【省級(jí)公開(kāi)課】高中英語(yǔ)讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)課件

讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)講評(píng)

（教育部考試中心，2015）提供一段350詞以內(nèi)的語(yǔ)言材料，要求考生依據(jù)該材料內(nèi)容、所給段落開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)和所標(biāo)示關(guān)鍵詞進(jìn)行續(xù)寫(xiě)（150詞左右），將其發(fā)展成一篇與給定材料有邏輯銜接，情節(jié)和結(jié)構(gòu)完整的短文?？疾榈闹饕獌?nèi)容包括以下四點(diǎn)：（1）與所給短文及段落開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)的銜接程度；（2）內(nèi)容的豐富性；（3）應(yīng)用語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)和詞匯的豐富性和準(zhǔn)確性；（4）上下文的連貫性寫(xiě)續(xù)讀后閱讀能力考查能力*能理解原文內(nèi)容*能準(zhǔn)確理解原文的篇章結(jié)構(gòu)和關(guān)鍵信息*能深入理解原文的內(nèi)容要素、內(nèi)容發(fā)展、邏輯關(guān)系、語(yǔ)言特點(diǎn)等。寫(xiě)作能力*內(nèi)容產(chǎn)出：能在原文的基礎(chǔ)上創(chuàng)造新的內(nèi)容；能與原文內(nèi)容保持融洽，形成有效協(xié)同。*語(yǔ)言運(yùn)用：能夠用豐富的詞匯和句子結(jié)構(gòu)并且使用準(zhǔn)確，恰當(dāng)；與原文的詞匯和句子結(jié)構(gòu)甚至語(yǔ)言風(fēng)格協(xié)同（較高要求）*篇章結(jié)構(gòu)：能與原文合理銜接；能使用恰當(dāng)?shù)倪B接手段是續(xù)寫(xiě)完整、連貫。思維能力能在根據(jù)原文進(jìn)行續(xù)寫(xiě)時(shí)體現(xiàn)出創(chuàng)造性。學(xué)習(xí)能力能通過(guò)讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)學(xué)習(xí)原文作者的語(yǔ)言特點(diǎn)和寫(xiě)作方式。3時(shí)空線；故事情節(jié)線；情感發(fā)展線語(yǔ)體風(fēng)格；文體風(fēng)格表現(xiàn)風(fēng)格讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)評(píng)分原則解讀01020304本題總分為25分，按七個(gè)檔次進(jìn)行評(píng)分閱卷評(píng)分時(shí)，應(yīng)主要從內(nèi)容、語(yǔ)言表達(dá)和篇章結(jié)構(gòu)三個(gè)方面考慮，具體為：（1）創(chuàng)造內(nèi)容的質(zhì)量，續(xù)寫(xiě)的完整性以及與原文情境的融洽度。（2）使用詞匯和語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)的準(zhǔn)確性，恰當(dāng)性和多樣性。（3）上下句的銜接性和上下文的連貫性。評(píng)分時(shí)，先根據(jù)文章的內(nèi)容和語(yǔ)言初步確定其所屬檔次，然后以該檔次的要求來(lái)衡量，確定或調(diào)整檔次，最后給分。評(píng)分時(shí)還應(yīng)注意（1）所續(xù)寫(xiě)短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右（詞數(shù)不少于120）；（2）續(xù)寫(xiě)與標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號(hào)是語(yǔ)言準(zhǔn)確性的一個(gè)方面，評(píng)分時(shí)，應(yīng)視其對(duì)交際的影響程度予以考慮。英、美拼寫(xiě)和詞匯用法均可。(3）如書(shū)寫(xiě)較差以致影響交際，可將分?jǐn)?shù)降低一個(gè)檔次。內(nèi)涵身材顏值檔次描述第七檔（22-25分）漂漂亮亮無(wú)大語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤，可以有2-3處拼寫(xiě)或者詞形錯(cuò)誤

—?jiǎng)?chuàng)造了豐富、合理的內(nèi)容，富有邏輯性，續(xù)寫(xiě)完整，與原文情境融洽度高。—使用了多樣且恰當(dāng)?shù)脑~匯和語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)，表達(dá)流暢語(yǔ)言錯(cuò)誤很少，且完全不影響理解。—自然有效地使用了段落間、語(yǔ)句間銜接手段，全文結(jié)構(gòu)清晰，前后呼應(yīng)，意義連貫。第六檔（18-21分）清清楚楚2-3處大語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤—?jiǎng)?chuàng)造了比較豐富、合理的內(nèi)容，比較有邏輯性，續(xù)寫(xiě)比較完整，與原文情境融洽度較高。—使用了比較多樣且恰當(dāng)?shù)脑~匯和語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)，表達(dá)比較流暢，有個(gè)別錯(cuò)誤但不影響理解。—比較有效地使用了語(yǔ)句間銜接手段，全文結(jié)構(gòu)比較清晰，意義比較連貫。第五檔（15-17分）平平淡淡1/3的語(yǔ)言錯(cuò)誤

—?jiǎng)?chuàng)造了基本合理的內(nèi)容，有一定的邏輯性，續(xù)寫(xiě)基本完整，與原文情境相關(guān)?！褂昧吮容^恰當(dāng)?shù)脑~匯和語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)，表達(dá)方式不夠多樣性，表達(dá)有些許錯(cuò)誤，但基本不影響理解。—使用了語(yǔ)句間銜接手段，全文結(jié)構(gòu)比較清晰，意義基本連貫。第四檔（11-14分）馬馬虎虎一半的語(yǔ)言錯(cuò)誤—?jiǎng)?chuàng)造了基本完整的故事內(nèi)容，但情節(jié)不夠合理或邏輯性不強(qiáng)，與原文情境基本相關(guān)?！褂昧撕?jiǎn)單的詞匯和語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)，有部分語(yǔ)言錯(cuò)誤或不恰當(dāng)之處。個(gè)別部分影響理解?！杏姓Z(yǔ)句銜接手段，全文結(jié)構(gòu)基本清晰，意義基本連貫。第三檔（6-10分）糊里糊涂2/3的語(yǔ)言錯(cuò)誤

—內(nèi)容和邏輯上有一些重大問(wèn)題，續(xù)寫(xiě)不夠完整，與原文有一定程度脫節(jié)?！玫脑~匯有限，語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)單調(diào)，錯(cuò)誤較多且比較低級(jí)，影響理解?！茨苡行У厥褂谜Z(yǔ)句間銜接手段，全文結(jié)構(gòu)不夠清晰，意義欠連貫。第二檔（1-5分）艱艱難難—內(nèi)容和邏輯上有較多重大問(wèn)題或有部分內(nèi)容抄自原文，續(xù)寫(xiě)不完整與原文情境節(jié)本脫節(jié)?！褂玫脑~匯非常有限，語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)單調(diào)，錯(cuò)誤較多，嚴(yán)重影響理解?！獛缀鯖](méi)有使用語(yǔ)句間銜接手段，全文結(jié)構(gòu)不清晰，意義不連貫。第一檔（0分）干干凈凈未作答；所寫(xiě)內(nèi)容太少或無(wú)法看清以致無(wú)法評(píng)判，所寫(xiě)內(nèi)容全部抄自原文或與題目要求完全不相關(guān)。內(nèi)容、語(yǔ)言表達(dá)和篇章結(jié)構(gòu)TheMeredithfamilylivedinasmallcommunity.

Astheeconomywasindecline,somepeopleinthetownhadlosttheirjobs.Manyoftheirfamilieswerestrugglingtomakeendsmeet.Peopleweretryingtohelpeachothermeetthechallenges.Mrs.Meredithwasamostkindandthoughtfulwoman.Shespentagreatdealoftimevisitingthepoor.Sheknewtheyhadproblems,andtheyneededallkindsofhelp.Whenshehadtime,shewouldbringfoodandmedicinetothem.Onemorningshetoldherchildrenaboutafamilyshehadvisitedthedaybefore.Therewasamansickinbed,hiswife,whotookcareofhimandcouldnotgoouttowork,andtheirlittleboy.Thelittleboy-hisnamewasBernard-hadinterestedherverymuch.“Iwishyoucouldseehim,”shesaidtoherownchildren,John,Harry,andClara.“Heissuchahelptohismother.Hewantsverymuchtoearnsomemoney,butIdon'tseewhathecando.”Aftertheirmotherlefttheroom,thechildrensatthinkingaboutBernard.“Iwishwecouldhelphimtoearnmoney,”saidClara.“Hisfamilyissufferingsomuch.”“SodoI,”saidHarry.“Wereallyshoulddosomethingtoassistthem.”Forsomemoments,Johnsaidnothing,but,suddenly,hesprangtohisfeetandcried,“Ihaveagreatidea!Ihaveasolutionthatwecanallhelpaccomplish(完成).”Theotherchildrenalsojumpedupallattention.WhenJohnhadanidea,itwassuretobeagoodone.I’lltellyouwhatwecando,”saidJohn.“YouknowthatbigboxofcomUncleJohnsentus?Well,wecanmakepopcorn(爆米花),andputitintopaperbags,andBernardcantakeitaroundtothehousesandsellit.”——2020山東高考讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)setting(when,where)Theme(mainidea+writingpurpose)

characters(who)

plot（what,how,why)Whatmakesastory?Whatmakesagreatstory?vivid&properdescriptionsStoryelements7Readforthetheme.（確定主題）

Readfortheplot.（定位線索）Outlinethepossibleplotsoreventsineachparagraph.（構(gòu)思續(xù)寫(xiě)情節(jié)，搭建結(jié)構(gòu)支架）Writingbasedontheoutlineandusingsentencepatterns.（運(yùn)用用句型模板，落筆成文）StepsforcontinuationwritingStep1Step2Step3Step48whowherewhenHowwhywhatbeginningMrs.Meredith&3childern(John,Harry,Clare)UncleJohnBernardWhentheeconomywasindeclineHelpBernard

thefamilysufferedsomuchasmallcommunityStep1Readforthetheme(mainidea+writingpurpose)ending9

Whentheeconomywasindecline,Mrs.Meredithandher3childrenhelpedlittleBernardwhowantedtohelphisparentsmakeendsmeetbysellingpopcorn.

mainidea

Toshowreaders:Thereisloveandkindnessinthesmallcommunity.writingpurposeTheme

Tip1:Mainideacoversthefollowingelements:who,when,where,what,whyandhow.Tip2:Writingpurposereferstowhattheauthorwantstoconveythroughthepassage.Tip3:Thecontentofcontinuationwritingmustbeconsistentwiththegivenstory'smainideaandwritingpurpose.10beginningClimaxendingPa1:BackgroundPa2:Mrs.Meredith'characterPa3&4:aboyinneed;amotherwantedtohelpPa5-8:ChildrenwantedtohelpDiscusshowtohelpContinuationPa1:ContinuationPa2:Tip4:Predicttheendingbasedontheplotandthetheme.(reasonabe)11Para1WhenMrs.MeredithheardofJohn'sidea,shethoughtitwasagoodone,too.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________Para2

Witheverythingready.Bernardstartedoutonhisnewbusiness.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

1.所續(xù)寫(xiě)的短文詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;2.續(xù)寫(xiě)部分分為兩段,每段的開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)已為你寫(xiě)好;Step3:Outlinethepossibleplotsoreventsineachparagraph.soldout&earnedmoneymadecontactwithBernard.Heagreedwiththeidea.theprocessofsellingpopcornmadepreparationsforpopcorn.BernardpreparedthepopcornTip5:Predicttheendingofpara.1basedonthetwogivensentences.12靈動(dòng)、恰當(dāng)?shù)膙./adj./adv.“with”的復(fù)合結(jié)構(gòu)非謂語(yǔ)；定從；強(qiáng)調(diào)，倒裝情感描寫(xiě)的表達(dá)Step4:Writingbasedontheoutlineandusingsentencepatterns.13Tip6:LanguagedatabasefordescribingfeelingsHispalmsweresweating;withaheavy/sinkingheart;His

throattightenedwithtension;Tearswelledupinhiseyes/blurredhiseyes.Hisfaceturnedredwithshyness.Hisfacelitup;lipscurvingintoasmile;Hiseyestwinkledwithjoy;Heopenedarmswithabroadsmile.

postivefeelings

negativefeelings

14

WhenMrs.MeredithheardofJohn’sidea，shethoughtitwasagoodone，too.

Delightedandexcited，theytookactionstofindthebigboxofcorn.Withthebigboxandthreechildren，Mrs.MeredithdrovetoBernardfamily.NosoonerhadtheyseenBernardthanJohncouldn'twaittosaytheidea.Tearsrollingdownhisface.Bernardfailedtoutteranywordstoconveyhisheartfeltthanks.Thentheymadeevery

endeavor

tomakepopcornwiththejointefforts.Therewasenoughpopcorntosell.What’smore，Mrs.Meredithpreparedbagstocarrypopcorn.

Witheverythingready，Bernardstartedoutonhisnewbusiness.

Bernardtookitaroundtothehousesandexpectedtosellmorepopcorntoearnmoremoney.Tiredashewas，Bernardwasexceedinglydelightedtoearnsomemoneyandhelphismother.Mrs.MeredithalsoboughtpopcorntosupportBernard.

Asenseofachievementcominginwaves.threechildrentookdelightinhelpingothersmeetthechallenges.WealwayshaveopportunitiestobecomeablessingforothersandweshoulddoourbesttohelpeachotherjustliketheMeredithfamily.Version1*關(guān)鍵點(diǎn)銜接*語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)和詞匯的豐富性：1.形容詞做狀語(yǔ)2.獨(dú)立主格3.不定式作定語(yǔ)4.as在虛擬語(yǔ)氣中的倒裝WhenMrs.MeredithheardofJohn’sidea，shethoughtitwasagoodone，too.

Thenextday,theystartedtomakepopcornwiththebigboxofcornUncleJohnsentthem.Theyputthedeliciouspopcornintopaperbags,whichwereornamentedwithcolorfulribbons.Then,theypaidavisittoBernard’shomewiththeirspecialgifts.JohnsgreatideadelightedBernardbeyondmeasure,forhenowcouldearnsomemoneyonhisowntosupporthisfamily.Hecouldn'thelpsheddingtearsofexcitementandgavetheMeredithfamilyabigembrace,expressinghisheartfeltgratitude.Witheverythingready，Bernardstartedoutonhisnewbusiness.Hewaved.peddled,tookthepopcornaroundthehousesandsoldit.Betterstill,thesmartJohnputforwardanexcellentideathattheyshouldsetupastand,whichcouldattractmorecustomers.Thoughmanyofthepeoplelivinginthecommunitywereimpoverished,theystillboughtsomepopcorntohelpBernard.ItwasBernard’spureloveforhisparentsandotherpeople'skindnessthatassistedBernard’sfamilyactually.Itisinevitabletoencounterhardship,butloveiswhatsupportslifeforever.Version2：

*關(guān)鍵點(diǎn)銜接*語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)和詞匯的豐富性1.非限制性定語(yǔ)從句2.原因狀語(yǔ)從句3.現(xiàn)在分詞做伴隨狀語(yǔ)4.同位語(yǔ)從句5讓步狀語(yǔ)從句6現(xiàn)在分詞作定語(yǔ)7強(qiáng)調(diào)句8表語(yǔ)從句基于“評(píng)分原則”之外的美好1IIIIIIV高級(jí)句型（非謂語(yǔ)，三大從句，強(qiáng)調(diào)，倒裝等）和高級(jí)詞匯是博人眼球的高光點(diǎn)；續(xù)寫(xiě)結(jié)尾有升華主題的句子為好，該句子不一定是名言警句；續(xù)寫(xiě)部分與原文寫(xiě)作風(fēng)格一致，句式相同的語(yǔ)料。比如本文故事是按照時(shí)間順序來(lái)發(fā)展的。所以續(xù)寫(xiě)部分有時(shí)間狀語(yǔ)從句或表明時(shí)間的狀語(yǔ)最好。回扣文中線索的是加分項(xiàng)。原文最后一句“Bernardcantakeita