32.動(dòng)作與行為的描寫方法

動(dòng)作與行為的描寫方法動(dòng)作行為描寫的作用及宏觀設(shè)計(jì)策略動(dòng)作描寫是對(duì)人物的動(dòng)作反應(yīng)、行為舉止進(jìn)行刻畫，進(jìn)而能夠揭示人物的性格、品質(zhì)、思想和身份地位。黑格爾對(duì)動(dòng)作描寫給予了極高的評(píng)價(jià)，他在《美學(xué)》里談到:“能把個(gè)人的性格、思想和目的最清楚地表現(xiàn)出來(lái)是動(dòng)作，人的最深刻方面只有通過(guò)動(dòng)作才能見(jiàn)諸現(xiàn)實(shí)?！比宋锏囊慌e一動(dòng)都受其思想和性格的制約，要讓人物動(dòng)作達(dá)到“以外寫內(nèi)”的效果，就要抓住人物的典型動(dòng)作反應(yīng)，讓角色“立起來(lái)”。動(dòng)作描寫分為單一動(dòng)作描寫、動(dòng)作群描寫和動(dòng)作細(xì)節(jié)描寫。三者在人物動(dòng)作的選擇和刻畫上各有不同，對(duì)人物形象的塑造和性格、情感、思想的表現(xiàn)也有所區(qū)別，教師要引導(dǎo)學(xué)生抓住人物動(dòng)作刻畫的不同寫法思考其表達(dá)效果和作用。單一動(dòng)作描寫即是抓住角色的某一具體動(dòng)作進(jìn)行刻畫，這一動(dòng)作是人物角色的典型標(biāo)志之一，能集中反映出人物個(gè)性和特征，具有個(gè)性化和典型性特點(diǎn)。單一的動(dòng)作描寫是對(duì)人物動(dòng)作的高度提煉，要抓取具有突出人物特點(diǎn)的舉動(dòng)，讓讀者腦海中的人物形象更加鮮明，也讓人物的處境和性格更加突出。動(dòng)作群描寫，則是如影片一般截出角色的動(dòng)作片段，提煉多個(gè)動(dòng)詞，通過(guò)一連串的動(dòng)作將人物的動(dòng)作群濃墨重彩的描繪出來(lái)，人物行為更加真實(shí)、富有動(dòng)感，人物形象也更加飽滿。單一的動(dòng)作描寫能讓人物形象和個(gè)性更加突出，動(dòng)作群描寫能使人物在一系列動(dòng)作中形象逐漸生動(dòng)飽滿，通過(guò)動(dòng)作描寫達(dá)到“以外寫內(nèi)”的效果，正如老舍先生說(shuō)的:“要描寫一個(gè)人必須知道關(guān)于此人的一切，但不要作相面式的全寫在一起;我們需隨時(shí)用動(dòng)作表現(xiàn)出他來(lái)?！眲?dòng)作細(xì)節(jié)描寫是指抓住人物動(dòng)作上的細(xì)節(jié)加以凸顯描繪，細(xì)微的人物動(dòng)作不必典型獨(dú)特，但動(dòng)作的形成與情境中人物當(dāng)下的精神思想、情感態(tài)度息息相關(guān)，是人物內(nèi)在品性在外部動(dòng)作中自然流露，有的動(dòng)作細(xì)節(jié)只寥寥幾筆，卻能使人物畢肖傳神，增強(qiáng)人物表現(xiàn)的真實(shí)感和感染力。人物動(dòng)作細(xì)節(jié)既可以是單一具體的動(dòng)作，也可以是人物動(dòng)作群中的細(xì)微動(dòng)作變化。動(dòng)作細(xì)節(jié)描寫易于刻畫人物的真實(shí)感，但對(duì)于人物細(xì)節(jié)的抓取和分析，要置于文本特定的情境中，結(jié)合人物性格和故事情節(jié)挖掘其內(nèi)涵和作用，教師在教學(xué)中也要培養(yǎng)學(xué)生感知細(xì)節(jié)的意識(shí)，嘗試分析和運(yùn)用不同內(nèi)容的動(dòng)作細(xì)節(jié)刻畫增強(qiáng)語(yǔ)言表現(xiàn)力。動(dòng)作描寫一直是刻畫人物形象最重要的手段之一。作家萊辛說(shuō)：“主要的東西是讓人行動(dòng)起來(lái)，通過(guò)動(dòng)作顯示人物個(gè)性的特征?！笨梢?jiàn)，動(dòng)作描寫在塑造人物形象上起著多么重要的作用。怎樣才能把動(dòng)作寫細(xì)寫好呢？（1）以個(gè)性鮮明的動(dòng)作展示人物的性格：動(dòng)作描寫，尤其是凝聚人物個(gè)性的細(xì)微動(dòng)作，往往是個(gè)性化人物的特有標(biāo)志。在生活中，只要我們用心觀察，就會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)，不同性格的人動(dòng)作也不同。同樣是笑，內(nèi)向的人可能是紅著臉害羞地低頭笑；外向的人則可能笑得自然大方；淳樸的人笑得爽朗；狡猾的人笑得詭秘。只要我們?cè)谏钪杏眯陌l(fā)現(xiàn)人物身上特有的細(xì)微的舉止，寫作時(shí)把它寫進(jìn)文章中，那么所塑造的人物形象就會(huì)有血有肉、性格鮮明，形象栩栩如生。（2）用最準(zhǔn)確的動(dòng)作反映人物的內(nèi)心：法國(guó)作家福樓拜說(shuō)：“無(wú)論你所要講的是什么，真正適當(dāng)?shù)膭?dòng)詞和形容詞也只有一個(gè)，就是那最準(zhǔn)確的一句，最準(zhǔn)確的動(dòng)詞。（3）分解人物動(dòng)作，濃墨潑寫體現(xiàn)人物個(gè)性：動(dòng)作是無(wú)聲的語(yǔ)言，是人物個(gè)性的符號(hào)。在塑造人物時(shí)，動(dòng)作往往是一連串的。怎樣把一連串的動(dòng)作寫細(xì)、寫具體呢？我們采用“分解法”。先把一連串的動(dòng)作分解成若干個(gè)動(dòng)作，然后把每個(gè)動(dòng)作都作具體描寫，最后把每個(gè)動(dòng)作按一定的順序連起來(lái)。動(dòng)作行為描寫的微觀技巧▲英語(yǔ)讀后續(xù)寫試題寫作示例第二節(jié)讀后續(xù)寫（滿分25分）閱讀下面短文,根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫,使之構(gòu)成一個(gè)完整的故事。AGIFTFORGRANDPAThesummervacationwascoming.JackandhisbrotherBerlinwerefilledwithexcitementastheythoughtofvisitingtheirgrandparentsagain.Thebigdaycameatlast.Afterthehappyfamilygotready,theysetoutforthegrandparents’homeeagerly.Ontheway,thebrotherswereexcitedlytalkingaboutthefuntheyhadwiththeirgrandparents.Alittlebluehousewithatallwhitechimneyfinallyappeared.BehindthepropertywastheforestcarryingtheirgoodmemorieswithGrandpa.Theyarrivedatthedriveway,attheendofwhichGrandpawaswaitingforthemjoyfully.JackandBerlineachgaveGrandmaabighugandthenswepttothelivingroom,shoutingexcitedly“Grandpa,weareback!”Seeinghisgrandsons,Grandpawaswildwithjoyandtriedtogetupwithallhisstrengthfromthechairbutinvain.Ahelplessexpressionflashedacrosshisface.Grandmaexplainedthathishealthwasdecliningrapidlyandthathemaybecouldn’tstanduponhisownforever.ButGrandpadeclaredstubbornly(倔強(qiáng)地),“Ican!”Certainly,hewasstuckinhisboyishway.MumandGrandparentswerehappytomeetagainafteralongtime.Theysattogetherandchattedaboutwhathappenedrecently.Thebrothersweresoonboredwithadultconversation,wentoutandwanderedintotheforest.Talltreesstretcheduptotheheavenswithlargebranchescrossingeachother,whileyoungonesrosestraightlikesoldiers.Grandpawasonceagreatexplorerfullofwisdom.Hecouldtellwherethebirdscamefromonlybytheircallsandsongs.Thetrees,birds,lizards,lotsofbugs…HowmanymerrymomentstheyspentwithGrandpainthekingdom!ButnowGrandpacouldn’tgetup.Thismadethemworried.“Weneedtothinkoutawaytocheerhimup,”Jacksaid.“Grandpaisabirdlover,sowecancatchhimabird,”Berlinsuggested.“Buthehatesbirdsbeingcaged!”Jackshookhishead.ThenabrightideacametoJack’smind.“Whynotmakeacane(拐杖)outofayoungtree?!”注意：1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；2.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)已為你寫好；Paragraph1:Berlinthoughtitwasagoodidea.Paragraph2:JackandBerlinhandedthecanetoGrandpa.【試題信息】試卷名稱體裁主題語(yǔ)境詞數(shù)濰坊市2022年高考模擬試題記敘文人與社會(huì)正文英文詞數(shù)344，兩個(gè)詞給了中文提示，續(xù)寫第一段首句7個(gè)單詞，續(xù)寫第二段首句8個(gè)單詞?！菊Z(yǔ)篇分析】1.what（前文主旨）Jack和弟弟Berlin暑假期間去看望他們的爺爺奶奶。到那里后他們得知，爺爺因生病已經(jīng)無(wú)法起身。他的健康每況愈下，可能永遠(yuǎn)站不起來(lái)了。但爺爺堅(jiān)信自己能站起來(lái)。Jack和Berlin決定送爺爺一份禮物讓他開(kāi)心。Jack想抓一只鳥給爺爺，可是擔(dān)心爺爺不喜歡鳥兒被關(guān)在籠中。他又想到可以用樹(shù)棍給爺爺做一個(gè)拐杖。2.why（故事主題）關(guān)愛(ài)家人，直面挑戰(zhàn)，永不言棄。3.how（寫作技巧）第三人稱、記敘、描寫4.具體內(nèi)容（利用拉波夫敘事模式進(jìn)行分析）點(diǎn)題這篇文章自身有一個(gè)標(biāo)題，讀者通過(guò)標(biāo)題可以很清晰地獲取全文的主題Agiftforgrandpa。通過(guò)閱讀第一段可知，本章講述的是Jack和Berlin兩兄弟為爺爺準(zhǔn)備禮物的經(jīng)過(guò)和結(jié)果。指向本篇文章的指向就在前三段，時(shí)間是暑假的一天，地點(diǎn)就是在爺爺奶奶家,alittlebluehousewithatallwhitechimney，主要人物Jack和Berlin兩兄弟以及爺爺，次要人物是父母和奶奶。進(jìn)展本文的進(jìn)展是Jack和弟弟Berlin在得知爺爺因病無(wú)法站立后，想辦法制作一個(gè)禮物給爺爺，讓爺爺開(kāi)心，鼓勵(lì)爺爺樂(lè)觀地面對(duì)疾病和生活。。結(jié)果/結(jié)局結(jié)局部分是需要學(xué)生續(xù)寫的，通過(guò)文章的最后一句“Whynotmakeacane(拐杖)outofayoungtree?!”，再根據(jù)續(xù)寫第一段的首句“Berlinthoughtitwasagoodidea.”可知，兩兄弟就這一提議達(dá)成一致，開(kāi)始為爺爺制作拐杖。他們做了什么？他們選擇了怎樣的樹(shù)？如何制作的，做好了嗎？根據(jù)續(xù)寫第二段的首句“JackandBerlinhandedthecanetoGrandpa”可確定第二段的寫作思路——爺爺?shù)玫焦照群笙氲搅耸裁矗繝敔斈芊裼霉照日酒饋?lái)？大家的感覺(jué)怎樣？評(píng)議評(píng)議貫穿了材料全文。前四段中作者陸續(xù)用到excitement,eagerly,fun,joyfully,sweptto,shoutingexcitedly這些詞語(yǔ)來(lái)表現(xiàn)出兩兄弟對(duì)于爺爺?shù)南矏?ài)和依戀的情感。第四段中wildwithjoy也表現(xiàn)出了爺爺對(duì)兩兄弟感情的回應(yīng)。同時(shí)，面對(duì)自己的疾病，作者用了stubbornly,stuckinhisboyishway來(lái)展現(xiàn)爺爺不服輸?shù)膭蓬^，也順理成章地為兩兄弟制作拐杖幫助爺爺站起來(lái)埋下了伏筆?；貞?yīng)本文給出的材料部分并沒(méi)有與現(xiàn)實(shí)的回應(yīng)。學(xué)生在續(xù)寫的部分可以適當(dāng)?shù)丶尤牖貞?yīng)，不加也可。5.語(yǔ)言人物角色1：Jack性格：熱情，開(kāi)朗，聰明，細(xì)心行為：擁抱奶奶、沖進(jìn)客廳、大聲呼喚爺爺，拒絕抓鳥，提議制作拐杖心理：excited→eagerly→bored→merry角色2：Berlin性格：熱情，開(kāi)朗，樂(lè)于助人行為：擁抱奶奶、沖進(jìn)客廳、大聲呼喚爺爺、建議抓鳥心理：excited→eagerly→bored→merry角色3：Grandpa性格：堅(jiān)強(qiáng)，倔強(qiáng)行為：努力站起來(lái)心理：helpless→stubborn場(chǎng)景爺爺家與爺爺奶奶見(jiàn)面；小樹(shù)林里制作拐杖語(yǔ)言風(fēng)格語(yǔ)言風(fēng)格平實(shí)6.情節(jié)沖突：爺爺見(jiàn)到孫子很開(kāi)心想要站起來(lái)迎接，卻因病無(wú)法站立。行動(dòng)：兩兄弟開(kāi)始制作拐杖（續(xù)寫第一段）解決：兩兄弟將做好的拐杖送給爺爺，爺爺成功地站起來(lái)。（續(xù)寫第二段）

伏筆：第六段提到爺爺曾是一名優(yōu)秀的森林探險(xiǎn)家，為后文兩兄弟想到用樹(shù)枝制作拐杖埋下伏筆?！舅夭姆e累】Para4Sweeptothelivingroom沖進(jìn)客廳Para5Invain徒勞無(wú)功Hewasstuckinhisboyishway.他有點(diǎn)孩子氣了。（他像個(gè)孩子一樣執(zhí)拗起來(lái)。）Para6HowmanymerrymomentstheyspentwithGrandpainthekingdom!他們和爺爺在森林王國(guó)里度過(guò)了多少美好的時(shí)光啊！【參考范文】Berlinthoughtitwasagoodidea.Whenthetwobrothersreachedanagreement,theyquicklyranbacktotheirgrandparents’house,gotthetoolstheyneededtomakethecane,andranbacktothewoods.Jacksaid,“Whatkindoftreeshouldwepickforthewalkingstick?”Berlinthoughtforamomentandsaid,“Ithinkweshouldchooseastraighttree,sonoknotswillscratchGrandpa’shands.”Jacknoddedhisheadinagreement.Theyfoundastraighttreeandsettowork.Theycutthetreedown,andwithaknifetheytookthebarkoff.Itwasawonderfultree,whichwassmoothandwasjustoftherightsize(which引導(dǎo)非限制性定語(yǔ)從句).TheythoughtGrandpawouldloveit.JackandBerlinhandedthecanetoGrandpa.WhenGrandpatookthecane,hishandsshookwithjoy,thinking,“Thisismadebymygrandsonsthemselves.Howpreciousitis!”Jacksaid,“Grandpa,wehopethiscanewillhelpyoustandupandcomewithustoexplorethewoods.”Grandpasmiledanddecidedtogiveitatrysoasnottomakehisgrandchildrendisappointed.Heheldthecaneinhisrighthandandthearmofhischairinhislefthand.Hestoodupwithstrengthonhislegs(with復(fù)合結(jié)構(gòu)).EveryonewassurprisedandexcitedtoseeGrandpastandup.Atthatmoment,Jacknoticedatearcomingfromthecornerofhisgrandma’seye.▲英語(yǔ)讀后續(xù)寫動(dòng)作描寫微技能------以AGIFTFORGRANDPA的寫作為例（一）精挑細(xì)選恰當(dāng)動(dòng)詞學(xué)生在描寫中通常會(huì)陷入這樣的困頓，一直在使用通用詞匯，比如，一碰到“走”，學(xué)生就會(huì)寫“walk”，而不同的語(yǔ)境可能是“躡手躡腳”，可能是“搖搖晃晃”，可能是“偷偷地走”，也可能是“猛沖”，如果通用walk則不能形象表達(dá)不出人物此刻的動(dòng)作，傳遞不了人物此時(shí)的情感。因此學(xué)生在選用動(dòng)詞的時(shí)候，要仔細(xì)琢磨選擇恰當(dāng)?shù)膭?dòng)詞。以上面的這篇續(xù)寫為例，Jack和Berlin眾里尋他千棵樹(shù)，發(fā)現(xiàn)一顆合適的，于是乎我們可以用“沖過(guò)去dash/rush/stormto...”，兩人制作完拐杖回家的動(dòng)作也可以用這幾個(gè)詞，以此來(lái)表明兩人高興急迫的心理；回到家里走進(jìn)爺爺房間，可以用“躡手躡腳tiptoe”表達(dá)出兩人想給爺爺一個(gè)驚喜；爺爺拿到拐杖后站起來(lái)，我們可用“顫巍巍站起來(lái)staggertohisfeet”表現(xiàn)出借助拐杖的外力艱難站起來(lái)這一具體動(dòng)作。再以各種“看”舉例來(lái)說(shuō)，在“Anaughtyboy”一文中，Mark在課堂上搗亂被教師嘴上粘貼了膠帶，在描寫Mark此時(shí)對(duì)教師反應(yīng)時(shí)，我們可以用“偷偷地看peepat”，表現(xiàn)出此時(shí)他既調(diào)皮還有些許害怕的心態(tài)；而要描寫Mark對(duì)班里學(xué)生反應(yīng)時(shí)，可以用“交換了一下眼神exchangeaglancewith...”，說(shuō)明被懲罰后的Mark依然不遵守課堂紀(jì)律；如果要描寫教師看Mark的反應(yīng)時(shí)，我們可以用“瞥一眼glanceat”。（二）細(xì)致入微分解動(dòng)作一篇優(yōu)秀的續(xù)寫作文離不開(kāi)動(dòng)作描寫，需要一個(gè)微鏡頭一個(gè)微鏡頭地呈現(xiàn)出來(lái)，也就是一個(gè)畫面緊接著一個(gè)畫面來(lái)推動(dòng)故事情節(jié)的進(jìn)展，這就是說(shuō)要把一個(gè)總體的動(dòng)作分解開(kāi)，按照時(shí)間順序通過(guò)微小細(xì)致的動(dòng)作串聯(lián)起來(lái)，讓人物真正地動(dòng)起來(lái)，收獲滿滿的畫面感?！癆giftformygrandpa”一文中，如何用細(xì)微動(dòng)作刻畫出兩個(gè)人制作拐杖的過(guò)程呢？在腦海里想象動(dòng)作發(fā)生的先后順序，“找到—砍掉—移除—拋光”，將并列的動(dòng)作串聯(lián)，構(gòu)成了“ActionA，B，CandD”的結(jié)構(gòu)，也就是“Theysearchedforaproperyoungtree,cutitdown,tookoffitsbranchesandpolishedit.”，這樣一套完整的連貫動(dòng)作就完成了。在續(xù)寫第一段最后描寫兩個(gè)孩子迫不及待回到家把禮物送給爺爺?shù)膱?chǎng)景時(shí)，“悄悄進(jìn)入房間—靠近爺爺—伸出手”，英語(yǔ)表達(dá)為“Theycreptintograndpa'sroom,approachedhimandreachedouttheirhands.”，這幾個(gè)動(dòng)作接下來(lái)就和給出的第二段的第一句話，即兩個(gè)孩子遞給爺爺拐杖有效銜接上了，而且這里選用了具體動(dòng)作“躡手躡腳creep”，更能表現(xiàn)出兩個(gè)孩子既不想驚動(dòng)爺爺同時(shí)還想要給爺爺一個(gè)驚喜的心態(tài)。（三）情感飽滿刻畫人物劇情中的人物是一個(gè)個(gè)復(fù)雜的個(gè)體，具有豐富的思想，單憑幾個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單的動(dòng)作并不能讓其富有生命力，因此要想塑造出栩栩如生、有飽滿情感的人物，要求除了動(dòng)作描寫，還應(yīng)該結(jié)合語(yǔ)言、心理、環(huán)境等描寫來(lái)刻畫立體的人物形象?！癆giftformygrandpa”中我們已經(jīng)使用了一連串的動(dòng)作描寫，那么如何才能讓人物活靈活現(xiàn)呢？首先，先用副詞或介詞短語(yǔ)來(lái)修飾動(dòng)作。上面的句子我們加上合適的枝葉修飾成分，變化為，“Theysearchedforaproperyoungtreepatiently,cutitdownwithalltheirjointefforts,tookoffitsleaveswithcareandpolisheditattentively.”。通過(guò)“patiently”“withcare”“attentively”的修飾，表現(xiàn)出了兩個(gè)孩子耐心專心的性格，一定要為爺爺制作一條舒適的拐杖。其次，通過(guò)語(yǔ)言和心理描寫來(lái)配合人物的動(dòng)作描寫?！罢覙?shù)”這個(gè)動(dòng)作為例，“Suddenly,ayoungtreecameintoBerlin'sview.'Perfect!'Berlinpointedtothetreeandshoutedexcitedly,hiseyesshining.”。這個(gè)句子加上了Berlin的語(yǔ)言描寫，簡(jiǎn)簡(jiǎn)單單的一個(gè)單詞“Perfect!”就足以表明找了合適的樹(shù)，當(dāng)然我們也可以用“There!”或“Look!”；也加上了Berlin的心理描寫，“眼睛閃閃發(fā)光”來(lái)表現(xiàn)他此刻高興的心情。最后，用環(huán)境描寫烘托人物的動(dòng)作。對(duì)于“找樹(shù)”這個(gè)動(dòng)作，可以加上客觀環(huán)境描寫的句子，“ThesoftwindstirredleavesofatreeandblewthroughBerlin'shair.”，然后可以再加上主觀環(huán)境描寫，“ThentheyoungbutstraighttreekeptBerlinthrilled.'Thatisit!'hescreamedwithexcitement.”這樣，環(huán)境描寫更能烘托出Berlin抑制不住的激動(dòng)心理。（四）花樣表達(dá)豐富語(yǔ)言在續(xù)寫時(shí)，一系列的動(dòng)作并不一定都是按照時(shí)間先后發(fā)生的，有時(shí)需要以一個(gè)動(dòng)作為中心點(diǎn)，向上游或下游逐步擴(kuò)散，在中心動(dòng)作發(fā)生之前還有動(dòng)作先于此發(fā)生，此動(dòng)作之后也引發(fā)一連串的關(guān)聯(lián)動(dòng)作，或者中心動(dòng)作發(fā)生之時(shí)也伴隨著其他動(dòng)作的發(fā)生。綜此，我們需要變換句式，來(lái)凸顯中心動(dòng)作。首先，非謂語(yǔ)動(dòng)詞的使用。在“Toyairplane”一文中，爸爸無(wú)意間說(shuō)的一句話卻傷害了辛苦為他制作禮物的女兒Christy的心，描寫爸爸發(fā)現(xiàn)女兒傷心的動(dòng)作和心理，“Iturnedaround,onlytofindthatChristy'sinitialexcitementwasreplacedbydisappointment.”，此句結(jié)構(gòu)為“中心動(dòng)詞+onlytodo”，在中心動(dòng)作“轉(zhuǎn)身”發(fā)生時(shí)，使用todo表出乎意料的結(jié)果狀語(yǔ)，來(lái)說(shuō)明爸爸發(fā)現(xiàn)是自己說(shuō)錯(cuò)話惹女兒不開(kāi)心，前后矛盾更加突出。其次，狀語(yǔ)從句的運(yùn)用。when、while、as、before、after引導(dǎo)的時(shí)間狀語(yǔ)從句，可以表示動(dòng)作發(fā)生先后或同時(shí)發(fā)生的動(dòng)作，借助從句的襯托，以此來(lái)強(qiáng)調(diào)主句動(dòng)作的發(fā)生?！癆giftformygrandpa”一文中，爺爺看到孩子遞過(guò)來(lái)的拐杖后，立馬就明白發(fā)生了什么?？梢宰g為“Aftergrandpasawthedelicatecane,heknewwhathadhappened.”，這里用after引導(dǎo)的時(shí)間狀語(yǔ)從句，來(lái)說(shuō)明句子的中心動(dòng)作know是在看see之后發(fā)生的。再者，with復(fù)合結(jié)構(gòu)的添加?！癆giftformygrandpa”一文中，敘述爺爺拿到拐杖后站起來(lái)的動(dòng)作“Withthecaneinhishand,grandpacouldn'twaittostandup.”，用“with+賓語(yǔ)+介詞短語(yǔ)”結(jié)構(gòu)，突出了拐杖的輔助作用，爺爺是靠此站起來(lái)的。又如，“Withabirdintentionallycarvedonit，afashionablecanewasmadecompletely.”用“with+賓語(yǔ)+過(guò)去分詞”結(jié)構(gòu)表示伴隨動(dòng)作，中心動(dòng)作bemade是隨著小鳥的雕刻而完成的。（五）恰如其分運(yùn)用修辭恰當(dāng)修辭的運(yùn)用可以讓動(dòng)作描寫更加形象、生動(dòng)，人物更加鮮活，讓語(yǔ)言通俗易懂，突出語(yǔ)言的表達(dá)效果。首先，使用明喻，將具有共同點(diǎn)的兩個(gè)事物用like等詞聯(lián)系在一起。比如，“Withthehelpofthecane,grandpagotupstraightlikeasoldier.”，此句中用“l(fā)ikeasoldier”強(qiáng)調(diào)爺爺能站起來(lái)了，而且在拐杖的協(xié)助下能站立得像一位戰(zhàn)士一樣，突出兩個(gè)孩子親自制作的拐杖真的能派上用途。又如，“Istretchedmyarmslikewingsofthetoyairplane,andranaroundtheroomincircles,attractingotherchildrentojoinme.”，用比喻“l(fā)ikewings”說(shuō)明張開(kāi)手臂的目的就是為了擺出飛機(jī)的模樣，為后文孩子們的加入做了鋪墊。其次，使用暗喻，用一個(gè)事物比喻另一個(gè)事物，往往沒(méi)有比喻詞。比如，同樣是爺爺收到拐杖后的心理描寫，還可以這樣描述，“Atthesightofthehand-madecaneinperson,grandpafeltalumpinhisthroat,notknowingwhattosay.”，用喉嚨里似有腫塊，說(shuō)明爺爺一時(shí)間感動(dòng)地說(shuō)不出話來(lái)，嗓子像被堵塞了一樣。最后，使用夸張，可以表達(dá)出人物鮮明的態(tài)度，以此強(qiáng)調(diào)某個(gè)動(dòng)作。例如，“Christyrushedtoherroom,slammingthedoorviolently,leavingmefrozenthere.”，表達(dá)出父親沒(méi)有想到女兒反應(yīng)如此大，用夸張表達(dá)frozen，意識(shí)到自己的錯(cuò)誤，一下子不知所措，內(nèi)心也有點(diǎn)懊惱。拓展訓(xùn)練1．閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。Mostnights,therewasalightcomingfromthetinyislandontheothersideofthelake.Ialwaysthoughtthatwasstrangebecausesupposedly,noonelivedthereanymore.That’swhypeoplecalleditGhostIsland.Strangerstill,onenight,thelightflashed.“There’sthelightagain,”Isaidtomybrother,Dale.“Yeah,strange,”hesaid.“Takealook,Ben,”Dadsaid.Hehadsetuphistelescopetoviewtheplanets,butnowitwasaimedatGhostIsland.Ifoundthattherewasaspotlight(聚光燈).Dalelookedtooandguesseditwasatreebranch,blowingbackandforthinthewind.ThenIaskedDadwhatheknewaboutGhostIsland.“Mr.MorihasowneditsinceIwasakid.IrememberheonceservedintheCoastGuard.Andhemustbequiteoldbynow,”Dadsaid.“Heusedtospendsummersthere,butIwonderifhestillcomesupatall.”Thenextday,weplannedtogofishing.WealwaysgobeforesunupandIwassoworriedaboutoversleepingthatIwokeupextraearly.Dalewasalreadyontheboat.Ilookedacrossthelake,whichwassmoothasglass.“Huh,”Isaid.“There’sthelightagain.Onlythistimetherewasnowind,andtheflashesappearedinaspecificway.“It’sanSOSdistresssignal!”Isaidimmediately.Dalelaughed.“Morsecode(摩斯密碼)?Nooneusesthatoldthinganymore.”“No,watch,”Isaid.“Itgoesdot-dot-dot,dash-dash-dash,dot-dot-dot.That’sSOS.IlearneditatBoyScouts.IhadtosendandreceivemessagesusingMorsecode.”“Youguysaregoingtoscareallthefishaway!”Dadsaid.“What’sgoingon?”Itoldhimaboutthelightbutithadstopped.AndheadvisedustocheckifMr.Moriwasathiscabin(小木屋).HemightknowMorsecodeduetohisCoastGuardexperience.注意：1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;2.請(qǐng)按如下格式在相應(yīng)位置作答。Paragraph1:Daledoubtedifwe’dfindanyone,butwesetoutforGhostIsland.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Paragraph2:WevisitedMr.MoriseveraltimesafterhereturnedtoGhostIslandfromthehospital.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________2．閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。Asaneducator,IhavediscoveredthatthelifelessonsthatstudentsbringwiththemtoschoolaretheonesthatItrulyneedtolearn.Onestorythatdescribesthisawesomeresponsibilitystartswithasecondyearcollegestudent.Everyday,hewouldcomeintomymathclass,sitintheverybackandavoideyecontact.WhenIwouldasktheclassquestions,Icouldhearadeepvoicecomingfromhisdirectionsayingthecorrectanswereverysingletime.Iimmediatelybegantoinvestigateandfoundthathehadhighstandardizedtestscoresbuthisreportcardinschooldidnotmatchhisperformances.Iknewsomethinghadtochange.Throughourschoolmentoring(輔導(dǎo)制)program,Iaskedhimifhewouldliketobeapartofasupportteamthatwasspecificallydesignedtohelphimgraduateontimewithhisclassmates.Thisprogramrequiredmetovisitallofhisclassroomteachers,helphimcompleteeveryassignment,providehimwithmaterialstofinishprojects,andconstantlyremindhimthatsuccesscouldbeachievedifhestayedonthispath.Inhissenior,hewasabletomaketheHonorRoll(光榮榜).Thisstudenthadbeenlivingwithhisgreat-grandfatherinsteadoflivingwithhismotherandsixsiblings(姊妹).Theconceptoffamilyhadnotbeendemonstratedinhislife.However,atschool,thisprogramprovidedhimwithateamthatfocusedonhisacademicneedsaswellascelebratedhissuccesses.Theideaoffamily,wherehewascaredforandwasseenasimportant,wasabletobecomeareality.Unfortunately,duringhissenioryear,hisgreat-grandfatherpassedaway,whichterriblyinfluencedhisnewlypositiveviewoflife.Butbecauseofthebondthatwasestablishedoverthepasttwoyearsthroughtheprogram,Iwasabletokeephimfocusedonwhathecouldcontroltoachievehisgoal.Heshoweddeterminationandperseverance,andhebecameaseniorwithhisoriginalclassandhadtheopportunitytograduatewithhisfriends.注意：1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150個(gè)左右；2.請(qǐng)按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。Sadly,whengraduationdayapproached,herefusedtoattendtheceremony._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Icanstillrememberhissmilefaceashewalkedacrossthatstagetoreceivehisdiploma._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________3．閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。Iremembertheparkrangerssaying,“Whyareyougoingupthere?Thereisnowateronthetop,andyou’renotgoingtofindanyfrogs.”Isaid,“Well,I’mgoingtocheckitout.”TheEspinhacomountainrangeintheeastofBrazilisaveryspecialplace,andit’smostlyunknown.MyhouselooksontothemountaininPicodoItambestatepark,soIhavemybreakfastlookingatiteachmorning.You’resurroundedbythunderstormsandstrongwinds,andthehumidityishigh.Iwaitedforheavyrainsandwenttoclimbtothetop.Whathadcaughtmyeyewerethebromeliadplants,whichlooklikethetopofagiantpineapple.Eachplantcanholdupto2litresofwater,andinsidethereissomuchhappening.Larvae,beetles,allkindsofinvertebrate(無(wú)脊椎動(dòng)物)liveinthere—it'sawholeecosysteminatinyspace.Thecentralcupholdsloadsofrainwater,andIthoughttherecouldbesomefrogsusingthem.SureenoughIwasright.Andthisledmetodiscoveranewspeciesoffrog,whichIhavecommittedmylifetoprotecting.Thatday,IfoundafrogintheveryfirstbromeliadIlookedinside.Ithought,wow,I’veneverseensuchatinyfrog;itwasthesizeofmynail.Icouldn’tcatchit—theplantwascomplicatedinside.Ilookedinthenextbromeliadandtherewasanotherfrog.Theyallhadthemin.Isawabout20frogsthatnight,andcaughtthree.Itookthemtothemuseumforidentification,butcouldn’tfindamatch.Iendedupwalkingaroundwiththreelittlefrogsinmybagforayear,preservedinajar.Iwouldtakethemtomeetingswithme,andaskpeopleiftheyhadeverseenthembefore.注意：（1）續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；（2）請(qǐng)按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。Paragraph1:ThenImetanexpertwhotookonelookatthemandsaiditwasanewspecies.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Paragraph2:Duringmyresearch,partoftheareawherethesefrogslivewasdestroyedbyfire.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________4．閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。Mr.Wardcouldn’tstandstudentscheatingthemost.Whenevertherewasanexam,hewatchedveryclosely,makingsurenoactofcheatingwasneglected,andanystudentwhocheatedwouldbeseriouslypunished.Iremembermanytimesaftertests,Mr.Wardfoundthatthestudentssittingaroundmehadbetterscoresthantheothersandthefurtherawayastudentwasfromme,theworsehisgrade.Mr.Wardsuspectedthatsomeofthejuniors“accidentally”gotsomeofmyanswers.SoheandIhadaveryinterestingtalkaboutcheating.Mr.Wardoncetoldmeofsomeofthewaysstudentstriedtocheat.StudentAintentionally“dropped”hispencilanunusuallyfardistancefromhisdesk.Thenhestoodupandwalkedslowlyacrosstheroomtotakeitback.Ontheway,heglancedatthepapers.StudentBgotapieceofpaperandwrotedownalltheformulas(公式)onatinybitofpapertapedtotheinsideofthekid’spalm.Theseincidentsweren’tveryrare.Thelastdayoftheentireschoolyear,allIhadleftwasmymathexamandthereseemedtobesomedefinitetensionintheairbecausethiswasthebiggesttestoftheyear.Isawsomekidstryingtodosomelastminutestudying,sometryingtocalmthemselvesdownbybreathingslowlyandsomesayingasilentprayer.Mr.Wardwenttothefrontandstartedhandingoutthetestsbyrows.Afterexplainingtherulesofthetest,hesaidveryclearly,“Ifyoucheat,Iwilltakeyourtestandtearitup.Youwillgeta0forthebiggestgradeoftheyear.”Mr.WardmovedveryeffortlesslyandefficientlyabouttheroomandduringeverytesthewentintoasortofRADARmode.Hesatatthefrontandwatchedtheroomforanythingthatmightlooklikecheating.DuringthisRADARmode,ifyouwerecheating,youwouldbecaught.Guaranteed.注意：（1）續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150個(gè)左右；（2）請(qǐng)按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。Ourteststartedandweweresittingtherebusyworkingonourpapers._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ThenMr.Wardaskedthekidhewaswatchingtogotohisoffice._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________參考答案1．Paragraph1:Daledoubtedifwe’dfindanyone,butwesetoutforGhostIsland.Aswedrewcloser,theoldcampcameintoview,partiallyobscuredbypinetrees.Aftertyinguptothedock,wefollowedanovergrowntrailthatledtothecabin.“Hello?”Icalled.“Anybodyhome?”Avoicefrominsidemadeusjump.“Yes!Please,Ineedhelp!”Wepushedthedooropen.Anelderlymanlayonacouchwithonefootelevated.Heleanedbackandsighed.“Thankgoodness.”“Mr.Mori?”Dalesaid.Themannodded.“IwastakingapicturewhenIaccidentallydroppedmyphoneintothelakeandtwistedmyankle.”Frowning,helookedatthebadlyswollenjoint.DalecalledDad,whoarrivedshortlyafterwithtwomarinepatrolofficers.TheymovedMr.Moriontoaboatandtookhimacrossthelake,whereanambulancewaswaiting.

Paragraph2:WevisitedMr.MoriseveraltimesafterhereturnedtoGhostIslandfromthehospital.Itwasevidentthathehadfallenonhardtimes.Wehelpedhimwithrepairsandbroughthimgroceries.Healwaysthankedusforwhatwehaddone.Overtime,weformedabondwithhim.HeoftentoldusstoriesofhisadventuresintheCoastGuardandwewouldlistenwithraptattention.Mr.Mori’sislandnolongerseemedlikeaghostislandtous.Instead,itbecameaplaceofwarmthandfriendship,areminderthateveninthemostremoteplaces,humanitycanstillflourish.【導(dǎo)語(yǔ)】本文以人物為線索展開(kāi)，講述了作者發(fā)現(xiàn)大多數(shù)夜晚，都有燈光從湖的另一邊那個(gè)被風(fēng)吹拂的小島上照出來(lái)，覺(jué)得很奇怪，因?yàn)榘蠢碚f(shuō)，那里已經(jīng)沒(méi)人住了。更奇怪的是，一天晚上，那盞燈忽亮忽滅。最后作者和Dale決定上島去查看情況，結(jié)果發(fā)現(xiàn)了受傷的Mori先生，他用燈光發(fā)出了求救信號(hào)?！驹斀狻?.段落續(xù)寫①由第一段首句內(nèi)容“Dale懷疑我們是否能找到任何人，但我們還是出發(fā)去了幽靈島?！笨芍?，第一段可描寫他們?cè)趰u上的經(jīng)歷以及發(fā)現(xiàn)了Mori先生并幫助他的經(jīng)過(guò)。②由第二段首句內(nèi)容“Mori先生從醫(yī)院回到幽靈島后，我們幾次拜訪了他。”可知，第二段可描寫作者和Dale與Mori先生建立聯(lián)系以及感悟。2.續(xù)寫線索：去幽靈島——來(lái)到小屋——發(fā)現(xiàn)Mori先生——Mori先生解釋原因——救助Mori先生——建立聯(lián)系——感悟3.詞匯激活行為類①抬起：elevate/lift②遮住：obscure/overcurtain③到達(dá)：arrive/getto④幫助：help/assist情緒類①不小心：accidentally/incautiously②感謝：thank/appreciate【點(diǎn)睛】[高分句型1]Aswedrewcloser,theoldcampcameintoview,partiallyobscuredbypinetrees.(運(yùn)用了as引導(dǎo)時(shí)間狀語(yǔ)從句)[高分句型2]TheymovedMr.Moriontoaboatandtookhimacrossthelake,whereanambulancewaswaiting.(運(yùn)用了where引導(dǎo)非限制性定語(yǔ)從句)2．Sadly,whengraduationdayapproached,herefusedtoattendtheceremony.Hetoldmegloomilythathewouldnotattendthegraduationceremonybecausenofamilymemberwouldbetheretoseehimwalkacrossthestagetoreceivehisdiploma.Itoldhimthathewaswrong,becauseonthatday,Iwouldbethereaswellashissixotherteacherswhohadtheunbelievableopportunitytoseehimtransformintoastudentofself-worth,diligence,andpotential.Icanstillrememberhissmilefaceashewalkedacrossthatstagetoreceivehisdiploma.Istillthinktomyself,whatifthatmomenthadneverhappened?Whatifhisanswerswerenotheard?Whatifthelessonshewastryingtoteachmewerenotlearned?Ihavelearnedthatlessonsarenotalwaysmeanttobeforstudents.Asateacher,Ilookforwardeagerlyeveryyeartothelessonsmystudentsbringtotheclassroom,becauseIknowtheselivesarereadytobechanged.【導(dǎo)語(yǔ)】本文以人物為線索展開(kāi)，講述了作為一名教育工作者發(fā)現(xiàn)他的班級(jí)里有一名成績(jī)和課堂表現(xiàn)不相符的學(xué)生。通過(guò)學(xué)校的輔導(dǎo)計(jì)劃，作者逐漸了解到這位學(xué)生的家庭背景和成長(zhǎng)環(huán)境。在作者的關(guān)注和輔導(dǎo)下，他表現(xiàn)出決心和毅力，并和原來(lái)的班級(jí)一起成為高年級(jí)學(xué)生，也有機(jī)會(huì)和他的朋友一起畢業(yè)。但是，當(dāng)畢業(yè)日臨近時(shí)，他拒絕參加畢業(yè)典禮。在作者的鼓勵(lì)下，他微笑著走上臺(tái)去拿畢業(yè)證書。作者感悟到學(xué)生帶到學(xué)校的生活課程是作者真正需要學(xué)習(xí)的?！驹斀狻?.段落續(xù)寫：①由第一段首句內(nèi)容“可悲的是，當(dāng)畢業(yè)日臨近時(shí)，他拒絕參加畢業(yè)典禮。”可知，第一段可描寫作者了解到這位學(xué)生拒絕參加畢業(yè)典禮的原因，并鼓勵(lì)他成為有價(jià)值有潛力的人。②由第二段首句內(nèi)容“我仍然記得他走上臺(tái)去拿畢業(yè)證書時(shí)笑容。”可知，第二段可描寫作者成功的勸說(shuō)這位學(xué)生參加畢業(yè)典禮以及作者的感悟。2.續(xù)寫線索：觀察到一位成績(jī)和表現(xiàn)不符的學(xué)生——幫助——了解生活背景——鼓勵(lì)參加畢業(yè)典禮——感悟3.詞匯激活行為類①參加：attend/participatein②改變：transform/change/turn③目的是，為了：bemeantto/bedesignedto情緒類①沮喪地：gloomily/pessimistically②熱切地：eagerly/earnestly【點(diǎn)睛】【高分句型1】Itoldhimthathewaswrong,becauseonthatday,Iwouldbethereaswellashissixotherteacherswhohadtheunbelievableopportunitytoseehimtransformintoastudentofself-worth,diligence,andpotential.(使用了that引導(dǎo)的賓語(yǔ)從句，because引導(dǎo)的原因狀語(yǔ)從句從句以及who引導(dǎo)的定語(yǔ)從句)【高分句型2】Ihavelearnedthatlessonsarenotalwaysmeanttobeforstudents.(使用了that引導(dǎo)的賓語(yǔ)從句)3．Paragraph1:ThenImetanexpertwhotookonelookatthemandsaiditwasanewspecies.Thesefrogsspendtheirentirelifecycleinsidetheplant:Theylaytheireggs,becometadpolesanddoeverythinginsideit.Idecidedtofocusmyresearchonthisfrog,andworktosaveit.IneverthoughtIwouldspendmycareerlearningaboutfrogs,butitfeelslikeanobligationtofinishthisworkandmakesuretheyareprotected.(心理描寫)Ihopetoinspireotherstodothesame—becausebyprotectingonespeciesIamprotectingawholehabitat.Paragraph2:Duringmyresearch,partoftheareawherethesefrogslivewasdestroyedbyfire.Firefr