從跨文化視角解讀《虎媽戰(zhàn)歌》背后中美家庭教育差異

ContentsTOC\o"1-3"\h\uChineseAbstract 2EnglishAbstract 31.Introduction 41.1BackgroundResearch 41.2LiteratureReview 41.3TheSignificanceofResearch 52.BriefIntroductiontoBattleHymnoftheTigerMother 62.1BackgroundInformationabouttheAuthor 62.2TheDiscussionabout“TigerMother” 73.TheDifferencesBetweenChineseandAmericanFamilyEducations 83.1DifferencesinEducationPurposes 83.2DifferencesinEducationContents 93.3DifferencesinEducationMethods 104.TheCausesofDifferencesinChineseandAmericanFamilyEducations 114.1CulturalBackground 114.2ValueOrientation 124.3ParentingStyle 135.Suggestions 145.1SuggestionsonEducationGoal 145.2SuggestionsonEducationContent 145.3SuggestionsonEducationMethod 156.Conclusion 15References 17從跨文化視角解讀《虎媽戰(zhàn)歌》背后中美家庭教育差異摘要中美兩國在教育領(lǐng)域是世界上具有影響力的國家，但在各種社會因素的影響下,兩國在教育理念與教養(yǎng)方式上有著顯著的差異。探討中美家庭教育差異背后成因，有助于掌握中西方文化異同，深化對家庭教育的認識。本文通過跨文化視角解讀《虎媽戰(zhàn)歌》，總結(jié)了中美家庭教育主要存在的差異以及不同成因。研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，中美家庭教育在教育目標，教育內(nèi)容以及教育方式上呈現(xiàn)差異，其背后成因可以歸結(jié)為不同的文化背景，價值取向，以及父母教養(yǎng)方式。在此基礎(chǔ)上，本文審視和反思當(dāng)今中國家庭教育的優(yōu)缺點，以美國家庭教育為鏡，為中國家庭教育現(xiàn)狀提供了一些建議。無論對于個體的成長還是整個社會的發(fā)展,家庭教育都有著不可替代的作用。只有建立平等民主的家庭關(guān)系，重視兒童綜合能力的培養(yǎng)，提高父母的素質(zhì)，才能培養(yǎng)更多為國家和社會做出貢獻的人才。關(guān)鍵詞：家庭教育；跨文化交際；虎媽戰(zhàn)歌AStudyonSino-AmericanFamilyEducationinBattleHymnoftheTigerMotherfromCross-culturalCommunicationPerspectiveAbstractChinaandAmericahavegreatinfluenceinthefieldofeducationaroundtheworld.Duetotheinfluenceofvarioussocialfactors,therearesignificantdifferencesbetweenChinaandtheUnitedStatesintermsofeducationalconceptsandparentingmethods.ExploringthecausesofthedifferencesbetweenChineseandAmericanfamilyeducationsisofgreatsignificance,whichcanknowmoreaboutthedifferencesbetweenChineseandAmericanculturesanddeepentheunderstandingoffamilyeducation.ThispaperanalyzesBattleHymnoftheTigerMotherfromacross-culturalperspective,summarizesthemaindifferencesbetweenChineseandAmericanfamilyeducationsandthecauses.Itisfoundthatthedifferencesaremainlyreflectedineducationalgoals,educationalcontents,andeducationalmethods.Itcanbeattributedtodifferentculturalbackgrounds,valueorientations,andparentingstyles.Basedontheaboveanalysis,thispaperreflectsonthemeritsanddemeritsoffamilyeducationinChina,takingAmericanfamilyeducationasamodel,providessomesuggestionsforthecurrentstatusofChinesefamilyeducation.Familyeducationtakesgreateffectnotonlyonpersonalgrowthbutalsothedevelopmentofthewholesociety.Onlybyestablishinganequalanddemocraticfamilyrelationship,payingattentiontothecultivationofchildren’scomprehensiveability,andimprovingthequalityofparents,canwecultivatemoretalentswhohavecontributedtothecountryandsociety.Keywords:familyeducation;cross-culturalcommunication;BattleHymnoftheTigerMotherIntroductionBackgroundResearchWiththeglobalizationoftheeconomyandthegeneralizationofimmigration,peoplearecommunicatingmoreandmorefrequently.Undoubtedly,wewillcaremoreaboutthepotentialculturalconflictsininterculturalcommunication.Differentculturalbackgroundswillinevitablygeneratedifferentfamilyeducations.Asakindofeducationalapproach,familyeducationisvitaltothefutureofchildren.It’sthebasisandprerequisiteforalleducationalpractices.Parentaleducationmethodsarecloselyrelatedtothedevelopmentofchildren.Duetotheinfluenceofdifferentcultures,economiesandpolicies,therearesignificantdifferencesbetweenChinaandtheUnitedStatesintermsofeducationalconceptsandparentingmethods.In2011,thepublicationofBattleHymnoftheTigerMotherwrittenbyAmyChuaintheUnitedStatescausedastrongresponse,andthen,thisworkbecamethebestselleronfamilyeducationintheyear.ThebookintroducedtheChineseeducationmethodsthattigermotherusedtocultivatehertwodaughters.Althoughtheeducationalresultswereverysuccessful,itwasstillquestionedbymanyexpertsduetotheAmericaneducationconceptwhichadvocatesindividualismandfreedevelopment.Asaresult,theissueoffamilyeducationbetweenChinaandtheUnitedStateshasbecomeahottopic,whichhasarousedgreatattentionfrombothcountries.Theculturalcausesaboutthisissuearealsoworthexploring.Culture,asakindofspiritualstrength,canbetransformedintomaterialstrengthinfamilyeducation,whichhasaprofoundimpactonparents’parentingbehavior(習(xí)近平,2016).Differentculturalbackgroundsgeneratedifferentwaysoffamilyeducation.Educationisanintegralpartofculture,anditisaffectedandrestrictedbyculture.Atthesametime,educationisanimportantmeansofinheriting,developingandcreatingculture.Thatistosay,educationisthecontinuousinheritanceanddisseminationofculture,andisbasedontheneedsofthetimesandsocietyaccordingtotheselectionandtransformationofculture.ProfessorGuJiazu(2008)believesthatcross-culturalresearchshouldgraspthemaincharacteristicsofculture,it’sthecoreofresearch.Revealingtheunderlyingvaluesisundoubtedlythemostimportantanddifficultproblemincross-culturalcommunicationresearch.Therefore,itisofgreatsignificancetostudythedifferencesbetweenChineseandAmericanfamilyeducationsfromcross-culturalcommunicationperspective,basedonthenovelBattleHymnoftheTigerMother.LiteratureReviewChinaistheearliestandmostfruitfulcountryinthehistoryoffamilyeducationresearchintheworld.Chinesetraditionalfamilyeducationadvocatesstrictmethodstoraisechildren(王建軍,2001).Family-orientedisthecharacteristicoftraditionalChinesesociety,wherewomenhavetherighttoeducateandadmonishtheirchildren.Traditionalmothereducationthoughthasestablishedasolidfoundationforthestudyoffamilyeducationtoday.TheeducationmethodoftigermotherAmyChuaisatypicalrepresentationofChinese-styletutoring.BasedonAmyChua’swork,scholarWangHuarong(2011)refinedBattleHymnoftheTigerMotherintoAmyChua’seducationalgoalorientation,choiceofeducationmethods,andeducationresultexpectation,exploredthedifferencesinfamilyeducationofdifferentculturalbackgroundsanddialecticallyanalyzedtheeducationoftigermother.LuWei(2011)carefullyinterpretedthespecificcasesinBattleHymnofTigerMother,andlistedaseriesofconflictsbetweentigermomandchildren.ScholarsYuKe,LumLydia,andMarshallKohlerhaveallexploredthedifferencesbetweentheChineseandAmericaneducationstylesoftigermoms(李麗華,2016).Foreignscholarsalsohavesomeworkabouttheeducationalwayoftigermother.AmericanpsychologistBaumrind(1971)hasdividedfamilyparentalattitudesintotwocategories:thefirsttypeisauthoritativeandthesecondoneisarbitrary.Theeducationstyleoftigermomisauthoritative.AstudybyLeung(1998)foundthattheautocraticparentingstyleofChineseparentsispositivelyrelatedtotheirchildren’sacademicachievement.TheeducationmethodoftigermothertriggeredadebatebetweenChineseandAmericanfamilyeducations.Corrigan(2011)exploredthereasonthatmanymothersadoptChinese-styleeducationinsteadofAmerican-styleeducation(Net1).Mansell’swork,HiddenTiger,exploredthereasonthatChinesechildrendosowellatschool(Net2).Paul(2011)thoughtthattheincidentabouttigermomisrelatedtothenationalidentitycrisisoftheUnitedStates(Net3).ChinesescholarsGuoYingjian(2011)believedthatBattleHymnoftheTigerMotherhascausedahugebutterflyeffectinChinaandtheUnitedStates,aswellasinmanyAsianandWesterncountries.ItcanbefoundfromtheexistingliteraturethatdomesticandforeignscholarshavepaidmoreattentiontothedifferencesbetweenChineseandAmericanfamilyeducationsunderthedebateof“tigermother”education.Butmostarticlesjusttalkaboutthisphenomenon,ratherthanexplorethecausesfromacross-culturalperspective.BasedontheexistingresearchonBattleHymnoftheTigerMother,thisstudyattemptstoanalyzethecausesofthephenomenonofthe“tigermother”basedontheeducationcasesinthebook,andattemptstoimprovethegapintheexistingresearchintermsofcontent,soastoobtainanewtheory.TheSignificanceofResearchInrecentyears,ChinahasdefinedfamilyeducationinDictionaryofEducationeditedbythewell-knowneducatorGuMingyuan(1998)as:“Theinteractionandeducationbetweenfamilymembers,usuallyreferstotheeducationofparentsandchildren.”TherearetwointerpretationsoffamilyeducationintheAmericanEducationDictionary.Oneviewconsideredfamilyeducationaformalpreparation,includingthecurriculumofaschool,religiousorganization,orotherwelfaregroup,withthegoalofreachingparentsandchildren,inordertofurthertherelationshipinfamily.Theotherviewbelievedthatfamilyeducationisinformallearningandshouldbeconductedinthefamilytolearnappropriateknowledgeandskillsforfamilylife(黃乃毓,1998).Familyeducationplaysanirreplaceablerolebothinthedevelopmentofindividualsandthewholesociety.Familyeducationistheprimarystageofchildeducation,anditisanimportantsupplementtoschooleducation.WemustdeeplyunderstandthedifferencesbetweenChineseandWesternfamilies,learnfromeachother,andadvancethemodernizationoffamilyeducation.Byexploringfromtheperspectiveofculturalbackgroundandanalyzingtheconflictsinthefieldoffamilyeducationconceptsbetweenthetwocountries,wecanbetterunderstandtheeducationaldifferencesbetweenChinaandAmerica,whichwillhelpChineseparentslearnfromtheexperienceofeducationintheUnitedStatesandestablishascientificconceptoffamilyeducation.2.BriefIntroductiontoBattleHymnoftheTigerMother2.1BackgroundInformationabouttheAuthorBattleHymnoftheTigerMotherwasthebestsellerin2011onfamilyeducationwhichwaswrittenbyAmyChua.Thecompletesubtitleofthebookis:“Thisisastoryaboutamother,twodaughters,andtwodogs.ThiswassupposedtobeastoryofhowChineseparentsarebetteratraisingkidsthanWesternones.Butinstead,it’saboutabitterclashofcultures,afleetingtasteofglory,andhowIwashumbledbyathirteen-year-old”(AmyChua,2011:1).HerancestorswerefromFujianandlateremigratedtothePhilippines.AmyChuaistheeldestofthefoursistersinthefamily.ShegraduatedfromHarvardUniversityasthebesthonorsgraduatein1984andgotthemaster’sdegreefromHarvardLawSchoolasoneofthehonorsgraduatesin1987.AmyChua,awell-knownscholarinthefieldoflaw,wasonceanexecutiveeditoroftheHarvardLawReviewatschool.ShemarriedwithaJewishman,JedRubenfeld,andtheywereallprofessorsatYaleUniversity.InBattleHymnoftheTigerMother,AmyChuasharedherexperienceinraisingtwodaughtersandrecordedtheprocess.HerfatherwasalsoaChinese-styleparent,andhewasextremelydemandedofher.AmyChuahasbeencalledatigermother,notonlybecauseherChinesezodiacsignisthetiger,butalsobecauseshefollowedherfather’sstrictparentingstyle.Asasecond-generationChineseimmigranttotheUnitedStates,sheeducatedhertwodaughterswithhighexpectationsandstrictparentingmethodsfromChineseparents.Notonlydidhertwodaughtersdowellinschool,buttheywerealsoknownasprodigiesofmusic.SophiaperformedattheCarnegieHalloftheWorldMusicTempleattheageof14.LouisabecametheprincipalviolinistoftheYaleYouthOrchestraattheageof12.ThisbookrecordswhathappenedtoAmyChua’seducationofhertwodaughtersandrevealsthatChinesepeoplehavecompletelydifferentviewsonhowtoraisechildrencomparedwiththeAmericanfamilyeducation.AmyChuausedtheChinese-styleparentingprinciplestorefertochild-rearingmethodsthataredifferentfromwesternideas.ShebelievedthatWesterneducationmethodsaretootolerant,andtheimplementationofstrictfamilyeducationmethodsintheEastwilldohelptothefurtherdevelopmentofchildren.2.2TheDiscussionabout“TigerMother”ThepublicationofBattleHymnoftheTigerMotherintheUnitedStatesin2011triggeredaheateddiscussionandfocusedonfierceculturalconflicts.Itwastranslatedintoavarietyoflanguagesanddistributedthroughouttheworld,andpeopleindifferentcountrieshavedifferentviewsontigermom.ThereweremanypeoplewhoagreedwiththeparentingstyleofAmyChua,andthosewhodeniedthecruelmethodsarguedthatitwouldonlydestroychildren,fortheystronglyadvocatedthewesternwayofeducation.TheNewYorkTimescomparedthe“tigermother”toaSovietsatellitethatinitiallyshockedtheUnitedStates(Net4),TheLosAngelesTimesdescribedthebook’sfastcirculationasavirus’sspreading.ThematicdiscussionsintheTimes,theWallStreetJournalandothermediahavegonefromchildeducationmethods,differencesbetweenChineseandAmericancultures,andeventocompetitionbetweenChineseandAmericanfamilies(Net4).TheybelievedthatChina’sriseinglobalstatusanditsglobalemphasisoneducationhaveaffectedpeople’sattitudetowardsthe“tigermom”.ProfessorZhaoYong,associatedeanoftheSchoolofEducationattheUniversityofOregon,saidthatthedifferentculturalunderstandingsofeducationintheEastandtheWestarethemainreasonstoexplainthefactthatAmericansocietyissocriticalofAmyChua’shigh-pressureparentingmethod(Net4).ThisdebateaboutChineseandWesternfamilyeducationssoonspreadinChina.ChinaYouthDailySocialSurveyconductedpollson1795peopleonChinaNetworkandS,showingthat94.9%ofpeoplethoughtthatthereweremotherswhoeducatedtheirchildrenliked“tigermoms”,20.4%ofthemsaidtherewerealotof“tigermoms”intheirlives,ratherthanacase(Net4).HuangHeqing,associateprofessoroftheDepartmentofEducationatEastChinaNormalUniversity,believesthat“tigermom”maybecomeatypicalparentinparentingchildrenratherthanagoodexampletofollowafter.ChenKai,associateprofessoratCommunicationUniversityofChina,believedthatsino-Americanfamilyeducationcanbesaidtobetwopolareducations,andthereallycorrectoneshouldbeacombinationofthetwo(Net4).3.TheDifferencesBetweenChineseandAmericanFamilyEducations3.1DifferencesinEducationPurposesThenatureoffamilyeducationisthebasisoffamilyeducationactivities,furthermore,it’sthedestinationoffamilyeducationpracticeactivities.Itrestrictsthetypesoffamilyeducationactivities,whicharetheimportantprocessinfamilyeducation.Thecontentandmethodsoffamilyeducationarealsodeterminedbasedoncertainfamilyeducationpurposes.ManyChineseparentsunconsciouslyassociatetheirchildren’sdevelopmentwiththewholefamily.Theancientthoughtthatgoesthat:“studycanmakeone’s

ancestorsillustrious”stillremainsinthemindsofsomeChineseparents.“Don’tletchildrenloseonthestartingline”isthemantraofparentpresents(張霞,2012).Sendingchildrentothebestschools,andspendingmoremoneyonextratutoring,areinlinewiththehopethattheacademicperformanceoftheirchildrencanbebetter,sothattheycanwingloryforthefamily.ComparedwithAmericanfamilyeducation,thegoalofChinesefamilyeducationismoreresult-orientedandutilitarian.Thestudyofartshouldcultivatepeople’semotionsandmakethemhappy.Onceachildstartstoexcelinanarea,math,piano,courtorballet,heorsheispraised,admired,andcontented.Thiswillboostself-confidenceandmakethingsmorefun.However,theeducationalpurposeofexcessiveutilitarianismgivesupbrilliantlearning,andturnsintoatoolforextrapoints,whichisnotonlybadforthechild’sphysicalandmentalhealth,butincreasesthestudypressureonthechild.InBattleHymnoftheTigerMother,theauthorAmyChuaclaimedthatshehadfollowedthetraditionalChinesestricteducationconceptinraisingchildren,andpaidgreatattentiontotheiracademicachievementsinordertobreakthecurseof“greatman’ssonsseldomdowell”.Chineseparentscaremoreabouttheirchildren’sstudyresults,andbelievethataslongastheypushhard,theirchildrenwillsucceed.MostparentsinChinabelievetheproverbthat“sparetherodandspoilthechild”,wherechildrenmustbeobedientandstudyhard.Childrencangetexcellentresultsthroughcontinuouspractice,andthengainconfidenceandinterestduringtheprocess（趙佳佳,王華蓉,2011).However,childrensometimesarelazy,soitrequiresparentstohaveperseverance,persistentlysupervisethechildrentostudy,andevenuseharshmethodstoscoldandthreatentheirchildren.WhenAmyChua’seldestdaughter,Sophia,wasinfifthgrade,shegotthesecondplaceinthemultiplicationspeedcalculationtest.Fromthenon,AmyChuaaskedSophiatodo20testpaperseachtime,eachofwhichwas100speedcalculationquizzes.Afteraweekofintensivetraining,Sophiawonthefirstplaceinthemultiplicationspeedcalculationtest.TheyoungerdaughterLouisadidnotliketogetextrapointsintheexam.AmyChuatoldLouisathatchildrenwithgoodqualityshouldgetextrapoints.Sincethen,Louisanevergaveupextrapoints.Intermsofthevalueorientationoffamilyeducationgoals,Americanfamilyeducationgoalstendtofocusontheindividualdevelopment.ThepurposesofAmericanfamilyeducationmorefocusonthecultivationofchildren’sviabilityandadaptability.Americanparentswanttheirchildrentogrowintoindependentpeoplewhocanadapttotheneedsofsociety(鄭少惠,2014).Basedonthisconcept,Americanparentscaneducatetheirchildreninarelativelystress-freeenvironment,andmaximizetheirchildren’senthusiasm,whichmakesiteasiertocultivatewell-roundedtalents.Inaddition,mostAmericansbelievethatsuccessisapersonalmatter,soparentsaregenerallyreluctanttolettheirchildrengainbenefitsfromthesuccessofparentswithoutanyeffort.ButthepurposeoffamilyeducationinChinatendstobefamily-oriented,andthewishesofchildrenareeasilyignored.Parentsoftenreplacethewishesofchildrenwiththeirownpurposes.3.2DifferencesinEducationContentsAmericanparentsrespectandencouragechildrentomaketheirownchoicesandtakeresponsibilityforthemselves.Whenmakingdecisions,parentswillrespectthechoicesoftheirchildren.Chineseparentsalwaysbelievethattheyknowwhattheirchildrenneedmorethantheirchildren,sotheyalwaysimposetheirpreferencesontheirchildren.Americansliketoencouragetheirchildrentotrynewthingsinfamilyeducation,whiletheChineserestricttheirchildrentodomanythings.Americanparentsalwaysencouragetheirchildrentoboldlyexploretheunknown,continuetocultivatetheirhands-onability,andcultivatetheirself-confidence.TheChineseparentsliketoprotectandrestraintheirchildreninfamilyeducation,sothatchildrendependontheirparentsforeverythingtheydo.Childrenlackself-confidenceandevendoubttheirabilities.Americanparentstendtoguidetheirchildren,respecttheirchildren’swishes,anddonotrequiretheirchildrentodoanythingmandatory.Whenfacedwithchoices,theyaremorewillingtoadvisetheirchildren.ThisbookrevealsmanyChinese-styleparentingprinciples,herearesomeexamplesinBattleHymnoftheTigerMother.Childrenarenotallowedtoattendasleepover,haveaplaydate,beinaschoolplay,complainaboutnotbeinginaschoolplay,watchTVorplaycomputergames,choosetheirownextracurricularactivities,getanygradelessthananA,notbethetopstudentineverysubjectsexceptgymanddrama,playanyinstrumentotherthanthepianoorviolin,andnotplaythepianoorviolin(AmyChua,2011:3).PsychologistOliverJamesbelievesthatthelackofcreativityisauniversalphenomenoninAsianschools.Basedonpragmatismtheoretically,creativityisalmostlost.MikeVilenskythinksparentsalwaysarrangefulldayschedulesfortheirchildren,whichwillalsoleadtothelossofchildren’screativity.Toomuchdisciplinewillmakealackofimagination(蘆葦,2011).Incomparison,thecontentofAmericanfamilyeducationisrelativelydiverseandscientific.Americanparentscaremoreaboutthecultivationoftheirchildren’sindependenceandproblem-solvingability.Theystrivetomakechildrendevelopsynchronouslyinphysicalstrength,life,emotions,etc.,andattachimportancetoquality-orientededucationandcomprehensivedevelopment.Americanparentsorganizefamilyactivitiesregularly,likeoutdoorexerciseandfieldhiking,sothatchildrencanparticipateinphysicalexerciseandbecomethelittlemasterofthefamily.Indailylife,Americanparentswillcultivatetheirchildren’sfinancialability.Eachchildhasitsownbankaccount.Theymanagetheirownpocketmoney.Thepocketmoneyisnotallfromparentsandelders.Parentsonlygivesomeamountofmoneyaspocketmoneyforthechildren,iftheywantmoremoney,theyhavetodotheparttimejobs.Inthecultivationofemotions,parentswillalsointentionallycultivatetheirartappreciationskills.Childrenwillwatchvariousartexhibits,andbeencouragedtoparticipateinartcreationactivities.Americanparentsalsoencouragechildrentodovariousseasurfing,rockclimbingandotheradventuresports(田欣玉,2019).3.3DifferencesinEducationMethodsChineseparentsthinktheirchildrenshouldabsolutelyobeytheirorders,whichmakesthemproud.Forexample,onacoldwinterafternoon,AmyChuawantedtoteachheryoungerdaughterLouisatoplaythepiano,butherdaughterrefusedit.Determinedtomakeherdaughterbecomeobedient,AmyChuainsistedthatLouisadoasshewastold.IfLouisadidn’tobeytheorders,shecouldn’tstayinthehouse.Butherdaughterdidn’tlistentoherandwentoutsidewithlessclothing!Americaisacountrythatadvocatesfreedom,democracyandequality,soitsfamilyeducationalsoshowsthesecharacteristics.Americancultureemphasizesthestatusofpeopleasindependentindividualswithreason,dignity,andfreewill.Self-awarenessoccupiesadominantposition,soindividualsareclearabouttheirneedsandgoals,whichrequirespeopletoberesponsiblefortheirowndestiny.Theybelievethatsuccessiscreatedbythemselves,andtheyarethedominantforceintheirwholelife.MostAmericanparentsareliberalminded,therefore,theygenerallythinkthatchildrenareequalandindependentindividuals,nottheirprivateproducts.Childrenhaveuniquethoughtsandideas.Americanparentswillnotmakeanydecisionsonbehalfoftheirchildren.Instead,theywillgivethechildrentherighttochooseandletthemlearntoberesponsibleforthemselves.Parentsjustencouragetheirchildren,helpthemtobuildconfidence,traintheabilitytomakechoicesbythemselves.ButmostparentsinChinaarehelicopter-typeparents(referringtoparentshoveringoverthechildlikeahelicopteratalltimestomonitorallmovementsofthechildren)andsnow-plowedparents(referringtoparentsclearingallobstaclesforthechildren)(田欣玉,2019).Intheirnotions,childrenareregardedastheirprivateproducts.Familyeducationmethodsareusuallyintheformofparentalarrangements.Inaddition,Chineseparentsalwaystreattheirchildrenastheiraffiliatesandmakesomeimportantdecisionsfortheirchildren.Theyoftenthinkthattheirchildrenarenotobedientenough,anditiseasyforthemtolosetheirtemperiftheirkidshavetheirwonopinionswhicharedifferentfromtheirs.What’smore,theeducationallanguagesofparentsinChineseandAmericanfamilyeducationsisalsodifferent.Americanparentsaremorewillingtoencouragetheirchildren:“Comeon,youcan”,whileChineseparentsoftensay:“Whyareyousostupid?”AmyChua’seldestdaughterSophiashowedgreatdisrespecttoher,andthemotheryelledthatherdaughterwasa“jerk”.WhatAmericanparentssaytotheirchildrencanencouragethemwell,whilewhatChineseparentssaytotheirchildrenoftenhurtsthemalot.4.TheCausesofDifferencesinChineseandAmericanFamilyEducations4.1CulturalBackgroundChinaisacountrywithalonghistory,butithasalsoformedanextremelyconservativenationalcharacterduringthefivethousandyears.ChinesetraditionalcultureoriginatedintheYellowRiverBasin,andmanytributariescontinuedtoflowin.Atthesametime,sometributariesalsodivergedaway.Inthiscontinuousprocess,thetraditionalChineseculturewasconstantlytransformedandupdated,andpasseddownfromgenerationtogeneration.TheChinesenationhasastrongcohesiveforce,theyobserveancientrulesandworshipauthority.People’slivesareconfinedtoaspecificenvironment,sotheyarecloselyrelated,andhaveastrongsenseoffamily.IntheprocessofthecontinuousdevelopmentofChineseculture,Confucianismhaspenetratedintoallareasofit.Politically,Confucianismgovernsthecountrywithmorality;philosophically,ConfucianismisthecoreoftraditionalChinesephilosophy.Andideologically,thedialecticalthinkinginConfucianismisalsothemainformofthinkingintraditionalChineseculture.ZhangDainiansaid:“Confucianphilosophyisthephilosophyofeducators,andthecontributionsitmadetoeducationalphilosophyareparticularlysignificant”(南鋼,2011).Bycontrast,Americaisknownasanimmigrantcountry.Atfirst,theimmigrantsintheUnitedStatescamefromAsia,andthenfromEuropeandAfrica.It’slikeameltingpotwithmultiplecultures.Astimegoes,affectedbywidevarietyofculturesandvalues,Americanscanacceptnewideasquicklyandareeducatedtobeenlightened(賈尚姝,2013).ThisdidgreathelptotheprevalenceofutilitarianthoughtsintheUnitedStates.WesterneducationthoughtwasrestrainedbyChristianculturefromancienttimes,anditwasn’tdevelopeduntiltheRenaissanceandreligiousreform,fromthenon,theconceptoffreedomgraduallybecamepopular.Atthesametime,westernutilitarianthoughtshavebeguntoemerge,whichhasbecomethekeynoteofmodernWesterneducationalthoughts.Utilitarianthoughtrunsthroughtheentiredevelopmentprocess,itfocusesonthepursuitofindividualindependenceandfreedom.4.2ValueOrientationConfuciancultur