新標準大學英語四綜合教程Unit1-6課文與翻譯1

精品文檔精品文檔精品文檔精品文檔精品文檔精品文檔Ifyouaskme1Ifyouaskme,reallifeisnotallit'scrackeduptobe.Twelveyearsatschoolandthreeyearsatuniversity,teachersbangingonaboutopportunitiesinthebigwideworldbeyondourshelteredlifeasstudents,andwhatdoIfind?2TryasImighttostaycheerful,allIevergetishassle,sometimeswithpeople(especiallyboys,god,whenwilltheygrowup?),butmostlywithmoney.It'sjustsoexpensiveouthere!Everyonewantsasliceoffyou.TheInlandRevenuewantstodeductincometax,thebankmanagerwantsrepaymentsonmystudentloan,thelandlordwantstherent,gas,water,electricityandmymobilebillskeepcomingin,andallthat'sbeforeI'vehadanythingtoeat.Andthensomebrightsparkcallsmeoutoftheblue,askingifI'minterestedinbuyingapension.Atthisrate,Iwon'tevenlasttilltheendoftheyear,letalonetillI'm60.3Ididn'treallywanttogoouttoworkjustyet.Imean,Iwasn'tadropoutandIknewI'dhavetosomeday.Accordingtoanynumberofpeople"life'snotapicnic","there'snosuchthingasafreelunch".ButgiventhatI'dgotagooddegree,IthoughtI'dliketogoontogetmymaster's.Actually,IhadmyeyeonthecourseattheLondonSchoolofEconomics(LSE).Topschool,verygoodformyCV.ButItalkedtomymumaboutit,andshesaidshecouldn'taffordtosupportmeanymore.Ikindofunderstandit,andnotjustbecausemydegreeisineconomics.She'dworkedhardfor15yearstogivemeaneducation.Mydadwasn'taroundmostofthetime,andwhenhewas,hedidn'thaveanymoney.He'dspentitgamblingonthedogsordownthepub.SoitcametothepointwhenIjustagreedwithMum,andbowedmyselftowardstheinevitable.Ifyouaskme,anddespiteeverythingyouhear,fortunatelytherearesomereallynicepeopleoutthere.TakeMike,forexample.WhenIleftuniversity,whatIthoughtwasthatmymumwouldfeelobligedtolookaftermeifIreturnedhome.SoIpackedupmybelongingsandwenttoLondontogetajob.Iwantedsomethinginfinanceandinvestments,becauseyouknow,maybewithajoblikethat,Icouldusemydegree.Butbythattime,therewerenojobsleft,andIdidn'treallywanttoendupinsomeboringoffice,doingphotocopiesandmakingthetea.GoanywhereyoulikeinLondonandthere'susuallyagoodpub.ThedayIrealizednooneinthecitywasgoingtooffermeajob,IwentintoTheSalisburyonLeadenhallStreetforadrinkandsomethingtoeat.Mikethelandlordwasatthebar,pouringpintswithonehand,makingsandwicheswiththeother,andwashingtheglassesallatthesametime—it'strue,hereallydidseemtohavethreehands.Healsoseemedtoknoweveryone,andgreetedtheregularsbyname,gettingtheirdrinksreadywiththequestion,"Theusualtoday,isit?"Ithoughthelookedkindofcool,hewasdoingwhathedidbest,servingthirstyclients,andnoonediditbetter.SoIwentuptohimandaskedhimwhethertherewasajobforme.Well,tocutalongstoryshort,IstartedworkinthepuboneFridaylunchtime.Itwasquitedemandingwork,butIlikedit.Peopleseemedtofindmeamusinganditmademefeelbettertoo.Therewasonemiddle-agedregularinasuitwhoalwayshadahalfofbitterandahamandpicklesandwich,withthecrustscutoff.WhenIsawTonycoming,Itriedtohavehislunchreadyforhimevenbeforeheasked.Hewasanotheroneofthosereallynicepeople.Ifyouaskme,spendingmoneywhenyoudon'thaveanyisdeadeasy.IbegantothinkabouthowI'dspendmyfirstmonth'swages.TheflatwhereIwasstayingwasexpensive,andIjustabouthadenoughtocoverthefirstmonth'ssubstantialbills.ButIcalculatedthatthere'dbejustenoughmoneyovertotreatmyselftosomething.WhynotgetaCDormaybeaplanttocheeruptheflat?Ithought.Itwasmybirthdayonpayday.ApartfromMikeandTony,Ididn'thaveanyfriendsinLondon.SeeingthatIdidn'thaveaboyfriendeither,youcanunderstandwhyIbegantofeelsorryformyself.SoIorderedmyselfsomeflowers,andaskedthemtobesentwithalittlecard,saying"WithallmyloveAnon."Thehighlightofmybirthdaywouldbetheconfusedlookontheflorist'seyeswhenhedeliveredthem.Laterthatweek,Tonycameinasusualandsatdownatthebar."What'swrongwithyou?Where'sthatsmilegonetoday?"Italkedtohimabout...well,aboutprettywelleverything,money,themaster's,mybirthday,thelot.Hesympathizedwithme.Tonygotupfromhisstool,andwentovertotalktosomeoftheothers.Remember:TheSalisburyisrightintheheartofthecity,soallthecustomerswereinbankingorinsuranceorthestockmarket.Nextdayheturnedupwithchequestothevalueof￡20,000."Thisisaloanforyoutosetupyourbusiness.Theonlycollateralyouhaveismytrustinyouthatoneday,you'llpayusback—ifyoucan.Andifyoucan't,toobad,that'sthefinancebusinessforyou.ButIthinkyouwill."Ididn'tsayanythingforfearthatIwasgoingtocry.Whatweretheoddsonanyonebeingsonice?12 Andtheflowers?Iredirectedthemtomymum,andtheyarrivedforheronmybirthday.Shedeservedthem,don'tyouthink?Ifyouaskme,lookingbackafteralltheseyears,youonlyneedoneortwobreaksinyourlifetosucceed.Thefactthattherestishardworkdoesn'tmatter,it'sstillworthit.AfterayearworkingatTheSalisbury,IgotaplaceattheLSE,didmymaster'sandfoundajobinaninvestmentbank.Iinvestedthe￡20,000,andsoldoutbeforethe2008crash.IpaidbackTonyandtheotherinvestors,withtenpercentannualinterest,andsetupmyownfirm.Itexceededallmyexpectationsandisstillathrivingbusiness.Tonywrotemeathank-younote.He'dbeeninacaraccident,andcouldn'twalk.ThemoneyIpaidbackwouldallowhimtoadapthishousesohecouldmovearounditinhiswheelchair.Thisiswhathewrote:"Thirty-fiveyearsinbanking,andI'venevermadeabetterinvestmentthantheloantoyou.You'verepaidthemoneywithinterest,andmytrustinyouandyourhonesty100-fold.Ifyouaskme,investinginpeoplegivesthebestreturnyoucaneverhopefor."Ifyouaskme,he'sright.Whatdoyouthink?依我看依我看，現(xiàn)實生活并沒有人們想象的那么好。我們上了12年的中、小學，又上了3年的大學，這期間老師們一直在沒完沒了地談論在備受呵護的學生生活之外的那個廣闊天地里的各種機會，可我遇到的又是什么呢？無論我怎么想保持心情愉快，可麻煩事總是接踵而來：有時是和人發(fā)生矛盾（尤其是跟男孩子，天哪！他們什么時候才能長大？），但通常是為錢發(fā)愁。這個地方什么東西都很貴！人人都想從我身上賺點錢：稅務局要收個人所得稅，銀行經(jīng)理要我償清學生貸款，房東催我交房租、燃氣費、水費、電費，手機賬單也不斷地寄來。所有這些還沒算上吃飯的錢。更可氣的是，不知從哪里冒出一個自作聰明的家伙給我打電話，問我要不要買養(yǎng)老金。照這樣下去，我甚至都支撐不到年底，更別提活到60歲領養(yǎng)老金了。我那時還不想出去工作。我的意思是，我并不是個逃避現(xiàn)實社會的人，但我知道自己未來某一天可能不得不逃避現(xiàn)實。許多人認為“生活不是野餐”，“沒有免費的午餐”。但既然我拿到了優(yōu)等生文憑，我想我應該繼續(xù)攻讀碩士學位。實際上，我已經(jīng)看中了倫敦政治經(jīng)濟學院的課程。這是一所頂尖的學校，能給我的履歷表增添一段光彩的經(jīng)歷。但當我跟媽媽談起這件事時，她說她沒法繼續(xù)供我上學了。我大概能理解她的心情，但并不僅僅是因為我學的是經(jīng)濟學。15年來，為了能讓我上學，她含辛茹苦。這些年來，父親大部分時間都不在家。就算在家，他也沒錢。他把錢都拿去賭狗、喝酒了。所以我聽了媽媽的話，向命運低下了頭。依我看，不管人們說什么，幸運的是世上還有很多好心人。邁克就是其中的一個。大學畢業(yè)時，我想如果我回家，媽媽就會覺得她有責任照顧我。所以，我就收拾行李去倫敦找工作。我想找金融和投資方面的職位，因為你知道這樣我就可以用上我的專業(yè)知識?？墒悄菚r候已經(jīng)沒有這樣的工作了，但我又不愿意做復印文件、端茶倒水之類的乏味的辦公室工作。在倫敦，無論走到什么地方，你都能找到一個好酒吧。有一天，我意識到這個城市沒有人會雇我，于是我走進位于利德賀街的索爾茲伯里酒吧去喝酒，順便吃點東西。店主邁克正在店里，他一只手倒酒，一只手做三明治，同時還洗酒杯。他真的好像有三只手。他好像也認識所有的客人，叫得出?？偷拿帧Ｋ麄兇蛘泻?，幫他們調(diào)好酒，并問一句：“今天還喝這個，是吧？”我覺得他看起來蠻酷的，他在做著他最擅長的事情：為那些口渴的顧客服務，沒人能比得上他。所以我就走上前去問他要不要雇人。好吧，長話短說，某個周五的午餐時間我開始在那個酒吧打工。這份工作要求很高，但我喜歡。顧客好像覺得我很有趣，這也讓我感覺好一些。有位穿西服的中年常客總要半杯苦啤酒和一份火腿泡菜三明治，面包皮要削掉。他叫托尼。我一看見他進來，盡量不等他開口就準備好他的午餐。他也是一個好心人。依我看，一個人沒錢的時候花錢最容易。我開始琢磨怎么花第一個月的薪水了。我住的公寓房租很貴，我掙的錢剛夠支付第一個月的大筆賬單，但是我估計還能剩點錢好好犒勞一下自己。我想，何不買張CD或買盆花草裝點一下房間？發(fā)工資的那天正好是我的生日，除了邁克和托尼，我在倫敦就沒有別的朋友了。如果你知道我那時還沒有男朋友，你就會理解我為什么覺得對不起自己了。我給自己定了些鮮花，讓賣花的人附上一張卡片，上面寫道：“給你我所有的愛。無名氏”。我生日那天最精彩的瞬間將會是送花人送我花時大惑不解的眼神。那周晚些時候，托尼像往常一樣來了，在酒吧里坐下?！澳阍趺戳?？今天怎么不見你笑啦？”我跟他聊天……嗯，差不多什么都跟他說了：錢、碩士學位、生日、命運。他很同情我。托尼離開擱腳凳、走過去和另外幾個人說話。別忘了：索爾茲伯里酒吧位于市中心，所以這里所有的顧客都從事銀行、保險或證券工作。第二天，他拿著價值兩萬英鎊的幾張支票來到酒吧，對我說：“這是給你的創(chuàng)業(yè)貸款，你唯一的貸款擔保就是我對你的信任，相信有一天你賺了錢會把錢還給我們。如果你還不了錢，那就太糟了，不過對你來說，也算是做過金融生意了。但是，我相信你還得了。”我沒說話，我怕我自己要哭了。世上怎么會有這么好的人？那些花怎么處理？我叫花店改送到媽媽那里去了，我生日那天鮮花正好送到。她應該得到這些鮮花，不是嗎？依我看，回顧這些年的經(jīng)歷，我發(fā)現(xiàn)人一輩子只需要一兩次的機緣就能成功。就算吃苦受累也不要緊，那還是值得的。在索爾茲伯里酒吧干了一年之后，我去了倫敦政治經(jīng)濟學院深造。拿到碩士學位之后，我在一家投資銀行找到了一份工作。我把那兩萬英鎊投進了證券市場，在2008年金融崩盤之前賣掉了所有的股票。我把托尼和其他投資者的錢還了，付給他們10%的年息，并成立了自己的公司。公司的生意好得出乎意料，至今還紅紅火火。托尼給我寫了一封感謝信。他出了車禍，現(xiàn)在不能走路了。我還給他的錢正好可以用來改造房子。房子改造后他就可以坐著輪椅在家里自由活動了。下面是他信里寫的話：“我從事銀行業(yè)35年來最好的投資就是給你的這筆貸款，你連本帶利地償還了貸款，我對你的信任和你的誠實都獲得了百倍的回報。依我看，在人身上投資能帶來你所期望的最好的回報?！币牢铱?，他說得對。你說呢？Theywerealiveandtheyspoketome1Isitinalittleroom,onewallofwhichisnowcompletelylinedwithbooks.ItisthefirsttimeIhavehadtheleisureofworkingwithanythinglikeacollectionofbooks.Thereareprobablynomorethan500inall,butforthemostparttheyrepresentmyownchoice.Itisthefirsttime,sinceIbeganmywritingcareer,thatIamsurroundedwithagoodlynumberofthebooksIhavealwayslongedtopossess.Thefact,however,thatinthepastIdidmostofmyworkwithouttheaidofalibraryIlookuponasanadvantageratherthanadisadvantage.OneofthefirstthingsIassociatewiththereadingofbooksisthestruggleIwagedtoobtainthem.Nottoownthem,mindyou,buttolayhandsonthem.FromthemomentthepassiontookholdofmeIencounterednothingbutobstacles.ThebooksIwanted,atthepubliclibrary,werealwaysout.AndofcourseIneverhadthemoneytobuythem.Togetpermissionfromthelibraryinmyneighborhood—Iwas18or19yearsofage—toborrowsucha"demoralizing"workasTheConfessionofaFool,byStrindberg,wasjustimpossible.Inthosedaysthebookswhichyoungpeoplewereprohibitedfromreadingweredecoratedwithstars—one,twoorthree—accordingtothedegreeofimmoralityattributedtothem.Isuspectthisprocedurestillobtains.Ihopeso,forIknowofnothingbettercalculatedtowhetone'sappetitethanthisstupidsortofclassificationandprohibition.Whatmakesabooklive?Howoftenthisquestionarises!Theanswer,inmyopinion,issimple.Abooklivesthroughthepassionaterecommendationofonereadertoanother.Nothingcanthrottlethisbasicimpulseinthehumanbeing.Despitetheviewsofcynicsandmisanthropes,itismybeliefthatmenwillalwaysstrivetosharetheirdeepestexperiences.Booksareoneofthefewthingsmencherishdeeply.Andthebetterthemanthemoreeasilywillhepartwithhismostcherishedpossessions.Abooklyingidleonashelfiswastedammunition.Likemoney,booksmustbekeptinconstantcirculation.Lendandborrowtothemaximum—ofbothbooksandmoney!Butespeciallybooks,forbooksrepresentinfinitelymorethanmoney.Abookisnotonlyafriend,itmakesfriendsforyou.Whenyouhavepossessedabookwithmindandspirit,youareenriched.Butwhenyoupassitonyouareenrichedthreefold.Hereanirrepressibleimpulseseizesmetoofferapieceofgratuitousadvice.Itisthis:Readaslittleaspossible,notasmuchaspossible!Oh,donotdoubtthatIhaveenviedthosewhohavedrownedinbooks.I,too,wouldsecretlyliketowadethroughallthosebooksIhavesolongtoyedwithinmymind.ButIknowitisnotimportant.IknownowthatIdidnotneedtoreadevenatenthofwhatIhaveread.Themostdifficultthinginlifeistolearntodoonlywhatisstrictlyadvantageoustoone'swelfare,strictlyvital.6 ThereisanexcellentwaytotestthispreciousbitofadviceIhavenotgivenrashly.Whenyoustumbleuponabookyouwouldliketoread,orthinkyououghttoread,leaveitaloneforafewdays.Butthinkaboutitasintenselyasyoucan.Letthetitleandtheauthor'snamerevolveinyourmind.Thinkwhatyouyourselfmighthavewrittenhadtheopportunitybeenyours.Askyourselfearnestlyifitbeabsolutelynecessarytoaddthisworktoyourstoreofknowledgeoryourfundofenjoyment.Trytoimaginewhatitwouldmeantoforegothisextrapleasureorenlightenment.Then,ifyoufindyoumustreadthebook,observewithwhatextraordinaryacumenyoutackleit.Observe,too,thathoweverstimulatingitmaybe,verylittleofthebookisreallynewtoyou.Ifyouarehonestwithyourselfyouwilldiscoverthatyourstaturehasincreasedfromthemereeffortofresistingyourimpulses.7Indubitablythevastmajorityofbooksoverlaponeanother.Fewindeedarethosewhichgivetheimpressionoforiginality,eitherinstyleorincontent.Rarearetheuniquebooks—lessthan50,perhaps,outofthewholestorehouseofliterature.Inoneofhisrecentautobiographicalnovels,BlaiseCendrarspointsoutthatRémydeGourmont,becauseofhisknowledgeandawarenessofthisrepetitivequalityinbooks,wasabletoselectandreadallthatisworthwhileintheentirerealmofliterature.Cendrarshimself—whowouldsuspectit?—isaprodigiousreader.Hereadsmostauthorsintheiroriginaltongue.Notonlythat,butwhenhelikesanauthorhereadseverylastbookthemanhaswritten,aswellashislettersandallthebooksthathavebeenwrittenabouthim.Inourdayhiscaseisalmostunparalleled,Iimagine.For,notonlyhashereadwidelyanddeeply,buthehashimselfwrittenagreatmanybooks.Allontheside,asitwere.For,ifheisanything,Cendrars,heisamanofaction,anadventurerandexplorer,amanwhohasknownhowto"waste"histimeroyally.Heis,inasense,theJuliusCaesarofliterature.它們是活生生的，而且它們在跟我說話我坐在一間小屋子里，屋子的一面墻邊排滿了書。這是我頭一次有閑功夫和一堆書這樣的東西打交道。所有的書加起來最多不超過500本，但大多數(shù)是我自己挑的。自打我開始寫作生涯以來，我第一次得到我一直渴望擁有的這么多書。事實上，我過去的大多數(shù)工作都不依靠圖書館，我把這看成是優(yōu)勢，而不是劣勢。我想到的與讀書相關的頭一件事就是奪書大戰(zhàn)。請注意，不是擁有它們，而是要把它們搞到手。從我對書著迷開始，我就面對著重重困難。公共圖書館里我要借的書總是被借出去了，當然，我又沒錢買書。我那時只有十八九歲，要想得到社區(qū)圖書館的批準借閱類似斯特林堡寫的《癡人的懺悔》這樣“不道德”的書是不可能的。在那個年代，年輕人禁讀的書都根據(jù)其違背道德的程度被標記了星星——一顆星、兩顆星、三顆星。我猜想，這種做法至今依然存在。我也希望如此，因為我知道，沒有任何別的方法比這種愚蠢的分類和禁止更能吊起讀者的胃口。我經(jīng)常思考一個問題，那就是是什么讓一本書有了生命力？我覺得答案很簡單：一本書之所以有生命力，是因為讀者滿懷激情地推薦它。這是人的基本沖動，什么都阻擋不了。不管憤世嫉俗者和遁世者持何種觀點，我相信人們總是會盡力分享自己感觸最深的經(jīng)驗。書是人類最為珍愛的幾樣東西之一。人越好，就越愿意與他人分享自己的珍藏。擱置在書架上、無人翻閱的書就像是廢棄的彈藥。書和錢一樣要流通起來，要最大限度地流通起來！尤其是書，因為書所代表的東西比錢要多得多。書不僅是朋友，它還可以幫你結(jié)交朋友。當你在精神上、心靈上擁有一本書的時候，你的人生就變得豐富多彩。而當你把書轉(zhuǎn)給別人的時候，你的人生就更加豐富。說到這里，有一種抑制不住的沖動讓我向大家提出一條無端的忠告。那就是：讀書盡量少而精，而不是越多越好！唉，不要懷疑我嫉妒那些在書堆里埋頭讀書的人。我私下里也確實想盡力讀完所有一直想讀的書。但是，我知道這并不重要，我現(xiàn)在知道我讀過的書中只有不到十分之一是我需要讀的。人生中最難辦到的事情莫過于學會只做對自己有益的事情，這是至關重要的。我是經(jīng)過慎重考慮才提出這條寶貴的忠告的，有一個高招可以檢驗它是否有效。當你碰到一本你想讀或覺得該讀的書的時候，先把書擱下，放幾天再說。但你要多琢磨這本書，仔細琢磨書名和作者的名字。想想如果讓你來寫這本書，你會寫些什么。認真地問問自己是否有必要把這本書納入自己的知識庫或娛樂儲備。盡力想象一下，放棄這份額外的樂趣或啟迪對你將意味著什么？之后，如果你覺得你必須讀這本書，那么觀察一下你在“啃”這本書的時候是否表現(xiàn)出非凡的洞察力。同時你也觀察一下：即使這本書很誘人，它也許并沒有給你帶來什么新的東西。只要坦誠對己，你就會發(fā)現(xiàn)：只要抑制住自己的沖動，你的境界就提高了。不容置疑的是，大多數(shù)書都互相重復，在文體或內(nèi)容上讓人感到具有獨創(chuàng)性的書實在是少之又少。在整個文學庫藏中，只有極少數(shù)作品——或許不到50本——是獨具一格的。在最近出版的一部自傳體小說中，布萊斯?桑德拉爾指出，古爾蒙之所以能夠選擇并通讀文學領域中一切值得讀的書籍，就是因為他知識淵博，并且了解書的這種重復性。桑德拉爾本人就是一個博覽群書的人，沒有人會懷疑這一點。他閱讀了大部分作家的原作。不僅如此，一旦他喜歡上一個作家，他就會閱讀這個作家寫的每一本書，包括他的書信以及所有有關他的書籍。我猜想，在當今世界上，幾乎沒有人能像他一樣，不僅讀得廣、讀得精，而且還著述頗豐?？梢哉f這一切都是在業(yè)余時間完成的。因為桑德拉爾是一個十足的行動家，一個四處跋涉的冒險家和探險家，一個懂得如何“肆意浪費”時間的人。從某種意義上說，他是文學界的凱撒大帝。TheKeytoWeddedBliss?MoneyMatters1Ifyouaskmarriedpeoplewhytheirmarriageworks,theyareprobablynotgoingtosayit'sbecausetheyfoundtheirfinancialsoulmate.Butiftheyarelucky,theyhave.Marryingapersonwhosharesyourattitudesaboutmoneymightjustbethesmartestfinancialdecisionyouwillevermake.Infact,whenitcomestofinances,yourmarriageislikelytobeyourmostvaluableasset—oryourlargestliability.Marryingforloveisarelativelyrecentphenomenon.Forcenturies,marriageswerearrangedaffairs,aligningfamiliesforeconomicorpoliticalpurposesorsimplypoolingtheresourcesofthosescrapingby.Today,whilemostofusmarryforromanticreasons,marriageatitscoreisstillafinancialunion.Somuchofwhatwewant—ordon'twant—outoflifeboilsdowntodollarsandcents,whetherit'showhardwechoosetowork,howmuchweconsumeorhowmuchwesave.Forsomepeople,it'sworking80-hourweekstofinanceathirdhomeandcountryclubmembership;forothers,itmeanscuttingbackonofficehourstospendmoretimewiththefamily.5"Alotofthedebatespeoplehaveaboutmoneyarecodeforhowwewanttoliveourlives,"saidBetseyStevenson,assistantprofessorofbusinessandpublicpolicyattheUniversityofPennsylvania'sWhartonSchool,whoresearchestheeconomicsofmarriageanddivorce."Alotofthechoiceswemakeinhowwewanttoliveourlivesinvolvehowwespendourmoney."Makingthosechoicesasateamisoneofthemostimportantwaystopreserveyourmaritalassets,andyourunion,expertssay.Butit'sthatmucheasierwhenyoualreadysharesimilaroutlooksonmoneymatters—orwhenyoucan,attheveryleast,findsomemiddleground.Theeconomiesachievedbypairinguparefairlyobvious.However,thecostsofdivorcecanbefinanciallydevastating,especiallywhenchildrenareinvolved.And,notsurprisingly,moneymanagestoforceawidewedgebetweenmanycouples."Mostpeoplethinkpeoplebreakupoversexissuesandchildrenissues—andthoseareissues—butmoneyisahugefactorinbreakingupmarriages,"saidSusanReachWinters,adivorcelawyerinShortHills,N.J.Noteveryoneismarriedtoafinancialtwin,andthat'snotnecessarilyaproblem.Thereareseveralwaysthatyouandyoursignificantothercanbecomemorecompatible,andultimatelymoreprosperous,whenitcomestomoney.Theseguidelinesarecompiledfromthesuccessfullymarriedandfromexpertsonpsychology,divorceandfinance:TALKANDSHAREGOALSBeforewalkingdowntheaisle,couplesshouldhaveatalkabouttheirfinancialhealthandgoals.Theyshouldaskeachothertoughquestions:Dowewantchildren?When?Whowillcareforthem?Willtheygotopublicorprivateschool?Whatkindoflifedowewant?Whenwillweretire?"Inmyidealplanforcouples,theywouldhaveameetingeveryweekontheirfinances,"saidKarenAltfest,afinancialplannerwhorunstheNewYorkfirmL.J.Altfest&Company,withherhusband,Lewis."Thatway,theyareinsyncwitheachother'sgoals."Setthosegoalstogether.JerryBallard,58,aformerinsuranceexecutiveinHouston,saidthatheandhiswifeof36years,Susan,also58,managedtoavoidmoneyclashesbecausetheyshareasavingsphilosophy."Thecardinalrulewasthatwedon'tinterruptoursavings,"hesaid,addingthattheysavedbetween10and20percentoftheirsalarieseachyear.Aslongastheydidthat,theywerelesslikelytodisagreeaboutspending.EricGundlach,53,ofOwingsMills,Md.,whohasbeenmarriedfor29years,saidheandhiswife,Ann-Michele,"madeourexpectationsexplicit."Theseincludedsendingtheirsontoprivateschoolandhavingbigexperiences,liketraveling,inlieuofpurchasingthings.RUNAHOMELIKEABUSINESSMakeabudgetandkeeptrackofearnings,expensesanddebts.Andstructureyourbusinessasapartnership;whenitcomestomakingbigfinancialdecisionsandsettinggoals,doittogether."Whentheyaremakingthedecisionstogether,theyreallyhaveownershipofthosedecisionsandanyresultsofthosedecisions,"saidMaryAnnSisco,nationalwealthadvisoratJPMorgan'sprivatewealthmanagementdivision."Evenifyouhavenegativeresults,youtendtoweatherthestormbetter."Shareresponsibilitiestoo.Thoughonepartnertendstocontrolthefinances,advisorsrecommendrotatingtasks.Onepersonshouldhandleinvestmentsforacertainperiod,whiletheotherpaysthebills;rotateandrepeat.BESUPPORTIVEOFCAREERSHavingasupportivepartnerhelpsyouprofessionally,whichshouldtrickledowntoyourmutualbottomline."Marryingtherightpersonhelpsyousucceedinyourcareerthroughencouragementandsupport,theonlykindofsupportthatcomesthroughasupportive,intimaterelationship,"saidMr.Gundlach,whosewifebackedhisdecisiontostartamanagementconsultingpracticeafter22yearsasahumanresourcesexecutive.ENJOY,BUTWITHINREASONCreateacashcushion,andlivealifestyleyoucansustain.ManypeoplewhowereworkingathedgefundsthatwentbustorfinancialfirmslikeBearStearnsarelearningtheselessonsnow.Ms.Sisco,ofJPMorgan,saidthatbecauseheryoungerclientshaven'texperiencedadownturn,theyassumedthemoneywouldkeeppouringin.Shesaidsheisworkingwithonecoupleintheirearly30swhohavetwoyoungchildren.RightbeforethehusbandlosthisjobonWallStreet,thecouplehadordered$35,000drapes.TheyhadtomovetoasmallerapartmentinManhattanandhadtoselltheirvacationhome.USEAMEDIATORPerhapsbothofyouhavestrongyetdivergentopinionsabouthowtoinvest.OrmaybeyouareasaverwhileyourspousepreferstohandoverabigpieceofearningstoBavarianMotorWorks.Anindependentthirdparty,whetherafinancialplanneroratherapist,canhelpyoufindamiddleground.MarcB.Schindler,afinancialplanneratPivotPointAdvisorsinBellaire,Tex.,recentlydidthisforaclientwhocomplainedthathiswifespentathousanddollarsamonthonherwardrobe.Mr.Schindlerthencontactedthewife,whosaidherhusbandspentjustasmuchondinnerwithhisbuddies.SothehusbandaskedMr.Schindlertoshowhowmuchtheywouldsaveiftheyinvestedthe$12,000shespenteachyear.Mr.Schindler—carefultotitlethereport"Clothing,DinnerorInvested?"—ranananalysisandfoundthatthecouplewouldhave$1.6millionafter28years,assuminga9percentrateofreturn."Theyaregoingtotryandcompromise,"hesaid.MAINTAINSOMEINDEPENDENCEPoolingresourcesisimportant,butsoismaintainingadegreeoffinancialindependence.Carveoutsomemoneyforbothpartnerstospendonthingsthatmakethemhappy.Andwhenparingback,it'sessentialthateachpersonmakesacrifices.INVESTINYOURMARRIAGESpendit—timeandmoney—together.Goondates."Whatthatdoesisenliventhemaritalfoundation,"saidGaryS.Shunk,aChicagotherapistwhospecializesinwealthissues."It'sakindofinvestmentintotheheartandsouloftherelationship."Thinkofitasdollar-costaveragingyourmarriage,whereyoumakesmallinvestmentsovertime.Ifyouwaituntilretirement,itcouldbetoolate.婚姻幸福的奧秘是什么？金錢才是關鍵假如你詢問已婚人士婚姻成功的奧秘在哪里，他們可能不會說那是因為找到了持相同金錢觀的知己。但如果他們幸運的話，他們一定是找到了這樣的知己。和金錢觀相同的人結(jié)婚很可能就是一輩子最聰明的財務決策。事實上，就財務而言，婚姻可能是你最有價值的資產(chǎn)——或者最大的一筆債務。近年來，人們?yōu)閻鄱Y(jié)婚。但在此前的幾個世紀，婚姻都是包辦的，家庭聯(lián)姻或出于經(jīng)濟或政治目的，或僅僅是為了使家境不好的家庭集中兩家的財力，以維持生計。如今，盡管我們大多數(shù)人是因相愛而結(jié)婚，婚姻從根本上講仍然是金錢上的結(jié)合。不管是工作的努力程度，還是決定消費多少或儲蓄多少，我們生活中想要得到的——或不想得到的——許多東西歸根結(jié)底都跟錢有關。對有些人來說，他們想要的就是一周工作80小時來支付第三套房的房款和鄉(xiāng)村俱樂部的會員費；而對另一些人來說，他們想縮短上班時間，花更多的時間陪伴家人?！瓣P于錢的許多爭論是提示我們想如何生活的密碼，而生活方式的許多選擇則與如何花錢密切相關?！辟e夕法尼亞大學沃頓商學院的商業(yè)及公共政策助理教授貝齊?史蒂文森如是說，他研究婚姻和離婚經(jīng)濟學。專家們說，夫妻共同做出這些選擇是維護婚姻資產(chǎn)及婚姻關系的最重要的方法之一。當然，如果夫妻雙方一開始就在錢的問題上看法相似，或者至少能夠在錢的問題上相互妥協(xié)，那么事情就好辦多了。聯(lián)姻的經(jīng)濟效益很可觀，但離婚的代價卻是毀滅性的，尤其是有了孩子之后。毫不奇怪，金錢也造成了許多夫妻間的不和。新澤西州秀特山市的離婚律師蘇珊?里奇?溫特斯說：“大多數(shù)人認為婚姻破裂是因為性或孩子的問題。這些的確是問題，但金錢也是導致婚姻破裂的一個重要因素?！辈⒎敲總€人都能找到金錢觀一致的伴侶，當然找不到也不一定就成為問題。在金錢的問題上，有幾種方法能讓你和你的另一半更加融洽，更加富有。下面這些指導原則是由婚姻成功人士以及心理學、離婚和理財專家共同制定的：互相交流，確定共同目標步入婚姻殿堂之前，男女雙方要聊聊各自的財務狀況及目標。他們要互相問對方一些棘手的問題：我們要不要孩子？什么時候要孩子？誰來照看孩子？要送他們上公立學校還是私立學校？ 我們想過怎樣的生活？我們什么時候退休？理財規(guī)劃人卡倫?阿爾特費斯特與她的丈夫劉易斯在紐約經(jīng)營L.J.阿爾特費斯特財務管理公司，她說：“在我為夫妻設計的理想方案中，夫妻雙方每周都要討論家庭的財務問題。這樣，他們才能保持目標一致?！币黄鹬朴喣繕恕＝芾?巴拉德今年58歲，曾在休斯敦擔任過保險總監(jiān)。他說他和結(jié)婚36年的同齡妻子蘇珊之所以能夠避免理財方面的矛盾是因為他們都堅守了存款信條。他說：“我們的基本原則是絕不中斷存款?！彼a充說，他們每年把10％到20％的工資存起來。只要持之以恒，他們在花銷方面就不太會產(chǎn)生分歧。馬里蘭州奧因斯米爾斯市的埃里克 ?岡拉克今年53歲，已結(jié)婚29年。他說他和妻子安?米歇爾“開誠布公地披露各自的期望?！边@些期望包括：送兒子去私立學校讀書；有重大的人生體驗，如外出旅游，而不是購物。像經(jīng)營企業(yè)一樣經(jīng)營家庭制定收支預算，記錄收入、支出及債務。夫妻雙方應該像合伙人一樣管理家庭財務，做重大財務決定和制定目標時，雙方要互相協(xié)商。 摩根大通集團私人財富管理部的國家理財顧問瑪麗?安?西斯科說：“夫婦雙方一起參與決策時，他們都是決策的制訂者，要共同承擔決策的結(jié)果。即使結(jié)果是負面的，他們也能更好地共度難關?！彪p方也應該分擔責任。雖然通常是夫妻中的一方負責理財，婚姻顧問還是建議他們輪流負責。 在一段時間內(nèi)，一方可以負責投資，另一方則負責付賬；過一段時間之后兩人可以互換角色，如此重復更替。支持對方的事業(yè)一位支持你的伴侶可以幫助你在事業(yè)上取得成功，這也會一點一滴地增加你們的銀行存款。岡拉克先生說：“和合適的人結(jié)婚能鼓勵你、支持你，有助于你在事業(yè)上取得成功。這種支持來自夫妻間互相扶持的親密關系?！彼钠拮釉谒隽?2年的人力資源經(jīng)理之后支持他改行自己創(chuàng)業(yè)，做管理咨詢。在合理的范圍內(nèi)享受要有一定的現(xiàn)金儲備。生活中適度消費，并維持這種生活方式。在已經(jīng)破產(chǎn)的對沖基金或像貝爾斯登這樣的金融公司工作過的許多人現(xiàn)在正在接受這方面的教訓。摩根大通集團的西斯科女士說：一些年輕客戶由于從來沒有經(jīng)歷過經(jīng)濟衰退，他們以為錢會源源不斷地涌進來。她說她正在給一對30出頭、育有兩個孩子的夫婦提供咨詢服務。就在丈夫失去華爾街的工作之前，他們剛剛訂購了價值3.5萬美元的窗簾。之后，他們不得不搬到曼哈頓的一套較小的公寓里居住，連度假屋也賣掉了。借助調(diào)停人化解矛盾也許你們雙方在投資問題上意見不一致，而且都很強硬。或者說也許你希望多儲蓄，而你的配偶寧可花一大筆錢去買德國寶馬汽車的股票。一個獨立的第三方，無論是理財師還是心理治療師，都可以幫你們找到雙方都可以接受的方案。得克薩斯州貝萊爾市軸心點咨詢公司的理財規(guī)劃師馬克?B.辛德勒最近就為一位抱怨妻子每月花1,000美元買衣服的顧客解決了難題。辛德勒先生聯(lián)系到他的妻子，而她則抱怨丈夫每月花同樣多的錢跟朋友吃飯。那位丈夫要辛德勒先生計算一下，如果他們把她一年花在衣服上的1.2萬美元用來投資，他們能攢多少錢。辛德勒先生寫了一份題為“衣服、吃飯，還是投資？”的報告，他在報告的題目上頗費了一番心思。經(jīng)過分析，他得出了結(jié)論：假設回報率為9%的話，這對夫妻在28年后將得到160萬美元的收入。他說：“他們會盡量互相讓步?！北３忠欢ǖ莫毩⑿怨蚕碣Y源固然重要，但保持一定程度的財務獨立性也很重要。要留出一些錢來滿足夫妻雙方各自的需求。當需要縮減消費時，雙方都要做出犧牲，這一點很重要。為婚姻投資夫妻雙方要互相陪伴，一起消費。他們應繼續(xù)約會，“這樣做能使婚姻的基礎更加牢固，是對夫妻關系的情感投資?！币晃粚９ダ碡攩栴}的芝加哥心理治療師加里?S.尚克這樣說。你可以把這個看作是對婚姻的定投，你只需堅持長期進行小額投資就行了。如果你等到退休才做這件事，也許就來不及了。Marked:Womenintheworkplace1Theterm"marked"isastapleoflinguistictheory.Itreferstothewaylanguagealtersthebasemeaningofawordbyaddingsomething—alittlelinguisticadditionthathasnomeaningonitsown.Theunmarkedformofawordcarriesthemeaningthatgoeswithoutsaying,whatyouthinkofwhenyou'renotthinkinganythingspecial.TheunmarkedtenseofverbsinEnglishisthepresent—forexample,visit.Toindicatepast,youhavetomarktheverbfor"past"byaddingedtoyieldvisited.Forfuture,youaddaword:willvisit.Nounsarepresumedtobesingularuntilmarkedforplural.Toconveytheideaofmorethanone,wetypicallyaddsomething,usuallysores.Morethanonevisitbecomesvisits,andonedishbecomestwodishes,thankstothepluralmarking.TheunmarkedformsofmostEnglishwordsalsoconvey"male".Beingmaleistheunmarkedcase.Wehaveendings,suchasessandette,tomarkwordsasfemale.Unfortunately,markingwordsforfemalealso,byassociation,tendstomarkthemforfrivolousness.Wouldyoufeelsafeentrustingyourlifetoadoctorette?Thisiswhymanypoetsandactorswhohappentobefemaleobjecttothemarkedformspoetessandactress.AlfreWoodard,anOscarnomineeforBestSupportingActress,sayssheidentifiesherselfasanactorbecause"actressesworryabouteyelashesandcellulite,andwomenwhoareactorsworryaboutthecharactersweareplaying".Anymarkedformcanpickupextrameaningbeyondwhatthemarkingisintendedtodenote.Theextrameaningscarriedbygendermarkersreflectthetraditionalassociationswiththefemalegender:notquiteserious,oftensexual.Iwasabletoidentifythestylesandtypesofthewomenattheconferencebecauseeachofushadtomakedecisionsabouthair,clothing,make-upandaccessories,andeachofthosedecisionscarriedmeaning.Everystyleavailabletouswasmarked.Ofcourse,themeninourgrouphadtomakedecisionstoo,buttheirchoicescarriedfarlessmeaning.Themencouldhavechosenstylesthatweremarked,buttheydidn'thaveto,andinthisgroup,nonedid.Unlikethewomen,theyhadtheoptionofbeingunmarked.Itookaccountofthemen'sclothes.Therecouldhavebeenacowboyshirtwithstringtieorathree-piecesuitoranecklacedhippieinjeans.Buttherewasn't.A