新高考英語概要寫作示例與寫作訓(xùn)練 (六)

概要寫作示例與寫作訓(xùn)練6

【寫作示例】

【原文呈現(xiàn)】

閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容寫一篇60詞左右的內(nèi)容概要。

Muchmeaningcanbeconveyed,clearly,withoureyes,soitisoftensaidthateyescanspeak.

Doyouhavesuchkindofexperience?Inabusyoumaylookatstranger,butnottoolong.

Andifheissensingthatheisbeingstaredat,hemayfeeluncomfortable.Thesameindailylife.If

youarelookedatformorethannecessary,youwilllookatyourselfupanddown,toseeifthereis

anythingwrongwithyou.Ifnothinggoeswrong,youwillfeelangrytowardothers'starewithyou

thatway.Eyesdospeak,right?

Lookingtoolongatsomeonemayseemtoberudeandaggressive.Butthingsaredifferent

whenitcomestostareattheoppositesex.Ifamanglancesatawomanformorethan10seconds

andrefusestoaverthisgaze,hisintentionsareobvious,thatis,hewishestoattractherattention,

tomakeherunderstandthatheisadmiringher.

However,thenormaleyecontactfbrtwopeopleengagedinconversationisthatthespeaker

willonlylookatthelistenerfromtimetotime,inordertomakesurethatthelistenerdoespay

attentiontowhattheformerisspeaking,totellhimthatheisattentive.Ifaspeakerlooksatyou

continuouslywhenspeaking,asifhetriestodominateyou,youwillfeeldisconcerted.Apoorliar

usuallyexposeshimselfbylookingtoolongatthevictim,sincehebelievesinthefalseideathatto

lookstraightintheeyeisasignofhonestcommunication.Quitethecontrary.Infact,continuous

eyecontactisconfinedtoloversonly,whowillenjoylookingateachothertenderlyforalong

time,toshowaffectionthatwordscannotexpress.

Evidently,eyecontactshouldbedoneaccordingtotherelationshipbetweentwopeopleand

thespecificsituation.

【思維路徑】

［核心內(nèi)容］

本文是一篇說明文，全文共分五段。第一段是此篇文章的總起段，引出“eyescanspeak”

這個話題。第二段以在公共汽車上和日常生活中的兩個例子來驗證第一段眼神能夠說話這個

話題，并給出一種觀點是不恰當(dāng)?shù)淖⒁晻鸨蛔⒁暼说膶擂魏驼`解。第三段介紹了一種人

們都默許并認(rèn)可的長久的注視，即男女之間感情的傳達(dá)的眼神交流。第四段則轉(zhuǎn)折出談話時

人們之間該有的正常的眼神交流方法方式，并再次論證了長久的注視只應(yīng)存在在彼此有好感

的男女之間。第五段為本文的總結(jié)收尾段落，眼神交流的方式應(yīng)隨兩個人之間的不同關(guān)系和

不同場景而做出相應(yīng)的調(diào)整。

［寫作思路］

(1)理清文章脈絡(luò)、概括段落大意。理清文章脈絡(luò)、概括段落大意是寫摘要的基礎(chǔ)，同

學(xué)們可以通過找主題句、分析段落的邏輯關(guān)系來梳理文章的脈絡(luò)，概括大意。該文第一段的

主題句是eyescanspeak,同時也是整篇文章的中心句；第二，三，四段都是對第一段主題句

的解釋和說明。其中第二段主要內(nèi)容為兩個例子，因此沒有明顯的主題句。第三段主題句可

以歸納為"looktoolongattheoppositesexisnormalandacceptable”.第四段的中心句為"the

normaleyecontactfortwopeopleengagedinconversationisthatthespeakerwillonlylookatthe

listenerfromtimetotime",第五段為本文總結(jié)段落，簡潔明了，故主題句即為該整個段落中

的唯句話，”eyecontactshouldbedoneaccordingtotherelationshipbetweentwopeopleand

thespecificsituation".

(2)確定表達(dá)要點、靈活準(zhǔn)確表達(dá)。每段的段落大意都是我們要表達(dá)的要點，這可以確

保不漏點。本文的摘要要把全文第一句作為一個要點，因為它是全文的邏輯起點。在確定表

達(dá)要點后要思考如何準(zhǔn)確靈活表達(dá)，這是難點。因為評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)要求完全使用自己的語言。靈

活表達(dá)的重要技巧是對原來的語言進(jìn)行同義替換(paraphrase),同時要對相關(guān)內(nèi)容進(jìn)行整合。

第一段是總起段，內(nèi)容相對簡單，包含一個要點(要點1),即“eyescanspeak”。第二段的要

點即為兩個例子："beingstareatinabus"和"beinglookedatformorethannecessary”.但是在寫

摘要時沒有必要把例子也寫清楚，所以就可以直接說“twoexamplespointoutthat”(要點2)。

第三段中用“but”引出了要點3,注視相同性別的人太久被認(rèn)為是粗魯和不禮貌的，那么看異

性就可以表達(dá)為“normalandacceptable”.第四段用however來承接出要點4,即在談話時正常

的眼神交流應(yīng)該是怎么樣的，文章中表達(dá)為"lookatthelistenerfromtimetotime”,可以

paraphrase為“itisalsouncomfortableforpeopletogiveunnecessaryeyecontacttothelistener

continuously”.最后一段中要點5為文章的總結(jié)性話語，在摘要中體現(xiàn)關(guān)鍵字"relationship”

和"situation”即可。

［參考范文］

Peoplecanconveymeaningsbyeyes（要點1）,buttheywillfeelstrangeiftheywerestaredat

toolong（要點2）.Infact,onlywhenithappenstotheoppositesex,itwouldbeconsideredasa

normalphenomenon（要點3）.Besides,inaconversation,itisalsouncomfortableforpeopleto

giveunnecessaryeyecontacttothelistenercontinuously（要點4）.Therefore,themeetingofeyes

dependsonthesituationandtherelationshipbetweentwopeople（要點5）.（70words）

［范文解析］

范文把原文中的被動句要點1替換成主動句式以避免重復(fù)利用原文，并將要點1與要點

2用連詞but進(jìn)行連接。要點3是將原文第三段中的第一句話和第二句話的意思用“only

when...”的句式合并成了一個句子。要點4是對另一個特殊場合，即對話時，進(jìn)行介紹，因

此與前幾個要點成并列關(guān)系，故用“besides”來承接。并且在要點4中，用,,continuously”替

換“fromtimetotime"。要點5是范文的總結(jié)部分，所以用“therefore”連接，并用“italldepends

on"替換"eyecontactshouldbedone”。

I提煉歸納1

1.巧用句型

巧用句型不僅是原有作文題型中要求的一項提分技能，更是新題型概要寫作中的一項增

分且實用的技能。將字?jǐn)?shù)較多的原文縮寫成60字左右的概要，一個重要的技巧就是學(xué)會運

用各種學(xué)過的句型，尤其是從句的使用。范文中的第一句是將原來的兩個簡單句"Peoplecan

conveymeaningsbyeyes"和"peoplewillfeelstrangeiftheywerestaredattoolong”合并為一個

復(fù)合句“Peoplecanconveymeaningsbyeyes,buttheywillfeelstrangeiftheywerestaredattoo

long”,并且在這個復(fù)合句中又巧用了if引導(dǎo)的條件狀語從句，將原文中原本復(fù)雜的例子體現(xiàn)

在一個簡短的從句中。因此多使用不同句型的句子不僅能減少字?jǐn)?shù)的使用，而且能使整個文

章更加精致和有內(nèi)容。

2.語義轉(zhuǎn)換

語義轉(zhuǎn)換(paraphrase)是新題型概要寫作中很重要的一項基本技能，因為評價標(biāo)準(zhǔn)對“使

用自己的語言進(jìn)行觀點的獨立表達(dá)”有較高的要求。此外，這也是整個英語學(xué)習(xí)過程中比須

掌握的一項交際技能。本范文中我們將"eyecontact眼神交流"表達(dá)為"themeetingofeyes"。

同時，本文中一直出現(xiàn)的“toolong"和"fromtimetotime”可以轉(zhuǎn)換為“continuously”,三者實際

上表達(dá)的是一個意思，都說明眼神交流的時間過長或過頻繁。這可以避免重復(fù)原文內(nèi)容，使

用不同的語言進(jìn)行準(zhǔn)確的表達(dá)。

【寫作演練】

1.閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容寫一篇60詞左右的內(nèi)容概要。

Notalleducationcanandshouldhappenwithintheclassroom.Sometimes,travelingisthe

bestformofeducation,asstudentscangetanumberofpersonalandeducationalbenefitsfrom

travel.Fromlearningaboutotherculturesfirst-handtoseeingwherehistoricaleventstookplace

withtheirowneyes,educationaltravelgivesstudentstheopportunitytodeepentheir

understandingofart,science,history,andcultureinmanyways.

Educationalbecomesawholenewexperiencewhenstudentscanseelotsoftoolsand

equipmentforthemselvesbytravelingtodifferentplaces.Thetoolsandequipmentcouldbeused

byscientistsdecadesorevencenturiesagotomakediscoveriesthatmakeourmodemworld

possible.Educationaltravelbringsthematerialsoffthepagesandintoreality,allowingstudentsto

connectthemselveswiththeminamoremeaningfulway.

Nomatterwherestudentsgo,it'salmostguaranteedthatthey'llfindsomekindoffoodthatis

uniquetothatplaceordonebetterthananywhereelse.IfsomeonegetsChicago-stylepizzain

Chicago,they'regoingtohaveadifferenttastingexperiencethantheywouldiftheyweregetting

thesametypeofthingin,say,Texas.Atthesametime,gettingchiliinTexaswouldbeawhole

differentexperiencefromgettingchiliinNewYorkorChicago.Studentscanlearnalotabouta

culturebywhattheyeatonadailybasisandwhattheyconsideraspecialmeal,soit'sgoodtotake

atasteofthelocalfoodandlearnthroughallofthesenses.

Beingawayfromfamily,home,andfamiliargroundisacourageousandindependent

adventureinitsownright.Educationaltravelprovidesthatopportunitytoallowstudentstoopen

theirmindsregardinghowtheychoosetolivelife,whichcanbeextraordinarilyhelpfulin

preparingstudentsforcollegeandadulthood.Traveling-withthecombinedsocialskillsand

perspectives（視角）itteaches-reallyallowsstudentstobetterunderstandhowtheycanoperateon

theirown.

2.閱讀短文，根據(jù)短文內(nèi)容寫出一篇60詞左右的內(nèi)容摘要.

Somepeoplethinkonlyschoolchildrendonotagreewiththeirparents.However,itisnot

true.Communicationisaproblemforparentsandchildrenofallages.Ifit'shardfbryouto

communicatewithyourparents,don'tworryaboutit.Hereissomeadvicefbryoutobridgethe

generationgap.

Don'targuewithyourparents.Don'ttalkwithyourparentswhenyouareangry.Yourparents

probablywon'tconsideryourideasifyouareshoutingatthem.Andyoucan'texpressyourself

wellifyouareangry.Gotosomeplacetocooloff.Makesureyouunderstandwhyyouare

unhappy.Thenthinkaboutwhatyouwanttosaytoyourparents.Ifyoudon'tthinkyoucanspeak

tothematthemoment,trywritingaletter.

Trytoreachacompromise.Perhapsyouandyourparentsdisagreeonsomething.Youcan

keepyourdisagreementandtryyourbesttoaccepteachother.MichaeFsmotherdidn'tagreewith

himaboutbuyingamotorcycle.Theyarguedoverit.Buttheyfinallycametoacompromise.

Michaelboughtthemotorcycle,butonlydroveitoncertaindays.

Ofcourse,yourparentsmightrefusetocompromiseonsomething.Inthesesituations,itis

especiallyimportanttoshowloveandrespecttothem.Showingrespectwillkeepyour

relationshipstrong.

Talkaboutyourvalues.Thevaluesofyourparentsareprobablydifferentfromthoseofyour

own.Tellyourparentswhatyoucareabout,andwhy.Understandingyourvaluesmighthelpthem

seeyourpurposesinlife.

Agoodrelationshipwithyourparentscanmakeyouabelterandhappierperson.Itisworth

havingatry.

3.閱讀短文，根據(jù)短文內(nèi)容寫出一篇60詞左右的內(nèi)容摘要.

e-learning:Hazypast-betterfuture?

Howmuchofaneffectdoestechnologyhaveonstudents'learning?Asignificantone,it

seems,accordingtoexperts.Currentlyavailabletechnologies,themostimportantofwhichare

computersandtheInternet,apparentlyprovidealearningenvironmentinwhich

problem-solvingandintellectualenquirycanflourish.Theprocessoflearningintheclassroom

maybecomesignificantlymoreeffectiveasstudentscandealwithinformationonthecomputer.

Orsothetheorygoes.Myownviewpointisratherdifferent,Tmafraid.

Computershavebeenaroundfortwodecadesaspartofschoolequipment.Thereare,of

course,obstacleslikecoststoovercome,butit'sjustamatteroftimeandeffort.Thisisbecause

schoolshavedonewhateveryorganisationdoeswhenitseesaninnovation—itappliesthe

innovationtoitsexistingmodel,whichaddscostbutdoesn'ttransformthestandardclassroom.

Wehave,duringthatperiod,spentover$60billiononthem,butinmyviewtheyseemtohave

hadlittleornoeffectonlearninginschools.Contentiskingandthemodeofdeliveryis

irrelevant.Ifateachermakesthesubjectmatterinteresting,itdoesnotmatterwhat,ifany,

equipmentisused.

However,changeisonthehorizon.Ithinkstudent-centredlearningwillbecomethenorm

andtransformeducation.Computerswillpavethewayforfarmoreindependentlearning.

Studentswhocurrentlydon'thaveaccesstoschoolsorteachersarenowabletogetonline.

Theycanstudyfromhomethankstothefactthatmorelearningprogrammesarebeingwritten

forlearnerswhoareforcedbytheircircumstancestobeself-sufficient.Thiswouldprove

especiallybeneficialinthoseareasoftheworldwherequalityeducationislimitedorextremely

expensive.Therefore,inafewyears'timewecouldhaveacompletelydifferentconversation

abouttechnologyanditsimpactonlearning.

4.閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容寫一篇60詞左右的內(nèi)容概要。

HowtoDealwithPressuresatSchool

Asahighschoolstudent,ifyouarefeelingstressedoutorfrustratedbyteachers,

classmates,orschoolwork,itisimportanttoknowthatyouaren'ttheonlyone.Believeitornot,

everyonehasthesefeelingsatsomepoint,andeveryoneshouldlearnhowtodealwiththem

properly.

Firstofall,youneedtokeepapositiveattitudeandnottakethingstoheart.Thatsomeone

gotabettergradethanyoudoesn'tmeanthattheyaresmarter-perhapstheystudiedlongeror

knewthematerialmore.It'seasytobecomefrustratedifyouarenotdoingaswellasyourfriends,

butbeingoptimisticwillhelpyoudealwithfuturesimilarsituations.

Secondly,ifstudentsatschoolarebullyingyou,knowwhentostandupforyourself.Don't

letotherclassmatesmakeyoufeelthatyouarenotgoodenough.Theyaresimplyinsecureanddo

notknowhowtodealwiththepressuresofschool.Theyarejusttryingtomakeothersfeelbad,

sotheycanfeelbetteraboutthemselves.

Lastly,itisnecessarytokeepthingscorrectly.Foranysituationthatisstressful,takea

secondlookfromadifferentpointofview.WhenIlookbacktothefrustrationsofmyhighschool

days,Inoticethatmanyofthemseemveryunimportanttomenow.

Ifsnoteasytobeconfidentwhentherearesomanystudentswhoseemlikethey"haveitall",

buttrytorealizethatyou,too,aregoodenough.It5snotacompetitionaboutwhoissmarter,more

beautiful—everyoneisdifferent—sobelieveyourindividuality.

5.閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容寫一篇60詞左右的內(nèi)容概要.

Speed-readingisanecessaryskillintheInternetage.Wereadarticles,e-mailsandWeChat

quickly,tryingtounderstandkeywordsandthemostimportantmeaningofacertaintext.Faced

withsomuchinformationfromoursmartphones,itwouldbeimpossibletodealifwereadword

byword,linebyline.However,moreandmorepeopleenjoyreadingslowly.

ThereisabookclubinWellington,NewZealand,wheremembersmeetinacafeandturnoff

theirsmartphones.Theysinkintocomfortablechairsandreadinsilenceforanhour.Unlikeother

bookclubs,thepointoftheslowreadingclubisn'texchangingideasaboutacertainbook,butto

getawayfromsmartphonesandreadinaquiet,relaxingenvironment.Actually,theWellington

bookclubisjustoneexampleofslow-readingbookclubs.

Nowadays,technologyhasmadeusunabletofocusonreading.^Screenshavechangedour

readingpatternsfromthestraightandinformationleft-to-rightordertoawildskimming（略讀）

andskippingpatternaswehuntforimportantwordsandinformation.Readingatextwithlinks

leadstoweakerunderstandingthanreadinganordinarytext,“saysPatrickKingsleyfroma

newspaper.However,slowreadingisgoodforreadersinmanyways.Itsharpensthemind,

improvesconcentration,reducesstresslevelsanddeepenstheabilitytosympathize（共

鳴）.Anotherstudylastyearshowedthatreadingnovelsslowlyhelpspeopleunderstandothers9

mentalstatesandbeliefs,afundamentalskillinbuildingrelationships.

Aimfbr30minutesaday,advisesKelly,aslowreader."Youcanputinhalfanhourpretty

easilyduringyourfreemoments.Youpickupameaningfulbookratherthanstartyourcomputer

tolookfbryourfavoritesitefbrsomethingtopassthetimeJKellysaid.

1.【參考范文】

Educationaltravelcanprovidestudentswithanumberofbenefits.（要點I）First,educational

travelmakesthematerialsonthebookreal,whichhelpsstudentsdeepentheirlearning.（要點

2）Second,studentscantastevariousfoodsintheireducationaltravel,thushelpingthemknow

aboutdifferentcultures.（耍點3）Third,educationaltravelencouragesstudentstobemore

independentandbraver,whichdoesgoodtotheirfuture.（要點4）（60words）

【解析】

本篇考查的作文類型是概要寫作。文章的主要結(jié)構(gòu)為總-分-總。主要講教育旅游可以為

學(xué)生提供許多好處，并具體說明了這些好處是什么。符合概要寫作常規(guī)出題思路。

第一段講述教育旅游可以為學(xué)生提供許多好處?？梢杂玫降脑~匯或句型有：providesb.

withsth.,anumberof,benefits等。第二段講述教育旅行使書本上的材料真實，幫助學(xué)生加深

他們的學(xué)習(xí)?？梢杂玫降脑~匯或句式有：materials,deepen,helpsb.dosth.^o第三段主要講

學(xué)生可以在他們的教育旅行中品嘗各種食物，從而幫助他們了解不同的文化?？梢杂玫降脑~

匯或句式有：taste,various,knowabout,differentcultures等。第四段講教育旅游鼓勵學(xué)生

更加獨立和勇敢，這對他們的未來有好處。可以用到的詞匯或句式有：encouragesb.todosth.,

independent,dogoodto等。

【高分句型一】

First,educationaltravelmakesthematerialsonthebookrealbecauseeducationaltravelhelps

studentsdeepentheirlearning.首先，教育性旅行使書中的材料變得真實，因為教育性旅行幫

助學(xué)生加深了他們的學(xué)習(xí)。運用because引導(dǎo)原因狀語從句。

【高分句型二】

Second,studentscantastevariousfoodsintheireducationaltravelsothateducationaltravel

canhelpthemknowaboutdifferentcultures.第二，學(xué)生可以在他們的教育旅游中品嘗各種食

物，這樣教育旅游可以幫助他們了解不同的文化。運用sothat引導(dǎo)目的狀語從句。

2.【參考范文】

Problemsbetweenparentsandchildrenalwaysexist,Herearesomesuggestions.Firstavoid

talkingtoyourparentswhenyouareangry.Besides,tryyourbesttoacceptyourparent.Andalso

importantly,tellyourparentswhafsinyourmindandwhatyouvalue.Inthiswayyoucannarrow

thegapbetweenyouandyourparentsandbeahappyperson.

【解析】

這是一篇議論文，文章描述了父母和孩子之間存在的問題，并給出了3點建議。

第一步：概括每個段落的大意

第一段主要說明了父母和孩子之間的問題在各個年齡都會有，并開始給出幾點關(guān)于代溝

溝通的建議。可以用Problemsbetweenparentsandchildrenalwaysexist,Herearesome

suggestions.表示。第二段給出第一個建議，第一句就給出了主旨句子Don'arguewithyour

parents.Don'ttalkwithyourparentswhenyouareangry.當(dāng)你生氣的時候不要和父母爭吵，可以

用避免和父母爭吵表達(dá)，即avoidtalkingtoyourparentswhenyouareangryo第三段和第四段

給出第二個建議：和父母達(dá)成妥協(xié)，即tryyourbesttoacceptyourparent.第五段給出第三個

建議：告訴父母你的價值觀和心中所想，即tellyourparentswhafsinyourmindandwhatyou

value.最后給出總結(jié):和父母之間友好的關(guān)系才能讓你變得開心，即Inthiswayyoucannarrow

thegapbetweenyouandyourparentsandbeahappyperson.

第二步：連句成篇（銜接詞）

1.表文章結(jié)構(gòu)順序：Firstofall,Firstly/First,Secondly/Second...Andthen,Finally,Intheend,At

last

2.表并列補充關(guān)系：Whatismore,Besides,Moreover,Furthermore,InadditionAswellas,not

only...but（also）,including,

3表轉(zhuǎn)折對比關(guān)系:However,Onthecontrary,but,Although+clause（從句）,Inspite

of+n/doing,Ontheonehand...,Ontheotherhand...Some...,whileothers...,asfor,so...that...

4.表因果關(guān)系：Because,As,So,Thus,Therefore,Asaresult

連句成文，注意使用恰當(dāng)?shù)倪B詞進(jìn)行句子之間的銜接與過渡，書寫一定要規(guī)范清晰

3.【參考范文】

Althoughexpertssaymodemtechnologyhasasignificanteffectonclassroomlearning,the

writerholdsadifferentview.Schoolshaveinvestedmuchtoapplycomputersintheirclassroom

teaching,butithasn'tchangedtheclassroomteachingbecausewhatteachersteachismore

important.Butcomputersmakeitpossibleforthosewithnoaccesstoschooltostudyontheir

own.

【解析】

這是一篇概要寫作。

寫作步驟

1）細(xì)讀原文。首先要仔細(xì)閱讀短文，掌握文章主旨。文章說明了盡管專家說現(xiàn)代技術(shù)對

課堂學(xué)習(xí)有顯著的影響，作者卻持有不同的觀點。學(xué)校投入了大量資金將計算機(jī)應(yīng)用到課堂

教學(xué)中，但這并沒有改變課堂教學(xué)，因為老師教什么更重要。但是計算機(jī)使那些不能上學(xué)的

人能夠自學(xué)。

2）弄清結(jié)構(gòu)，歸納段意。概要寫作是寫全文概要，不是寫某一部分的概要，或者就某些

問題寫出要點。因此一定要弄清文章結(jié)構(gòu)，歸納文章各段大意。

3）列出原文要點。分析原文的內(nèi)容和結(jié)構(gòu)，將內(nèi)容分項扼要表述并注意在結(jié)構(gòu)上的順序。

在此基礎(chǔ)上選出與文章主題密切相關(guān)的部分。

4.【參考范文】

Everyhighschoolstudentfeelsfrustratedatschoolsometimesandifsnecessarytolearnhow

tohandleit.Optimisticattitudescheeryouupwhenyouarenotdoingwellinstudies.Bebrave

whenothersbullyyouduetotheirownlackofconfidence.Lookingatstressfulsituations

differentlyrelievesyou.Afterail,youareuniqueandequallygood.

【解析】

本篇書面表達(dá)是概要寫作，要求概括每個高中生在學(xué)校有時都會感到沮喪，所以有必要

學(xué)會如何處理。當(dāng)你學(xué)習(xí)不好時，樂觀的態(tài)度會使你振作起來；當(dāng)別人因為自己缺乏自信而

欺負(fù)你時要勇敢；以不同的方式看待壓力會減輕你的壓力。畢竟，你是獨一無二的，同樣優(yōu)

秀