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HelicopterMomsvs.Free-RangeHelicopterMomsvs.Free-RangeProbablynot.Still,whenLenoreSkenazy,acolumnistfortheNewYorkSun,wroteaboutlettinghersontakethesubwayalonetogetbacktoherManhattanhomefromadepartmentstoreontheUpperEastSide,shedidn’texpecttogethitwithawaveofcriticismfromreaders.“Longstoryshort:Mysongothome,overjoyedwithindependence,”SkenazywroteonApril4intheNewYorkSun.“Longstorylonger:HalfthepeopleI’vetoldthisepisodetonowwanttoturnoninforchildabuse.AsifkeepingkidsunderlockandkeyandcellphoneandcarefulwatchistherightwaytorearkidsIt’snot.It’sdebilitating(使虛弱)—forusandforOnlinemessageboardsweresoonfullofpeoplebothapplaudingandcondemningSkenazy’sdecisiontolethersongoitalone.ShewoundupdefendingherselfonCNN(accompaniedbyherson)andonpopularblogslikeFromAmerica’sWorstMom.”vocalopposingcamps.AreModernparentsneedlesslyoverprotective,orisgenerationswereallowedtowanderaboutunsupervised?Fromthe“she’sanirresponsiblemother”campcame:“Shameonyouforbeingsocarelessabouthissafety,”inCommentsontheBuffingtonPost.Andtherewasthisfromamotheroffour:“Howwouldyouhavefeltifhedidn’tcomehome?”ButSkenazygotalotofsupport,too,withwomenandmenwritinginwithstoriesabouthowtheywereallowedtotaketripsallbythemselvesatsevenoreight.Shealsogotheapsofpraiseforbuckingthe“helicopterparent”trend:“GoodforthisMom,”onecommenterwroteontheBuffingtonPost.“Thisisamuch-neededrealitycheck.”Lastweek,encouragedbyalltheattention,Skenazystartedherownblog—FreeRange,kids—promotingtheideathatmodernchildrenneedsomeofthesameindependencethathergenerationhad.Inthegoodolddaysnine-year-andevensubways—allbythemselves.Herblog,shesays,isdedicatedtosensibleparenting.“AtFreeRangeKids,webelieveinsafekids.Webelieveincarseatsandsafetybelts.WedoNOTbelievethateverytimeschool-agechildrengooutside,theyneedasecurityguard.”Sowhyaresomeparentssonervousaboutlettingtheirchildrenoutoftheirsight?Arecitiesandtownslesssafeandkidsmorevulnerabletocrimeslikechildkidnapandsexualabusethantheywereinpreviousgenerations?Notexactly.NewYorkCity,forinstance,issaferthanit’severbeen;it’sranked36thincrimeamongallAmericancities.Nationwide,stringerkidnapsareextremelyrare;there’saone-in-a-millionchanceachildwillbetakenbyastranger,accordingtostranger,accordingtotheJusticeDepartment.And90percentofsexualabusecasesarecommittedbysomeonethechildknows.Mortalityratesfromallcauses,includingdiseaseandaccidents,forAmericanchildrenarelowernowthantheywere25years’ago.AccordingtoChildTrends,anonprofitresearchgroup,between1980and2003deathratesdroppedby44percentforchildrenaged5to14and32percentforteensaged15to19.Thenthere’sthewholequestionofwhethermodernparentsaremorewatchfulandnervousaboutsafetythanpreviousgenerations.Yes,someare.PartoftheproblemisthatwithwalltowallInternetandcablenews,everymissingchildcasegetssomuchairtimethatit’snotsurprisingevennormalparentalanxietycanbeamplified.Andmanymiddle-classparentshavegottenusedtomanagingtheirchildren’stimeandshuttlingthemtovariousenrichingactivities,sotheideaoflettingthemoutontheirowncanseemlikearisk.Backin1972,whenmanyoftoday’sparentswerekids,87percentofchildrenwholivedwithinamileofschoolwalkedorbikedeveryday.Buttoday,theCentersforDiseaseControlreportthatonly13percentofchildrenbike,walkorotherwisetthemselvestoschool.Theextrasupervisionisbothacityandasuburbphenomenon.Parentsareworriedaboutcrime,andtheyareworriedaboutkidsgettingcaughtintrafficinacitythat’snotusedtopedestrians.Ontheotherhand,therearestillplentyofkidswhoseparentsgivethemalotofindependence,bychoiceorbynecessity.TheAfterSchoolAlliancefindsthatmorethan14millionkidsaged5to17areresponsiblefortakingcareofthemselvesafterschool.Only6.5millionkidsparticipateinorganizedprograms.“Manychildrenwhohaveworkingparentshavetotakethesubwayorbustogettoschool.Manydothisbythemselvesbecausetheyhavenootherwaytogettotheschools,”saysDr.RichardGallagher,directoroftheParentingInstituteattheNewYorkUniversityChildStudyCenter.kidsmorefreedom,there’snoclear-cutanswer.Childexpertsdiscourageaone-size-fits-allapproachtoparenting.What’srightforSkenazy’snine-year-oldcouldbeinappropriateforanotherone.Italldependsondevelopmentalissue,maturity,andthepsychologicalandemotionalmakeupofthatchild.Severalfactorsmustbetakenintoaccount,saysGallagher.“Theabilitytofollowparentguidelines,thechild’slevelofcomfortinhandlingsuchsituations,andachild’sgeneraljudgmentshouldbeweighed.”GallagheragreeswithSkenazythatmanynine-year-oldsarereadyforindependenceliketakingpublictransportationalone.“Atcertaintimesoftheday,oncertainroutes,thesubwaysaregenerallysafeforthesechildren,especiallyiftheyhavegrownupinthecityandhavebeentaughthowtobesafe,howtoobtainhelpiftheyareconcernedfortheirsafety,andhowtoavoidunsafesituationsbybeingwatchfulandontheirtoes.”Butevenwithmoretrafficandfewersidewalks,modernparentsdohaveoneadvantagetheirparentsdidn’t:thecellphone.Beingabletocheckinwithachildanytimegoesachildanytimegoesalongwaytowardrelievingparentalanxietyandmayhelpparentsloosentheircontrolalittlesooner.Skenazygotalotofcriticismbecauseshedidn’tgiveherkidhercellphonebecauseshethoughthe’dloseitandwantedhimtolearntogoitalonewithoutdependingonmom—amajorprincipleoffree-rangeparenting.Butmostparentsaremorethanhappytousecellphonestokeeptrackoftheirkids.Andforthosewholiketheideaoffree-rangekidsbutstillstrugglewiththeirinnerhelicopterparent,theremaybeamiddleway.AnewgenerationofGPScellphoneswithtrackingsoftwaremakeiteasierthanevertofollowachild’severymovementviatheInternet—withoutseemingtointerfereorhover.Ofcourse,whentheygotocollege,theymightstartobjectingtobeingmonitoredasthey’reonparoleHowandwhenkidsmaybeallowedmorefreedomdependsontheirmaturityandpersonalqualities.Skenazy’sdecisiontolethersontaketheSubwayalonehasmetwithsomewhatmixedresponses.WhenLenoreSkenazy’ssonwasallowedtotakethesubwayalone,hehavingtheAccordingtoGallagherandSkenazy,childrenwhoarewatchfulwillbebetterabletostayawayfromunsafesituations.NowadayswiththehelpofGPScellphones,parentscan,fromadistance,theirchildren’sLenoreSkenazybelievesthatke
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