別讓焦慮成為你追逐夢(mèng)想的絆腳石

別讓焦慮成為你追逐夢(mèng)想的絆腳石別讓焦慮成為你追趕幻想的絆腳石

Doesanxietyleadyoutohesitateandsecond-guessyourself?Whenyouthinkofstartinganewprojectorgoingintoagroupsituationwithpeopleyoudontknow,doyoufeelbutterfliesinyourstomachorasenseofdread?Doyoueupwithlotsofreasonsnottodoapotentiallyfunorprofitableactivitythathassomedegreeofrisk,likejoiningahikingcluborvolunteerorganizationpostingyourdatingprofileonline,gettingfit,startingablog,orturningyourhobbyintoasmallbusiness?Doyoudotonsofresearchbutnottakethenextsteptoturnyourideasintoaction?Ifthisisyou,anxietyandexcessivecautionmaybegettinginyourwayandstoppingyoufromgoingafteryourdreamsandlivingamoremeaningfulandfulfillinglife.Avoidancefeedsonitselfandmakesyoulessconfident,whilegettingstartedandtakingactioncreatesapositivecyclethatnaturallyhelpsyouranxietygodown.Butwheredoyoubegin?Thestrategiesbelowprovidearoadmapformovingforwardandtakingthefirststeptowardsthelifeyoulongfor!

你有沒有過由于焦慮而優(yōu)柔寡斷、自我懷疑？開頭一個(gè)新項(xiàng)目，或是想融入一個(gè)新的群體，心里會(huì)不會(huì)七上八下、忐忑擔(dān)心甚至有些恐驚？參與徒步旅行俱樂部、或是加入自愿組織在網(wǎng)上曬自己的約會(huì)檔案、減肥、寫博客、把自己的的愛好做成事業(yè)......這些事情看上去既好玩又有意義，你心生憧憬躍躍欲試，但最終是不是還是為自己編了一堆理由放棄，只由于其中可能存在的風(fēng)險(xiǎn)？是不是做了很多討論但就是沒法做出行動(dòng)把想法變成現(xiàn)實(shí)？假如這是你，那么焦慮和過度謹(jǐn)慎可能已經(jīng)阻礙你追趕幻想、過上有意義且充實(shí)的生活。躲避只會(huì)惡性循環(huán)讓你更加不自信，而開頭行動(dòng)則會(huì)建立正向回路讓你自然而然削減焦慮。那么怎么開頭呢？以下的策略供應(yīng)了一條向前進(jìn)的路，為你開啟追求抱負(fù)生活的第一步！

DontWaitforYourAnxietytoGoDown

不要坐等焦慮減輕！

Youranxietyislikelywiredinaspartofyourtemperamentandwontjustgodownonitsown.Ourhumanbrainsarehard-wirednottolikeuncertainty,unpredictabilityandchangeandsomeofusarejustanxiety-pronebynature.However,whenyoutakeactiontowardsyourgoalsdespitetheanxietyandyouactuallysurvivetheexperience,yourbrainbeginstolabeluncertaintyaslessdangerous.Overtime,youbuildasenseofself-efficacy-youbegintoseeyourselfassomeonewhocantakeactionandbesuccessfulevenwhenyourefeelinganxious.

焦慮植根于我們的天性之中，它不會(huì)自己減輕。人類的大腦生來就憎惡不確定性、不行估計(jì)性和變化，只是有些人天生焦慮易感性更高。然而當(dāng)你頂著焦慮實(shí)行行動(dòng)朝著目標(biāo)邁進(jìn)時(shí)，大腦會(huì)重新評(píng)估，并告知你其實(shí)不確定性也沒有那么危急，這就是勝利的第一步。隨著時(shí)間的推移，漸漸地你會(huì)建立一種自我效能感，即使感到焦慮，你也會(huì)認(rèn)為自己有行動(dòng)力量并且能夠通過行動(dòng)獲得勝利。

SetaRealisticGoalThatMakesSenseforYou

設(shè)立適合自己的、符合實(shí)際的目標(biāo)！

Weallhavedifferentpersonalities,temperaments.andpreferences.Wedontallwanttobelawyers,havehundredsoffriends,runmarathons,besuper-skinnyandliveinamansion.Anxietymakesyouseeyourselfaslesstalented,lovableorpetentthanothers.Whenyouthinkofmovingforward,ifyoudontreallyknowyourself,youmaysetagoaltobelikeyourfriendorneighbor-todowhatissociallyacceptableorwhatothersexpectofyou.Itsveryhardtoremainmittedandfollowthroughondifficultlong-termgoals,especiallyifyourenotreallypassionateabouttheactivity.Ratherthanthinkingaboutwhatyoushould”bedoing,takealookinsideandaskyourselfwhatyoureallywant.Perhapsyouareacreativeperson,orwanttotravel,havelifebalance,livehealthier,orfindacaringpartner.Whateveritisyouwant,figureoutwhatistheeasiestthingyoucandotogetstarted.Phraseyourgoalspecifically“e.g.,walkfor20minutesthreetimesnextweek.”Youcantclimbamountainallatonceandyouremorelikelytoachieveyourgoalwithintrinsic(ingfromtheinside)motivationthanwhenyourejusttryingtopleaseothers.

我們都有不同的性格、脾氣和喜好。并不是每個(gè)人都想成為律師、伴侶成群、跑馬拉松、瘦成閃電或者坐擁豪宅。焦慮讓你覺得自己沒有別人有天分、有競(jìng)爭(zhēng)力，甚至不像別人一樣值得被愛。假如你不了解真正的自己，在設(shè)立目標(biāo)時(shí)，你很有可能會(huì)仿照你的伴侶甚至鄰居，去做一些社會(huì)認(rèn)可的事情或是滿意他人的期望。這種狀況下設(shè)立的目標(biāo)很難成為長(zhǎng)期堅(jiān)持的目標(biāo)，尤其是那些你并非真正喜愛的事情。與其總是想你“應(yīng)當(dāng)”做什么，不如換個(gè)角度想想你真正想要什么，說不定你是個(gè)有制造力的人，或是想要生活工作平衡、想去旅行、活得更健康，又或者你只是想找個(gè)可心的人兒。不管你想要什么，想清晰，然后找到最簡(jiǎn)單的入手的事情行動(dòng)起來。把目標(biāo)用詳細(xì)的可量化的方式表達(dá)，比如：“下周漫步?????三次，每次20分鐘?！鼻杏?，不要想一步登天，一口吃成個(gè)胖子，另外達(dá)成目標(biāo)最好是內(nèi)部動(dòng)機(jī)驅(qū)動(dòng)，而不是為了取悅他人。

TrusttheProcess

相信過程！

AsMartinLutherKingJuniorsaid“Faithistakingthefirststepevenwhenyoucantseethewholestaircase.”Evenifyoudonthavefaithtobeginwith,faithwilleifyoujusttakethatfirststep.Themoreyoutakeaction,themorelikelyyouaretohavesomesuccessesandbegintotrustyourself,theprocess,ortheuniverse.IoftenstartwritingablogpostnotknowingexactlywhatImgoingtowrite.IvelearnedthatifIhaveagenuineintentiontohelpmyreadersandamessagetoshare,thenthecontentwillemerge.Asmanywriterswilltellyou,ifyoujuststartwriting,theideaswillformandyour“creativemasterpiece”willtakeshapeovertimeasanxietydiminishesandyoureleftwithyourstorytotelloryourgenuinepassionfortheideasyouwanttoexpress.Thesameappliestootheraspectsoflifelikestartinganewjob,project,relationship,orbusinessventure.

馬丁路德金說過:信念，就是即使看不到長(zhǎng)階通向何方，卻仍情愿邁出第一步。”即使一開頭沒有,但只要你邁出了第一步,信念就會(huì)隨之而來.做得越多,勝利的可能性就越高,漸漸地你會(huì)相信自己,相信過程,相信世界。我的博客經(jīng)常開頭于我完全不知道要寫些什么的時(shí)候。我知道只要我有東西要共享,并真心誠(chéng)意的想關(guān)心讀者,內(nèi)容自然而然就會(huì)消失.許多作家都會(huì)告知你,剛開頭寫作的時(shí)候，隨著焦慮漸漸削減，到最終只剩下故事和傳遞想法的純真熱忱，這個(gè)時(shí)候你的想法和制造性地作品自然而然就出來了。這個(gè)道理同樣適用于生活的其他方面，比如開頭一份新工作、新項(xiàng)目、新戀情或是新的投資項(xiàng)目。

CurbtheCatastrophizing

不要小題大做

Anxiouspeopletendtofocusonwhatcouldgowrongandonhowbaditwouldbeifyoutookariskandgotanegativeoute.Whatifyouwentonadateandthepersonturnedouttobeajerkortheynevercalledyouback?Whatifyouinvestedabitofmoneytostartabusinessanditdidntworkout,orifyouappliedforajobanddidntgetit?Whatifyouchangedjobsbecauseyouweremiserableandfoundyourselfinaworsesituation?Whileyouwouldntwanttheseoutes,howbadaretheyreally?Aretheyasbadasgettingcancerorafamilymemberdying?Imguessingtheansweris“No”!Couldyousurvivethem?Doyouhavecopingskillsyoucoulduseorcouldyoutryagainortakeadifferentapproachthenexttime?Illbetyoucould!Anxietymakesyouoverestimatetherisksoftakingaction,butwhataretherisksofstayingstuckinabadsituation?Wontyouregretnoteventryingtogoafteryourdreams?

面對(duì)風(fēng)險(xiǎn)，焦慮的人習(xí)慣性地關(guān)注壞的結(jié)果，而面對(duì)負(fù)性結(jié)果時(shí)，他們也更傾向關(guān)注這個(gè)結(jié)果究竟會(huì)壞到什么程度。他們會(huì)想，去約會(huì)假如遇到奇葩怎么辦？萬一我看對(duì)了眼別人會(huì)不會(huì)再聯(lián)絡(luò)我？投資創(chuàng)業(yè)失敗了怎么辦？換工作投簡(jiǎn)歷沒有反饋怎么辦？不換工作當(dāng)前的狀態(tài)又讓自己苦痛不堪怎么辦？這些結(jié)果都不是我們想要的，但是他們究竟有多糟呢？比罹患癌癥更糟糕？還是比家人離世更糟糕？我相信答案肯定是“不！”那么你能挺過去嗎？你有應(yīng)對(duì)的策略嗎？或者等下次換個(gè)方式再試試？我相信你可以的！焦慮讓你過度高估了實(shí)行行動(dòng)的風(fēng)險(xiǎn)，但是不是也該考慮考慮始終處在糟糕狀況下的風(fēng)險(xiǎn)呢？時(shí)過境遷，回想當(dāng)年，你是否會(huì)圓滿面對(duì)幻想，你竟然試都沒試就放棄了？

BeYourOwnCheerleader,NotYourOwnCritic

做自己的拉拉隊(duì)長(zhǎng)，而不是自我批判家！

Goingafteryourdreamsistoughandyouwillfaceinevitableobstaclesandfailuresalongtheway.Butyoudontneedtomakethesebarriersworsebybeatinguponyourselfeverytimeyoudosomethingthatdoesntturnoutperfectly.Manyoflifesimportantouteshaveanelementofluckoruncertainty.Wecancontrolwhatwedo,butwecantcontrolmarketforcesorwhatotherpeopledecide.Youmayspeakupforyourselfandgetcriticismandpushback,butthatdoesntnecessarilymeanyouvedonesomethingwrong.Ourbrainsnaturallygotothenegativebecausetheyareprotection-focused,ratherthanpromotion-focused.Tooverethisbias,youneedtodeliberatelyfocusonthepositivesinthesituation.Honoryourselffortakingarisk,leaningintoyourdisfort,orjustshowingupwhenyouwantedtocurluponthecouchathome!Youcantcontroltheoutes,sopraiseyourselfforputtingintheeffortandyoullcontinuetostaymotivated!

追趕幻想是困難的，沿途要面對(duì)很多不行避開的阻礙和失敗。有些事情結(jié)果可能不那么完