考場(chǎng)續(xù)寫提分指導(dǎo) 【基礎(chǔ)夯實(shí)與拓展提升】 首考真題剖析課件 高考英語一輪復(fù)習(xí)

考場(chǎng)續(xù)寫提分指導(dǎo)（2024.1）

+首考真題剖析

近期一模+三年全國(guó)一卷擬讀后續(xù)寫題目來源前文故事梗概主題，主題意義創(chuàng)作難點(diǎn)，易錯(cuò)點(diǎn)杭州一模講述一對(duì)父子倆準(zhǔn)備了三年的越野跑比賽，當(dāng)比賽當(dāng)天，兒子信心滿滿，以為能進(jìn)入前十五時(shí)，卻最終不能如愿，讓父親的夢(mèng)想破裂。人與社會(huì)如何面對(duì)失敗1首段不能生動(dòng)描寫“我”體力怎樣耗盡，描寫蒼白2不能有效反應(yīng)人物成長(zhǎng)雅禮中學(xué)月考小女孩打開了知識(shí)的書，帶領(lǐng)村子里的人面探索書里的故事…人與社會(huì)知識(shí)的力量1情節(jié)不能展開2語言蒼白杭二中首考熱身考湯姆和簡(jiǎn)帶孩子去湖邊度假，但孩子們不滿自然環(huán)境的簡(jiǎn)陋，簡(jiǎn)決定糾正他們的態(tài)度。人與自然1故事無從下手，2情節(jié)蒼白，過于簡(jiǎn)單，不能打動(dòng)讀者鎮(zhèn)海中學(xué)考前最后一卷哈啦的劍橋考試成績(jī)出來了，她獲得了多門科目A+，但她不想像父母和姐姐那樣成為醫(yī)生，而是想當(dāng)飛行員，去看看世界。姐姐對(duì)此感到疲憊和無奈。人與自我1不能發(fā)現(xiàn)前文中的伏筆，2場(chǎng)景描寫不生動(dòng)學(xué)軍中學(xué)考前最后一卷作者生來就患有波蘭綜合征，右臂和胸肌缺失。父母在他五歲時(shí)送給他第一套樂高玩具，他從此對(duì)樂高癡迷，并用樂高制作了自己的第一個(gè)假肢。多年后，作者制作了更先進(jìn)的假肢，他的故事也鼓舞了一位雙臂殘疾的小男孩。人與社會(huì)1動(dòng)作和情緒等細(xì)節(jié)描寫不生動(dòng)2文章協(xié)同性不好共性問題：語言慘白，無表現(xiàn)力，無細(xì)節(jié)近期一模+三年全國(guó)一卷擬讀后續(xù)寫題目來源前文故事梗概主題，主題意義創(chuàng)作難點(diǎn)，易錯(cuò)點(diǎn)新陣地聯(lián)盟作者在暑假期間參與了許多活動(dòng)，包括擔(dān)任小龍空手道夏令營(yíng)的助教、參加游泳隊(duì)以及和朋友一起開展的遛狗生意。然而，隨著活動(dòng)的增多，作者開始感到崩潰，因?yàn)樗荒苡行У亟M織活動(dòng)和安排時(shí)間，導(dǎo)致經(jīng)常忘記物品或錯(cuò)過重要活動(dòng)。人與社會(huì)個(gè)人成長(zhǎng)改變1.缺少人物的情緒變化描寫2.情節(jié)構(gòu)思單一，語言缺少準(zhǔn)確性和豐富性3.主題沒有升華溫州中學(xué)考前最后一卷彼得和伊莎貝爾路過公園，發(fā)現(xiàn)環(huán)境臟亂，去市政府反映無果后決定向非營(yíng)利組織GoGreen求助，并開始研究清理公園的方法和準(zhǔn)備演講。人與社會(huì)1人物刻畫不細(xì)致2語言蒼白，沒有表現(xiàn)力2023年1月全國(guó)一卷我被朋友邀請(qǐng)到一個(gè)農(nóng)場(chǎng)聚餐，在農(nóng)場(chǎng)時(shí)我路過一個(gè)廢棄擠奶房，發(fā)現(xiàn)有只蜂鳥被蜘蛛網(wǎng)纏住了。我救下了蜂鳥。我把蜂鳥帶出去打算放生，但它遲遲不肯走，多次和我眼神相對(duì)。我告知農(nóng)場(chǎng)主人這件事，他們答應(yīng)把窗戶補(bǔ)上。接著我要離開了，快上車的時(shí)候蜂鳥出現(xiàn)開始找我，最后停在我面前又和我對(duì)視，朋友說這是蜂鳥在告別人與動(dòng)物和諧自然界1故事主線不明朗、2情節(jié)斷鏈、語言平淡、3主題不明、沒有新意2023年6月全國(guó)一卷患有腦疾的大衛(wèi)參加越野跑比賽，在學(xué)校里沒有同學(xué)認(rèn)為這有什么不妥，他只是比其他人慢一點(diǎn)完成訓(xùn)練的內(nèi)容而已。但是在比賽當(dāng)天，大衛(wèi)擔(dān)心其他學(xué)校的學(xué)生會(huì)取笑他，他不敢去跑。人與社會(huì)克服恐懼1表述平白如流水賬，2可讀性不強(qiáng)共性問題：語言慘白，無表現(xiàn)力，無細(xì)節(jié)話題分析以及備考方向：前文故事特點(diǎn)應(yīng)對(duì)策略勵(lì)志類故事，走向比較清晰，立意清晰加強(qiáng)細(xì)節(jié)刻畫，設(shè)計(jì)小情節(jié)為突出人物成長(zhǎng)或個(gè)性親情類，伏筆較多（按情節(jié)給分的可能較大），仔細(xì)閱讀原文，按十大主題方向提煉主旨，根據(jù)主旨設(shè)計(jì)細(xì)節(jié)救援，遇險(xiǎn)類文章動(dòng)作類詞匯復(fù)習(xí)，動(dòng)作鏈設(shè)計(jì)和運(yùn)用環(huán)境描寫襯托人物形象人與動(dòng)物類文章動(dòng)物類詞匯描寫復(fù)習(xí)，人與動(dòng)物，自然主題的歸納復(fù)習(xí)，擬人修辭的運(yùn)用如何避免：語言慘白，無表現(xiàn)力，無細(xì)節(jié)以雅禮為例TheForgottenPages

Onceuponatime.inalandfaraway.therewasasmallvillage.Surroundedbythemajesticmountains,thevillagershappilylivedalifeofbliss.Allofthemwereusedtotheirroboticdailytasksandnoneofthemhadtheimaginationorthewilltotrysomethingnew,exceptforonegirlnamedHannah.Veryfewpeopleinthevillagecouldreadletalonewrite,andHannahwasoneofthem.Herparentshadmadesurethattheironlychildgoteverythingpossible.Hannahwasanadventurousspiritwithanimaginationfarbeyondhertime.Oneafternoon,whenHannahwasononeofheradventurousquests,shecameuponanabandonedcottage.Thecot-tagelookedveryoldinitscondition.EventhoughHannah'smotherhadstrictlywarnedhernottogowanderinginabandonedplaces,hercuriositygotthebestofher.Shetip-toedslowlytothedoorandslowlyopeneditandshewasleftstunned.InfrontofHan-nahwasaroomfullofbooks!Booksglisteringinthedust,baskinginthewarmsunlightjustwait-ingtobeexplored.Hannahgasped（倒吸氣）assherealizedthatshehadfoundahiddentreasure.Hannahbroomedanddustedalldaylonguntilsherealizeditwasdarkandshehadtogoback.SoHannahpickedtwobooksanddecidedtoreadthematherhome.Shewenthomeandallnightlong,shereadtheadventuroustaleshiddeninthebookcover.Thenextday,shequicklygulpedherbreakfastandmadeherwaytothecottageagain.Hannahdevouredthebooks.Theyweretoointerestingfilledwithstoriesaboutdifferentcreatures.Eachpagewasjustanadventurewaitingtobeembarkedon.Hannah'simaginationtookhertoaworldoftalkinganimals,mysticalcreatures,anddaringnights.Thelittlegirlwassoinspiredbythebooksandshelearnedthepowerofloveandfriendship!Withthegoodinheart,shedecidedtosharethetaleswiththepeopleofhervillage.:P1：Sheknewitwouldbeadifficultjourney,butshewantedtosharethegoldwitheveryone.P2：Soon,thewordsofHannah'sstorytellingspreadtofar-offtowns.讀后續(xù)寫—

快讀與細(xì)讀TheForgottenPages

Onceuponatime.inalandfaraway.therewasasmallvillage.Surroundedbythemajesticmountains,thevillagershappilylivedalifeofbliss.Allofthemwereusedtotheirroboticdailytasksandnoneofthemhadtheimaginationorthewilltotrysomethingnew,exceptforonegirlnamedHannah.Veryfewpeopleinthevillagecouldreadletalonewrite,andHannahwasoneofthem.Herparentshadmadesurethattheironlychildgoteverythingpossible.Hannahwasanadventurousspiritwithanimaginationfarbeyondhertime.Oneafternoon,whenHannahwasononeofheradventurousquests,shecameuponanabandonedcottage.Thecot-tagelookedveryoldinitscondition.EventhoughHannah'smotherhadstrictlywarnedhernottogowanderinginabandonedplaces,hercuriositygotthebestofher.Shetip-toedslowlytothedoorandslowlyopeneditandshewasleftstunned.InfrontofHan-nahwasaroomfullofbooks!Booksglisteringinthedust,baskinginthewarmsunlightjustwait-ingtobeexplored.Hannahgasped（倒吸氣）assherealizedthatshehadfoundahiddentreasure.Hannahbroomedanddustedalldaylonguntilsherealizeditwasdarkandshehadtogoback.SoHannahpickedtwobooksanddecidedtoreadthematherhome.Shewenthomeandallnightlong,shereadtheadventuroustaleshiddeninthebookcover.Thenextday,shequicklygulpedherbreakfastandmadeherwaytothecottageagain.Hannahdevouredthebooks.Theyweretoointerestingfilledwithstoriesaboutdifferentcreatures.Eachpagewasjustanadventurewaitingtobeembarkedon.Hannah'simaginationtookhertoaworldoftalkinganimals,mysticalcreatures,anddaringnights.Thelittlegirlwassoinspiredbythebooksandshelearnedthepowerofloveandfriendship!Withthegoodinheart,shedecidedtosharethetaleswiththepeopleofhervillage.:P1：Sheknewitwouldbeadifficultjourney,butshewantedtosharethegoldwitheveryone.P2：Soon,thewordsofHannah'sstorytellingspreadtofar-offtowns.Fast-reading：找要素前文續(xù)寫提示部分whoHannah，herparents,peopleinthevillageHannahWhereasmallvillage，surroundedbythemajesticmountains,Village,far-offtownswhenOnceuponatime？What1Veryfewpeopleinthevillagecouldreadletalonewrite,andHannahwasoneofthem.2shecameuponanabandonedcottage.adifficultjourneynegativeenergy（Conflictofdramaturgy）Veryfewpeopleinthevillagecouldreadletalonewrite,andHannahwasoneofthem.?careful-reading：找線索，找變化，找伏筆前文續(xù)寫部分伏筆1Thelittlegirlwassoinspiredbythebooksandshelearnedthepowerofloveandfriendship!Veryfewpeopleinthevillagecouldreadletalonewrite,andHannahwasoneofthem.Hannahgasped（倒吸氣）assherealizedthatshehadfoundahiddentreasure.Eachpagewasjustanadventurewaitingtobeembarkedon.P1:Sheknewitwouldbeadifficultjourney,butshewantedtosharethegoldwitheveryone.P2:Soon,thewordsofHannah'sstorytellingspreadtofar-offtowns.讀后續(xù)寫—寫1.情節(jié)搭建和銜接P1：Sheknewitwouldbeadifficultjourney,butshewantedtosharethegoldwitheveryone.P2：Soon,thewordsofHannah'sstorytellingspreadtofar-offtowns.銜接句11Whythejourneywasdifficult?2Whatwasthegold?故事拓展+過渡?銜接句23Hannah‘sstorytellingspreadhertown銜接句3?故事拓展+過渡?結(jié)尾+立意標(biāo)題“TheForgottenPages”如何回應(yīng)如何避免：語言慘白，無表現(xiàn)力，無細(xì)節(jié)過渡句搭建，提示立意

問題版本：語言慘白，無表現(xiàn)力，無細(xì)節(jié)流水賬Peoplecamefromnearandfartohearhertales,andHannahbecamealocalcelebrity.Butdespitehernewfoundfame,Hannahremainedhumbleandtruetohermission.Shecontinuedtosharethebookswithanyonewhowouldlisten,knowingthatthepowerofstorytellingcouldchangelives.請(qǐng)輸入文本P1：Sheknewitwouldbeadifficultjourney,butshewantedtosharethegoldwitheveryone.P2：Soon,thewordsofHannah'sstorytellingspreadtofar-offtowns.Hannahstartedbysharingthebookswithherfamily.

Encouragedbytheirresponse,Hannahmovedontoherneighbors,friends,andanyonewhowouldlisten.Wordofthebooksspreadquickly,andsoonHannahfoundherselfsurroundedbyagroupofeagerlisteners,allhungryformorestories.講個(gè)好故事延長(zhǎng)時(shí)間線，空間線12細(xì)節(jié)刻畫（突出人物精神的細(xì)節(jié)）3利用對(duì)比（時(shí)間前后對(duì)比，主角和配角，突出人物成長(zhǎng)）4利用前文伏筆（加強(qiáng)文章的協(xié)同性）5場(chǎng)景特寫（環(huán)境襯托人物精神）2.細(xì)節(jié)拓展5妙招利用妙招拓展首段1

延長(zhǎng)時(shí)間線，空間線時(shí)間進(jìn)展空間拓展

P1：Sheknewitwouldbeadifficultjourney,butshewantedtosharethegoldwitheveryone.

Onesunnymorning,Hannahgatheredhercourageandapproachedherfamilywiththebooksshehaddiscovered.Skepticalatfirst,theyeyedthewornpagesskeptically.ButasHannahbegantoreadaloud,amagicaltransformationoccurred.Theireyeslitupwithwonder,andtheyweretransportedtoaworldofimaginationandenchantment.Encouragedbytheresponseofherfamily,Hannah'sconfidencegrew.Sheembarkedonamissiontosharethebookswithherneighbors.Knockingondoors,sheinvitedthemtoembarkonajourneythroughthepagesoftheforgottentales.Initiallyhesitant,theysoonfoundthemselvesdrawnintothestories,eagerlyawaitingeachnewinstallment.一個(gè)陽光明媚的早晨，漢娜鼓起勇氣，帶著她發(fā)現(xiàn)的書走向家人。起初，他們持懷疑態(tài)度，懷疑地看著那些破舊的書頁。但當(dāng)漢娜開始大聲朗讀時(shí)，一個(gè)神奇的轉(zhuǎn)變發(fā)生了。他們的眼睛充滿了驚奇，他們被帶到一個(gè)充滿想象力和魅力的世界。在家人的鼓勵(lì)下，漢娜的信心大增。她開始了與鄰居分享這些書的使命。她挨家挨戶地敲門，邀請(qǐng)他們?cè)诒贿z忘的故事中開始一段旅程。起初，他們猶豫不決，但很快就發(fā)現(xiàn)自己被故事吸引住了，急切地等待著每一部新作。在第一段和第二段首句限定的時(shí)間內(nèi)拓展時(shí)間，空間線2

場(chǎng)景特寫（環(huán)境襯托人物情感）托物言志Asthesunbegantoset,castingawarmglowthroughthewindow,HannahgatheredTheroomwasfilledwiththesoftflickeringlightofcandles,creatingacozyandintimateatmosphere.Withasenseofexcitement,Hannahopenedthebooks,andasshestartedtoread,theworldoutsideseemedtofadeaway.herfamilyaroundthecracklingfireplace.請(qǐng)輸入文本P1：Sheknewitwouldbeadifficultjourney,butshewantedtosharethegoldwitheveryone.太陽開始落山，暖暖的陽光透過窗戶照進(jìn)來，漢娜聚在一起。房間里充滿了柔和搖曳的蠟燭，營(yíng)造出一種舒適而親密的氣氛。漢娜帶著一種興奮的心情打開了書，當(dāng)她開始讀的時(shí)候，外面的世界似乎漸漸消失了。她的家人圍坐在噼啪作響的壁爐旁.3細(xì)節(jié)刻畫--神態(tài)，動(dòng)作，情緒細(xì)節(jié)：人物神態(tài)，動(dòng)作，情緒AsHannahreadaloud,thevillagerswouldgatheraround,theireyesfixedonher,completelyabsorbedinthetalessheweaved.

Somewouldleanincloser,hangingoneveryword,whileotherssatback,lostinthought,theirmindstransportedtofarawaylands.Theirimaginationssparkedbythemagicofthestories.當(dāng)漢娜大聲朗讀時(shí)，村民們會(huì)圍過來，眼睛盯著她，完全沉浸在她編織的故事中。有些人會(huì)靠得更近一些，仔細(xì)聽每一個(gè)字，而另一些人則坐在那里，陷入沉思，他們的思緒被傳送到遙遠(yuǎn)的地方。故事的魔力激發(fā)了他們的想象力。P1：Sheknewitwouldbeadifficultjourney,butshewantedtosharethegoldwitheveryone.3

細(xì)節(jié)刻畫

對(duì)話描寫AsHannahreadaloud,thevillagerswouldgatheraround,theireyesfixedonher,completelyabsorbedinthetalessheweaved."Onceuponatime,"Hannahbegan,hervoicecarryingthroughthenightair.Thevillagersleanedincloser,hangingoneveryword."Andtheylivedhappilyeverafter,"Hannahconcluded,asmileplayingonherlips."Butwhathappenedtotheevilqueen?"ayounggirlasked,hereyeswidewithwonder.Hannahgrinned."You'llhavetowaitandsee,"shereplied,gesturingtothebookinherhand."Therearemanymorestorieswaitingtobediscovered."P1：Sheknewitwouldbeadifficultjourney,butshewantedtosharethegoldwitheveryone.當(dāng)漢娜大聲朗讀時(shí)，村民們會(huì)圍過來，眼睛盯著她，完全沉浸在她編織的故事中。“很久很久以前，”漢娜開始說，她的聲音傳遍了夜空。村民們靠得更近了，仔細(xì)聽著他說的每一句話。“從此以后，他們幸福地生活在一起，”漢娜總結(jié)道，嘴角掛著一絲微笑。“但是邪惡的女王后來怎么樣了?”一個(gè)年輕的女孩問道，她驚奇地睜大了眼睛。漢娜笑了?！澳愕玫戎?，”她指著手里的書回答?！斑€有更多的故事等著我們?nèi)グl(fā)現(xiàn)。4利用對(duì)比（時(shí)間前后對(duì)比，主角和配角，突出人物成長(zhǎng)）P1：Sheknewitwouldbeadifficultjourney,butshewantedtosharethegoldwitheveryone.AsHannahcontinuedtosharethestories,shenoticedachangeinherself.Shebecamemoreconfident,hervoicegrewstronger,andherstorytellingskillsimprovedwitheachpassingday.Thebookshadgivenherapurpose,awaytoconnectwithothersandbringjoyintotheirlives.Someofthevillagers,whohadoncebeenskeptics,nowbecamebelievers.They,too,begantosharethestorieswiththeirfamiliesandfriends,spreadingthemagicevenfurther.Thevillagebecameahubofcreativityandimagination,withpeoplecomingtogethertosharetheirowntalesandideas.主角變化：隨著漢娜繼續(xù)分享這些故事，她注意到自己發(fā)生了變化。她變得更加自信，聲音變得更加有力，講故事的技巧也與日俱增。這些書給了她一個(gè)目標(biāo)，一種與他人聯(lián)系并為他們的生活帶來快樂的方式。配角變化：一些曾經(jīng)持懷疑態(tài)度的村民現(xiàn)在也相信了。他們也開始與家人和朋友分享這些故事，將故事的魅力傳播得更遠(yuǎn)。這個(gè)村莊成為了創(chuàng)造力和想象力的中心，人們聚集在一起分享他們自己的故事和想法。5利用前文伏筆（加強(qiáng)文章的協(xié)同性）伏筆1：veryfewpeopleinthevillagecouldreadletalonewrite,andHannahwasoneofthem.P1：Sheknewitwouldbeadifficultjourney,butshewantedtosharethegoldwitheveryone.Butnow,thingshadchanged.Hannahhaddiscoveredthepowerofbooksandthejoyofstorytelling.Shehadfoundawaytobringtheworldofliteraturetothosearoundher,andindoingso,hadbecomeasourceofinspirationandenlightenmentforhercommunity.Thevillagebecameahubofcreativityandimagination,withpeoplecomingtogethertosharetheirowntalesandideas.Hannah'sreputationasastorytellerspreadfarandwide,andshebecameknownasthebringeroflightandjoytothecommunity.5利用前文伏筆（加強(qiáng)文章的協(xié)同性）伏筆2：Thelittlegirlwassoinspiredbythebooksandshelearnedthepowerofloveandfriendship!P1：Sheknewitwouldbeadifficultjourney,butshewantedtosharethegoldwitheveryone.Asshesharedherknowledgeandinspiration,thelittlegirlsawtheimpactithadonthosearoundher.Peoplewereinspiredbythestoriesandbegantoseetheworldinadifferentlight.Theybegantounderstandtheimportanceofloveandfriendshipintheirownlivesandwereinspiredtomakeapositivechangeintheworldaroundthem.當(dāng)她分享她的知識(shí)和靈感時(shí)，小女孩看到了它對(duì)周圍人的影響。人們受到這些故事的啟發(fā)，開始用不同的眼光看世界。他們開始明白愛和友誼在自己生活中的重要性，并受到鼓舞，為周圍的世界做出積極的改變。Thepowerofloveandfriendshipthatthelittlegirllearnedfromthebooksbecameaforceforgoodinhercommunity.Shewasabletoinspireotherstoseethebeautyandpotentialintheworld,andtomakeapositiveimpactonthelivesofthosearoundthem.搭建銜接句1Asthedaysturnedintoweeks,andtheweeksturnedintomonths,Hannah‘scircleoflistenerscontinuedtogrow.2Shehadfoundawaytobringtheworldofliteraturetothosearoundher,andindoingso,hadbecomeasourceofinspirationandenlightenmentforhercommunity.3Thepowerofstorytellinghadbroughthercommunitytogether.首段末句為spreadtofar-offtowns做準(zhǔn)備。利用妙招拓展第二段1搭建第二段銜接句Herlistenersgrewinnumber,notonlyfromneighboringvillagesbutalsofromdistanttowns.Hertalestraveledacrossmountainsandvalleys,reachingthefarthestcornersoftheland.Peoplewerecaptivatedbytheenchantingworldshecreatedwithherwords.她的聽眾越來越多，不僅來自鄰近的村莊，也來自遙遠(yuǎn)的城鎮(zhèn)。她的故事跨越高山和山谷，傳到世界最遙遠(yuǎn)的角落。人們被她用文字創(chuàng)造的迷人世界迷住了。P1：Soon,thewordsofHannah'sstorytellingspreadtofar-offtowns.2利用變化（時(shí)間前后對(duì)比，人物成長(zhǎng)）時(shí)間進(jìn)展空間拓展

P1：Soon,thewordsofHannah'sstorytellingspreadtofar-offtowns.

PeoplecamefromallovertohearHannah‘stales，whichbroughtjoyandwondertopeople'sliveswhowereremindedoftheimportanceofimaginationandcreativity.Thevillagethatoncelackedimaginationandadventurewasnowfilledwithit,allthankstotheforgottenpagesandthecourageousspiritofalittlegirl.人們從四面八方趕來聽那些被遺忘的書頁的故事。漢娜的故事給人們的生活帶來了歡樂和驚奇，并提醒他們想象力和創(chuàng)造力的重要性。這個(gè)曾經(jīng)缺乏想象力和冒險(xiǎn)精神的村莊現(xiàn)在充滿了想象力和冒險(xiǎn)精神，這一切都要?dú)w功于被遺忘的書頁和一個(gè)小女孩的勇敢精神。3延長(zhǎng)時(shí)間線，空間線Yearspassed,andHannahbecamealegend.Hernamewaswhisperedineveryhousehold,andherstorieswerepasseddownfromgenerationtogeneration.Thevillagethathadoncebeendullandordinarynowstoodasatestamenttothetransformativepowerofimaginationandtheimpactonelittlegirlcouldhaveontheworld.多年過去了，漢娜成了一個(gè)傳奇。她的名字在家家戶戶中傳頌，她的故事一代一代地流傳下來。這個(gè)曾經(jīng)沉悶而平凡的村莊現(xiàn)在成為了想象力的變革力量和一個(gè)小女孩對(duì)世界的影響的證明。P1：Soon,thewordsofHannah'sstorytellingspreadtofar-offtowns.4提升文章立意，加強(qiáng)修辭運(yùn)用Peopleweredrawntothevillagelikemothstoaflame,theirheartsbeatingwiththeexcitementofadventure.Hannah'snarrativeswerelikebeaconsoflight,guidingthemthroughthedarknessandremindingthemoftheinfinitewondersofimaginationandcreativity.Thevillagethatoncelackedthesepreciousqualitiesnowblossomedlikearoseinspring,allthankstotheforgottenpagesandthecourageousspiritofalittlegirl.人們像飛蛾撲火一樣被吸引到這個(gè)村莊，他們的心因冒險(xiǎn)的興奮而跳動(dòng)。漢娜的敘述就像光明的燈塔，指引他們穿越黑暗，提醒他們想象力和創(chuàng)造力的無限奇跡。這個(gè)曾經(jīng)缺乏這些寶貴品質(zhì)的村莊現(xiàn)在像春天的玫瑰一樣綻放，這一切都要?dú)w功于被遺忘的書頁和一個(gè)小女孩勇敢的精神。P1：Soon,thewordsofHannah'sstorytellingspreadtofar-offtowns.對(duì)比—看漂亮的小情節(jié)構(gòu)建Sheknewitwouldbeadifficultjourney,butshewantedtosharethegoldwitheveryone.Hannahstartedbysharingthebookswithherfamily.

Encouragedbytheirresponse,Hannahmovedontoherneighbors,friends,andanyonewhowouldlisten.Wordofthebooksspreadquickly,andsoonHannahfoundherselfsurroundedbyagroupofeagerlisteners,allhungryformorestories.Soon,thewordsofHannah'sstorytellingspreadtofar-offtowns.Peoplecamefromnearandfartohearhertales,andHannahbecamealocalcelebrity.Butdespitehernewfoundfame,Hannahremainedhumbleandtruetohermission.Shecontinuedtosharethebookswithanyonewhowouldlisten,knowingthatthepowerofstorytellingcouldchangelives.Sheknewitwouldbeadifficultjourney,butshewantedtosharethegoldwitheveryone.Hannahstartedbysharingthebookswithherfamily.

Encouragedbytheirresponse,Hannahmovedontoherneighbors,friends,andanyonewhowouldlisten.AsHannahread,shecouldseetheimpactthestorieswerehavingonthepeoplearoundher.Smilesspreadacrosstheirfaces,andeyeslitupwithanewfoundhope.Astimewentby,shebecamemoreconfident,hervoicegrewstronger,andherstorytellingskillsimprovedwitheachpassingday.Wordofthebooksspreadquickly,andsoonHannahfoundherselfsurroundedbyagroupofeagerlisteners,allhungryformorestories.Soon,thewordsofHannah'sstorytellingspreadtofar-offtowns.

Oneday,agroupoftravelersarrivedinHannah'stown.Theyhadheardofherfamousstoriesandhadcometohearthemforthemselves.Hannahwelcomedthetravelerswithopenarmsandsatdownwiththemunderabigtreeinthetownsquare.AsHannahopenedthebookandbegantoread,thetravelersweretransportedtoaworldofmagicandwonder.Theysatinsilence,theireyesfixedonHannahassheweavedhertale.Whenthestorywasover,thetravelerswereleftfeelinginspiredanduplifted."Thankyou,Hannah,"oneofthetravelerssaid."Yourstorieshavetouchedourheartsandremindedusoftheimportanceofhopeandkindness."1延長(zhǎng)時(shí)間，空間線2利用對(duì)比和人物成長(zhǎng)1小情節(jié)構(gòu)建，具體一個(gè)場(chǎng)景的刻畫2對(duì)話描寫，利用對(duì)話提高立意參考范文Sheknewitwouldbeadifficultjourney,butshewantedtosharethegoldwitheveryone.Shewantedtoignitethesparksofcuriosityandimaginationinherpeers.Makingthishermission,Hannahstartedtellingtaleseverydayathercottage.Sheaddedherowntouchofcuriosityeverynowandthentodifferentstories,makingthemmoreinteresting.Inthebeginningonlyherverygoodfriendsandherfamilycametothereadings.Butthewordsofherfamoustalesspreadrapidlycausingmoreandmorepeopletocometothereadings.Seeingtheinterestofherownpeople,Hannahstartedwritingstoriesofherowntoo!Soon,thewordsofHannah‘sstorytellingspreadtofar-offtowns.Peopletraveledfromdifferentplacestojustlistentoherstories.EveryonewouldgatheraroundHannahinaweasshetoldherstories.Theoldcottagewasnolongerwitheringawayaspeoplefromherownvillagehelpedherbuildthecottageagain.Andthus,theforgottentreasurelyingintheoldcottagetransformedintoaworldofinfiniteadventures,imaginationandpossibilities.Then，Hannaevenconductedworkshopsinwhichshetaughtherfellowshowtoreadandwrite.

Hannah'spassionanddedicationblewlifeintothetalesandherwordsbreathednewlifeintocountlesssouls.1延長(zhǎng)時(shí)間，空間線2利用對(duì)比和人物成長(zhǎng)3合理過渡1利用伏筆和標(biāo)題2延長(zhǎng)時(shí)間和空間線3提升立意實(shí)戰(zhàn)演練：2024屆杭州一模讀后續(xù)寫（越野跑）

MydadandIhadbeenlookingforwardtotheStatecross-countryraceofmysenioryearofhighschool,whichwouldbetheclimax(頂點(diǎn))ofmyexistence.Iwasthefastestrunneronmyteam,andIwassupposedtomakeitintothetopfifteen.Wehadbeenworkingtowardsthisraceforthreeyears.Itwaseverythingtome,anditwaseverythingtomydad.Hewasarunnerandwaswildwithjoybymysuccessinrunning.Hemadeittoeveryrace,evenflyinghomeearlyfrombusinesstripstoseemerun.Ialwayslistenedforhisvoice,whichrangabovethecrowd--tellingmetorelaxmyarms,callingoutmytime.Hepushedme.Hecheeredforme.Hebelievedinme.WespentcountlesshoursonthesandycanalsofArizona.Breathinginthedustofthedesert,theblossomsoftheorangetrees,andtheterriblesmellofthedairyfarm,wemadeourwayacrossthecity.Wepoundedmilesandmilesintoourrunningshoes,markingwitheverystepthepathtogreatness.Itwasajourneythatwasjustours.Adreampassedonfromonegenerationtothenext.Thenthebigdaycame.Itwashotterthannormal-toohot.Mythroatfeltlikeafieldofcotton,crackedwiththesummerheat,asIwaitedfortheguntofire.Igazedoutatthecrowd;dozensoffamiliarfacesfromchurchandschoolflickeredacrossmyview.Theyhadcomeforme.Theywerecountingonme.Isawmydadsethiswatch,worryandexcitementetchedacrosshisface.Withthesoundofagunshot,theracebegan.Forthefirsttwoandhalfmiles,Ifeltgreat.Ihadneverbeforebeensoreadyforsomething.Theweeksleadinguptotheracewerefilledwithhardpracticesandastrictdiet.Thescorchingsunbeatuponmyback,blindingmewithitsbrilliance.Nothingwasgoingtostopme,though.

However,withoutwarning,mystrengthwasrunningout.Iwhispered,“I'msosorryIdisappointedyou,Dad.”漂亮的小情節(jié)構(gòu)建Howeverwithoutwarning,mystrengthwasrunningout.Mylegsfeltheavy,andeverystepseemedtorequiremoreeffortthanthelast.Icouldseetheotherrunnerspullingawayfromme,andIknewthatIwaslosingtherace.Ilookedupatthefinishline,whichseemedsofaraway.Myheartwasracing,andIcouldfeelthesweatrunningdownmyface.Iwasbreathingheavily,andIcouldhearthesoundofmyownfootstepsechoinginmyears.Itriedtopushmyselfhardertogetclosertothefinishline,butIcouldfeelmybodybetrayingme.Mylegswereaching,andIwasstartingtofeellightheaded.IknewthatIwasabouttocollapse,butIkeptforword,determinedtofinishtherace.Finally,

Icrossedthefinishline,exhaustedanddefeated.Ilookedaroundattheotherrunners,whowereallcongratulatingeachother.Ifeltasenseofshameanddisappointmentwashoverme.Iwhispered,“I‘msosorryIdisappointedyou,Dad.”Hegavemeareassuringsmile.“Youdidn’tdisappointme,Hannah.Yougaveityourall,andthat‘sallthatmatters.”Ifelttearswellingupinmyeyes."ButIleteveryonedown.Iletmyselfdown."Hereachedoutandwipedawayatearthathadescaped."Youdidn'tletanyonedown.Youshowedcourageanddetermination.Andyouknowwhat?Thisisn'ttheend.Theimportantthingistolearnfromthisexperienceanduseittobecomestronger."Hehadalwaysbelievedinme,evenwhenIdidn'tbelieveinmyself.Anddespitethedisappointmentoftherace,IknewthatIhadsomethingfarmorevaluable-theloveandsupportofmyfamily.延長(zhǎng)空間線,空間線配合動(dòng)作和情感1對(duì)話描寫，利用對(duì)話提高立意溫州中學(xué)OnahotSeptemberafternoon,PeterandhisfriendIsabelwereontheirwaytothelibrary.WhentheypassedbyTubmanpark,Isabelsuggestedcuttingthroughittogettothelibrary.Astheyenteredthepark,thesightoftheswings(秋千)andthemerry-go-roundbroughtbackafloodofmemoriesoftheirchildhoodspentthere.Butnoweverythinglookedsoold,sad,anddirty.Litterlayonthegroundnexttoanoverflowingtrashbin.Therewerestillyoungschoolchildrenplayingtherebuttheyhadtoavoidthetrashthatlitteredtheplayground.Alittleboytoldthemthatthecitytooktheothertrashcansawayandtheremainingonenevergotemptiedoften.Astheyheadedtowardthelibrary,thetwohighschoolstudentswrinkledtheirforehead.Inthelibrary,theyencounteredMrs.Evans,theirkind-heartedfifth-gradeteacher,retiredyetstillpassionate.Mrs.EvanslistenedasIsabelandPetereagerlyexplainedwhatthey’dseen.Finally,sherecommendedthemtogototheCityHalltovoicetheirconcerns.Thenextday,IsabelandPeterwentintothebuildingoftheCityHallbutweremetwithanimpatientofficer.Theywereinformedthatthecitycouldn’thelpwiththeirproblemduetoatightbudget.Discouraged,theyleftandturnedtoMrs.Evansforhelp.Underherguidance,theydecidedtoaskGoGreen,anon-profitorganizationwhosegoalistoprotecttheenvironment,forhelp.“Thisgroupisgoodatraisingmoneyforprojectsjustlikeyours,”saidMrs.Evans.ShepromisedtoarrangethemtopresenttheirideastoGoGreen.Atthis,theirfacelitup.Twomaintasksremainedahead:researchingwaystocleanuptheparkandpreparingaconvincingpresentation.AsIsabelwasgoodatresearchingwhilePeteralwayshadatalentforspeaking,theycooperatedquitewell.Isabellearnedfromasciencemagazinethatanewtypeoftrashbincansqueezethetrashdownwithoutbeingemptiedoften,whichsavestime,money,andenergy.Basedonthis,Peterpracticedhispresentationoverandoveragain.溫州中學(xué)Aweeklater,PeterstoodnervouslyatthebackofthehallwhereGoGreenwasmeeting.Hecouldfeelnothingbuthishandsshakingandheartpounding.“You’llbegreat,Peter,”Isabelencouragedhim.Justthen,Peterheardhisnamebeingannounced.Itwastimetopresent!Petertookadeepbreathandthenwentonthestage.“TubmanParkneedsanewkindoftrashcan,”Peterexplained,pointingtoaposterofatrashcan.ThenPeterexplainedtheworkingprincipleofthetrashcanindetail.Thejudgesnoddedastheylistened,seeminginterestedintheproject.Afterthemeeting,IsabelexcitedlytoldPeterthegoodnews.GoGreenhadagreedtobuynewtrashcansforthepark!Hearingtheinspiringnews,theybothleapedintotheairwithjoy.PeterbarelyhadtimetosavorthemomentbeforeIsabelstartedsharingthenewswithMrs.Evansandshowingtheirgratitudetoher.Learningtheresult,Mrs.Evanssmiledthroughmistyeyes.“Iknowyoucandoit!TubmanParkissuretobecomeonethatiscleanandgreenagain!”NeverbeforehadPeterandIsabelbeensoproudofthemselves.1對(duì)話描寫，利用刻畫人物2群眾對(duì)主角的襯托鎮(zhèn)海中學(xué)最后一卷Istillrememberthedaywhenwedecoratedthehouse,IwastenanditwastwoweeksbeforeChristmas.Iwaslookingforwardtomypresents.SinceI'mtheyoungestinthefamily,allofthefamilymemberswouldgivemeagiftonewayoranother.Sometimesitwasacookieorahugbutitwasalwaysthere.Iwastheonlycenterofattentionanditwasfeelinggood.MyunclesusuallywouldaskmewhatIwantedbeforeChrist