社交課堂：12步克服羞澀和社交焦慮癥

1、Shynessandsocialanxietyareusuallytheresultofanoverlyexcitedamygdala(aportionofthebrainthatreceivesstimulationbasedonyoursurroundings).Individualswhoareshyorsociallyanxioustypicallyhaveanamygdalathatisextremelysensitive(inpartduetotheirgenetics,inpartduetothewaytheywereraised).害羞和社交焦慮癥通常都是杏仁核過度興奮造成的現(xiàn)

2、象，而杏仁核則是一種根據(jù)環(huán)境接收刺激的大腦組織。害羞或有社交焦慮癥的人，杏仁核一般都非常敏感一一這一方面跟基因有關(guān)，另一方面則歸因于他們的成長經(jīng)歷。Shyorsociallyanxiousindividualsperceiveunknownsituationsashighlythreatening.在害羞或社交焦慮的人看來，未知環(huán)境都是非常危險(xiǎn)的。ThisfeelingofbeingthreatenedIIweibdrioeficialifyouwerebeingchasedbyalion;causingyourmindtofocussolelyonwhatiscriticaltosaveyo

3、urlife.However,yourmindgoingblankIIapartyorwhenyourbosswalksinyourofficeisnotverybeneficial.當(dāng)你被一頭獅子追捕時(shí)，這種警惕感會十分有利，能讓你一門心思想方設(shè)法逃命。但是，在宴會上或老板走進(jìn)你辦公室時(shí)，如果你的大腦還是會片空白I那就不好了。Sowiththat,letsdiscuss12waystoovercomeshynessandsocialanxiety.所以，我們來看看下面這12個(gè)克服害羞和社交焦慮癥的方法吧。12StepstoOvercomingShynessandSocialAnxiety12

4、步克服羞澀和社交焦慮癥：RealityCheck認(rèn)清事實(shí)Stepnumberoneistorecognizewhatistakingplacechemicallyinyourbrainwhenyourefeelinganxiousor第h一步就是要弄清楚當(dāng)你感到緊張或害羞時(shí)，大腦會發(fā)生怎樣的化學(xué)變化。Youarenotabnormal;yourbrainisjustunusuallyIIsensitivetonewstimuli,causingyoutoproceedwithextremecautionusuallyunnecessarycaution.IJustknowingthiswill

5、helpyourationalizewhatsgoingonandwillhelprelaxyouinfuturesituations.你沒有不正常I只不過你的大腦對新刺激格外敏感罷了，以至于你表現(xiàn)得特別謹(jǐn)慎一一一般都是些V必要的謹(jǐn)慎I認(rèn)識到這一點(diǎn)有助于你理性面對正在發(fā)生的事情，進(jìn)而在以后環(huán)境中做到自如放松。Noneedtobecomeshyoranxious,justtellyourselfthatitsjustsomechemicalsandcellsreactingbasedonaperceivedthreatthatnotreallytherenoneedtopanic(ignoret

6、heracingheartandsweatypalms)justcalmdownandproceedintelligently.沒必要害羞或焦慮，你只要告訴自己：這些不過是假想危險(xiǎn)引發(fā)的化學(xué)與細(xì)胞反應(yīng)罷了。也沒必要驚慌，別去管那加速的心跳和冒汗的手心，嘗試鎮(zhèn)靜下來并機(jī)智應(yīng)對。DontPonderonNegativeThoughts不要陷入消極思維Whenyougiveapresentation-theresalwaysthreepresentationsinvolved:Theresthepresentationyouplannedongiving,theresthepresentationy

7、ouactuallygave,andthentherepresentationyouwishyougave.如果你要作報(bào)告，那么報(bào)告無非就三種形式：你正在發(fā)布的報(bào)告、你已經(jīng)發(fā)布的報(bào)告，以及你打算發(fā)布的報(bào)告。Whenyoufocusonwhatyoucouldhavedonebetter,whenyoufocusonthenegative,youcreateacycleofnegativity.Afteryouleaveameeting,oradinnerparty,orasocialgathering,dontpondehowyoucouldhavebeenbetter.IIDontthink

8、,WhydidIsaytha當(dāng)你一味想著本可以做得更好時(shí)，當(dāng)你只看到消極方面時(shí)，你就會形成消極循環(huán)模式。所以，會議、派對或集會結(jié)束后，請不要糾結(jié)自己本可以表現(xiàn)得I出色I(xiàn)也不要懊惱U才我干嘛要那樣說？IEveryonesayssomethingfoolishfromtime-to-time,however,focusingonnegativitywillleadyoutobelievethatyouareapersonwhosaysthewrongthingsatsocialgatherings;thatbeliefwillmanifestitselfeverytime.Recognizetha

9、teveryonesayssomethingfoolishfromtime-to-time;dontponder,move每個(gè)人難免都會說些蠢話，如果你只看到消極面，漸漸就會真的以為自己在社交時(shí)只會說錯話；而且，這種想法每次都會應(yīng)驗(yàn)。請記住：每個(gè)人偶爾都會說些蠢話。所以，不要糾結(jié)，該干啥就干啥去吧。NoPressure不要有壓力Dontfeelpressuretobeinteresting,entertaining,ortalkative.Justbeyournormal-naturalself.Itsthepressuretobelikesomeoneelsethatenhancessoci

10、alanxietyandshyness.不要為了表現(xiàn)得風(fēng)趣、討人喜歡或健談而感到緊張不安。做回你平常的樣子就行。模仿別人的壓力會加劇社交焦慮感和羞澀。Youhavesurvivedparticipatinginconversationsyourentirelife.Yournextconversationinagroupisjustonemoreconversationyouarenotrequiredtobethelifeoftheparty.Justbeyourselfandspeakyourmindwhenyouhavesomethingtosay-andifyoudonthaveany

11、thingtosay-nopressure;chilloutIIand你這輩子一直就是在與人談話中成長過來的。接下來在小組中的發(fā)言實(shí)質(zhì)上也是談話而已你又不一定非得成為派對的活躍分子啊。你只要做好自己，有話就說、無話則沉默；不要緊張，放松點(diǎn)吧。DontAssume別去假想Dontassumethatpeoplearejudgingyou.Mostpeopleareprimarilyconcernedaboutthemselvesandhowtheycomeacross;theydonthavetimetobeconsumedbyyourbehavior.Rememberthis,ifyoudon

12、trememberanythingelseinthisarticle:Everyoneisawkwardattimes!別去假想其他人怎么看你。多數(shù)人通常只會考慮自身和自己的遭遇，沒人有時(shí)間來關(guān)心你如何如何。要是這篇文章沒能給你留下什么印象，那么請記住這句話：有時(shí)每個(gè)人都很難相處！Whenhavingconversations,everysinglepersonatonetimeoranotherdoesorsayssomethingthatsalittleawkward.Dontfeelthatawkwardsituationsorstrangesilencesareyourfaultalo

13、ne.Doncreditforallthenegativesinaconversation.Awkwardthingswillhappen,therewillbesilences,thatsokay;itsperfectlynormal,dthinkitsnotandkeeponbeingyourseyfourbestself.交談時(shí)，每個(gè)人間或都會說出難堪的話來。不要一廂情愿地以為是你造成了這種尷尬的處境或別扭的沉默。不要把談話的失敗全都怪罪到自己身上。尷尬時(shí)常發(fā)生，沉默也總是出現(xiàn)，沒什么大不了的；這很正常，不要少見多怪做好你自己就行啦。DontPanicPause不要慌張稍作停頓There

14、snoneedtopanicinsocialsituations.Ifsomeoneasksyouaquestion,justpause.Thinkaboutthequestionandthenansweritappropriately.Mostsociallyanxiousorshyindividualsreacttoquestions.Theyfeeltheneedtoansweraquestionimmediately,assoonasthefinalwordleavesthemouthoftheotherperson;theyfeelobligatedtostartspeaking-n

15、otnecessary.社交場合無需慌張。要是有人向你發(fā)問，那就先停頓一下，想清楚后再恰當(dāng)回答對方。大部分社交焦慮或害羞的人總是立刻回答問題。他們覺得只要對方話剛說完，就該作出回答；他們認(rèn)為談話是一種義務(wù)11其實(shí)完全沒必要這樣。Youneverwanttoreacttoaquestion;youalwayswanttorespond,afteryoupause.你不需要立即回應(yīng)提問，你只需在停頓之后回答提問。Whenyoudothis,youwillsoundmorethoughtful,moreinsightful,youreaboutandyouwillhavegivenmoredelib

16、eratethoughttowhattosay.Youwillappeartohaveexecutive當(dāng)res這樣e故時(shí),II你聽上去會更有想法和見解，你的想法會顯得更成熟、更具執(zhí)行力Theneedtorespondrightawayshowsthatapersonisntcomfortablewithsilenee.ItsusuallytheleastpowerfulIIpconversationwhodoesntwanttheretobesilence,butsilenceisokay.Itshowsthatyouarecomfortableinyourskin.立即回應(yīng)則顯得一個(gè)人不習(xí)

17、慣沉默。通常，談話中最沒有氣場的人也最不習(xí)慣沉默，其實(shí)沉默也沒什么。它說明你能夠做到悠然自若。Solearntopause,neverpanic!Gatheryourthoughts,avoidsayingumIandanswerlikethneteilligentpersonthatyouare.所以，學(xué)會停頓，不要慌張！整理好思緒，改掉嗯啊I像機(jī)智的人那樣去回答問題吧。BodyLanguage肢體語言Yourphysiologywilldetermineyourpsychology.你的生理能決定你的心理。Avoidhavingthebodylanguageofsomeonewhoissh

18、yand/ortimid.Donthaunchoverandtryntotbeseen.不要染上害羞或膽怯的人的肢體語言。不要縮手縮腳躲起來。Standtall,shouldersback.Peoplewillbelievethebodylanguageyouportraymorethanthewordsyousay!Ifyoulooktimid,peoplewillbelieveyouaretimidandwilltreatyoulikeatimidperson.請挺直腰板。你的肢體語言遠(yuǎn)比口頭言談更有信服力！如果你看上去就很羞怯，人們也會這么認(rèn)為，接著就會把你當(dāng)作羞怯的人對待。Tobeseenasaleader,walklikeapresident.Takeupspacelikeyoureaking.Putyourfeetonthedesk,makelargehandgestures,standtall.Ifyoupossessthebodylanguageofaleader,peop