisparentsfaces
flashedintohismind.Hewassodelightedthathecouldhardlyspeak,buthissmilingfacespokeforhim.Theirhardworkfinnaly
paidoff.Bernardtooksomebagsofpopcornaroundthehouses,cryinghisgoodsfromdoortodoor.Findyourbestwritinginyourgroupandthendiscussingroupsoffourtopolishittogeth
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