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讀后續(xù)寫示例與寫作訓(xùn)練9
【寫作示例】
【原文呈現(xiàn)】
閱讀下面短文,根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫,使之構(gòu)成一個完整的故事。
Thepassengersonthebuswatchedsympatheticallyastheattractiveyoungwomanwitha
whitewalkingstickmadeherwaycarefullyupthesteps.Shepaidthedriverand,foundtheseat
he'dtoldherwasempty.Thenshesettledinandrestedherstickagainstherleg.
IthadbeenayearsinceSusanbecameblind.Duetoamedicalmisdiagnosis(誤診),shewas
suddenlythrownintoaworldofdarknessandfrustration.Andallshehadtodependonwasher
husband,Mark.
MarkwasanAirForceofficer.Whenshefirstlosthersight,hewatchedhersinkinto
hopelessnessandwasdeterminedtohelphegaintheconfidence.
Finally,Susanfeltreadytoreturntoherjob,buthowwouldshegetthere?Shewasnowtoo
frightenedtogetaroundthecitybyherself.So,Markdrovehertoworkeachday,eventhough
theyworkedatoppositeendsofthecity.
Atfirst,thiscomfortedSusan.Soon,however,MarkrealizedthenecessityforSusanto
becomeindependentandwantedhertostarttakingthebusagain.Justasexpected,Susanwas
afraidofthisidea.ButMakepromisedSusanthathewouldridethebuswithheruntilshegotthe
hangofit.
Fortwoweeks,Mark,inmilitaryunifoimaccompaniedSusantoandfromworkeachday.He
taughtherhowtorelyonherothersenses,specificallyherhearing,totellwhereshewasandhow
toadapttohernewsurroundings.
Atlast,Susandecidedthatshewasreadytotryonherown.Mondaymorningarrived,and
beforesheleft,shehuggedMark.Hereyeswasfilledwithtearsofgratitudeforhispatienceand
love.Shesaidgood-bye,andfbrthefirsttime,theywenttheirseparateways.
Eachdaywentperfectly,andSusanhadneverfeltbetter.Shemadeit.
OnFridaymorning,Susantookthebustoworkasusual.Asshewaspayingforthebusfhre.
thedriversaid,“Lady,Isuredoenvyyou.^^(340words)
注意:
1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;
2.應(yīng)使用5個以上短文標(biāo)有下劃線的關(guān)鍵詞語;
3.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段,每段的開頭語以為你寫好;
4.續(xù)寫完成后,請用下劃線標(biāo)出你所使用的關(guān)鍵詞。
Paragraph1:
Curious,sheaskedthedriver,(iWhydoyousaythatyouenvy^me?”
Paragraph2:
TearsofhappinesspoureddownSusanscheeks.
【思維路徑】
[核心內(nèi)容]
文本主要內(nèi)容為:一位女士因失明而感到沮喪與絕望,丈夫陪伴她重建自信。在她害怕
獨(dú)自出門時,她丈夫每天開車接送她上下班。為了讓她重新獨(dú)立起來,她丈夫說服她重新坐
公交車上班。一開始,他陪她一同坐公交車,教她學(xué)會用其他的感官去判斷位置。兩周后,
女士決定獨(dú)自出行,一切都很順利。在第五天早上上車之后,司機(jī)表達(dá)了對她的羨慕。
[寫作思路]
(1)明確故事人物關(guān)系(characters)。故事中主要人物為失明的女士Susan,她的丈夫Mark
以及公交車司機(jī)。
(2)理清故事主要事件(events)。丈夫陪失明的妻子每天坐公交車上下班兩周后,妻子開
始自己坐公交車。在她獨(dú)自出行的第五天,公交車司機(jī)表達(dá)了對她的羨慕。
(3)根據(jù)已知人物、事件及續(xù)寫段落首句預(yù)測故事發(fā)展(development)。故事總體的發(fā)展
應(yīng)該是司機(jī)告訴Susan羨慕她的原因。因?yàn)樗緳C(jī)敘述的這個原因,Susan流下了幸福的眼淚。
可以結(jié)合前文表達(dá)的Mark對Susan的耐心與愛,預(yù)測這個原因可能是因?yàn)镸ark每天都在
暗中跟著Susan上下班,為了保證她的安全。續(xù)寫第一段:Susan問司機(jī)為何羨慕她,司機(jī)
告訴她羨慕她的原因是因?yàn)樗幸粋€非常愛她的人。他看到她丈夫每天都看著她坐公交車安
全到達(dá)辦公室才離開,表達(dá)了對她濃濃的愛意。續(xù)寫第二段:Susan聽完之后流下了幸福的
眼淚?;蛟S她回憶起Mark一直以來對她的愛和照顧,并因此而感到幸福與感動;或許她開
始想象回想這一周上班的經(jīng)歷,回憶著Mark在周圍暗中關(guān)注她的跡象;也有可能她回家后
表達(dá)了對Mark所做的一切的感動,表達(dá)了她的幸運(yùn)與對丈夫的愛。
(4)結(jié)合下劃線詞羅列寫作要點(diǎn)(points)。結(jié)合下劃線詞和文本內(nèi)容,展開盡可能豐富的
想象,羅列出盡可能多的故事發(fā)展情節(jié)。例如,第一段可以通過問以下問題來獲取寫作要點(diǎn)
“WhydidthedriverenvySusan?Whatwouldbethepossibleanswer?Whatwouldthedriver
say?DidithaveanythingtodowithSusan'shusband,Mark?等";第二段可以問以下問題來獲
取寫作要點(diǎn):WhatwouldSusanthink?Whatmightbeherfuthcrreaction?Whatwouldshedo?
等”。
[參考范文I
Curious,sheaskedthedriver,''Whydoyousaythatyouenvyme?”Thedriverresponded,"it
mustfeelgoodtobetakencareofandprotectedlikeyouare."Confused,Susanaskedagain,
“Whatdoyoumean?”Thedriverexplained,ltWell,youknow,everymorningforthepastweek,a
finelookinggentlemaninamilitaryuniformhasbeenstandingacrossthecornerwatchingyouas
yougetoffthebus.Hemakessureyoucrossthestreetsafelyandhewatchesuntilyouenteryour
officebuilding.Thenheblowsyouakissandwalksaway.Youarealuckylady.”
TearsofhappinesspoureddownSusanscheeks.Althoughshecouldn'tseehimwithhereyes,
shehadalwaysfeltthatMarkwasjustthere.Shewassuchaluckyandhappylady,fbrher
husbandhadgivenheragiftmorepowerfulthansight,agiftthatshecouldfeelanddidn'tneedto
see一thegiftoflovethatcanbringlightwherethereisdarkness.(150words)
[范文解析]
范文圍繞文章的內(nèi)容進(jìn)行了合情合理的拓展。給出的兩段開頭分別為Susan好奇地問
司機(jī)為何羨慕她,以及Susan留下幸福的眼淚。因此第一段主要寫司機(jī)對Susan的這一問題
進(jìn)行回答,而這一原因是Susan的丈夫?yàn)榇_保安全而每天暗暗陪伴她上班,因而讓Susan流
下了幸福的眼淚。第二段寫Susan知道之后的心理活動,包括回顧這幾天坐公交車有被陪伴
的感覺,以及對丈夫的這種無微不至的愛的感動。范文最后一句寫了這份愛“照亮”了Susan
黑暗的世界,既與她失明這一事實(shí)想結(jié)合,又升華了主題。
[提煉歸納]
1.合理拓展情節(jié)
讀后續(xù)寫首先要讀通給定文本,把握故事的人物和事件。在此基礎(chǔ)上根據(jù)提示對故事的
發(fā)展作出合情合理又合乎邏輯的預(yù)測。為了將預(yù)測過程顯性化,可以通過設(shè)問的方式,將預(yù)
測重點(diǎn)以問題的方式顯示出來,以利后續(xù)寫作時的心理整理和語言組織。在該練習(xí)中,我們
通過7個問題來拓展并整理自己的寫作思路,這7個問題以“司機(jī)羨慕Susan的原因”以及
“Susan由此做出的反應(yīng)”為主體,之間有一定的邏輯關(guān)系,符合故事發(fā)展的合理結(jié)局。
2.有效運(yùn)用銜接手段
在具體的寫作過程中我們要對羅列的要點(diǎn)進(jìn)行篩選和整合,還要考慮寫作要點(diǎn)之間連接
手段(connectives)的有效運(yùn)用,例如在范文中,我們用了“until",“although",“for”等連詞,
使得小句間的邏輯關(guān)系更清晰明了,文章更加連貫。同時:我們也使用了“waching…”和
“confused”這樣的非謂語動詞結(jié)構(gòu)作伴隨狀語和原因狀語,使得行文更加流暢,語言更加
地道。
【寫作演練】
1.閱讀下面短文,根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫,使之構(gòu)成一個完整的故事。
AtDana'syardsale,Timchoseabaseballfromthetoysspreadonthecardtableandasked
abouttheprice.DanatoldhimeverythingwasaquarterexceptNezumi,acottontoyrat.Itwas
greywithsomecottonstickingoutfromtheholewhereanearhadbeentornoff.
“Nezumiisextraspecial,soheistendollars.Heneedsasafenewhome.^^Danasighed.Tim
laughedsayinghedidn'thavetendollars.DanalaughedtooandgaveNezumitoTimasafreegift
becausehewasherfriend.WhenTimwhispereditwassortofold,Danasaidoldtoyswerethe
best.ShetheninvitedTimtoherbirthdaypartythenextevening,addingthatherparentswere
givingherarealratforherbirthday.Timwasamazedandaskedifitwasaliverat.
“Ofcourse.^^Danasaid.
Athome,Tim'smothershowedhimthegiftshehadboughtforDana.Itwasaknitting
spool(針織線軸)shapedlikeamushroom.MomsaidDanacouldknitascarffbrherdoll.Tim
sighedthatDanawasn'taknittingkindofpersonbutaratkindofperson.Momlaughedafter
knowingwhathadhappened.Togethertheydrovetothepetstore,whereTimsearchedand
searchedandselectedaclearplasticball,oneinwhichtheratcouldrunaroundonthefloorsafe
fromcatsanddogs.TimthoughtofNezumi'searanddecidedDana'snewratwouldneedthisball.
Thenextday,Danabroughtcupcakestoclass.WhenshehandedacupcaketoTim,sheasked
ifTimbroughtNezumitoschoolasNezumilikedtorideinbackpacks.Timwasatalossbecause
Nezumiwasathomeonhisbed.ThenDanaaskedwhatgifthewasgivingher.Timreplieditwas
asurprise.InsilencetheysatfbrawhilebeforeheheardDanasayherparentsweregivinghera
newbikefbrherbirthdayinsteadofaliveratbecausetheythoughtratswouldbitethings.
注意:1.所續(xù)寫的短文詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;
2.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段,每段的開頭語已為你寫好;
Para1:
Athomethatafternoon,Timstaredattheplasticratball.
Para2:
Allofasudden,hehadanidea.
2.閱讀下面短文,根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫,使之構(gòu)成一個完整的故事。
Everynightafterdinner,mygrandparentswouldturnonTVforthe6o*clocknews.No
matterhowhardItriedtoactthegrown-upandwatchwiththem,Iwouldinevitably(不可避免地)
getdistracteduntil6:30whenWheelofFortunecameon.
Mygrandmawouldplayalong,tryingtoguesstheanswersbeforetheplayers.Hershoutsof
excitementwhenshesucceededcouldbeheardacrossthehouse.
AsIgrewolder,myloveofreadingandwritingblossomed,andIwouldjoinmygrandmain
yellingoutletters.Soon,Iwasexperiencingthethrillofsolvingthepuzzlesfasterthanthe
contestants(選手)andevenmygrandma.Iwashooked.
Duetoconstantmovingaroundwithmymomandfather,Istartedtospendlesstimewithmy
grandparents,butourbondremainedstrong.Mygrandparentsprovidedmewiththestability,love
andsupportthatIdesperatelyneededwhenIgrewup.WhenIwasinabadmood,Iwould
remcinberthosesweetnights.
Afewyearslater,IwaslivingwithmygrandpainChicago.Whilewatchinganepisode(集)
ofWheelofFortune,wehadawaveofnostalgia(,懷I日).Withapplication,Ididn'tthinkmuchofit
untilIreceivedamailmonthslater,announcingthattheWheelofFortunecastingteamwould
cometoChicago.Inordertobeconsideredforanin-personaudition(試演),applicantswouldneed
tosubmitasixty-secondvideoexplainingwhytheywantedtobeacontestant.
Allmychildhoodmemoriesofwatchingtheshowcamefloodingback,andIknewIwas
meanttospin(旋轉(zhuǎn))thewheelforreal.Immediately,Irecordedavideoandsubmittedit.Acouple
ofweekslater,Ireceivedane-mailinvitingmetoauditioninperson.Iwasverynervousonthe
auditionday.Icouldn'tbelieveIwastryingoutfor"America'sGame”!Aftertworoundsofintense
auditioning,withhalfofthehopefulslettinggoafterthefirstround,itwasover.Allofus
applicantsweretoldwewouldreceivealetterinthemailwithintwoweeksifwewereselected.
注意:
所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;
2.至少使用5個短文中標(biāo)有下劃線的關(guān)鍵詞語;
3.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段,每段的開頭語已為你寫好;
4.續(xù)寫完成后,請用下劃線標(biāo)出你所使用的關(guān)鍵詞語
Paragraph1:
Irantothemailboxeverydaybuttherewasnothing.
Paragraph2:
Thenonemorningwhilegettingreadyfbrwork,Icheckedmymailandletouttheloudest
screamever.
3.閱讀下面短文,根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫,使之構(gòu)成一個完整的故事。
Whenshelookedaroundherhouse,BettyMargaretsawlotsofelectronics.Alongwiththe
usualthingslikeherlaptopandsmartphone,therewereallofherkids'electronicdevices:cell
phones,videogamedevicesandmore!Thereseemedtobemorethanenoughwaysforherandher
threechildrentobeonlineallday,everyday.ks5u
Ms.MargaretworriedthatherkidswerebecomingtoodependentontheInternetand
electronics.Thenshebegantorereadoneofherfavoritebooks,HenryThoreau'sWalden,which
gaveMs.Margaretanidea.Thoreauspent2yearsinasimplecabinwithoutrunningwater,and
havingtogrowhisownfood.Maybesheandherfamilycouldlivewithoutsuchluxuriesas
computersandelectronicdevicesforawhile.
Ms.Margarettalkedwithherkidsandexplainedthatshewantedthefamilytotrylivingfor6
monthswithouttheInternet,cellphones,TV,andvideogames.Ms.Margaretwritesarticlesfora
newspaperinAustralia,andhadwrittenseveralbooksaswell.Shetoldherchildrenthatifthey
agreed,shewouldwriteabookabouttheirexperienceandtheycouldgoonatripabroadwiththe
moneyfromsalesofthebook.Herthreechildrenagreed,and“theexperiment,"asMs.Margaret
called,began.
Overthecourseoftheexperiment,theMargaretchildrenhaddifferentreactionstolife
withoutelectronics.Beforetheexperimentbegan,Anni,theeldestofthechildren,readbooks
morethanheryoungerbrotherandsister.Shethereforehadarelativelyeasyadjustmenttothe
family'snewlifbstyle.Annicouldalsousethelibrary'scomputerforherhomework.Bill,who
lovedtoplayvideogamesbeforetheexperimentbegan,hadtofindawaytospendallofhisnew
freetime.Hestartedtospendmoretimepracticinghissaxophone(薩克Wf管).Susan,the
youngestchildinthefamily,hadthehardesttimeadjustingtolifewithoutelectronics.Shefelt
restlessforthefirstweeksandlater,influencedbyhereldersister,graduallybegantofindinterest
inthenovelexperiencesbroughtbyvariousbooks.
注意:
1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;
2.應(yīng)使用5個以上短文中標(biāo)有下劃線的關(guān)鍵詞語;
3.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段,每段的開頭語已為你寫好;
4.續(xù)寫完成后,請用下劃線標(biāo)出你所使用的關(guān)鍵詞語。
Paragraph1:
Thefamilycarriedonwiththeexperimentfbrthe6monthswithouttechnologycontrolling
theirlives.
Paragraph2:
Ms.Margaretwrotethebookshehadplanned.
4.閱讀下面材?料,根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段,使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。續(xù)寫
的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。
Iwaslackingineverythingneededtostartanewfriendship.
Myparentsmovedtothetownwhentheydecidedtolookfornewjobsbuttheydidn'trealize
IwasreallyhurtwhenIsaidgoodbyetomyoldfriends.Itfeltawfultobeanewstudentinthe
schoolandwhenmyclassmateswerechatting,whatIcoulddowastobecaughtupinmy
thoughtswatchingthecloudsoutsidethewindow.Iwasnotgoodatmathorhistory;norwasI
goodatdrawingordancing.Iwasshyandtimid.Ihadafewfriendsbackatmyhometownandit
seemedthattheyweretheonlyoneswhoIcouldbefriendswithformywholelife.IfeltIhad
achievedapointofsaturationwithregardtohavingfriendsandIcouldmakenofurtheraddition
tomyfriendlist.Iwasashamedofmyself,soIbelievedIdeservednonoticefromothersuntil
Emilycametomyworld.
Emilywasfearless,outspokenandeasytogo.ShewaseverythingIwasnotandIwastoo
shytocomeoutofmyshell.ImetEmilyinschoolalmosteverydayandyetInevertalkedtoher.
Wewereinthesameclassbutwewerelikepolesapart.HowIwishedIcouldbelikeherorat
leastbeafriendofhers!
Itwasanotherordinaryday.
Iwanderedtothebusstopinthemorningandwaitedfortheschoolbus.Birdsweresinging
songswiththeirfriendsbutwhocouldIsingsongswith?Igotonthebusandwentstraighttomy
usualseat,complaininginalowvoiceaboutgettingupearlyandgoingtoschoollikeeveryother
day,andabouthowthingsweregoingtobethesamealloveragain.LittledidIrealizesomething
differentwouldhappenthatday.
Para.1:
WhenIgotuptogetdownthebus,myschoolbagwasstuckinthearmrest.
Para.2:
IgotnoticedbyEmily,whobroughtmecouragetostartanewfriendship!
5.閱讀下面材料,根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段,使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。
TheMeredithfamilylivedinasmallcommunity.Astheeconomywasindecline,some
peopleinthetownhadlosttheirjobs.Manyoftheirfamilieswerestrugglingtomakeendsmeet.
Peopleweretryingtohelpeachothermeetthechallenges.
Mrs.Meredithwasamostkindandthoughtfulwoman.Shespentagreatdealoftimevisiting
thepoor.Sheknewtheyhadproblems,andtheyneededallkindsofhelp.Whenshehadtime,she
wouldbringfoodandmedicinetothem.
Onemorningshetoldherchildrenaboutafamilyshehadvisitedthedaybefore.Therewasa
mansickinbed,hiswife,whotookcareofhimandcouldnotgoouttowork,andtheirlittleboy.
Thelittleboy-hisnamewasBernard-hadinterestedherverymuch.
“Iwishyoucouldseehim,^^shesaidtoherownchildren,John,Harry,andClara."Heissuch
ahelptohismother.Hewantsverymuchtoearnsomemoney,butIdonftseewhathecando.”
Aftertheirmotherlefttheroom,thechildrensatthinkingaboutBernard.wishwecould
helphimtoearnmoney,“saidClara."Hisfamilyissufferingsomuch.”
“SodoI,“saidHarry."Wereallyshoulddosomethingtoassistthem.^^
Forsomemoments,Johnsaidnothing,but,suddenly,hesprangtohisfeetandcried,“Ihave
agreatidea!Ihaveasolutionthatwecanallhelpaccomplish(完成)
Theotherchildrenalsojumpedupallattention.WhenJohnhadanidea,itwassuretobea
goodone."ItellyouwhatwecandoJsaidJohn.uYouknowthatbigboxofcomUncleJohnsent
us?Well,wecanmakepopcorn(爆米花),andputitintopaperbags,andBernardcantakeit
aroundtothehousesandsellit.”
注意:
1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右:
2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。
Para.1:
WhenMrs.MeredithheardofJohn'sidea,shethoughtitwasagoodone,too.
Para.2:
Witheverythingready,Bernardstartedoutonhisnewbusiness.
笞案與解析
1.【參考范文】
Athomethatafternoon,Timstaredattheplasticratball.Wonderingabouttheuseofthe
clearplasticballifDanahadnorat,hestartedwalkingupanddowntheroomwithafrownonhis
face.Momwassurprisedandaskedhimwhatwashappening.TimtoldherDanawasn'tgettinga
liveratfromherparentsbutabike.Astheywererackingtheirbrains(絞腦汁)tocomeupwithan
appropriategift,TimturnaroundandsawNezumionhisbed.
Allofasudden,hehadanidea.HeliftedNezumiandsqueezingNezumiintotheplasticball
withgreatcautionsothatNezumiwouldbesafefromcatsanddogs.Seeingthis,MomaskedTim
whetherhewasgivingDanaanoldcottonratwithoneearasagift,Timnoddedwithasmile
sayingshewoulddefinitelylikeit.LookingatMom'sconfusedexpression,TimaddedthatDana
wasaNezumikindofpersonwhothoughtoldtoysweretheBEST.
【解析】
通過閱讀所給文章可知,Tim從Dana的庭院舊貨出售會得到了有一只耳朵被扯掉了的
玩具老鼠Nezumi,Tim很喜歡。Dana的生日快到了,Tim去商店里為Dana喜歡的老鼠買
了一個透明的塑料球,可以讓它在里面跑,不會被貓和狗咬傷。第二天Tim聽到Dana說她
的父母給她的生日禮物是一輛新自行車,而不是一只活老鼠,因?yàn)樗麄冋J(rèn)為老鼠會咬東西。
續(xù)寫部分分為兩段,第一段開頭是:那天下午在家里,Tim盯著塑料老鼠球。所以后文應(yīng)該
是講述Tim得知Dana不會受到老鼠作為生日禮物后的心理活動,他覺得買的這個塑料老鼠
球沒有用了,于是他皺著眉頭開始在房間里走來走去。媽媽很驚訝,問他發(fā)生了什么事。
Tim告訴她Dana從她父母那里得到的不是一只活老鼠,而是一輛自行車。當(dāng)他們絞盡腦汁
想出合適的禮物時,Tim轉(zhuǎn)過身,看見Nezumi躺在床上;第二段開頭是:突然,他有了一
個主意。本段應(yīng)該寫Tim為Dana準(zhǔn)備生日禮物的過程,Tim要送Dana一只長著一只耳朵
的老鼠。
最后還要注意所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。按要求完成寫作任務(wù)。
【范文點(diǎn)評】
本文描寫詳略得當(dāng),使用了高級詞匯和高級句子。如:walkupanddown,not...but...,with
greatcaution等高級i司丫匚;WonderingabouttheuseoftheclearplasticballifDanahadnorat,he
startedwalkingupanddowntheroomwithafrownonhisfhce.非謂語動詞的運(yùn)用和if引導(dǎo)的條
彳牛狀語從句;Seeingthis,MomaskedTimwhetherhewasgivingDanaanoldcottonratwithone
earasagift,Timnoddedwithasmilesayingshewoulddefinitelylikeit.運(yùn)用了whether弓|導(dǎo)的
賓語從句等高級句式。
2.【參考范文】
Paragraph1:
Irantothemailboxeveiydaybuttherewasnothing.Afteroneweek,Ibecamevery
frustratedandeventhoughtthemailhadbeendeliveredtothewrongdepartment.Mygrandma
cameandcomfortedme,"Laura,waitpatiently.nFeelingdefeated,Ireplied,nIwasn'tgoodenough.
Theydidn*twantme."Shesaidwithaconfidenttone,nYouwillbeselectedandreceivethemail.
Trustme."ThoughIdidn'tbelieveIwouldreceivethemail,Iwasnotsoanxious.Icalmeddown
andlivedmylifeasbefore.
Paragraph2:
Thenonemorningwhilegettingreadyforwork,Icheckedmymailandletouttheloudest
screamever.Thereitwas:amailfromWheelofFortunestatingthattheyhadatapedateforme.I
hadtoreaditseveraltimesbeforeItrulybelievedit.IwasgoingtobeacontestantonWheelof
Fortune!Iendedupfilmingmyepisodeafewmonthslater,andtheentireexperiencewasamazing.
FrommeetingPatandVanna,tospinningthewheeland,mostimportantly,sayingthosemagical
words,'*rdliketosolvethepuzzle.nItwasadayIwillneverforget.
【解析】
這是一篇讀后續(xù)寫。文章講述了作者在爺爺奶奶的影響下喜歡上一檔名叫Wheelof
Fortune的節(jié)目。多年后,當(dāng)回到芝加哥和爺爺一起居住時,作者收到一封信,邀請他參加
這個節(jié)目的試演。出于對這個節(jié)目的喜愛,作者決定錄制一個短片嘗試。兩輪比賽后,節(jié)目
組請作者回家等通知。
續(xù)寫分為兩段。
根據(jù)第一段的開頭“我每天都去郵筒看,但什么都沒有“可以接著寫:一周后還是沒有信
件,作者感到沮喪,估計(jì)自己可能被淘汰了。但是祖父母安慰她,給她信心,并且讓她耐心
等待。作者調(diào)整心態(tài),回歸正常生活。
根據(jù)第二段的開頭“那天早上我正準(zhǔn)備好去上班,檢查郵筒時,我大聲尖叫起來“可以接
著寫:作者不敢相信自己收到節(jié)目組的來信,并給她安排了錄制時間。作者把自己的喜悅同
祖父母分享。非常感謝曾經(jīng)那段陪著他們一起觀看節(jié)目的日子,讓她不僅得到了歡樂還學(xué)到
了很多知識,得以參加這個全美國人民都喜歡的節(jié)目。
用5個以上的關(guān)鍵詞加大了寫作難度。考生應(yīng)熟悉關(guān)鍵詞,以便在適當(dāng)時候加以運(yùn)用。
寫作完成后,要將關(guān)鍵詞下劃線。
【范文點(diǎn)評】
范文內(nèi)容完整,要點(diǎn)全面,語言規(guī)范,語篇連貫,詞數(shù)適當(dāng),上下文意思連貫,符合邏
輯關(guān)系。作者在范文中使用了一些主從復(fù)合句,例如:ThoughIdidn*tbelieveIwouldreceive
themail,Iwasnotsoanxious.中though弓|導(dǎo)讓步狀語從句;Thereitwas:amailfromWheelof
Fortunestatingthattheyhadatapedateforme.中that弓|導(dǎo)賓語從句。
3.【參考范文】
Thefhmilycarriedonwiththeexperimentforthe6monthswithouttechnologycontrolling
theirlives.Ms.Margaretbelievestheyallcameoutbetterfortheexperience.Thechildrenhada
lotmoreinteractionwitheachotherandwiththeirmother.Nowthattheycouldnottextothers,
theyhadtoactuallyseeeachotherandtalk.Meanwhile,thefamilyplayedboardgamestogether,
cookedmealstogetherandreadthenewspapertogether.Billendedupdevelopingaserious
interestinmusic,andinSusan'scase,sheimprovedhergradesinschool.
Ms.Margaretwrotethebookshehadplanned.Thebookbecameanimmediatehitand
arousedgreatinterestamongmanyparents.Inherbookandininterviewsaboutthebook,Ms.
Margaretdescribesthepleasantchangesthathappenedinherfamilyandtheprogressherchildren
havemade.Sheencouragesfamiliestosetasidespecial"screen-freedays“wherefamiliesunplug
themselvesandspendtimetogether,whichisexactlywhatherfamilyhaveagreedtodoafter
returningfromanenjoyablefamilytripabroad.
【解析】
本篇書面表達(dá)是讀后續(xù)寫。通過閱讀所給文章可知,貝蒂?瑪格麗是一位母親,她有3
個孩子。因?yàn)閾?dān)心她的孩子們變得過于依賴互聯(lián)網(wǎng)和電子產(chǎn)品,于是她向她的孩子們提出說
她想讓這個家庭試著在沒有互聯(lián)網(wǎng)、手機(jī)、電視和電子游戲的情況下生活6個月的計(jì)劃。如
果他們同意,她將寫一本關(guān)于他們的經(jīng)歷的書,他們可以用賣書的錢去國外旅行。孩子們同
意并開始了這種生活。
【范文點(diǎn)評】
續(xù)寫部分分為兩段,第一段開頭是:這個家庭在沒有科技控制他們生活的情況下進(jìn)行了
6個月的實(shí)驗(yàn)。所以本段應(yīng)該寫這次經(jīng)歷給她的孩子們帶來的變化(好的方面)。第二段開頭
是:瑪格麗特寫了這本她計(jì)劃好的書。本段應(yīng)該寫這本書出版后引起了人們的興趣,以及貝
蒂?瑪格麗就這種生活方式向家長提出建議。續(xù)寫時要求使用5個以上短文中標(biāo)有下劃線的
關(guān)鍵詞語增加了寫作難度,我們要熟悉所給劃線詞語,恰當(dāng)?shù)臅r候加以運(yùn)用.最后還要注意
所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;續(xù)寫完成后,請用下劃線標(biāo)出你所使用的關(guān)鍵詞語。按要
求完成寫作任務(wù)。
4.【參考范文】
Para.1:
WhenIgotuptogetoffthebus,myschoolbagwasstuckinthearmrest.Ididn'tnoticeitand
stoodupwithallmystrength.Unfortunately,myschoolbagwastomapartandallthecontentsfell
ontheground.Ikneltdowntopickthemup.Suddenly,Isawahandpassingmesomeofthe
books.IlookedupandfounditwasEmilywhowashelpingme.Withherhelp,Iputallthe
contentsback,tomyschoolbag.Ibegantotalkwithherandwassurprisedtofindthatwehad
muchincommon.
Para.2:
IgotnoticedbyEmily,whobroughtmecouragetostartanewfriendship!OnedaywhenItold
herthatIadmiredherandhowIwishedtobeafriendofhers,shesaid,“Wehavealreadybeen
fidends."IfeltsohappythatIevensangasong.Hearingmysong,shethoughthighlyofitand
askedmetoteachhertosingit.ShemademerealizehowuniqueIwasandatlastIcameoutof
meshell.
【解析】
通過閱讀所給文章可知,作者跟隨父母來到了一個新城鎮(zhèn),作為一名新生在學(xué)校的感覺
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