高考英語(yǔ)作文續(xù)寫ContinuationWriting課件

1、Continuation Writing 閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個(gè)完整的故事。(2016年10月浙江高考試題) One weekend in July, Jane and her husband, Tom, had driven three hours to camp overnight by a lake in the forest. Unfortunately, on the way an unpleasant subject came up and they started to quarrel. By the time they reached the lake

2、, Jane was so angry that she said to Tom, “Im going to find a better spot for us to camp” and walked away. With no path to follow, Jane just walked on for quite a long time. After she had climbed to a high place, she turned 示例around, hoping to see the lake. To her surprise, she saw nothing but fores

3、t and, far beyond, a snowcapped mountain top. She suddenly realized that she was lost. “Tom!” she cried. “Help!” No reply. If only she had not left her mobile phone in that bag with Tom. Jane kept moving, but the farther she walked, the more confused she became. As night was beginning to fall, Jane

4、was so tired that she had to stop for the night. Lying awake in the dark, Jane wanted very much to be with Tom and her family. She wanted to hold him and tell him how much she loved him. Jane rose at the break of day, hungry and thirsty. She could hear water trickling (滴落) somewhere at a distance. Q

5、uickly she followed the sound to a stream. To her great joy, she also saw some berry bushes. She drank and ate a few berries. Never in her life had she tasted anything better. Feeling stronger now, Jane began to walk along the stream and hope it would lead her to the lake. As she picked her way care

6、fully along the stream, Jane heard a helicopter. Is that for me? Unfortunately, the trees made it impossible for people to see her from above. A few minutes later, another helicopter flew overhead. Jane took off her yellow blouse, thinking that she should go to an open area and flag them if they cam

7、e back again.注意：1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；2.應(yīng)使用5個(gè)以上短文中標(biāo)有下劃線的關(guān)鍵詞；3.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語(yǔ)已為你寫好；4.續(xù)寫完成后，請(qǐng)用下劃線標(biāo)出你所使用的關(guān)鍵詞語(yǔ)。Paragraph 1：But no more helicopters came and it was getting dark again. _ Paragraph 2：It was daybreak when Jane woke up. _ The underlined words Character: Tom, JaneSetting: yellow house, stream, l

8、ake, helicopter, at a distanceAction: walked, climbedMood: to her great joyBeginningClimaxEnding quarrel吵架，生氣離開 看見(jiàn)直升飛機(jī)angry(helicopters)rescued? 被救？ Processlost 迷路confused，tired構(gòu)思細(xì)讀兩段續(xù)寫的開頭語(yǔ)，理順續(xù)寫段落的邏輯關(guān)系；圍繞劃定的10個(gè)關(guān)鍵詞，合理創(chuàng)新故事情節(jié)。Para. 1: Butnomorehelicopterscameanditwasdark. 續(xù)寫部分：簡(jiǎn)當(dāng)時(shí)的感受？ 簡(jiǎn)是如何過(guò)夜的？ 簡(jiǎn)睡著了嗎？Pa

9、ra. 2: ItwasdaybreakwhenJanewokeup. 續(xù)寫部分：簡(jiǎn)獲救了嗎？ 誰(shuí)救了簡(jiǎn)？ 怎么救的？ 她當(dāng)時(shí)的感受？注意一、所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右（詞數(shù)少于130的， 從總分中減去2分）；二、應(yīng)使用5個(gè)以上短文中標(biāo)有下劃線的關(guān)鍵詞語(yǔ)，少用1 個(gè)扣1分，少用2個(gè)扣2分，少用3到4個(gè)扣3分；三、續(xù)寫完成后，請(qǐng)用下劃線標(biāo)出你所使用的關(guān)鍵詞語(yǔ)， 少劃1個(gè)不扣分，少劃2個(gè)到3個(gè)扣1分，少劃4個(gè)扣2分。第五檔續(xù)寫例文 But no more helicopters came and it was getting dark again. Feeling disappointed,

10、Jane had to stay alone for another night. After walking a long distance again, it occurred to her that she had a box of matches with her. She was wild with joy and used them to burn some branches so that she could get some warmth. Staring at the jumping fire, Jane thought of all the things that she

11、and Tom had experienced together. Only in this way could Jane feel better and fall asleep. It was daybreak when Jane woke up. Feeling refreshed, she continued to walk along the stream to find the way out. At noon, to her great joy, she finally caught sight of a wide water surface at a distance. It w

12、as the lake! Also she spotted a crew of policemen seeking along the bank! It seemed that they also spotted her because they were moving towards her! It was Tom who called the police. Finally, they led her to her husband. And the minute they met, they hugged together firmly as if they would never sep

13、arate again. They got home and have led a happy life ever since. 【點(diǎn)評(píng)】 該文為最高檔五檔作文22分。第一、續(xù)寫部分和原文及首句的融合度高。第一段開頭Jane had to stay alone for another night一句中的another night說(shuō)明作者理解了原文中Jane已經(jīng)度過(guò)了一夜的事實(shí)，又為下文她睡著了埋下了伏筆，從而和第二段又銜接上了。第二段開頭作者說(shuō)，Jane感覺(jué)精力恢復(fù)了，與段首所說(shuō)的醒來(lái)呼應(yīng)?！军c(diǎn)評(píng)】 第二、該文內(nèi)容豐富。增加了a box of matches和jumping fire，極有畫面

14、感；同時(shí)，在第二段，Jane看到了平靜的湖面、警方的活動(dòng)和他們見(jiàn)面后的喜悅等細(xì)節(jié)都描寫得很生動(dòng)。另外，在情節(jié)的推進(jìn)方面，作者在第一段續(xù)寫“生火”和第二段續(xù)寫的開頭“繼續(xù)前行”使故事復(fù)雜化，然后完成故事（看到湖面、警察和Tom）。第三、該文基本沒(méi)有語(yǔ)言錯(cuò)誤，達(dá)到了語(yǔ)法和詞匯的準(zhǔn)確性；在詞匯和語(yǔ)法的豐富性上，作者使用了occur，wild with joy，refresh，caught sight of，spot，the minute等詞匯；在語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)上，作者使用了現(xiàn)在分詞feeling disappointed，staring at the jumping fire，主語(yǔ)從句it occurre

15、d to her that和it seemed that，as if 引導(dǎo)的狀語(yǔ)從句，倒裝only in this way could Jane.，在續(xù)寫中體現(xiàn)出了較高的語(yǔ)言運(yùn)用水平。最后，在連貫性方面，作者使用了and，also，after等詞將上下文的邏輯體現(xiàn)了出來(lái)。 【點(diǎn)評(píng)】 讀后續(xù)寫的具體要求 提供一段350詞以內(nèi)的語(yǔ)言材料，要求考生依據(jù)該材料內(nèi)容、所給段落開頭語(yǔ)和所標(biāo)示關(guān)鍵詞進(jìn)行續(xù)寫（150詞左右），將其發(fā)展成一篇與給定材料有邏輯銜接、情節(jié)和結(jié)構(gòu)完整的短文。2續(xù)寫的短文字?jǐn)?shù)為150左右；4續(xù)寫完成后，請(qǐng)用下劃線標(biāo)注你所使用的關(guān)鍵詞語(yǔ)。續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，開頭已經(jīng)為你寫好;1應(yīng)使用短文中

16、5個(gè)以上標(biāo)有下劃線的關(guān)鍵詞語(yǔ)；3Requirements：“PRS” StrategyProblem-Result-Solution Step 1 Read for elementswho when where why what howRead for plots Beginning (character and setting) Process Climax (the main problem or conflict) Ending (a time to solve the problem / how things end up)? Para 2 Problems:Results:Solut

17、ions:Step 2 Creative PlottingPara 1 Problems:Results:Solutions:Underlined words:When:Who: What：How:Tip 1Key Words .Tip 2 consistent logicPossible results/solutionTip You can get your writing polished by using advanced phrases &structuresvivid verbsnecessary inner thoughts natural transitional wordsS

18、tep 3 DraftingWhat details can be added to enrich the outline?Tip To enrich the plot, we can add_, _, _, _, etc. actionsemotions(looks)surroundingsdialoguesWhich group do you favor?-First,besides/plus/additionally/furthermore, whats more, - fortunately, unexpectedly, surprisingly, happily for him, I

19、nspired by, Out of curiosity/ Driven by curiosity, Apparently, needless to say, immediately, in an instant,insteadStep 4 Polishing and writing*about 15 sentences withright punctuation and grammar* positive, logical, reasonable, well-connected* neat and beautiful handwriting*Dont forget to underline

20、the key words you have chosen.2讀后續(xù)寫的高分攻略評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)第五檔：21分-25分第四檔：16分-20分第三檔：11分-15分第二檔：6分-10分第一檔：1分-5分第五檔： 21分-25分與所給短文融洽度高，與所提供各段落開頭語(yǔ)銜接合理。內(nèi)容豐富，應(yīng)用了5個(gè)以上短文中標(biāo)出的關(guān)鍵詞語(yǔ)。所使用語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)和詞匯豐富，準(zhǔn)確，可能有些許錯(cuò)誤，但完全不影響意義表達(dá)。有效地使用了語(yǔ)句間的連接成分，使所續(xù)寫短文結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊。與所給短文融洽度較高，與所提供各段落開頭語(yǔ)銜接較為合理。內(nèi)容比較豐富，應(yīng)用了5個(gè)以上短文所標(biāo)出的關(guān)鍵詞語(yǔ)。所使用的語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)和詞匯較為豐富、準(zhǔn)確，可能有些許錯(cuò)誤，但不影

21、響意義表達(dá)。比較有效地使用了語(yǔ)句間的連接成分，使所續(xù)寫短文結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊。第四檔： 16分-20分第三檔（11分-15分）與所給短文關(guān)系較為密切，與所提供各段落開頭語(yǔ)有一定程度的銜接；寫出了若干有關(guān)內(nèi)容，應(yīng)用了4個(gè)以上短文中標(biāo)出的關(guān)鍵詞語(yǔ)；應(yīng)用的語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)和詞匯能滿足任務(wù)的要求，雖有一些錯(cuò)誤，但不影響意義的表達(dá)；應(yīng)用簡(jiǎn)單的語(yǔ)句間的連接成分，使全文內(nèi)容連貫。第二檔（6分-10分）與所給短文有一定的關(guān)系，與所提供各段落開頭語(yǔ)有一定程度的銜接；寫出了一些有關(guān)內(nèi)容，應(yīng)用了3個(gè)以上短文中標(biāo)出的關(guān)鍵詞語(yǔ)；語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)單調(diào)、詞匯項(xiàng)目有限，有些語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)和詞匯方面的錯(cuò)誤，影響了意義的表達(dá)；較少使用語(yǔ)句間的連接成分，全文內(nèi)容

22、缺少連貫性。第一檔（1分-5分）與所給短文和開頭語(yǔ)的銜接較差；產(chǎn)出內(nèi)容太少，很少使用短文中標(biāo)出的關(guān)鍵詞語(yǔ)；語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)單調(diào)、詞匯項(xiàng)目很有限，有較多語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)和詞匯方面的錯(cuò)誤，嚴(yán)重影響了意義的表達(dá)；缺乏語(yǔ)句間的連接成分，全文內(nèi)容不連貫。續(xù)寫中常出現(xiàn)的問(wèn)題一、書寫潦草，卷面涂改；標(biāo)點(diǎn)使用隨意。二、上下文的連貫性差；三、表達(dá)粗糙，用詞不準(zhǔn)且單一，句式簡(jiǎn)單，口語(yǔ)化嚴(yán)重四、情節(jié)設(shè)置缺乏邏輯性，續(xù)寫的內(nèi)容發(fā)散太寬五、與所給短文及段落開頭語(yǔ)的銜接程度差；六、沒(méi)有使用5個(gè)或5個(gè)以上原文中的劃線詞語(yǔ)，沒(méi)有劃出所 用的劃線詞語(yǔ)。獲得高分的寫作技巧Tip 1: 故事要圍繞著主要人物展開。Tip 2: 詳細(xì)刻畫角色及其情感

23、。Tip 4: 使用恰當(dāng)?shù)男揎椩~以使描寫更加生動(dòng)。Tip 3: 使用恰當(dāng)?shù)你暯釉~以使故事更有連貫性。Tip 5: 做到首尾呼應(yīng)以使故事更加有條理。Tip 6: 確保第二段和第一段的銜接有邏輯。遣 詞 造 句 修 辭1. The smog covering the city was as thick as _. (simile)2. The child raced through the house _. (simile)3. The sun _ your skin with glowing warmth. The flowers _ in the spring breeze. (personification)4. Good painting is _; it can be tasted, but not explaine