寶萊塢之王的人性觀 中英互譯

I’mamoviestar,I’m51yearsofage,andIdon’tuseBotoxasyet.

SoI’mclean,butIdobehavelikeyousawlikea21-year-oldinmymovies.Yeah,Idothat.Iselldreams,andIpeddlelovetomillionsofpeoplebackhomeinIndiawhoassumethatI’mthebestloverintheworld.

Ifyoudon’ttellanyone,I’mgoingtotellyouI’mnot,butIneverletthatassumptiongoaway.

I’vealsobeenmadetounderstandtherearelotsofyouherewhohaven’tseenmywork,andIfeelreallysadforyou.

Thatdoesn’ttakeawayfromthefactthatI’mcompletelyself-obsessed,asamoviestarshouldbe.

That’swhenmyfriends,ChrisandJulietcalledmeheretospeakaboutthefuture“you.”Naturally,itfollowsI’mgoingtospeakaboutthepresentme.

BecauseItrulybelievethathumanityisalotlikeme.

Itis.Itis.

It’sanagingmoviestar,grapplingwithallthenewnessarounditself,wonderingwhetheritgotitrightinthefirstplace,andstilltryingtofindawaytokeeponshiningregardless.

IwasborninarefugeecolonyinthecapitalcityofIndia,NewDelhi.Andmyfatherwasafreedomfighter.Mymotherwas,well,justafighterlikemothersare.Andmuchliketheoriginalhomosapiens,westruggledtosurvive.WhenIwasinmyearly20s,Ilostbothmyparents,whichImustadmitseemsabitcarelessofmenow,but—Idorememberthenightmyfatherdied,andIrememberthedriverofaneighborwhowasdrivingustothehospital.Hemumbledsomethingabout“deadpeopledon’ttipsowell”andwalkedawayintothedark.AndIwasonly14then,andIputmyfather’sdeadbodyinthebackseatofthecar,andmymotherbesidesme,Istarteddrivingbackfromthehospitaltothehouse.Andinthemiddleofherquietcrying,mymotherlookedatmeandshesaid,“Son,whendidyoulearntodrive?”AndIthoughtaboutitandrealized,andIsaidtomymom,“Justnow,Mom.”

Sofromthatnightonwards,muchakintohumanityinitsadolescence,Ilearnedthecrudetoolsofsurvival.Andtheframeworkoflifewasvery,verysimplethen,tobehonest.Youknow,youjustatewhatyougotanddidwhateveryouweretoldtodo.Ithoughtceliacwasavegetable,andvegan,ofcourse,wasMr.Spock’slostcomradein“StarTrek.”

Youmarriedthefirstgirlthatyoudated,andyouwereatechieifyoucouldfixthecarburetorinyourcar.IreallythoughtthatgaywasasophisticatedEnglishwordforhappy.AndLesbian,ofcourse,wasthecapitalofPortugal,asyouallknow.

WherewasI?Wereliedonsystemscreatedthroughthetoilandsacrificeofgenerationsbeforetoprotectus,andwefeltthatgovernmentsactuallyworkedforourbetterment.Sciencewassimpleandlogical,ApplewasstillthenjustafruitownedbyEvefirstandthenNewton,notbySteveJobs,untilthen.And“Eureka!”waswhatyouscreamedwhenyouwantedtorunnakedonthestreets.Youwentwhereverlifetookyouforwork,andpeopleweremostlywelcomingofyou.MigrationwasatermthenstillreservedforSiberiancranes,nothumanbeings.

Mostimportantly,youwerewhoyouwereandyousaidwhatyouthought.

Theninmylate20s,IshiftedtothesprawlingmetropolisofMumbai,andmyframework,likethenewlyindustrializedaspirationalhumanity,begantoalter.Intheurbanrushforanew,moreembellishedsurvival,thingsstartedtolookalittledifferent.Imetpeoplewhohaddescendedfromallovertheworld,faces,races,genders,money-lenders.Definitionsbecamemoreandmorefluid.Workbegantodefineyouatthattimeinanoverwhelminglyequalizingmanner,andallthesystemsstartedtofeellessreliabletome,almosttoothicktoholdontothediversityofmankindandthehumanneedtoprogressandgrow.Ideaswereflowingwithmorefreedomandspeed.AndIexperiencedthemiracleofhumaninnovationandcooperation,andmyowncreativity,whensupportedbytheresourcefulnessofthiscollectiveendeavor,catapultedmeintosuperstardom.

IstartedtofeelthatIhadarrived,andgenerally,bythetimeIwas40,Iwasreally,reallyflying.Iwasallovertheplace.Youknow?I’ddone50filmsbythenand200songs,andI’dbeenknightedbytheMalaysians.IhadbeengiventhehighestcivilhonorbytheFrenchgovernment,thetitleofwhichforthelifeofmeIcan’tpronounceevenuntilnow.

I’msorry,France,andthankyou,France,fordoingthat.Butmuchbiggerthanthat,IgottomeetAngelinaJolie—fortwoandahalfseconds.

AndI’msureshealsoremembersthatencountersomewhere.OK,maybenot.AndIsatnexttoHannahMontanaonarounddinnertablewithherbacktowardsmemostofthetime.LikeIsaid,Iwasflying,fromMileytoJolie,andhumanitywassoaringwithme.Wewerebothprettymuchflyingoffthehandle,actually.

Andthenyouallknowwhathappened.Theinternethappened.Iwasinmylate40s,andIstartedtweetinglikeacanaryinabirdcageandassumingthat,youknow,peoplewhopeeredintomyworldwouldadmireitforthemiracleIbelievedittobe.Butsomethingelseawaitedmeandhumanity.Youknow,wehadexpectedanexpansionofideasanddreamswiththeenhancedconnectivityoftheworld.Wehadnotbargainedforthevillage-likeenclosureofthought,ofjudgment,ofdefinitionthatflowedfromthesameplacethatfreedomandrevolutionwastakingplacein.

EverythingIsaidtookanewmeaning.EverythingIdid—good,bad,ugly—wastherefortheworldtocommentuponandjudge.Asamatteroffact,everythingIdidn’tsayordoalsometwiththesamefate.

Fouryearsago,mylovelywifeGauriandmedecidedtohaveathirdchild.Itwasclaimedonthenetthathewasthelovechildofourfirstchildwhowas15yearsold.Apparently,hehadsownhiswildoatswithagirlwhiledrivinghercarinRomania.Andyeah,therewasafakevideotogowithit.Andweweresodisturbedasafamily.Myson,whois19now,evennowwhenyousay“hello”tohim,hejustturnsaroundandsays,“Butbro,Ididn’tevenhaveaEuropeandrivinglicense.”

Yeah.

Inthisnewworld,slowly,realitybecamevirtualandvirtualbecamereal,andIstartedtofeelthatIcouldnotbewhoIwantedtobeorsaywhatIactuallythought,andhumanityatthistimecompletelyidentifiedwithme.

Ithinkbothofusweregoingthroughourmidlifecrisis,andhumanity,likeme,wasbecominganoverexposedprimadonna.Istartedtoselleverything,fromhairoiltodieselgenerators.Humanitywasbuyingeverythingfromcrudeoiltonuclearreactors.Youknow,Ieventriedtogetintoaskintightsuperherosuittoreinventmyself.ImustadmitIfailedmiserably.AndjustanasideIwanttosayonbehalfofalltheBatmen,Spider-MenandSupermenoftheworld,youhavetocommendthem,becauseitreallyhurtsinthecrotch,thatsuperherosuit.

Yeah,I’mbeinghonest.Ineedtotellyouthishere.Really.Andaccidentally,IhappenedtoeveninventanewdanceformwhichIdidn’trealize,anditbecamearage.Soifit’sallright,andyou’veseenabitofme,soI’mquiteshameless,I’llshowyou.ItwascalledtheLungidance.Soifit’sallright,I’lljustshowyou.I’mtalentedotherwise.

Soitwentsomethinglikethis.

Lungidance.Lungidance.Lungidance.Lungidance.Lungidance.Lungidance.Lungidance.Lungidance.Lungidance.Lungidance.Lungidance.Lungi.

That’sit.Itbecamearage.

Itreallydid.Likeyounotice,nobodycouldmakeanysenseofwhatwashappeningexceptme,andIdidn’tgiveadamn,really,becausethewholeworld,andwholehumanity,seemedasconfusedandlostasIwas.Ididn’tgiveupthen.Ieventriedtoreconstructmyidentityonthesocialmedialikeeveryoneelsedoes.IthoughtifIputonphilosophicaltweetsouttherepeoplewillthinkI’mwithit,butsomeoftheresponsesIgotfromthosetweetswereextremelyconfusingacronymswhichIdidn’tunderstand.Youknow?ROFL,LOL.“Adidas,”somebodywrotebacktooneofmymorethought-provokingtweetsandIwaswonderingwhywouldyounameasneaker,Imean,whywouldyouwritebackthenameofasneakertome?AndIaskedmy16-year-olddaughter,andsheenlightenedme.“Adidas”nowmeans“AlldayIdreamaboutsex.”

Really.Ididn’tknowifyouknowthat.SoIwroteback,“WTF”inboldtoMr.Adidas,thankingsecretlythatsomeacronymsandthingswon’tchangeatall.WTF.

Buthereweare.Iam51yearsold,likeItoldyou,andmind-numbingacronymsnotwithstanding,

Ijustwanttotellyouiftherehasbeenamomentoustimeforhumanitytoexist,itisnow,becausethepresentyouisbrave.Thepresentyouishopeful.Thepresentyouisinnovativeandresourceful,andofcourse,thepresentyouisannoyinglyindefinable.

Andinthisspell-binding,imperfectmomentofexistence,feelingalittlebravejustbeforeIcamehere,Idecidedtotakeagood,hardlookatmyface.AndIrealizedthatI’mbeginningtolookmoreandmorelikethewaxstatueofmeatMadameTussaud’s.

Yeah,andinthatmomentofrealization,Iaskedthemostcentralandpertinentquestiontohumanityandme:DoIneedtofixmyface?Really.I’manactor,likeItoldyou,amodernexpressionofhumancreativity.ThelandIcomefromisthesourceofinexplicablebutverysimplespirituality.Initsimmensegenerosity,IndiadecidedsomehowthatI,theMuslimsonofabrokefreedomfighterwhoaccidentallyventuredintothebusinessofsellingdreams,shouldbecomeitskingofromance,the“BadhshahofBollywood,”thegreatestloverthecountryhaseverseen...withthisface.Yeah.

Whichhasalternatelybeendescribedasugly,unconventional,andstrangely,notchocolateyenough.

Thepeopleofthisancientlandembracedmeintheirlimitlesslove,andI’velearnedfromthesepeoplethatneitherpowernorpovertycanmakeyourlifemoremagicalorlesstortuous.I’velearnedfromthepeopleofmycountrythatthedignityofalife,ahumanbeing,aculture,areligion,acountryactuallyresidesinitsabilityforgraceandcompassion.

I’velearnedthatwhatevermovesyou,whateverurgesyoutocreate,tobuild,whateverkeepsyoufromfailing,whateverhelpsyousurvive,isperhapstheoldestandthesimplestemotionknowntomankind,andthatislove.

Amysticpoetfrommylandfamouslywrote,

Whichlooselytranslatesintothatwhatever—yeah,ifyouknowHindi,pleaseclap,yeah.

It’sverydifficulttoremember.Whichlooselytranslatesintoactuallysayingthatallthebooksofknowledgethatyoumightreadandthengoaheadandimpartyourknowledgethroughinnovation,throughcreativity,throughtechnology,butmankindwillneverbethewiseraboutitsfutureunlessitiscoupledwithasenseofloveandcompassionfortheirfellowbeings.Thetwoandahalfalphabetswhichformtheword“?????”,whichmeans“l(fā)ove,”ifyouareabletounderstandthatandpracticeit,thatitselfisenoughtoenlightenmankind.SoItrulybelievethefuture“you”hastobeayouthatloves.Otherwiseitwillceasetoflourish.Itwillperishinitsownself-absorption.

Soyoumayuseyourpowertobuildwallsandkeeppeopleoutside,oryoumayuseittobreakbarriersandwelcomethemin.Youmayuseyourfaithtomakepeopleafraidandterrifythemintosubmission,oryoucanuseittogivecouragetopeoplesotheyrisetothegreatestheightsofenlightenment.Youcanuseyourenergytobuildnuclearbombsandspreadthedarknessofdestruction,oryoucanuseittospreadthejoyoflighttomillions.Youmayfilthyuptheoceanscallouslyandcutdownalltheforests.Youcandestroytheecology,orturntothemwithloveandregeneratelifefromthewatersandtrees.YoumaylandonMarsandbuildarmedcitadels,oryoumaylookforlife-formsandspeciestolearnfromandrespect.Andyoucanuseallthemoneysweallhaveearnedtowagefutilewarsandgivegunsinthehandsoflittlechildrentokilleachotherwith,oryoucanuseittomakemorefoodtofilltheirstomachswith.

Mycountryhastaughtme

thecapacityforahumanbeingtoloveisakintogodliness.Itshinesforthinaworldwhichcivilization,Ithink,alreadyhastamperedtoo