教學(xué)要旨編織奇想

1、task c-2 story continuationlesson planconductor: niu ruiyingdate: april 20, 2009class: class 07, 2007purpose: students will learn how to to create fictional plotshow to use description + narration + dialogues + simile + metaphor in writinghow to write in plain and succinct english languageobjective:

2、 students will be able to master further techniques of writing descriptions, narrations and dialoguesmaterials / resources:1. the course book “write to learn”2. ppt slides3. handouts in classactivities and procedures:1. review techniques of narrative writing and descriptive writing.2. talk about dia

3、logue writing refer to pp. 182-183 of the course book.3. talk about figures of speech refer to pp. 60-61 of the course book.4. students read the input reading article “chon” by themselves and try to answer some cued questions.5. students exchange their ideas about the article by following the cued q

4、uestions.6. the class analyze the article together, especially focusing on narration, description, dialogues, metaphors and similes, and characteristics of the language. 7. draw students attention to some expressions of the article.8. assign new writing task a cotinuation to chon.9. students do brai

5、nstorming and write a very brief continuation to the story.10. students read each others continuation, give comments and correct language errors.11. read some students continuations to the class and give comments.for teachers reference:task c-2story continuation 教學(xué)要旨：編織奇想話題范文：chon (the first part)學(xué)生

6、佳作賞析：(1) a continuation to chon (2) a continuation to chon小筆吧：擬人化 煉句技巧：同義珠璣課外練筆：a real book迄今為止，同學(xué)們還停留在模擬范文的階段，從本任務(wù)起，想慢慢地把大家引向自由創(chuàng)作。下面提供的不是一篇完整的范文，而只是一篇小說的開頭，情節(jié)離奇，留給學(xué)生很大的想象空間。所設(shè)計(jì)的任務(wù)是續(xù)寫，把這個(gè)開頭發(fā)展成一篇完整的故事。閱讀范文:chonsometimes mary hated living so far from work. out here, the buses ran only once an hour. so

7、metimes they didnt come at all. mary looked at her watch. today the bus was already fifteen minutes late. “maybe i just wont go to work today,” mary said to herself. but she knew she didnt mean it. she couldnt afford to miss work not with two children to feed. since her divorce, it took every penny

8、she made just to scrape by. thats why she and the children had moved to the country. rents were cheaper out there. mary watched the birds flying in the distance. a cool breeze blew. she put on the thin old sweater she had been carrying. she watched the sunlight dancing in the leafy trees. it was goi

9、ng to be another lovely day. she wished she could spend the day outside. she wanted to be as free as the birds in the sky. mary sighed. it was hard to work all day at the restaurant and then come home to housework late at night. and late buses didnt make her long days any easier. as mary watched, on

10、e of the birds seemed to be dropping out of the sky. only it didnt exactly look like a bird. somehow it looked more like an airplane. mary watched as it slowly floated toward her. “how strange!” she said to herself. “planes never fly over this part of the country. the airport is 50 miles away.” as t

11、he thing came closer, mary saw that it wasnt a plane either. it looked like a flying lizard! the surface of the lizard ship was covered with shiny green scales. its wings shone in the morning sun! mary was frozen with fear. she knew that there was no place to hide. she prayed that the thing in front

12、 of her would go away. but the ship landed right on the road in front of her. it was making a low humming sound. mary still couldnt move. then she heard a high-pitched sound above the low hum. it was a door opening under the body of the lizard ship. out came a long ramp. the ship continued to hum as

13、 the ramp reached the ground in front of mary. mary hid her face in her hands. her whole body was shaking. next she heard a hissing sound, like gas escaping from a pipe. then all was quiet. mary opened her eyes and peeked through her fingers. she couldnt believe what she saw. a woman in a gleaming s

14、ilver bodysuit was standing a few feet in front of her. she carried a small box and smiled softly. “are you chon?” mary heard. “what?” mary asked. “are you chon?” the question came again. mary stared. the womans lips had not moved! the words had just appeared in marys head, like thoughts. “i have gi

15、fts for chon,” the woman said. she opened the box she was holding. suddenly the air around her seemed to glow with yellow light. “what is it?” mary asked. “it is gold for chon.” “but i am not chon,” mary said. “my name is mary. who are you? and where do you come from?” the woman from the lizard ship

16、 said nothing. she closed the box and walked back up the ramp. the door opened and closed with a hiss. mary heard the low humming sound again as the ship lifted and disappeared. mary started to run. she wanted to tell someone anyone about what had happened. but there was no one at home. her children

17、 were at school. a man in a station wagon drove by. mary waved at him to stop. but he didnt understand. he smiled and waved back, but he didnt stop. the country road was quiet again. mary walked back toward the bus stop. when the bus came, she could tell the driver. but would he believe her? would a

18、nyone believe her? then mary heard the low hum again. she looked up and saw another lizard ship. only this one was blue as blue as the ocean. its scales sparkled in the morning sun. mary watched and waited. it landed. again the door opened with a hissing sound. again a woman dressed in silver came d

19、own the ramp. this woman, too, was holding a box and smiling softly. “i have gifts for chon,” mary heard. the woman opened the box. this time a cool, white light filled the air. “what is it?” mary asked. “diamonds,” the woman answered. “diamonds for chon.” “but my name is mary,” mary said. the woman

20、 smiled and closed the box. “these are for chon.” in a few seconds she, too, was gone. mary was beside herself. no one was going to believe her story. anyone she told would think that she was crazy. mary began walking slowly toward her house. the bus passed and the driver honked, but mary waved to h

21、im to keep going. work could wait. something else was on her mind now. after a few minutes on the road, mary again heard the sound she had been waiting for. the sound of the familiar, low hum got louder. mary looked up. this lizard ship made the other two look small. its huge wings shaded the open f

22、ield around her. its giant red scales glinted in the sun. this time when the ship landed, two women dressed in shiny silver suits made their way down the ramp. mary watched them come forward. she was no longer afraid. “who are you?” mary heard the women ask. mary looked at the boxes they were carryi

23、ng. she thought of the other two boxes, filled with gold and diamonds. “my name is chon,” mary answered. by bernard jackson and susie quintanilla評(píng)析：上面的范文作為小說的開頭部分，構(gòu)思精巧，營造了科幻的神奇氣氛，可以當(dāng)作一篇結(jié)構(gòu)完整的微型小說來讀。這一選段以尋找“chon”為主線，以mary為主角，通過mary屢次遇到贈(zèng)送珍貴禮物給“chon”的飛船來展開故事，情節(jié)雖然簡單，但布下重重懸念：誰是“chon”？為什么送給“chon”各種珍貴的禮物？送禮

24、物的人又是誰，來自何方？而遇到這些離奇事情的mary又正好生活艱辛、經(jīng)濟(jì)拮據(jù)，在兩次否認(rèn)之后，在經(jīng)歷了驚訝、害怕、激動(dòng)之后，她平靜下來，到第三次遇到飛船時(shí)，她改以肯定的回答，冒充自己是“chon”。選段到此結(jié)束，故事嘎然而止，這個(gè)“結(jié)尾”設(shè)下了新的懸念，留下了豐富的想象空間，為后續(xù)情節(jié)做了鋪陳。如果把這個(gè)選段當(dāng)作微型小說來讀，這樣的結(jié)尾就是精妙之處，既出人意料又折射人性，扣人心弦又意味深長，任由讀者想象后面將會(huì)發(fā)生的故事，耐人尋味。本文在風(fēng)格上語言樸實(shí)，多用短句，行文簡潔，節(jié)奏明快，注重刻畫心理，離奇的情節(jié)卻包裹在樸素真實(shí)的生活場景和氣息中。這篇范文篇幅不長，情節(jié)并不曲折，內(nèi)容也不怪異，卻以重

25、重懸念引人入勝，可見寫作中發(fā)揮想象力編織奇想能帶給讀者高級(jí)的情節(jié)趣味和藝術(shù)魅力，給讀者以震撼與思考。寫作者缺乏想象力如同鳥兒沒有翅膀，無法振臂高飛，無法領(lǐng)略更廣闊的天地。接下去，就要由同學(xué)們自己展開想象的雙翼，把小說的情節(jié)推向縱深，同時(shí)賦予作品更發(fā)人深省的意義。suggested writing taskwrite a continuation of at least 500 words for this incomplete story with both your imagination and your knowledge. try to imitate its language sty

26、le, and to be creative. 學(xué)生佳作賞析：青年學(xué)生的想象力是非常豐富的，往屆許多學(xué)生的續(xù)寫都相當(dāng)成功，下面就來欣賞其中兩篇，還有不少特色各異的佳作選登在我們的課程網(wǎng)站上，歡迎點(diǎn)擊。（1） a continuation to chon 廣外大05級(jí) 鄧麗君the two women came closer to mary, smiling softly. they opened the two boxes and in a minute the air around shone with yellow and white light. inside were gold and

27、 diamonds.“gold and diamonds for chon.” the two women said when they handed the boxes to mary. mary stared at the fortune in her own hands with tears in her eyes. she suddenly became wordless because of happiness and surprise. before mary could respond, the two women disappeared together with the li

28、zard ship.mary looked around: no one saw what had happened. she ran home as quickly as possible. “im rich now. i do not need that tiring work and stupid bus any more. i can buy my own car, have my own servants, and spend the lovely days outside whenever i want.” mary said to herself. however, her ex

29、citement lasted only for a while when a sense of worry filled her mind.what would other people think about her windfalls? they might suspect her of stealing or other misdeeds. what if some robbers ended her life in order to grab her wealth? the more mary imagined, the more scared she felt. finally s

30、he decided to hide the gold and diamonds underground for a moment. mary went out to work again. she wanted to pretend as if everything remained the same, though she became quite alert to her surroundings. after a few minutes, a similar humming sound drew near towards mary from the sky. she stood sti

31、ll, grinning. a lizard ship landed and out came a woman dressed in shiny silver suit.“who are you?” the woman asked, smiling.“my name is chon.” mary replied.“jade for chon.” the woman opened a box and handed it to mary and disappeared.marys face was shone with green light given off from the box. she

32、 was too amazed at the invaluable stone to notice that another lizard ship had already descended near her. when mary looked up, a woman in silver was standing in front of her with a smile on her face.“who are you?” she asked.“eri am chonchon.” mary faltered.“pearls for chon.” the woman said as she o

33、pened a box.this time, before mary had time to appreciate the treasure from the sea, one lizard ship appeared after another. the sky above mary was shadowed by the huge wings and she felt the ground shake as a result of the loud humming. though shocked, mary could still answer their questions mechan

34、ically and received all kinds of treasures from those similar women dressed in shiny silver bodysuits.the lizard ships were gone and it became quiet again. mary was left there alone, gape mouthed. she shook her head and then ran home rapidly, holding the treasures in her arms.she shut the door and l

35、eaned upon it, feeling out of breath. was it a dream? how could she sell them for money without raising peoples doubts? would her children be kidnapped when the baddy got to know her large amount of wealth? mary was now not happy at all.she went to the window for some fresh air. it was noon already.

36、 the birds were resting in the trees to escape the hot sun. the breeze was dry. all of a sudden, mary caught sight of the same lizard ship landing not far from her house again. she ran out immediately. but this time it did not come for her. she saw a woman in silver with a box in her hand. “who are

37、you?” the woman asked a young lady. “my name is mary.” the lady answered.“l(fā)ove for mary.” the woman opened the box. an angel slowly flew out from it in a soft white light.“stop it!” the lady shouted, “i am not mary! stop giving me those useless happiness, kindness, or love. why dont you send me some

38、 gold or diamonds?”at that moment, how much mary wished she herself were mary! 點(diǎn)評(píng)：這篇續(xù)寫習(xí)作篇幅不長，構(gòu)思卻很獨(dú)特，沒有去設(shè)想女主人公mary會(huì)干些什么，而是延續(xù)和重復(fù)了范文中的情節(jié)，讓mary不斷遇到飛船并以“chon”的身份無數(shù)次得到珍寶。本文的閃亮之處是結(jié)尾部分，經(jīng)過前面mary不斷遇到與得到的重復(fù)，加重她擔(dān)憂與疲倦的心理的鋪墊，最后富裕但并不快樂的她發(fā)現(xiàn)飛船不但給“chon”禮物，也給“mary”禮物，而且那些才是她最需要，最期望的不是財(cái)寶，而是“幸?！保叭蚀取焙汀皭邸?。可是，她自己冒名頂替了別人，也

39、有人冒名頂替了她，她再想當(dāng)回“mary”已不可能了。這樣的構(gòu)思勝在于單一重復(fù)的情節(jié)后面設(shè)置了出人意料的結(jié)局，諷刺意味濃郁，使主題意外深化，引起讀者對(duì)生活的深思，這種意味深長的結(jié)尾無疑與范文有異曲同工之妙，而且可以與范文融成一體?？苹弥皇峭庖拢⒉徽宫F(xiàn)神奇，而是揭示現(xiàn)實(shí)生活的真諦，這是作者的高明之處。本文的另一優(yōu)點(diǎn)是寫作風(fēng)格保持了與范文的相近，語言樸實(shí)，多用短句，行文簡潔，節(jié)奏明快，注重心理描寫。好的續(xù)寫作品除了保持情節(jié)的延續(xù)還要求風(fēng)格的統(tǒng)一，這篇習(xí)作基本做到了。（2） a continuation to chon99級(jí) 朱慜the women smiled. “you are chon?” m

40、ary heard one of them ask again. “yyes,” mary hesitated for one or two seconds and answered. suddenly she felt afraid. she was lying, and lying made her feel guilty. but the gold and diamondsshe needed them. “here is our gift for you, chon.” the other woman said, “take one.” “what?” mary was a littl

41、e bit confused. “whats wrong with you? you know the rules. hurry up! we wont stay long here.” “i, i am sorry but, but i am not quite sure about the rules, uh” “i see,” the woman said softly and patiently. “well, both of them are for you, but you can choose only one now. you will get the other onelat

42、er. now take one.” mary thought for a while. she didnt know which one to take. the gold and diamonds were still in her mind, and she hoped there would be something more precious in the box she was to choose. anyway, more thinking wouldnt help. mary chose the box held by the woman standing on her lef

43、t. the two women were smiling as before, and seemed to be indifferent to her choice. mary took the box, and immediately felt a little disappointed. it was quite light, and a box full of gold or diamonds should not be that light.with shaking hands mary opened the box. there was a check in the box. be

44、side it was a small black gadget, looking like a pager or a small remote controller. “wow”mary said to herself. “a check may be better.” she took the check out of the box and studied it carefully. she didnt believe her eyes. the amount was one million dollars! mary bit her upper lip slightly. it hur

45、t .she was not dreaming. after counting the six zeros following the number “1”, she wasnt disappointed any longer. “the check is cashable,” mary heard a womans voice again, “and we hope you will like this gift” “oh, i like it very much!” mary thought. “in three years, if you want to see us or still

46、want the other box，” the woman continued, “switch on the ae caller and come here to wait for us.” “three years?” mary looked at the gadget and asked, “i cant use it in three years from now on?” “no.” with no more words, the two women turned around and walked back to the lizard ship. the door opened

47、and closed with a hiss. mary heard the low humming sound again as the ship lifted and disappeared. marys life changed. being a millionaire was different. anyway, one million dollars was not a small sum of money. mary and her children moved back to the city. she bought a large house for her family. r

48、enting would not be a problem any longer. the old clothes had also become part of the history. mary threw away nearly all her old clothes but kept the thin old sweater she wore on that morning. for some unspeakable reason she wanted to keep the sweater. “at least it is a memento.” she said to hersel

49、f. she flew to paris and brought back several suitcases of latest fashion clothes. wearing them was a dream for any ordinary woman in the world.marys new house was decorated beautifully. the furniture was made in italy. the vases were airlifted from china. the wooden floor was designed in germany. t

50、here were new sets of electrical household appliances, and mary didnt even need to think about the old days when she had to do housework late at night. a new car was of course necessary, wasnt it? who would like to take those late buses? mary chose a new lincoln for herself. “i am using some money f

51、rom sky from et or something.” she shook her head and said, “it is ridiculous.” the children now had their own rooms to live and play in. they had personal computers and a piano. a private teacher came to the house twice a week to help the children with their studies. mary was planning to transfer t

52、he children to a better school. her former husband had broken her heart and the two children were her treasures now. she loved them and was willing to offer anything good and comfortable to them. and she did, with the money from another planet. everything seemed to have become so much better now. bu

53、t mary felt something uncomfortable. she felt she was leading a life devoid of meaning. she was not so used to an easy life with everything provided. every morning when she opened her eyes, she asked herself, “what could i do today?” and she never gave herself a satisfactory answer. for once or twic

54、e she wanted to find a job, but she was not well trained and the jobs that fitted her were those humble ones such as being a waitress at a restaurant. mary hesitated. how could she take up those jobs again, as a millionaire? she also thought about going to take some training course, but that would b

55、e tiring. she would rather lie on the soft long couch and listen to some music than sit in a classroom every night, learning accounting or typing. the comfortable life had taken away the strong will and perseverance from her. by the way, she was not a millionaire now. she had spent so much of the mo

56、ney and there was less and less left. without any stable income, her money was decreasing day after day. crisis was near. time passed quickly. eventually one day mary found that she had used up the one million dollars. it wasnt surprising, was it? although one million dollars was a large sum of mone

57、y, if you spent it in this way, it would go rapidly. crisis did come.each time when mary thought about her financial situation, she wanted to find a new job. each time she wanted to find a new job, she would look around her comfortable home and then hesitated. mary wasnt what she had been one year b

58、efore. mary had also thought about asking the aliens for help. for many times she took out the black gadget they called it ae caller and tried to switch it on. however, it didnt work. “there must be something like a timer in it.” mary thought, “three years i still have two years to go” mary began to sell her property. the chinese vases were valuable b