讀后續(xù)寫生命之水學(xué)案 高三英語二輪專題

讀后續(xù)寫原題目：TheWaterofLifeItwasoneofthehottestdaysofthedryseason,Wehadnotseenraininalmostamonth.Thecropsweredying.Cowshadstoppedgivingmilk.Thecreeksandstreamswerelonggonebackintotheearth.Itwasadryseasonthatwouldbankruptseveralfarmersbeforeitwasthrough.Everyday,myhusbandandhisbrotherswouldgoaboutthetiringprocessoftryingtogetwatertothefarm.Ifwedidn'tseesomerainsoon,wewouldloseeverything.ItwasonthisdaythatIlearnedthetruelessonofsharingandwitnessedtheonlymiracleIhaveseenwithmyowneves.IwasinthekitchenmakinglunchformyhusbandandhisbrotherswhenIsawmysix-year-oldson,Billywalkingtowardthewoods.Hewasn'twalkingwiththeusualcarefreeabandonofayouthbutwithaseriouspurpose.couldonlyseehisback.Hewasobviouslywalkingwithagreatefforttryingtobeasstillaspossible.Minutesafterhedisappearedintothewoods,hecamerunningoutagaintowardthehouse.Iwentbacktomakesandwiches,thinkingthatwhatevertaskhehadbeendoingwascompleted.Momentslater,however,hewasonceagainwalkinginthatslowpurposefulstridetowardthewoods.Thisactivitywentonforoveranhourwalkingcarefullytothewoods,andthenrunningbacktothehouse.Finally,mycuriositygotthebestofme.Icreptoutofthehouseandfollowedhimonhisjourney.Hewascuppingbothhandsinfrontofhimashewalked,verycarefulnottospillthewaterheheld.Maybetwoorthreetablespoonswereheldinhistinyhands.Isneakedcloserashewentintothewoods.Branchesandthornsslappedhislittlefacebuthedidnottrytoavoidthem.Hehadamuchgreaterpurpose.AsIleanedintospyonhim.sawanamazingsight.Amotherdeerwithahugepairofdeerhornsappearedinfrontofhim,withababyfawn(多)lyingonthedryground.Ialmostscreamedtogethimaway.Paragraph1However,Billywalkedrightuptothem.Paragraph2witnessedthemostbeautifulheartworkinghardtosavealife主要內(nèi)容旱季最炎熱的日子里，已經(jīng)將近一個(gè)月沒下過一滴雨了。莊稼枯萎，河流干涸，幾個(gè)農(nóng)場(chǎng)甚至面臨破產(chǎn)的困境。這一天，我在廚房里忙活的時(shí)候看見六歲的兒子比利從家到森林來來回回奔走了一個(gè)多小時(shí)。去的時(shí)候走得小心翼翼，回來的時(shí)候大步奔跑。好奇之下，我偷偷跟在他的身后想看看他究竟在干什么。結(jié)果發(fā)現(xiàn)他雙手窩成杯狀捧了幾勺水前往森林。森林里出現(xiàn)了一只母鹿，頂著一對(duì)巨大的角，還有一只幼鹿躺在地上。我?guī)缀躞@叫起來。然而，比利徑直向它們走去。會(huì)發(fā)生什么事呢？文本特點(diǎn)：這是一個(gè)有標(biāo)題的故事：生命之水。故事的前半部分為續(xù)寫提供了相當(dāng)多的線索：缺少雨水的現(xiàn)狀、一只快要渴死的幼鹿、這一天里見證了一次真正的分享和一個(gè)奇跡的發(fā)生。所有這一些都暗示了續(xù)寫的兩個(gè)片段要圍繞“分享”和“奇跡”來講述“這一天”里發(fā)生的事。結(jié)合標(biāo)題“生命之水”，這個(gè)奇跡必然與水有關(guān)。設(shè)計(jì)理念：本節(jié)課基于學(xué)生在寫作中體現(xiàn)出來的一個(gè)突出問題：缺乏文本分析的意識(shí)。在比利救了小鹿后天降甘霖的情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)富有很大的魔幻現(xiàn)實(shí)主義特點(diǎn)，導(dǎo)致學(xué)生不敢想、不敢寫，不明白需要構(gòu)建什么樣的情節(jié)；寫作的許多細(xì)節(jié)與主題關(guān)聯(lián)不大，甚至與上文沖突、無法連貫。希望從語篇分析的角度，引導(dǎo)學(xué)生關(guān)注原文、解讀原文，了解如何利用上下文構(gòu)建合理的情節(jié)，實(shí)現(xiàn)邏輯連貫和提高語言的準(zhǔn)確性。Background/ConflictDying:cowsstopgivingmilkwouldbankrupt(使破產(chǎn))severalfarmerscreeksandstreamslonggonebackintotheearthCropsdryinglfwedidn'tseesomerainsoon,wewouldloseeverythingInfer:Therewasanurgentneedforrain!lt'sbettertosolvetheconflictwhendesigningtheplot主要人物：I（mother'sperspective）Billymotherdeerwithahugepairofdeerhorns(mightbeadangertotheboy）babyfawnlyingonthedrygroundmightbedyingofthirst)情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)：Para1:Didthemotherdeerhurthim?Whatwasthemotherdeer'sreaction?HowdidBillyfeedthebabyfawn?Whatdidthebabyfawndo?(standup/stilldyingofthirst)Para2:HowdidIfeelaboutthescene?WhatdidIdo?AppreciatetheuseofspecificverbsindescriptionHewasn'twalkingwiththeusualcarefreeabandonofayouthbutwithaseriouspurpose.Minutesafterhedisappearedintothewoods,hecamerunningoutagaintowardthehouse.Icrept(躡手躡腳地走)outofthehouseandfollowedhimonhisjourney.Hewascupping(窩成杯狀)bothhandsinfrontofhimashewalked,verycarefulnottospillthewaterheheld.sneaked(crept)closerashewentintothewoods.Ialmostscreamedtogethimaway.It'sbettertofollowthelanguagestyle.DescribewhatIwitnessedvividlyHowdidBillyfeedthefawn?>Cautiously,Billycroucheddownbytheweakfawn,holdingthewaterinhiscuppedhandsandslowlysendingittoitsmouth.Anxiouslyyetgently,hekneltdownbesidethebabyfawn,carefullystretchedhisarms,andsentthetwoorthreetablespoonstoitsmouth.>Hecrouchedgingerlyinfrontofthefawn,stretchingouthishandswiththewaterinthepalms.“Drinkit!”hemurmured.Whatdidthefawndo?>Thebabyfawnlifteditsheadslowlyanddrankthewaterinhistinyhands.>Thepoorcreature,apparentlyindesperateneedofwater,lickeditupquicklywithitsshell-pinktongue.>Thethirstyfawndrankthewatergreedily,andmuchtomysurprise,thefeeblecreaturestruggledtoitsfeetslowly.Whatdidthemotherdeerdo?>Themotherdeerloweredherheadandlickedmyboy'scheekgently,asexpressinggratitude..參考范文Para1:However,Billywalkedrightuptothem.Cautiouslyhekneltdownbytheweakbabyfawn,seeminglyfamiliarwiththetwocreatures.Thefawnsufferingfromdehydrationandheatexhaustionlifteditsheadupwithgreateffortsandeagerlylappedupthewatercuppedinmybeautifulboy'shands.Themotherdeerstoodbyasifinguard.NotuntilthefawnlickedthelastdripofwaterdidBillymovealittlebit.Icontainedmyselfnottomakeaslightestsound,forfearofscaringthem.Iwitnessedthemostbeautifulheartworkinghardtosavealife.Withthewatergone,Billyjumpedtohisfeetandmetmysmilingeyes.Beforehetriedtoexplain,Istrodetohimandheldhimtight.Asthetear