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TheCount'sBeard伯爵的胡子
TheCount,sBeard
ThetownofPocapagliawasperchedonthepinnacleofahillsosteepthatits
inhabitantstiedlittlebagsonthetailfeathersoftheirhenstocatcheachfreshly
laideggthatotherwisewouldhavegonerollingdowntheslopesintothewoodsbelow
AllofwhichgoestoshowthatthepeopleofPocapagliawerenottheduncesthey
weresaidtobe,andthattheproverb,
InPocapagliawaysThedonkeywhistles,themasterbrays,
merelyreflectedthemaliciousgrudgetheneighboringtownspeopleborethe
Pocapagliansfortheirpeacefulwaysandtheirreluctancetoquarrelwithanyone
〃Yes,yes,〃wasallthePocapaglianswouldreply,“butjustwaituntilMasinoreturns,
andyouwillseewhobraysmore,weoryou”
EverybodyinPocapaglialovedMasino,thesmartestboyintownHewasnostronger
physicallythananybodyelse;infact,heevenlookedratherpunyButhehadalways
beenverycleverConcernedoverhow1ittlehewasatbirth,hismotherhadbathed
himinwarmwinetokeephimaliveandmakehimalittlestrongerHisfatherhad
heatedthewinewithared-hothorseshoeThatwayMasinoabsorbedthesubtletyof
wineandtheenduranceofironTocoolhimoffafterhisbath,hismothercradled
himintheshellofanunripenedchestnut;itwasbitterandgavehimunderstanding
AtthetimethePocapaglianswereawaitingthereturnofMasino,whomnoonehad
seensincethedayhewentofftobeasoldier(andwhowasnowmostlikelysomewhere
inAfrica),strangethingsstartedhappeninginPocapagliaEveryeveningasthe
cattlecamebackfrompastureintheplainbelow,ananimalwaswhiskedawayby
MicillinatheWitch
Thewitchwouldhideinthewoodsatthefootofthehill,andallsheneededto
dowasgiveoneheavypuff,andshehadherselfanoxWhenthefarmersheardher
stealthroughthethicketafterdark,theirteethwouldchatter,andeveryonewould
falldowninaswoonThatbecamesocommonthatpeopletooktosaying:
BewareofMicillina,thatoldwitch,Foral1youroxenshewi11filch,Thentrain
onyouhercrossed-eye,Andwaitforyoutofallanddie
AtnighttheybeganlightinghugebonfirestokeepMicillinatheWitchfromventuring
outofthewoodsButshewouldsneakuponthesolitaryfarmerwatchingovercattle
besidethebonfireandknockhimoutinonebreathInthemorninguponawaking,he'd
findcowsandoxengone,andhisfriendswouldhearhimweepingandmoaningand
hittinghimselfontheheadTheneverybodycombedthewoodsfortracesofthestolen
cattle,butfoundonlytuftsofhair,hairpins,andfootprintslefthereandthere
byMicillinatheWitch
ThingswentfrombadtoworseShutupallthetimeinthebarn,thecowsgrewas
thinasrailsArakeinsteadofabrushwasallthatwasneededtogroomthem,from
ribtoribNobodydaredleadthecattletopastureanymoreEveryonestayedclear
ofthewoodsnow,andthemushroomsthatgrewtherewentunpickedandgotasbig
asumbrellas
MicillinatheWitchwasnottemptedtoplunderothertowns,knowingfullwellthat
calmandpeace-lovingpeopleweretobefoundonlyinPocapagliaTherethepoor
farmerslitabigbonfireeverynightinthetownsquare,whilethewomenandchildren
lockedthemselvesindoorsThemensataroundthefirescratchingtheirheadsand
groaningDayafterdaytheyscratchedandgroaneduntiladecisionwasfinally
reachedtogotothecountforhelp
Thecountlivedhighabovethetownonalargecircularestatesurroundedbyamassive
wallThetopofthewallwasencrustedwithsharpbitsofglassOneSundaymorning
allthetownsmenarrived,withhatsinhandTheyknocked,thedoorswungopen,and
theyfiledintothecourtyardbeforethecourt,srounddwelling,whichhadbarsat
allthewindowsAroundthecourtyardsatthecourt'ssoldierssmoothingtheir
mustacheswithoiltomakethemshineandscowlingatthefarmersAttheendofthe
courtyard,inavelvetchair,satthecounthimselfwithhislongblackbeard,which
foursoldierswerecombingfromheadtofoot
Theoldestfarmertookheartandsaid,“YourHonor,wehavedaredcometoyouabout
ourmisfortuneAsourcattlegointothewoods,MicillinatheWitchappearsandmakes
offwiththem〃So,amidsighsandgroans,withtheotherfarmersnoddinginassent,
hetoldthecountallabouttheirnightmare
Thecountremainedsilent
〃Wehavecomehere,〃saidtheoldman,〃tobesoboldastoaskYourHonor,sadvice”
Thecountremainedsilent
〃卜Vehavecomehere,“headded,〃tobesoboldastoaskYourHonortohelpusIf
youassignedusanescortofsoldiers,wecouldagaintakeourcattledowntopasture”
Thecountshookhishead“IfIletyouhavethesoldiers,hesaid,〃Imustalso
letyouhavethecaptain”
Thefarmerslistened,hardlydaringtohope
〃Butifthecaptainisawayintheevening,saidthecount,“whocanIplaylotto
with?"
Thefarmersfelltotheirknees"Helpus,noblecount,forpity'ssake!”Thesoldiers
aroundthecourtyardyawnedandstrokedtheirmustaches
Againthecountshookhisheadandsaid:
IamthecountandIcountforthree;NowitchhaveIseen,So,nowitchhasthere
been
Atthosewordsandstillyawning,thesoldierspickeduptheirgunsand,withbayonets
extended,movedslowlytowardthefarmers,whoturnedandfiledsilentlyoutofthe
courtyard
Backinthetownsquareandcompletelydiscouraged,thefarmershadnoideawhat
todonextButtheseniorofthemall,theonewhohadspokentothecount,said,
“There'snothinglefttodobutsendforMasino!z,
SotheywroteMasinoaletterandsentittoAfricaThenoneevening,whilethey
wereallgatheredaroundthebonfireasusual,MasinoreturnedImaginethewelcome
theygavehim,theembraces,thepotsofhot,spicedwine!"'Whereonearthhaveyou
been?Whatdidyousee?Ifyouonlyknewwhatwehavebeengoingthrough!
Masinoletthemhavetheirsay,thenhehadhis〃InAfricaIsawcannibalswhoate
notmenbutlocusts;inthedesertIsawamadmanwhohadlethisfingernailsgrow
twelvemeterslongtodigforwater;intheseaIsawafishwithashoeandaslipper
whowantedtobekingoftheotherfish,sincenootherfishpossessedshoeorslipper;
inSicilyIsawawomanwithseventysonsandonlyonekettle;inNaplesIsawpeople
whowalkedwhilestandingstill,sincethechatterofotherpeoplekeptthemgoing;
IsawsinnersandIsawsaints;Isawfatpeopleandpeoplenobiggerthanmites;
many,manyfrightenedsoulsdidIsee,butneversomanyashereinPocapaglia^
Thefarmershungtheirheadsinshame,forMasinohadhitasensitivespotin
suggestingtheywerecowardsButMasinowasnotcrosswithhisfellowtownsmenHe
askedforadetailedaccountofthewitch,sdoings,thensaid,“Letmeaskyouthree
questions,andatthestrokeofmidnightI'11gooutandcatchthewitchandbring
herbacktoyou”
“Let'shearyourquestions!Outwiththem!”theyallsaid
“ThefirstquestionisforthebarberHowmanypeoplecametoyouthismonth?”
Thebarberreplied:
z,Longbeards,shortbeards,Finebeards,coarsebeards,Locksstraight,lockscurly,
AllItrimmed(sic)inahurry”
“Yourturnnow,cobblerHowmanypeoplebroughtyoutheiroldshoestomendthis
month?”
“Alas!”beganthecobbler:
“Shoesofwood,shoesofleather,Nai1bynailIhammeredbacktogether,Mendedshoes
ofsatinandshoesofserpentButthere,snothinglefttodo,Alltheirmoneyis
spent”
“Thethirdquestiongoestoyou,ropemakerHowmuchropedidyousellthismonth?”
Theropemakerreplied:
“RopegaloreofeverysortIsold:Hemprope,braided,wicker,cord,Needle-thin
toarm-thick,Lard-softtoiron-strongThismonthIcouldn,tgowrong”
“Verywell,“saidMasino,stretchingoutbythefire〃I'mnowgoingtosleepfor
afewhours,I'mverytiredWakemeupatmidnightandI'11goafterthewitch"He
puthishatoverhisfaceandfellasleep
Thefarmerskeptperfectlyquietuntilmidnight,notevendaringtobreathe,for
fearofawakinghimAtmidnightMasinoshookhimself,yawned,drankacupofmulled
wine,spatthreetimesintothefire,gotupwithoutlookingatasoul,andheaded
forthewoods
Thefarmersstayedbehindwatchingthefireburndownandthelastembersturnto
ashesThen,whomshouldMasinodraginbythebeardbutthecount!Acountthatwept,
kicked,andpleadedformercy
"Here'sthewitch!z,criedMasino,andasked,“Wheredidyouputthemulledwine?”
Beneaththefarmers'amazedstares,thecounttriedtomakehimselfassmallas
possible,sittingonthegroundandshrinkinguplikeacold-bittenfly
“Thethiefcouldhavebeennoneofyou,〃explainedMasino,“sinceyouhadal1gone
tothebarberandhadnohairtoloseinthebushesThentherewerethosetracks
madebybigheavyshoes,butallofyougobarefootNorcouldthethiefhavebeen
aghost,sincehewouldn'thaveneededtobuyallthatcordtotieuptheanimals
andcarrythemawayButwhereismymulledwine?〃
Shakingallover,thecounttriedtohideinthatbeardofhiswhichMasinohadtousled
andtorninpullinghimoutofthebushes
“Howdidheevermakeusfaintbyjustlookingatus?〃askedonefarmer
〃HewouldsmiteyouontheheadwithapaddedclubThatwayyouwouldhearonlya
whirHe'dleavenomarkonyou,you*dsimplywakeupwithaheadache”
“Andthosehairpinshelost?”askedanother
“Theywereusedtoholdhisbearduponhisheadandmakeitlooklikeawoman's
hair”
Untilthenthefarmershadlistenedinsilence,butwhenMasinosaid,“Andnow,what
shallwedowithhim?”astormofshoutsarose:"Burnhim!Skinhimalive!String
himupforascarecrow!Sealhiminacaskandrollhimdownthecliff!Sewhimup
inasackwithsixcatsandsixdogs!”
“Havemercy!”saidthecountinavoicejustaboveawhisper
“Sparehim,“saidMasino,“andhewillbringbackyourcattleandcleanyourbarns
Andsinceheenjoyedgoingintothewoodsatnight,makehimgothereeverynight
andgatherbundlesoffirewoodforeachofyouTellthechildrennevertopickup
thehairpinstheyfindontheground,fortheybelongtoMicillinatheWitch,whose
hairandbeardwillbedisheveledfromnowon〃
Thefarmersfollowedthesuggestion,andsoonMasinoleftPocapagliatotravelabout
theworldInthecourseofhistravels,hefoundhimselffightinginfirstonewar
andanother,andtheyalllastedsolongthathissayingsprangup:
Soldierfighter,whatahardlotIWretchedfood,thegroundforacotYoufeedthe
cannonpowder:Boom-BOOM!Boom-BOOM!Boomlouder!
(Bra)
NOTES:
“TheCount,sBeard”(LabarbadelConte)Publishedhereforthefirsttime,collected
byGiovanniArpinoinJuly1956,incertainvillagesofsouthernPiedmont:Bra(told
byCaterinaAsteggiano,inmateofahomeforoldpeople,andLuigiBerzia),inGuarene
(toldbyDoroPalladino,farmer),inNarzole(toldbyAnnettaTaricco,servantwoman),
andinPocapaglia
Thislongnarrative,whichwriterGiovanniArpinohastranscribedandunifiedfrom
differentversionswithvariantsandadditionsfromBraandsurroundings,cannot
inmyviewbeclassifiedasafolktaleItisalocallegendofrecentorigininpart
(Iamthinking,forinstance,ofthegeographicalparticularsgiven),thatis,not
priortothenineteenthcentury,andcontainingdisparateelements:explanationof
alocalsuperstition(thehairpinsofWitchMicillina),antifeudalcountrylegend
suchasonefindsinmanynortherncountries,curiousdetective-storystructurea
laSherlockHolmes,manydigressionsnonessentialtothestory(suchasthetrip
fromAfricabacktotown-whichArpinotellsmealsoexistsasaseparatestory
--andalltheallusionstoMasino'spastandfutureadventureswhichleadtothe
conclusionglobetrotterfromacountrywhoseinhabitantsarereputedtobe
contrastinglyslowandbackward),verse(ofwhichArpinoandIhavepresentedonly
asmuchaswecouldeffectivetranslate),andgrotesqueimageswhichseemrooted
intradition,suchasthesacksunderthehens'tails,theoxensothinthatthey
werecurriedwiththerake,thecountwhosebeardwascombedbyfoursoldiers,etc
Copyright:ItaiianFolktalesSelectedandRetoldbyItaloCalvino,
translatedbyGeorgeMartin,
PantheonBooks,NewYork1980
伯爵的胡子
博卡帕利亞是建在陡峭山坡上的一個(gè)小鎮(zhèn),鎮(zhèn)上人家的雞只要一下蛋就會(huì)滾落到山下的樹(shù)林
里。為了防止雞蛋滾落丟失,居民們?cè)诿恐荒鸽u的尾巴上掛了一個(gè)小袋子。
這說(shuō)明博卡帕利亞人并非像別人挖苦的那樣軟弱無(wú)能,附近曾經(jīng)流傳著這樣一句話:
誰(shuí)都知道在博卡帕利亞,
驢子吹口哨,主人嚎叫。
這純粹是附近村鎮(zhèn)的人對(duì)他們的污蔑,這些人這樣對(duì)待博卡帕利亞人就是因?yàn)樗麄兩云?/p>
靜,不愿意和任何人爭(zhēng)吵。
“讓你們誣蔑吧,挖苦吧,”博卡帕利亞人都這樣說(shuō),“等馬西諾回來(lái),看我們當(dāng)中誰(shuí)還會(huì)
嚎叫?!?/p>
馬西諾是博卡帕利亞人中最聰明的人,深受全鎮(zhèn)的人愛(ài)戴。他并不比別人粗壯,甚至比一般
人還瘦弱很多,但他天生聰明。他剛出世時(shí),看上去瘦弱嬌小,媽媽為了讓他能活下來(lái),而
且還能長(zhǎng)得強(qiáng)壯一點(diǎn),就用熱葡萄酒給他洗澡。爸爸還把燒紅的鐵放到酒里給酒加熱。這樣
馬西諾既通過(guò)浸泡皮膚而獲得了酒的柔力,又吸收了鐵的剛強(qiáng)。洗完澡后,媽媽又把她放在
鋪滿生栗子殼的搖籃里,讓他的身體變涼爽,使他在刺痛中變得更加睿智。
長(zhǎng)大后,馬西諾出發(fā)去服兵役,以后再也沒(méi)有回到自己的村鎮(zhèn)?,F(xiàn)在好像到了非洲的某個(gè)地
方。這期間博卡帕利亞開(kāi)始出了一系列的怪事。每天晚上人們都會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn),他們的牛從平原上
的草地放牧回來(lái)時(shí),總要被女巫米奇利娜搶走好幾頭。
女巫米奇利娜總是藏在村子下方的樹(shù)林中,伺機(jī)而出,她只須吹一口氣就可以把一頭牛劫走。
天黑后,每當(dāng)村民們聽(tīng)到林中灌木叢的沙沙響動(dòng),就會(huì)嚇的牙齒打架,甚至昏倒在地,所以
大家都說(shuō):
女巫米奇利娜,
從牛欄把牛偷走,
只要用眼斜一下,
你就嚇得倒下。
村民們只好在夜里點(diǎn)起一堆堆大篝火,使女巫米奇利娜不敢從樹(shù)叢中現(xiàn)身。但當(dāng)只有一個(gè)人
在篝火邊上看守牲畜時(shí),女巫就會(huì)悄悄地靠上去,用氣把這個(gè)人吹昏,等到早上他醒過(guò)來(lái)的
時(shí)候,奶牛、耕牛早已不見(jiàn)了,于是大家便聽(tīng)到他痛哭、絕望,擊自己的頭。然后,所有的
人都會(huì)一齊到樹(shù)林中尋找牲畜,結(jié)果,除了一結(jié)頭發(fā)、女人的的發(fā)釵和女巫米奇利娜四處留
下的足印,什么也找不到。
就這樣過(guò)去了好幾個(gè)月,奶牛被一直關(guān)在牛圈里變得越來(lái)越瘦。刷毛的時(shí)候已經(jīng)不需要刷子
了,用耙子在牛肋骨上耙?guī)紫戮托辛恕](méi)有人再敢將牲畜帶到草地上去了,也沒(méi)有人敢再進(jìn)
樹(shù)林里,林子里邊的蘑菇因?yàn)殚L(zhǎng)久無(wú)人采摘,長(zhǎng)得像雨傘一般大。
女巫米奇利娜從不去別的村鎮(zhèn)搶牛,因?yàn)樗涝贈(zèng)]有哪個(gè)村的村民像博卡帕利亞人這樣與
世無(wú)爭(zhēng)、平靜忍耐了。每天晚上,這些貧苦的村民就在場(chǎng)院中間點(diǎn)上一堆篝火,女人和孩子
留在家中,男人則圍著篝火撓頭抱怨著。怨了今天,怨明天,最后,他們決定得去找這里的
伯爵幫忙。
伯爵住在村鎮(zhèn)山頂上的一座圓形莊園里,四周?chē)鴩鷫?,墻上還插滿了玻璃片。一個(gè)星期天
的早上,村民們聚在一塊,帽子拿在手上,前來(lái)敲響了伯爵家的門(mén)。門(mén)打開(kāi)后,村民們來(lái)到
伯爵圓形房屋前的庭院,只見(jiàn)屋子的窗戶都用鐵柵欄封著,庭院四周坐著伯爵的衛(wèi)兵,他們
的胡子上都涂著油,好讓胡子看上去光彩油亮。這些人一個(gè)個(gè)對(duì)村民們怒目而視。庭院的最
里端,伯爵坐在絲絨面的椅子上,黑胡子很長(zhǎng)很長(zhǎng),四個(gè)衛(wèi)兵正用四把梳子在給他從上往下
地梳理它。
年紀(jì)最長(zhǎng)的村民定了定神,說(shuō):“伯爵老爺,我們斗膽來(lái)您這里,是為了向您稟告我們的不
幸遭遇,森林中有一個(gè)女巫米奇利娜,把我們的牲畜都搶了去?!彪S后,老人嘆著氣,訴著
苦,在別的村民的點(diǎn)頭證實(shí)下,向伯爵講述了他們這段時(shí)間的可怕經(jīng)歷0
伯爵一聲不吭。
老人又說(shuō):“我們來(lái)這里想冒昧向老爺您求討一個(gè)解決辦法。”
伯爵還是一聲不吭。
老人又補(bǔ)充說(shuō):“我們來(lái)這里想斗膽請(qǐng)老爺您行行好幫我們一把,要是您肯派出一隊(duì)衛(wèi)士,
我們就可以回到草場(chǎng)上放牲畜了?!?/p>
伯爵把腦袋在脖子上轉(zhuǎn)了一圈,說(shuō):“要是派衛(wèi)兵,我就還得派一個(gè)隊(duì)長(zhǎng)……”
村民們都豎著耳朵聽(tīng)著,似乎感受到一線希望。
“但要是我派隊(duì)長(zhǎng)去,”伯爵說(shuō),“那么,晚上,我還跟誰(shuí)玩擲彩游戲呢?”
村民們跪在地上說(shuō):“幫幫我們吧,伯爵老爺,可憐可憐我們吧!”周?chē)男l(wèi)士們開(kāi)始厭煩
地打著哈欠,給胡子涂著黑油。
伯爵又轉(zhuǎn)了一下頭,說(shuō):
“我是伯爵,我說(shuō)話能頂三個(gè)人說(shuō)話,
既然我沒(méi)見(jiàn)過(guò)女巫,
說(shuō)明根本就沒(méi)有女巫?!?/p>
聽(tīng)到伯爵的話,那些正打著哈欠的衛(wèi)士立即端起步槍?zhuān)么痰堵乇浦迕駛兺顺隽送ピ骸?/p>
村民們垂頭喪氣地回到場(chǎng)院,不知下一步該怎么辦,那個(gè)跟伯爵說(shuō)過(guò)話的年紀(jì)最長(zhǎng)的老人說(shuō):
“現(xiàn)在我們得派人去把馬西諾請(qǐng)回來(lái)!”
說(shuō)完,他們便立即給馬西諾寫(xiě)了封信,然后將信寄到非洲。一天晚上,當(dāng)村民們像往常一樣
聚集在場(chǎng)院的篝火旁邊時(shí),馬西諾回來(lái)了。人們激動(dòng)的情景就別提了,大家沖上去擁抱他,
煮上加香料的熱葡萄酒。有人問(wèn):“你去了什么地方?”有人說(shuō):“你見(jiàn)到了些什么東西?”
還有人說(shuō):“你知道我們有多慘嗎?”
馬西諾先讓大家說(shuō)了個(gè)夠,然后他開(kāi)始敘述起來(lái):“在非洲我遇到過(guò)不吃人只吃蟬的野蠻人;
在沙漠我碰到過(guò)一個(gè)為了挖地下水而留了十二米長(zhǎng)的指甲的瘋子;在海上我見(jiàn)過(guò)一條魚(yú)穿著
一只皮鞋和一只拖鞋,它想成為眾魚(yú)之王,因?yàn)閯e的魚(yú)既沒(méi)有穿皮鞋的,也沒(méi)有穿拖鞋的;
在西西里,我認(rèn)識(shí)一位婦女生了七十個(gè)兒子,但全家只有一口鍋;在那不勒斯,我看見(jiàn)人們
停住腳也能往前走,因?yàn)閯e人的閑言碎語(yǔ)太厲害了,變成了一股很大的推力;我還看見(jiàn)過(guò)圣
人
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