2023屆新教材高考英語一輪復(fù)習讀后續(xù)寫-應(yīng)試流程-經(jīng)典剖析

第二講抽絲剝繭攻克讀后續(xù)寫第一節(jié)應(yīng)試流程經(jīng)典剖析典例展示閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。(2021·新高考全國卷Ⅰ)三線·文本剖析時間線：ThetwinshadaplanforMother'sDay.→Thebigdaycameatlast.→Thepairbegantocarryouttheplanat6a．m.→EverythingwasgoingsmoothlyuntilJeffstartedfryingthebread.情節(jié)線：本文以母親節(jié)為線索展開，講述了雙胞胎Jenna和Jeff為了獻給母親一份美味的早餐，自己動手做早餐。但不幸的是，他們連連失敗。情感線：首段交代背景時的興奮之情(Thetwinswerefilledwithexcitement...)→第二段開頭時的迫不及待(Thebigdaycameatlast.Thealarmrangat6a．m.Thepairwentdown...)→初遇狀況時的信心滿滿(Jennathrewtheburntpiece...andputintheothersliceofbread.Sheturneddownthefire...Jeffstayedcalmandturnedoffthegas.)→再遇狀況時的驚慌失措(Jennapanicked.Jeff'shandtouchedthehotburnerandhegaveacryofpain.)兩段·續(xù)寫提示第一段提示句表明在兩個孩子失望透頂、無所適從時，人生導(dǎo)師爸爸出現(xiàn)了。再根據(jù)第二段提示可知，第一段應(yīng)該以描寫孩子們是如何在父親的指導(dǎo)下成功地為媽媽準備了愛心早餐。本段第二句最好的描寫方向是爸爸出現(xiàn)后，兩個孩子的反應(yīng)(全文是立足于他們進行推進的)以及在父親的指導(dǎo)下，如何做的。第二段提示句表明接下來要寫媽媽與兩個孩子間的互動。為回應(yīng)文章開頭(HowpleasedandproudMotherwouldbewhentheybroughtherbreakfastinbed.)，要側(cè)重描寫媽媽的感受——高興、驕傲及感動。本段第二句最好的描寫方向是媽媽的驚訝(映照文章標題AMOTHER'SDAYSURPRISE)。一核·價值取向該材料的價值取向是關(guān)注“母親節(jié)”這個特別的節(jié)日所傳達的情懷——感恩母親的付出以及親密家庭關(guān)系的建立。家庭紐帶(familybond)的培養(yǎng)與發(fā)展靠的是父母對孩子的付出與指導(dǎo)，孩子對父母對家庭的責任與擔當。AMOTHER'SDAYSURPRISEThetwinswerefilledwithexcitementastheythoughtofthesurprisetheywereplanningforMother'sDay.HowpleasedandproudMotherwouldbewhentheybroughtherbreakfastinbed.TheyplannedtomakeFrenchtoastandchickenporridge.Theyhadwatchedtheirmotherinthekitchen.Therewasnothingtoit.JennaandJeffknewexactlywhattodo.Thebigdaycameatlast.Thealarmrangat6a．m.Thepairwentdownthestairsquietlytothekitchen.Theydecidedtoboiltheporridgefirst.TheyputsomericeintoapotofwaterandleftittoboilwhiletheymadetheFrenchtoast.Jeffbroketwoeggsintoaplateandaddedinsomemilk.Jennafoundthebreadandputtwoslicesintotheeggmixture.Next,Jeffturnedonthesecondstoveburnertoheatupthefryingpan.EverythingwasgoingsmoothlyuntilJeffstartedfryingthebread.Thepanwastoohotandthebreadturnedblackwithinseconds.Jennathrewtheburntpieceintothesinkandputintheothersliceofbread.Thistime,sheturneddownthefiresoitcookednicely.ThenJeffnoticedsteamshootingoutofthepotandthelidstartingtoshake.Thenextminute,theporridgeboiledoverandputoutthefire.Jennapanicked.Thankfully,Jeffstayedcalmandturnedoffthegasquickly.Butthestovewasamessnow.JennatoldJefftocleanitupsotheycouldcontinuetocooktherestoftheporridge.ButJeff'shandtouchedthehotburnerandhegaveacryofpain.Jennamadehimputhishandincoldwater.Thenshecaughtthesmellofburning.Ohdear!Thepieceofbreadinthepanhadturnedblackaswell.注意：續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。Asthetwinslookedaroundthemindisappointment,theirfatherappeared.________________________________________________________________________________Thetwinscarriedthebreakfastupstairsandwoketheirmotherup.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________【參考范文】Asthetwinslookedaroundthemindisappointment,theirfatherappeared.Father'sappearingwaslikeasaviortothetwochildren.Undertheguidanceoftheirfather,theytookpositiveactionsandstartedalloveragain.Theymadethebreadandthenwentoncookingporridge.Fatherhelpedthemadjustthefire,whichwasthekeytosuccess.Itwasallrightthistime.Deliciousbreakfastwasready.Howhappytheywere!Thetwinscarriedthebreakfastupstairsandwoketheirmotherup.Whentheirmothersawthedeliciousandperfectbreakfastinfrontofher,shewasverysurprised.Itwasnotonlythegift,buttheloveofthechildrenforherthatmovedherverymuch.Thetwochildrencouldfinishcookingabreakfast,whichshedidn'texpect.Thechildrensaidloudly,“HappyMother'sDay！”

Motherhuggedthemtightlyandkissedthemagainandagain.名師點評：續(xù)寫內(nèi)容抓住了文章的主要情節(jié)，圍繞著主要人物(twins及mother)展開，結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊、語言豐富。續(xù)寫內(nèi)容與兩個提示句銜接自然，邏輯合理，且文風一致，思路積極向上。符合高分范文的標準與要求。另外，在對細節(jié)的處理上體現(xiàn)了較高的知識儲備，如Motherhuggedthemtightlyandkissedthemagainandagain就富有極強的畫面感。即時訓練閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。(2021·浙江卷1月改編)Pumpkin(南瓜)carvingatHalloweenisafamilytradition.WevisitalocalfarmeveryOctober.Inthepumpkinfield,Icompetewithmythreebrothersandsistertoseekoutthebiggestpumpkin.Mydadhasarulethatwehavetocarryourpumpkinsbackhome,andastheeldestchildIhaveanadvantage—Icarriedan85-pounderbacklastyear.

Thisyear,itwashardtotellwhethermyprizeortheonechosenbymy14-year-oldbrother,Jason,wasthewinner.Unfortunatelyweforgottoweighthembeforetakingouttheirinsides,butIwasdeterminedtoprovemypoint.Allofuswerehardatworkatthekitchentable,withmymomfilmingtheannualevent.I'munsurenowwhyIthoughtforcingmyheadinsidethepumpkinwouldsettlethematter,butitseemedtomakeperfectsenseatthetime.Withthepumpkinrestingonthetable,holeuppermost,Ibentoverandpressedmyheadagainsttheopening.AtfirstIgotjammedjustabovemyeyesandthen,asIwentonwithmytask,unwillingtoquit,mynosebrieflypreventedentry.FinallyImanagedtoputmywholeheadintoit,likeacork(軟木塞)forcedintoabottle.Iwasabletostraightenupwiththehugepumpkinrestingonmyshoulders.Myexcitementwasshort-lived.Thepumpkinwasheavy.“I'mgoingtosetitdown,now，”

Isaid,andwithJasonhelpingtosupportitsweight，Ibentbackoverthetabletogiveitsomewheretorest.ItwasonlywhenItriedtoremovemyheadthatIrealizedgettingoutwasgoingtobelessstraightforwardthangettingin.WhenIpulledhard,mynosegotintheway.IgotintoapanicasIpressedfirmlyagainstthetableandmovedmyheadaroundtryingtofindtherightangle,butitwasnouse.“Ican'tgetitout！”

Ishouted,myvoicesoundingunnaturallyloudintheenclosedspace.

注意：續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。Itwasfiveorsixminutesthoughitfeltmuchlonger.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ThevideowaspostedtheMondaybeforeHalloween.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________三線·文本剖析時間線：Wepickedpumpkinsinthefield→Weforgottoweigh→Ibentoverandpressedmyheadagainsttheopening.AtfirstIgotjammedjustabovemyeyesandthen...→FinallyImanagedtoputmywholeheadintoit→ItwasonlywhenItriedtoremovemyheadthatIrealized...→WhenIpulledhard...情節(jié)線：本文以人物為線索展開，講述了作者家有在萬圣節(jié)雕刻南瓜的傳統(tǒng)，今年也不例外，家里所有人都在廚房的餐桌上辛勤地工作著，而作者的媽媽則在拍攝一年一度的活動。結(jié)果作者將頭伸進了南瓜里，被卡住了，無論如何也無法掙脫出來。情感線：比賽一開始的興奮和信心滿滿(determinedtoprovemypoint...itseemedtomakeperfectsense)→過程中的自以為是(gotjammed...wentonwithmytask...Imanagedtoputmywholeheadinto)→自傲后的小失落(Myexcitementwasshort-lived)→意外出現(xiàn)后的緊張、擔心和害怕(Igotintoapanic...movedmyheadaroundtryingtofindtherightangle...Ishouted.)兩段·續(xù)寫提示第一段首句內(nèi)容“雖然時間只過去了五、六分鐘，但還是感覺要長得多。”可知，第一段可描寫作者是如何在爸爸的幫助下得救的。第二段首句內(nèi)容“這段視頻是在萬圣節(jié)前的周一發(fā)布的?！笨芍?，第二段可描寫作者頭被卡在南瓜里這段視頻在網(wǎng)上的走紅情況，以及視頻走紅對作者家和作者的影響。一核·價值取向該材料的價值取向是面對生活中的意外事件，要有積極的樂觀主義精神，要學會接受生活的賜予并積極面對。【參考范文】Itwasfiveorsixminutesthoughitfeltmuchlonger.Alleffortstopullmyheadoutofthepumpkinweretried,butinvain.“Dad!Emergency!Helpneeded！”

Jasonyelled,andcalleddadforhelp.Uponhearingit,Dadimmediatelyrushedoutandsnatched