中考優(yōu)秀英語作文評析

1、Good is good, but better carries it.精益求精，善益求善。中考優(yōu)秀英語作文評析中考優(yōu)秀英語作文評析中考優(yōu)秀英語作文評析（一）記敘文 1【習作要求】根據(jù)中文意思和英文提示詞語，寫出意思連貫，符合邏輯的英文文段。所給英文提示詞語必須都用上；每組英文提示所寫的句數(shù)不限。 彼得只有五歲，和他的祖母住在一起。一天他的祖母得了重感冒，彼得急得直哭，后來他 (1) Peter, five (2) live, grandma (3) have, cold, worried, cry (4) idea, find, parents' telephone number,

2、call (5) news, hurry, home, hospital 【參考范文】 Peter is only five (years old). He lives with his grandma. One day his grandma had a cold. Peter was so worried that he began to cry. Then he had an idea. He found his parents' telephone number and gave them a call. When his parents heard the news, the

3、y hurried back home and took Peter's grandma to the hospital. 【名師點評】 根據(jù)中英文提示可理清需要進行表達的大致情節(jié)是：彼得只有五歲，他和他的祖母住在一起，一天他的祖母得了重感冒，他急得直哭。后來有了一個主意，他找到了他父母的電話號碼，他打電話給了他們，當他的父母得知這一消息后迅速地趕回家，把祖母送進醫(yī)院。須注意前面介紹的是一般情況用一般現(xiàn)在時，后面敘述的是過去發(fā)生的事用一般過去時。動詞的運用及動詞的時態(tài)是在進行書面表達時尤其要注意的。（一）記敘文 2【習作要求】請根據(jù)下面所給李玲的個人小檔案，以My good frien

4、d為題，寫一篇英語短文，介紹李玲的基本情況。要求條理清楚，語句通順，體現(xiàn)表中的全部內容，不得少于12句話。 中文名：李玲 英文名：Susan 性別：女 年齡：15 祖籍：青海 學校：第八中學 年級：三 班級：二 特長：數(shù)學、英語 愛好：唱歌、看電視、打排球 優(yōu)點：友好，善良，樂于助人，學習努力 【參考范文】 My Good Friend I have a good friend. Her Chinese name is Li Ling, and Susan is her English name. She is from Qinghai. Li Ling is fifteen years ol

5、d. She studies in No. 8 Middle School. She is in Class Two, Grade Three. Li Ling is good at maths and English. She likes singing and playing volleyball very much. And she sings quite well. She likes watching TV, too. Li Ling is very kind and friendly. She studies very hard and always likes helping o

6、thers. What a good girl she is! I like her! 【名師點評】 這是一篇記敘文，內容要交待清楚、全面，要注意中英文的表達習慣，如漢語中年級在前，班級在后，而英語正相反；首尾句要格外留意，要保持短文的完整性。 (1) 格式：人物介紹 (2) 人稱：第三人稱 (3) 時態(tài)：一般現(xiàn)在時 (4) 短語：have a good friend, English name, to be from, No. 8 Middle School, in Class Two, Grade Three, to be good at, like singing and playing

7、, sing well, like watching TV, study hard, what a good girl (5) 句型：陳述句與感嘆句（一）記敘文3【習作要求】根據(jù)中文意思和英文提示詞語，寫出意思連貫、符合邏輯的英文文段。所給的英文提示詞語必須都用上，句數(shù)不限；中文提示內容不必逐句翻譯。 一個雨天，李莉乘出租車回家。在車里她發(fā)現(xiàn)司機在學英語。他對李莉說了些什么? 此事對你學習英語有何啟發(fā)? 為支持北京奧運你打算做些什么? (1) one rainy day, go home, by taxi (2) in the car, find, was learning English (

8、3) said to Li Li, I, weak, English, when at school, now work hard, to help with the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games (4) I think. to show support （n.支持）for the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games 【參考范文】 One rainy day, Li Li went home by taxi. In the car she found (that) the driver was learning English. He said to

9、Li Li: "I was weak in English when I was at school. Now I'm working hard at it to help with the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games." I think I should learn from the driver. English is very important to us because it is widely used all over the world. As a student, I'll do my best to learn

10、English well at school. And I'm going to speak English as much as possible to show support for the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games. 【名師點評】 第一句很重要，以便確定全文時態(tài)。句與句之間要連貫。關鍵句要用上，如：I'm going to speak English as much as possible to show support for the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games. (1) 格式：簡介 (2) 人稱：第三人稱 (3)

11、 時態(tài)：一般現(xiàn)在時，一般過去時，一般將來時 (4) 短語、句式、句型：短語與句式已給出，句型包括簡單句、直接引語、賓語從句（二）應用文 1【習作要求】假如你的名字叫王磊，你有一位美國朋友杰克(Jack)今年暑假要到西安來參觀，你寫信告訴他，你住在西安市南大街65號，從火車站乘10路公共汽車到歷史博物館下車。到時你將在車站等他。此信寫于2004年5月1日。 注意： (1) 數(shù)不得少于50個。 (2) 求意思完整，語句連貫。 【參考范文】 Xi'an, China May 1st, 2004 Dear Jack: I'm very glad to hear that you'

12、;ll come to visit Xi'an this summer holiday. Now I would like to tell you how to get to my house. I live at 65 the South Street, Xi'an. When you arrive in Xi'an by train (or by plane), you can catch (take) the No. 10 bus and get off at the History Museum. I'll wait for you there. You

13、rs, Wang Lei 【名師點評】 完成這道書面表達題應從以下幾個方面著手考慮： 首先，這道題屬于書信文件，所以應注意書信的正確格式。其次從提示的內容來看，主要是說王磊的一位美國朋友杰克于暑假要來西安參觀，王磊寫信告訴他行走的路線及到時在車站等他等細節(jié)，應采用一般現(xiàn)在時和將來時態(tài)來敘述。最后，同學們應結合所給的主要內容，用所學過的詞（組）及句型來完成此文。 參觀 visit 今年暑假 this summer holiday 想要 would like to do到達 get to/arrive at/reach 乘坐公共汽車 catch/take a bus 下車 get off 等等。

14、（二）應用文 2【習作要求】假如你叫Han Meimei，你的筆友Mary現(xiàn)在上海三中學習。她邀請你去參加聚會。請你用英語給Mary寫一封信。信的要點如下： (1) 你很抱歉，不能去。 (2) 你母親病了，醫(yī)生叫她臥床幾日。你要照料母親。 (3) 謝謝寄來的漂亮的明信片(postcard)，很喜歡，將放在書桌上。 注意： (1) 信要通順、連貫。 (2) 詞數(shù)60字左右。信的開頭和結尾已為你寫好，不計入總詞數(shù)。 (3) 如寫不下，可寫在橫線下空白處。 No.3 Middle School Shanghai April 20, 2004 Dear Mary, Thank you very muc

15、h for inviting (邀請) me to your party. _ _ _ _Give my best wishes to your family. Yours, Han Meimei 【參考范文】 No.3 Middle School Shanghai April 20, 2004 Dear Mary, Thank you very much for inviting me to your party. I am very sorry, but I cant come. My mother is ill. The doctor has told her that she shou

16、ld stay in bed for several days. Ill take care of my mother. Thank you very much for sending me such a beautiful postcard. I like it very much. I am going to put it on my desk. Could I hear from you soon? Give my best wishes to your family. Yours, Han Meimei 【名師點評】 利用所學英語知識和題目所給材料寫一封英文信。通讀全文，可較詳細地列出

17、要點： (1) 你很抱歉，不能去 (2) 原因是母親生病了 (3) 醫(yī)生囑其臥床幾日 (4) 你必須照料母親 (5) 謝謝寄來的明信片，很喜歡 (6) 明信片放在桌上 要注意的是：內容要點不遺漏；時態(tài)、語態(tài)正確；句子結構正確；符合英文信的格式；單詞拼寫正確；語句通順，上下文連貫；字數(shù)在60左右。 通過以上分析，再著手開始寫，一定會寫出一封符合題意要求的英文信來。 （二）應用文 3【習作要求】 Miss Jo Hunt和Lily是好朋友。Lily給Jo寫信，告訴她自己和雙胞胎妹妹在中國學習和生活的情況，并詢問對方的漢語學習情況及是否能來中國。 要求：寫一篇100詞左右的信。 【學生習作】 Mar

18、ch 5th，2004Dear Jo: How are you? I havent heard of you for a long time. Id like tell you something about our school life in China. Now we are students of No.4 Middle School. Were in the same grade, Grade Two, but in different class . Im in Class 1, but Lucy is in Class 4. We go to school five days a

19、 week. Every morning, we leave home after a quick breakfast. Classes begin at eight oclock in the morning. We have four classes in the morning and three classes in the afternoon. We have lunch at school because we all like Chinese food very much. Our favorite food is dumplings. School is over at abo

20、ut 3 in the afternoon. After school we have sports on the playground. We have made friends with a lot of Chinese children. We teach them English and they teach our Chinese. Now we can speak and write a little in Chinese. What about you? By the way, when are you coming to China? Please write to me so

21、on. Love from: Lily from，“收到某人的信”應為hear from。 to tell，正確的說法是“would like sb. to do sth.” classes，既然在不同班級，應該用復數(shù)形式。 both，all表示三者以上的人或物，both表示二者。 us，此處應用賓格形式。 【名師點評】 本文從句子結構到語言能力的表達都很不錯。思路清晰，行文流暢。正確地運用了動詞時態(tài)，但是大小寫及動詞搭配還要多加練習。（三）看圖作文1【習作要求】看圖寫話 根據(jù)所給圖示，以“Wang Lei's Busy Day”為題，寫一篇不少于50字的短文，內容必須符合圖意，語意連

22、貫，句式規(guī)范，字跡工整。（正文第一句已給出） Wang Lei's Busy Day      It was March 8th yesterday._ _ _ 【參考范文】 It was March 8th yesterday. It was Women's Day. Wang Lei wanted to do something for his mother. He went shopping and bought much food. Then he cleaned the room. He did his best to do s

23、ome cooking. When his mother came back after work, she was very happy. Wang Lei was very tired, but he felt pleased. （58個詞） 【名師點評】 先“看準題意”：題目是Wang Lei's Busy Day。寫作要圍繞王雷一天中所忙碌的事情的順序展開。描述昨天的事應該用過去時。從題意理解中即可“規(guī)范格式”：本文用記敘文格式去寫。再“按點組句”： （1）3月8日為婦女節(jié)。It was Womens Day. （2）王雷去商店購物。Wang Lei went shopping

24、 and bought much food. （3）王雷打掃衛(wèi)生。He cleaned the room. （4）他燒飯。母親回家很高興。He did the cooking. When his mother came back, she was very happy. 完成組句后，“連句成段”，可加上句子間的銜接句子。如在（1）與（2）之間可加上Wang Lei wanted to do something for his mother.在最后可再談王雷一天的感受：He was very tired, but he felt happy.把這些句子連成段后，最后“通篇潤色”。 （三）看圖作文

25、2【習作要求】看圖組句 根據(jù)所給圖畫和提示詞語，寫出意思連貫、符合邏輯的四句話。每幅圖只寫一句話，所給提示詞語必須都用上。（注意：只抄提示語不得分） 提示： （1）It was Tree Planting Day yesterday. （2）early, morning, I, go, in my old clothes. （3）we, help, each other, dig, hole, large enough, for, trees. （4）plant, some, along, school, playground. （5）from now on, water, tree, oft

26、en, possible. （三）看圖作文3【習作要求】看圖作文 根據(jù)圖示，寫一篇80詞左右的短文。要求故事完整，句子通順，內容與圖片相符。 參考詞匯：newspaper (報紙)，bird (鳥)，nature (自然) 【參考范文】 One day my uncle was reading a newspaper and learned that birds were our friends. We should get alone well with them. He looked at his nice bird in the cage, and decided to let it f

27、ly back homenature. He took the cage with the bird in it and went to a little hill near his house by bike. He went home with the empty cage. When he got back, he sat in a chair and had a rest. A moment later, to his surprise, he found the bird back in the cage. 【名師點評】 分析：該例四幅圖畫描述的是一位先生保護動物的故事，內容貼近考生

28、的生活實際，有利于對考生進行保護生態(tài)平衡、保護地球環(huán)境的教育。內容要點是： （1）看報（Let Birds Fly）；（2）上山去放飛籠中鳥； （3）提著空籠返家； （4）驚奇地發(fā)現(xiàn)鳥兒重飛回籠。 通過觀圖、分析、判斷，列出了要點，可寫草稿，再進行潤色，注意運用簡單的、熟悉的句型結構，檢查要點有無遺漏，注意拼寫、詞匯、語法及搭配上是否有誤。 說明：看圖作文是從直觀入手，通過觀察、分析、理解，運用聯(lián)想，將圖畫語言轉換成書面文字的寫作過程。答題的思路和方法如下：首先，觀察圖畫，弄清故事梗概。仔細觀察每幅圖畫的內容，抓住圖中的主要情節(jié)，把握關鍵的信息與聯(lián)系，諸如人物、時間、地點、動作等。其次，明確信

29、息，編擬提綱。經(jīng)過認真的觀察和分析，我們掌握了每幅圖的主要信息。為了在表達中不漏要點，可為每幅圖配上一個提綱性的句子，即用一句話表達這幅畫的大意，這幾句話實際上就是短文的寫作提綱。有了提綱，我們在寫作過程中就能做到重點突出，有條理，不會離題。再次，依據(jù)圖示、提綱，連句擴寫成篇。連句成文時，要按照一定的順序和圖畫間的關系，中間加上一些符合邏輯關系的過渡詞、句，從而使所寫短文層次分明，內容連貫，渾然一體。同時注意盡可能運用簡單易懂、自己熟悉的有把握的句型結構。最后，結合要求與圖示，復查所寫短文。寫完短文后要檢查格式、篇幅是否符合要求，文理是否通順，要點有無遺漏，詞匯、語法、搭配上是否有誤，單詞拼寫

30、有無錯誤等。 （四）提示作文1【習作要求】馬虎搞到兩張全興隊對國安隊的足球比賽入場券。他電話通知好友趙華洋，約他放學后在新華公園門口碰頭，一起吃晚飯，然后去看球賽。二人在飯店美美吃了一頓，到付賬時馬虎才發(fā)現(xiàn)自己把錢夾忘在了家里，入場券也在他的錢夾中。 【學生習作】 Ma Hu got two tickets of (1) a wonderful football match between Quanxing and Guoan. He was thinking of invite (2) his good friend Zhao Huayang to watch it together. He

31、 gave him a call and told him to meet at the gate of Xinhua Park after class and then had dinner (3) together. They met each other on time and had good dinner (4) in a restaurant. When the waiter brought them the bill. Ma Hu found that he left (5) his wallet at home. The two tickets kept (6) in the

32、wallet, too.（1）of在這里不是表示所有關系，所以應把of改成for，表示“用途”。 （2）動詞invite在介詞of的后面，應把它變?yōu)閕ng形式。 （3）連詞and連接的應該是兩個并列的動詞不定式，所以應把had改為to have。 （4）這里注意dinner前面有形容詞修飾時，那么應在形容詞前面加a。 （5）應把left改成had left。因為到“發(fā)現(xiàn)”時為止前面的動作已經(jīng)完成，要用過去完成時態(tài)。 （6）此處是被動語態(tài)，應加上were?！久麕燑c評】 這是一篇根據(jù)漢語提示寫作的作文，也是中考題中常常采用的一種寫作方式。寫作中要求要點齊全，時態(tài)準確，短語、句型運用較為恰當即可得高

33、分。本文要點齊全，較好地體現(xiàn)了寫作要求。只是文中細小錯誤較多，這會影響獲取高分。（四）提示作文2【習作要求】以“My Mother”為題，寫一篇120字左右的短文。需包括以下要點： (1) 媽媽的身材不高，稍胖，圓臉，長發(fā)。 (2) 媽媽是家庭主婦，每天起床很早，為全家人做飯。 (3) 早飯前做些家務，飯后送孩子上學。雖然她沒有很多錢，卻常給我們買好衣服和學習用品。 (4) 媽媽晚上睡得晚，她總有很多活要做。 (5) 媽媽勤勞，我愛媽媽。 【學生習作】 My Mother My mother is not tall and short (1). She is a little fat. She

34、 has a round face and long hairs (2).My mother is a housewife. She is very busy every day. She get to(3) up very early every morning. She gets up at about five thirty. After that she begins to cook for the family. Before breakfast, she does some housework. After breakfast, she sends our children (4)

35、 to school. She always tells us study hard (5). She has not many (6) money, but she often buys us some nice clothes and school things. My mother goes to bed very late every night. She always has a lot of work to be done. (7) My mother is hard-working. I love her very much. （1）如果說“她中等身材”，應該說： She is

36、of medium height.（2）hair是不可數(shù)名詞，不能用復數(shù)形式。 （3）改為gets。主語是第三人稱單數(shù)時，動詞也應變?yōu)橄鄳娜龁涡问健?（4）此處“我們孩子”是同位詞組，“我們”與“孩子”之間是同位關系，應將其改成：us children。（5）這里應使用動詞不定式，即tell us to do something。 （6）money 為不可數(shù)名詞，前面應用much修飾，而不能用many。 （7）這里的動詞不定式to do的邏輯主語是she，它們之間是主動關系，所以動詞不定式應用主動形式?！久麕燑c評】 作者以細膩的筆法描寫了一位勤勞而又善良的母親，全文充滿了對母親的感激之情，語

37、言流暢，表達生動，很有教育意義。小作者文中存在如第2處第6處等名詞方面的錯誤，以及第5處、第7處等動詞不定式方面的錯誤，小作者寫完之后要是能夠認真檢查，多修改幾遍，這些錯誤是可以避免的。（四）提示作文3【習作要求】你校與加拿大某中學結成姊妹學校，加方校刊來信了解你校的課外活動情況及你們的建議，請你根據(jù)下面表格中提供的內容用英語寫一篇80詞左右的短文。文章的開頭已給出（不計入總詞數(shù)） 生詞：興趣小組 interest group英語角 English corner活動 activity (n.) 活動時間450 p.m550p.m主要內容 1體育類（籃球、足球等） 2興趣小組（繪畫、歌舞、電腦等

38、） 3英語角（周三下午） 建議 1增加課外活動時間 2減少作業(yè)量 I'd like to tell you something about the out-of class activities in our school. 【參考范文】 We usually have our activities from 450550 in the afternoon. We have different kinds of activities. Some students are interested in sports. They play basketball and football. W

39、e also have some interest groups, such as drawing, singing and dancing. And now, computer is the most popular. On Wednesday afternoon we go to English corner. We like talking in English there. We hope we can spend more time on such activities and less time on homework. 【名師點評】 根據(jù)題目要求。這是一篇說明性質的書面表達，要介

40、紹的是課外活動的時間、內容及自己的建議。首先要做到的是細讀表格，明確要點。在行文時要注意表達舉行課外活動要用have activities，表達起止時間要用from. to，在表達這三種主要活動內容時，為使行文流暢，最好加進we have different kinds of activities（我們舉行不同種類的課外活動）這樣一句話。緊接著要過渡到說明體育類（籃球、足球），如果表達出“有些學生從事體育活動（have sports）”或“有些學生熱衷于（are interested in.）”就較好。至于說打籃球、踢足球較容易表達出來，可以直接表達They play basketball a

41、nd football，也可以表達成Basketball and football are the most popular. 要表達“興趣小組”時，注意用提示詞interest groups，要表達興趣小組的三種內容，最好用例如（such as.），三種內容作為名詞來表達時要注意用動名詞形式（drawing, singing, dancing）。在表達英語角時注意用提示詞English corner，“在周三”注意用介詞on。在表達“建議”時，用自己熟悉的詞hope，要表達“增加時間”，“減少量”，此時要注意到同一意義可有不同的表達方式，如轉換成“在課外活動上多花時間”“在作業(yè)上少花點時間”

42、的表達形式，與原意保持一致且與自己所學內容較貼近而不大容易出錯，“在方面花時間”注意用短語 spend.on。 提示的要點往往是非常簡略的，要使行文流暢、自然，需適當加進一些話，另外當不能直接表達出需要表達的意義時，要考慮用自己熟悉的又不會改變意義的另一種表達形式，須知同一意義可以有很多種的表達方式。（五）自由作文1【習作要求】Write eight or more sentences about the season you like best. 內容要點 1四個季節(jié)中任選一個季節(jié)。 2被選季節(jié)的特點（氣候、時間、事物、活動等）。 3人們在此季節(jié)所從事的活動。 4作者自己喜愛的活動和感受?！?/p>

43、參考范文】 I like winter best. Though it is very cold, it is good for skating. I often go skating on Sundays with my father. When it snows, everything turns white. Trees and houses are covered with thick snow. How beautiful the world looks! My friends and I like to make snowmen. Sometimes we make snowbal

44、ls and throw them at each other. That's a very interesting game. I like winter holiday very much because the Spring Festival is the happiest time of the year. 【名師點評】 這是一篇描寫季節(jié)的文章，文章難度一般。要求從自己的角度描寫季節(jié)和感受季節(jié)。應注意以下幾個問題： (1)確定全文的時態(tài)。此文一般選用一般現(xiàn)在時。 (2)除了對季節(jié)的描述，一定要有自己的見解，這是得分的重要內容和關鍵所在。 作者用流暢的語言描述了冬天的景色。全文意

45、思表達清楚，結構緊密。（五）自由作文2【習作要求】Write about what you are going to do after you leave school. 【參考范文】 When I finish school, I want to be a teacher. Though teachers are poorly paid and they have no power, teachers are kind, respectable and learned, like angels. They lead the pathway to succeed. It's quite

46、 sure that teachers are very important in modern world. We can't develop our country without knowledge. Teachers teach us knowledge. I like all of my teachers in my school. I would like to be an English teacher. It's very important for the students to learn English well today. I'll try my best to be an ideal teacher. My students can make our country better in the future. 【名師點評】 這是一篇闡述觀點的議論文，作者用簡潔而流暢的語言表達了長大后想成為一名老師的愿望。論據(jù)充分，觀點明確，并且字里行間滲透了對祖國的無比熱愛之情和把祖國建設更加美好的決心。（五）自由作文3【習作要求】請以My.為題寫一篇短文。要求：有時間、地點、人物，字數(shù)不少于80個單詞。 【學生習作】 My Mothers BirthdayMy mother is busy. She always busy w